This is my very first story. It will be a oneshot, which means that I will not add any other chapters. I wish you people enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor its characters.
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I have everything I always wanted in my life; a wonderful job at Karakura's General Hospital, a crazy and loving family, loyal friends and last but not least, I have found the love of my life, with whom I just started living together.
Yet, why am I still doing this?
Do not get me wrong, I love Renji. I simply adore that stupid red-haired monkey. I love his long red hair, I love those sexy tattoos all over his body, I love his loud mouth, his obnoxious and brash manners… Sappy, yeah but I love everything about him. I don't keep secrets from him and I never lie to him.
Just this one time.
"Ngh… G-Grimmjow…"
Yeah; Grimmjow. You are probably wondering who the hell this Grimmjow is.
Well, let me backtrack one year ago…
It was June when I first met him; right after I finished med school, I went all by my self on a trip to Tokyo's famous indoors hot springs hotel to get my bearings back to life. I definitely deserved some relaxation time since the past six years of my life had been one hell of a hard work, full of tests, clinics, anatomy – dear Lord, anatomy – physiology, pathology et al. It was obvious that I was pissing my pants in glee and excitement; I was actually hopping my way to the train station.
The trip to Tokyo however was another story though; the ride was long and noisy because of some snotty, female high schoolers squealing and keening and rambling about boys the whole while. God damn, this is one of the reasons I just can't stand chicks; too talkative and loud for their own damn good.
With this and that, I finally arrived to Tokyo, checked in and settled inside my personal room – "single-bed" room sounds a little sad, don't you think? Well, as I headed urgently down to the hot springs to soak myself up for good, it was when I saw him; the most majestic, alluring creature I had ever set my eyes on; tall and broad, the top of his head decorated by a thick mass of shocking blue hair. I was absolutely mesmerized by the color. Was it real? It looked real but I had done genetics during med school, I never came across a case of sky blue hair.
Who am I fooling, I have orange hair myself; I shouldn't be the one talking.
Besides the blue hair, what else intrigued me was the man's state of undress. He was simply wearing a small towel around his waste which didn't leave much to my imagination; his long, muscular legs, broad shoulders and thick chorded biceps delectably displayed in abundance. The man oozed sex appeal and of course I, as an inexperienced gay man, was strongly affected by it.
I followed him with my gaze as he walked gracefully towards the semi-public spring, already feeling like a pathetic stalker, and I couldn't stop the sex flush building up on my face and neck when, with an expertly twitch of his hips, the towel pooled at his feet, giving me a detailed image of his firm backside.
I also recall licking my lips at that point. Who wouldn't?
My body then after moved in autopilot; I followed his lead, got rid of the towel around my waist and jumped into the hot water, immediately sighing in delight as the soothing heat spread around my body.
I didn't dare to look at him just yet, though I couldn't keep my eyes away for too long either. I knew I was practically eye-molesting him and I knew he would figure it out sooner or later but I couldn't help myself. He was so surreally beautiful; his angular face came into perfect harmony with his thin lips and sharp, straight nose. His blue hair unruly, sticking into every possible direction and his eyes…
Good Lord his eyes.
Endless pools of royal blue, still as the tranquil ocean while the man gazed outside of the windows, to the brightened darkness of the "city that never sleeps".
I had never seen such shade of blue before in my life. They reminded me of the ocean and how much I missed it. As a toddler, I grew up near the sea but when my mother died, my ape-shit idiot of a father dragged me and my baby sisters to the city called Karakura. We had never visited the ocean ever since.
It felt like as long as I could stare into his eyes, I would never forget the color of the ocean…
Suddenly I realized that those exquisite eyes were boring straight into mine, making my breath rush out of my lungs, shrieking like a panicked banshee. Once an arrogant smirk formed on the man's handsome face, a bunch of silly butterflies erupted in my stomach also.
"Hello."
Remember those butterflies I was talking about? Yeah, as soon as the man spoke, they morphed into a swarm of bats, sweeping and screeching around the walls of my stomach. His voice was hypnotic; deep, sultry and (in)voluntarily sexy. It felt like the first sip of hot milk with honey during a cold with a sore throat. Refreshing. I did not reply at first and I averted my gaze from the ethereal man, choosing to stare down at my hands instead.
"Hmm…?", the man hummed, the amusement evident in his tone, "You can look, you know. It's free."
My head immediately snapped at his direction and felt my eyes widen. That arrogant jerk! I wanted to yell at him, to let him on a little secret that he was an asshole and I didn't fancy assholes, however my voice had gone on a long trip to lame-land and I couldn't utter a single sound. Apparently, the idiot understood that because low, amused chuckle escaped his throat and I saw him moving closer to me up until he was within an arm's reach.
"My name is Grimmjow. Jaegerjaquez Grimmjow."
"I-Ichigo. Kurosaki Ichigo…", I stupidly stuttered, my throat surprisingly dry. As much of an asshole as he was, his presence was overwhelming, so not only my anger instantly dissipated but also I felt like I was totally losing myself into those blue eyes.
The smirk on Grimmjow's face widened. "Ichigo, eh?" He shook his head as if he was making a decision about something. "So you a protector… That is interesting," he added.
My eyebrows flew up to my hairline in surprise. That was the first time in my life someone had acknowledged the meaning of my name without me having to beat it into them. "H-How did you…?"
"I don't think your parents named you after a fruit," Grimmjow explained with an amused chuckle that blossomed into a throaty laughter. It was contagious and I soon found myself laughing along with him.
"So Ichigo…", the blue-haired man said as soon as we stopped laughing, "You wanted to ask me something?"
I felt heat crawling its way up my neck towards my cheeks and believe me; it was neither from the steam nor hot water. "U-Um… No… Why?"
I felt a large hand running up on the inside my bare thigh and I barely held back a moan. Grimmjow leaned towards me until his lips caressed the helix of my ear as whispered. "Because your non-too-subtle sensual gazes have gotten me hot and I think it'd be fair if you did something about it…"
The rest is history. Yes, of course we headed up to his room and he fucked the living shit out of me. And I loved every lasting minute of it.
We didn't stop there though. After we screwed around until the wee hours of the morning we stopped for some time to catch our breaths, with me cuddling close to his sculptured chest and him lying on his back, trailing meaningless figures up and down my side. Our bodies were covered in sweat and come, my skin was sticky against his but I couldn't find myself getting disgusted; I was so sexually satisfied I felt like a feather blown gently away by the wind.
That was until Grimmjow dropped the bomb of the night by telling me something that had me gaping for at least ten minutes; the man said that was twenty six and already married. With a woman nonetheless and yet he did have sex with me, a man.
"I am a closeted gay," he had said with a sigh when I questioned him. "But only to the public, I know what I want," he then corrected.
"What about your wife?", I asked timidly, idly playing with one of his nipples.
Grimmjow sighed in exasperation. "Who cares about her? She's been "cheating" on me with another guy ever since our parents forced us to marry. She didn't want the marriage either but there was nothing we could do."
"I see," I muttered, completely out of something to say. But then it dawned to me; "Does she know that you are gay?"
"Yes, and she doesn't care. She is actually happy for me. Don't worry about it…", he said and entwined our fingers. Grimmjow's face lightened up with his signature smirk and then ruffled my hair with his free hand.
When he rolled on top of me a few moments later however, his voice had significantly deepened a few octaves, his eyes darker. "That doesn't mean that I won't be fucking your nice little ass all weekend."
And he did; dear God he did. He fucked me on every available surface in his suite, especially in the bathroom. He had claimed that he liked to fuck in front of mirrors.
At the end of the weekend, I could barely stand, let alone walk. Grimmjow teased the hell out of me for "being a pussy" and "not being able to take it like a man". I had been taking it – hard – from a man the whole weekend, freak.
Then he told me he had to leave. He said he had business back in his hometown, Osaka. I didn't want him to leave, how pathetic was that? I felt something break inside of me when I saw his retreating back vanishing behind the hotel's door.
He had said he'd call.
Funny enough, he never did. If someone asked me if I had expected something more than just a fuck – an amazing, mind-blowing, soul-searing, life-changing fuck so to say – I wouldn't be able to answer for sure.
After mulling over the situation, I got on with my life in a couple of weeks. Weeks turned into months and two months later I meet Renji. I met him at the hospital I was doing my specialty; the stupid redhead had an accident with the motorcycle and I had to perform three stitches to his face and four to his shoulder.
The idiot still has that damn motorcycle.
As much as I was attracted to him, my job had rulesand those stated clearly that doctors must not date their patients and I really did not want to risk my career for the sake of my love life. However, Renji didn't seem to be bothered about it; right after he came back to remove the stitches, he asked me out. We dated for a while and then we became a couple. We even moved in together after six months, sharing a small apartment we pay by ourselves, him being a tattoo artist and me being a medical practitioner.
Two months after the move, he calls me. The caller's ID was unknown and unidentified and although I usually did not answer those kinds of calls, since they tend to be pranks, I had strong feeling about that one.
Of course I did.
"Ichigo. Remember me?"
My entire body froze at the sound of that voice. How could I forget?
"Grimmjow."
I heard him smirk from the other end. "The one and only."
Silence fell between us. I didn't know what I should say; get mad or hang up or talk to him as if nothing happened? Grimmjow was the one to put me out of that dilemma.
"So, I am in Karakura," he said after sigh. "Come meet me at Seiretei Hotel."
"Grimmjow… I am in a relationship now," I rushed to explain, my voice low and timid, as if I was ashamed. In a way I was because my feet suddenly grew a mind of their own and they were already moving towards the front door.
He chuckled again. That damned bastard could see right through me even without looking at me. "Does that really matter to you, Ichigo?"
It did matter. It mattered a lot. I love Renji yet I betrayed him.
I still do.
"Ah! Grimm-jow, yes, h-harder…"
There I am, on my knees with Grimmjow thrusting deeply into me for what feels like the millionth that evening. His big hands are roaming freely all over my body, from my shoulders to my hips, then over my stomach and nipples, ending their explorations in my hair. He loves my hair; the color and the softness, he says. He says it is unique, just like me.
He loves touching it and I love it when he touches it.
Who am I fooling? I love it wherever he touches me. His rough, calloused hands feel incredibly good against my skin; it makes my body react like it never does to anyone else, not even Renji.
I love his hands.
We are doing it again in front of a mirror. I guess Grimmjow never got rid of that fetish of his. At first I had thought it was the weirdest and most embarrassing kink a man could have but actually after we fucked a few more times, I realized why he was doing it…
It isn't just because he is a freaking arrogant narcissist – well it is mainly because of that – but it is also because it makes everything so much …better. I can see his dark blue eyes, half-lidded and half-wild, boring straight into mine as his hips snap and stab my prostate with deadly precision; I can see these rippled muscles of his abdomen flexing and relaxing as he pistons in and out of me; I can see his parted lips, the sweat beads running down his temples and neck; I can even see the occasional twitching of his eyebrows from the pleasure and effort…
He is so painfully beautiful.
"You feel so good Ichigo…", he grunts between harsh breaths, "I have missed you and your body so much…"
Hell on everything holy. His sex voice… That voice works better than any aphrodisiac on me.
"Hah! Nhg!" My retort died on my throat as soon as his large hand snaked its way to my straining cock. That always drives me crazy.
"Don't come yet," he commands and tightens his grip around me. At that point, he always slows down the pace of his thrusts just a very, very tiny bit but – oh God – he increases their power tenfold.
"Y-Yes!", I immediately agree. Although Grimmjow never bothered to explain why he allows me to come only after he comes, it feels amazing so I don't question him either; he seems to always know what makes both of us feel good. Besides, he is such a control freak, so I guess that's why he's doing it.
Grimmjow's grunts and groans have now increased in intensity and frequency and I know what that means. I have known for quite a while now. I desperately try to hold my load until he comes but it was much, much harder said than done.
"God damn it… I will come… Shit, Ichigo."
I brace myself against the floor and stare at his face as he reaches climax; his head is tilted a little bit to the back, his eyes closed, all the muscles of his face relaxed, save for the pleasured scowl, and his thin lips parted as he let out a long, loud moan.
Just the sight could make me come.
A few strokes to my now released erection and him still pulsing inside me are enough to throw me over the edge. I nearly scream my orgasm as I ride it out, Grimmjow moaning with me as apparently my sphincter muscles tighten around him, enhancing the pleasure that is already perforating his body.
For a brief moment, all that can be heard in the room was Grimmjow's and mine ragged pants as we try to even out our erratic breathings.
"Why is sex with ya always so goddamned good?", he grunts as he slips out of me and looks at me through the mirror.
I fall on my stomach, exhausted but fully sated and I smirk at him. "Simply because I'm the best."
He chuckles and removes his condom, then tosses it into the perfectly situated trash can, as I then roll on my back and stare at the ceiling. As soon as he was done with cleaning himself and me up, he climbs on top of me and kisses my lips, gently. He rarely kisses me and it surprises me each time because one would never expect someone oozing raw power as much as Grimmjow did to be so tender and loving.
Nevertheless, he is an amazing kisser; his kisses are slow and lazy, his tongue teasing and toying mine as if we have been lovers since forever. It sometimes feels like that. Coming down from my orgasm high, though, I remember that I already have a lover so I pull away from the kiss abruptly, guilt shooting my gut fiercely. He looks down at me and his brows furrowed. "Don't be stubborn. I want to kiss you."
I let a small whine of displeasure escape from my throat. Yes, of course I want to kiss him too. I like it when he kisses me. "Grimmjow, I am supposed to kiss my boyfriend only…"
Grimmjow barked out a laugh and brushed his lips with mine. "You are also supposed to fuck your boyfriend only but look at you…", he whispers on my lips, "You come running back to me every time I call you…" He then adds with a chuckle; "Same goes for me, though. I don't know why but only you can completely satisfy me."
I scowl at his words, even though he was "flattering" me, in his own way. The bastard smiles at me to camouflage the amusement clearly written in his eyes. "Come on. Let me kiss you.", he rumbles and affectionately rubs his nose against mine. Ah, the sound of his low voice always makes me shudder and give in.
"You like it when I kiss you."
I stick my tongue out childishly and he laughs throatily, muttering something about me being cute. However, his face then turns all serious and he sucks my tongue into his mouth and we start kissing again.
Our kissing session turned into a heated make out session, hands exploring, hips grinding, which only resulted into another round of brain-numbing sex. I stayed on the floor on my back, trying to gather whatever was left of my pathetic self, as Grimmjow put his clothes back on. I am somehow proud to see that his legs and hands are now shaking slightly.
Before he left, he kneels beside me with his signature smirk and ruffles my sexed up hair. "I'll call you as soon as I can."
"Please don't," I plead, covering my eyes with my arm, effectively blocking him out of my sight.
He laughs silently, stands up and walks towards the door but before he went out, he turned around and said;
"Our destinies are knotted together Ichigo. We're stuck with each other to the very end."
The door clicked softly and I sigh; I always hate it when he leaves. It always leaves me feeling empty; hollow… Alone. And ashamed. Ashamed of myself for not being able to resist the temptation.
It is not that I love him, no. I know how love feels like because I love Renji. I really do. Unconditionally. Truthfully. But Grimmjow… Grimmjow is something else; something I can't simply run away from. What we have is beyond comprehension. Sure, neither of us knows what the hell it is but we both know how it feels; it feels… It feels like the drug addict with his heroin. Yes. That is the most adequate explanation; I need him. He isn't good for me and I don't love him but I need him in my life. I need his touch, his kiss, his taste, his smell…
I sit up and ran a hand through my orange hair, thinking how fucked up I actually am. Literally and metaphorically.
I take a quick shower, put my clothes back on and head back home. I open the door of my apartment and guilt shoots my gut like an auto-gun as I am immediately squeezed into my boyfriend's bear hug. It couldn't have been better; Renji always does this. I took a deep whiff of his home-reminding scent, all my worries washed away.
One thing still rings like a siren in my head; a selfish traitor like me doesn't deserve a man like Renji.
True. So excruciatingly true.
"Ichi. Welcome home, baby," Renji says with his deep, rough voice.
"I'm home." Where I belonged.
But is it really where I belong?
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Destiny you say… So, it really exists? Is this the reason why I am unable to shut my ears to your callings? Is this the reason we cannot stay away from each other? Is it the reason why everything feels different, better with you? Is it even stronger than love? Tell me, Grimmjow, is it worth it?
Are you worth it?
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A (creative) feedback is always wecome. Thank you again for reading.