A Mallet to the Heart…
Life always has its quirks, right? Like that time someone stepped on the back of my foot and I face planted down the stairs? Like that time when I didn't notice my skirt tucked into my tights? Like that time I got hit by bus...
Such memorable moments, I know. The latter of which I was expecting someone to pop up with a camera and take a snapshot of my face in crowning glory- like the ones you get a theme parks, as the bus carried me thirty feet from the collision site; the driver breaking sharply and ultimately ending up running over my discombobulated corpse for good measure.
Yup, I was good as dead alright.
I had a pretty boring life, well, apart from the 'mishaps'. They only seemed to add fuel to the fire of a burning, boring life-
Scratch burning, compared to some people I was just a candle that would oddly sputter in surprise sometimes when something different happened… More of a tealight, really. As I stood in a long winding queue in purgatory, I contemplated what my next life would be like. A total of six hours later, aching feet and a supreme headache due to the philosophical imaginations my brain could conjure, I found myself standing in front of a small, cheaply fashioned desk, with a gnome like man squatting behind it. He had a large bulbous nose, pitted cheeks and a pair of round framed glasses that hung like a pendulum with the chain around his neck to go with them. I willed my face not to pinch in repulsion.
"Next," His voice was acidic, only adding to his gargoyle-esque stature.
"…Uh… Hi?"
"Name?"
"I... I don't…" That bus gave me concussion!
The gargoyle flips open one of many files and rattles off some stats; "Moira Stevens. Age seventeen, British female, occupation: student, cause of death-" He pauses, humming contemplatively. "Interesting."
Do not many people go out with a morbid bash- quite litterally, really, like I did? I may just be a boring candle but that doesn't mean I have to be as entertaining as cardboard, but it doesn't mean that someone needs to meddle with my, uh, 'death records' and spice things up a little.
"Were you aware that you were pushed, Miss Stevens?" I was pretty sure that I'd walked into the path of an oncoming bus- not because I was suicidal, purely because it was just my luck to do so. I'd done it three times before and dodged at last minute, but obviously the fourth time wasn't the charm, and my luck had run out.
"It says here that you weren't due to die for another forty or so years, Miss Stevens, so I'm afraid you'll have to come back another time so we can sort out this little problem," He says in a bored tone.
"But-" The nerve of him, he's dismissing me so entirely that he's digging for gold in that funky-looking nose of his! "There must be something you can do!"
He ignores me, still rummaging.
You dig any deeper you'll either find Shergar or your finger will stick there!
"Hmmmph. There is one thing you can do. Your vessel has been destroyed back on earth, so there's no way of returning to your original body. However, that does not mean that in another universe, parallel to yours, your body has been destroyed. If you wish you can cross into another dimension with a vessel synonymous to the one that had been destroyed and you may have a chance of living again before your time."
"Excuse me?" Did you just speak my language? Me no speak-y purgatory-Schrödinger-bull-crap…
Gargoyle man sighs, pulling his finger out his nose with a 'Pop!' and flicking away some debris. Ew… "Go through that door, grab a new body and get out of my sight, capiche?" He points to his left, cries 'Next!' and I'm shoved out of the way by a guy with his face hanging off.
Cringing, I slowly wander over to the door, a burning desire to turn and run rumbling in my gut. What was it… The devil is on the left…
Plucking up enough courage, I push back the door and force my feet to move in a dead crawl into the room. A man in a white surgical mask, scrubs, a lab coat and latex gloves looks up from an examination table, what seems to be a female body strewn across it. Behind poorly placed privacy screens (sterile green fabric hung limply on a metal skeleton, I can see large silver hooks suspending rows upon rows of feet, the bodies thankfully hidden from my view, like meat at a butchers.
"Awh, youwv, mvst bvwe thwe won Gwerrrvinnn mwenchond?" He asks, voice obscured by his surgical mask.
He pulls it from his face before he continues; "Nice to meet you, I am Adelric, call me Ad. Or Del. Or Ric!" He laughs wildly and I fight the urge to hide my face in my hands.
"Hi? I'm Moira. Moira Stevens. Or rather, I was, right?"
"Too right, missy! So, what made you choose this option?" He says, slapping the table behind him.
"I didn't want to wait in the queue again…" I mutter darkly, thinking of the little gnome of a man and a thousand ways to plot his downfall for almost making me wait in line again. Wouldn't it be ironic if he got hit by a bus?
"I see. I see! Right, well, not many people do choose this option; they prefer to start over afresh and some don't even get the choice, they're dropped 'below'-" The crazy surgeon makes quotation marks with his hand- fingers twitching like nervous contortionist rabbits having their ears pulled to attention and then being folded in on themselves, "-before they could say 'boo!' to a goose. You, my dear, are a special case. You're such a special snowflake! You weren't meant to die, and that cocks up the whole system. The man up top is making special privileges for you, y'know?"
O-kay, ignore the crazy rambling and we have ourselves someone slightly welcoming… He's… What was the word?
"What do you mean by 'privileges'?" Alderic's eyes light up.
…Eccentric. That was it.
"He's allowing you to keep your teenage body. Most of the people that are admitted to purgatory died because they were too old, too young or just wanted to start over for a better life. Big G wants you to keep your childhood, or what's left of it seeing as you'd be eighteen soon- you big girl, you!"
When he said 'Big G' I nearly burst into a cackle at the idea of 'God' hanging with his 'Homies', wearing his initial on a stonking gold chain. It was too ludicrous to picture and then not laugh, but then again, I'd just spent the last six and a bit hours wondering what the heck was happening until now. It's a wonder I hadn't already snapped, truthfully.
"So I get to be seventeen still? Even if I'm dropped into another world?"
"Yuppers. This body will be given a false identity and history in the world you'll be sent to, so you don't have to worry about the 'This isn't actually my body' crap- the world will adapt to the fabrication. Your memories from your, well, 'previous' life will ultimately fade within the first week upon entry to your new life, so you don't have to worry about some Go- sorry your excellency, I wasn't going to use your name in vain!- uh, some very awful flashbacks... Now, anything you'd like to change about yourself for your new 'life'?" He picks up a good sized mallet from who-knows-where and swings it up to rest against his right shoulder, an odd glint in his eyes.
That's and interesting one, actually. My life had been mundane for seventeen years so why not develop a sense of adventure?
"Can you make my life as interesting as possible, please? It was pretty boring before now, and I don't feel like playing it safe anymore," I shrug when he looks at me questioningly.
"A sense of adventure, eh? I know the perfect place to send you! I must warn you however, you must remember that this is a one time only deal. If you die again in your new life there's no choice again; we can't just offer those out willy-nilly, no Sir! So don't kill a priest or anything, 'kay? You seem like such a sweet girl, so we don't want you sweating to death downstairs now do we?" Downstairs?! What the- oh, he meant Hell. For a second I thought he was talking about my- "Well, I wish you good luck with this one~!"
"Wait! What?!" But it's too late, he hurls the mallet up over his head and pounds it down onto the corpse's chest, a sharp hiss erupts from my thorax as it caves in and I collapse in on myself. The sickly, puce-coloured floor tiles are the last thing I see through Moira Stevens' eyes. When I open them again, Alderic is staring down at me, and I'm laid flat on a fiercely cold surface.
"Seems like the soul transfer was a success. Good luck in your new life, Moira Stevens, or rather as you'll now be named; 'Fujimoto Nanaho'!"
He swings the hammer up once more with a grunt, and gives me a demeted closed eye smile and mocking wave as it descends towards my chest. When it hits, there's the fleeting sensation of pain and the upheaval of a rhythmic heartbeat, before my eyes close and I fall into my new fate.
When I come to, I feel like I've been run over. Again.
Forcing my eyelids open I find myself staring up at a clear cerulean sky; the tips of towering trees pressing upwards in praise as clouds that could have been made from cotton-candy drift across the atmosphere. There's the slight twitter of birdsong and a whistle of leaves fluttering in the wind. Its's deafeningly loud to my sensitive ears. Dazed, I try to decipher my mind.
"…The fu-?" I wince, trying to scramble off my back and onto my feet.
"Where am I?" I rasp, spinning wildly- well as wildly as possible with your chest feeling like a tonne of bricks has been dropped onto it, trying to find the road to civilisation. Convenience is a pleasant thing, and I adamantly find a pathway to follow, deciding it may be best for myself to find some form of human life and prioritize my mind;
Okay, my name is... M..Moi, mo- Fujimoto… Nanoho… Yeah, Fujimoto Nanaho… I'm seventeen… Where- where am I?
After a while of walking, well, slowly dragging my body in one direction with leaden feet, and clutching at my ribs because of the ricocheting pain emancipating from inside my torso, I run into a giant construct.
Sweet merciful Jesu-Kami, I'm saved! Civilisation!
Two towering gates swung outwards pinpoint my location as… Kono… Konohagakure no sato? I think that's what it says… the characters are so difficult to my old language- what old language?
The slender grasps of what remained from my previous vessel are slowly slipping away from me unknowingly.
Stumbling forwards to this 'Konohagakure' I'm greeted by two figures sporting green flak jackets, mixed emotion adamant on their faces. One of them looks ashen as I wobble closer to the desk they hunch behind, the other is grappling for what looks like a weapon- but replaces it on closer inspection of me shuffling towards him.
"Are you alright?!" One of them calls. He has a bandage on his face... I give him a blank look; I feel fine, despite being dead on my feet and my chest palpitating like it's being cracked into a thousand splinters.
"You're bleeding!" The other man calls, pointing frugally to a point on his chest and motioning towards me. Sure enough, when I check, blood is pooling down my what remains of my clothing the new vessel was wearing before I arrived, a large fist or rather, mallet shaped cavity dips below my left collarbone, concave injury slicing through my body deeply. Oh my- I- I-I think I can see my… heart…
Ignoring the queasy desire bubbling in my trachea- and the frantic shouts of 'Oh shit! Get a medic!' from the two men, my eyes roll into the back of my head, and for the second time in this body, I simply pass out.
Beep…
Wha-?
Beep…
Where am…? What's that- Oh it's a heart monitor… I must be in a hospital then…
Beep… beep… beep…
Kami that's fucking annoying…
Beep…
"-the mission must have been-"
Beep…
"What do you mean?! Compromised! She's one of the bes-"
"She'd be-"
"I don't care she's still one of my-" There's the faint sounds of a verbal tussle between the voices, and a muttered apology.
Beep…
I groan softly, chest still feeling like a fuck tonne of masonry has pierced it (well, something to that extent did happen…) trying to shift over onto my side to get comfy and failing when my body chooses not to respond.
"Ah, I believe that she's awake, Ibiki," A genteel voice says close to my left.
"Fujimoto! You awake?" Another voice, with a gruff tone startles my eyes into opening; my mouth making a perfect 'O' and closing simply when my voice fails me. I nod instead, showing to the owner of the gruff voice (an even gruffer person worthy of such a timbre) that I am indeed awake and regretting even opening my eyes.
"State your ID, Fujimoto," The gruff voice growls. 013666, my mind supplies the string of nonsensical numbers easily- shocking me. Such a shame I can't communicate properly, otherwise I may had squeaked them out out of pure terror from simply not being in full control of my mind.
"Ibiki, there's no need to bark at the girl, she's just woken up from a serious injury."
"My apologies, Hokage-sama, I just want answers," Ibiki huffed.
"Be patient, and I'm sure you'll get them. Now, Fujimoto-chan, what on earth happened for you to be this wounded?" The 'Hokage'- he seems like a man with power, and someone that I should respect. That I know I should respect. He gives me a grave smile. It's nice and comforting, even though from what I can tell, this is in fact a make-shift interrogation and I should be crapping my pants if I was wearing some; this body hates hospital gowns with a passion, and I have no idea why.
Of course I don't know what happened, I'm just a body snatcher- for now- but 'Fujimoto Nanaho' knows what happened on this 'mission' of hers, and why backless gowns are to be avoided at all costs. Its all in her memories- I can see it all replaying in my head; a man in a white coat and face mask came charging towards her with a large blunt weapon. She had tried to fend him off with a deterrent of her own but he over powered her, smashing the projectile into her chest. The rest was unknown for she blacked out from pain.
She- I, clear my throat, hoarsely relaying the story to the Hokage and Ibiki- the latter of which is oddly reminding me of a mother bear fussing over a cub; which is supposed to be a cute scene but it lacks that cotton wool wrapping because of the sharp-pointy-threatening-teeth. Or in Ibiki's case, his large stature and demeaning sadistic-killer looking scars.
"There- cough-, there was… -cough- someone… was on the way back… wearing a lab coat… hit me with something… -cough-couldn't… stop…" Alderic you body snatching nasty piece of shit, so that's what you meant by fabricating facts, you sly little-
"Was any information compromised, Fujimoto-chan?" The Hokage asks softly. I shake my head. None, because there wasn't any to compromise, just Alderic needing a body to place me in...
"Did you catch what he looked like at all?" Ibiki asks bluntly, cracking his knuckles. At the popping sound, I flinch, feeling a shudder work its way down my back. So this body doesn't like that noise, huh?
I shake my head; "He was wearing a mask…"
"Ibiki, sift through the bingo books –past and present, for any nins matching this description"
"At once, Hokage-sama," With a puff of smoke, Ibiki has vanished.
Wh-wh-what? Is he… a magician…?
The Hokage notices my look of intrigue, and the interrogation session restarts. "Just how much do you remember about yourself, Fujimoto-chan?"
"My name is Fujimoto Nanaho, I'm seventeen, I'm in a hospital in Konohagakure. I collapsed at the gates…"
"Do you not recall being a ninja, Fujimoto-chan?"
"BWAHAHAHA!" I laugh loudly causing the Hokage to blanch. "Ninjas don't... exist… Hokage-sama, stop pulling my leg"
Silence on the Hokage's half "You're not pulling my leg… are you?"
He shakes his head, "No, I do believe that I am not 'pulling your leg', Fujimoto-chan. How on earth did you expect Morino-san to just disappear like that?"
"Morino-san?"
"Ibiki," He clarifies to me.
I 'Oh''d and simply said that I thought it was a magic trick, to which the Hokage had to smother a chuckle with the sleeve of his white and red robe. He then began to explain who I was and what I happened to have been doing on the day of my 'accident'. They'd cleared me of foul play before I'd even woken up.
I'd apparently been a high ranking Kunoichi of the Torture and Interrogation department of Konoha, hence Ibiki's forceful attitude. He didn't want to lose a valuable asset to his team. He would, however, have to deal with it; the medics at the hospital deemed that my body would not be suitable for 'active duty' for six months at least, due to recuperation time needed to fully restore me to perfect health. The flesh surrounding my heart would never be the same again, but if I didn't push it, I could still be a Ninja. Not that I was seriously bothered about staying in that occupation.
The mission I had been sent on had been quite simple in fact, only what he called a 'C-Rank'. I'd been delivering a scroll. The Hokage believed it had been the possible reason that I was ambushed, ergo why he wanted to know if any information had been compromised, but the scroll had been recovered from where I first woke up later by a patrol group.
I remember saying to Alderic that I wanted an adventurous life, but not this adventurous. This shouldn't even be possible- I mean, Ninja's for Kami's sake!
I spent roughly a week in the hospital before they deemed me worthy of being released back home– wherever that was. I was surprised that I'd have any visitors at all other than the Hokage and Ibiki. A woman with purple hair scraped back in a fashion that fanned out behind her head, by the name of Anko Mitarashi popped in with a box of dango; chatting vaguely about torture techniques and eating the sweets to herself before belching and leaving. Also ushered into my hospital room came blonde haired man by the name of Inoichi Yamanaka and his daughter Ino- the latter addressed me as 'Nana-chan', so we must have been prior acquaintances. She was quite pleasant for a pre-teen, if a little forward and bratty, unlike the snotty nosed, spot ridden beasts from my other life. They stayed to exchange idle words and to place a bouquet of bright wild flowers in a vase on the standard hospital bedside-table. It gave me something to look at, even if the pollen was making me itch after a couple of days.
They never found a Nin- missing or legit, fitting the description I gave. Ibiki concluded that who attacked me was either someone using a Henge technique or the Nin was no longer a threat to be found. He was quite upset there was no one to pin blame to, but of course, I couldn't just come out with the information of a servant of God attacking me… They'd chuck me into the Looney Bin before I could shout 'Dattebayo!'
The thing that worried me most about all this, well, whatever it was, was that nobody seemed to notice I wasn't exactly just Fujimoto Nanaho anymore. I was… M-M-mo…. No, I was Fujimoto Nanaho, but I had something inside of me for sure. And that Thing in question wasn't me- I screamed internally when I saw my reflection for the first time; my hair was black (the Inner-Thing had protested I was dirty blonde instead), my eyes were blue, (the Inner-Thing, again, interjected that my eyes had been green) and my skin was as smooth as silk. The Inner-Thing had a major rant- not that I could discern what she was actually saying, because the haranguing flowed quickly. I managed to pick out 'S'not fair!' and 'Stupid pimples' from the Inner-Thing's rambling.
I was thoroughly confused with this new world. For a start, Ninja's for crying out loud. I mean, they existed here, but I was under the impression that they weren't supposed to 'exist' with the whole 'stealth mode' thing going on; but I was proven wrong during my recovery time when taken to the training grounds and saw someone flinging 'Jutsus' about. When that fireball shot out of nowhere I felt like sprinting back to my house, hiding under a blanket and never coming back out again, but my treacherous Kunoichi-vessel-legs stopped me from running and held firm until it was over.
Something told me that it would be a long-long recuperation time for me.
I'd made it back into active duty, though the Hokage forced Ibiki to relinquish my station in the T&I department, saying the stress would be no good for me. Ibiki was not chuffed with losing a member of his team, so the Hokage's announcement pissed on his bonfire big time. He'd given me quite the earful about not being able to withstand an one measly attack and that I was weak, before Inoichi arrived to prise him away and back to his department. Without the harassment from my former boss, I was quite happy to just be placed on gate duty with Izumo and Kotetsu; my fellow Chūnin and also the two that had found me before I collapsed. They were astonished to find I was still alive, the one with the bandage across his nose- Kotetsu- joked about how I'd 'bared my heart to him' to lighten up the atmosphere, before his partner Izumo clonked him round the head with a clip board muttering about how it wasn't appropriate.
We'd just checked in some Kusa-Genin for the up-coming Chūnin Exams:
"Seriously, do you think any of them will make Chūnin this year?" Kotetsu asked, fiddling with the bandage across his nose for the umpteenth time today.
I never knew that shinobi were this vain. They get the job done, sure, but this isn't a fashion parade. I felt overly dressed in my standard gear and flak jacket compared to my fellow Kunoichi and even some Shinobi. Ino, who was twelve for crying out loud, had fewer clothes on that me. She had cornered me before my shift today on the way to meet her team and forced me to agree to a shopping trip.
Yeah I got bossed around by a pre-teen…
"Who knows," Izumo shrugged, actually doing his job instead of goofing off like his counterpart usually did.
I watch the Kusa-Genin follow their Sensei; they're quite the little Shinobi and Kunoichi soldiers in the making- I can smell their fear from here, but they're not allowing their knees to knock.Yet. The redhead looked like she stood a chance, if that was any consolation.
"Just to let you know, Izumo and I will be helping out during the exams, so you'll be up front on your own for a while without us," Kotetsu slaps the back of my flak-jacket fondly.
"That's fine by me. What's the worst that could happen?" I say lightlly.
"I suppose you're right," The spiky haired Chūnin agrees.
Famous last words…
I fucking hate snakes!
So far through my shifts without the Chūnin duo, everything had run smoothly, even when the Suna-Genin had arrived. The shortest one of the trio- the one with blood red hair made every nerve in my body stay alert for a full half an hour after I'd given them clearance into Konoha. The village had made it to the finals of the exams without a hitch or an ambush from the outside world; and I'd been booking Ninja's in and out of Konohagakure for missions and returns and what not. It had been quite relaxing actually; I was lucky to see about ten ninja per day or even less, so took to reading scrolls on Ninjustu I'd 'forgotten' after the 'attack' on my mission.
Then the snakes came.
That's where I was currently, sprinting through debris and snatching up a snivelling civilian child with a giant snake summon hot on my heels. Heart going ten to the dozen, I spot a group of fellow Leaf Nins up ahead, and chuck the child to them. Unhooking a kunai from the pouch on my hip and stupidly brandishing it in front of me, the snake summon stops in its offence to smirk down at me- one insignificant Kunoichi with a dodgy ticker and an overly glorified knife, trying to attack an established and did I mention HUGE summon easily ten times her size. Feeling desperate and wanting a chance at proving I could be a Ninja both physically and in my conflicted mind-set if I tried hard enough, instead of wimping out at last minute like I normally did, I slash out with my kunai, catching the outermost layer of the serpent's skin. The snake in question doesn't even flinch, instead swinging out its tail and wrapping me up in a death hug.
The cell of my colleagues aiding civilians cry out as it happens; the child I had rescued threw out a hand towards where I was situated, tears bumbling down his face. I was wondering what on earth he was crying for when it happened. Why they should be bothered with how pathetic I must look now? I also thought on whether Ibiki would hand my arse to me again for attacking solo rather than waiting for back up, and chastising me for being weak.
Watching them with all that rushing through my head, trapped inside coils upon coils of muscle constricting around me- tighter and tighter and tighter until something pops.
At least I got out of shopping with Ino..
I take it back, I hate queuing more than I hate snakes. Snakes are a close runner up though. Thinking about it, I don't like busses either- whatever they are...
"Next!"
I step up to the desk, thankfully at the front of a six hour wait in line- it had tested even my kunoichi trained patience, with a little gnome of a man sifting through piles upon piles of case files sat behind it. Man, his nose must be the size of Suna!
I know why when he starts picking at it. The thing inside of me kicks up a fuss, a small grumbling noise burbling through the remains of what was once my rib cage.
"Name?" He asks dully.
"Fujimoto Nanaho," The Kunoichi training kicks in and I answer coolly with a glare. My body is wobbling slightly due to the fact that my spine was crushed by the giant snake summon, and I shouldn't really be standing. It's medically impossible, but if my hunch is correct this is purgatory, so anything can happen. To prove my point, when I moved forward towards the desk I threw a quick look over my shoulder, spying one foot, with a lower calve struggling to stay attached directly behind me behind me. Medically impossible, I tell you...
"Back again then, huh?" he says, not looking up from what I presume is my file. What does he mean, 'Back again'? "Was that second life not good enough for you, Moira Stevens?" The Inner-Thing hums in amusement at his words.
Wait, so…? No way…
The gnome-like man sighs, picking up a large stamp and thumping it onto the closed front cover of a file, which I presume belongs to me. 'Heaven' can be read in big crimson block capitals when he places it on the top of another pile of files; they stack up with many others behind him like a miniscule fortress. "Up the stairs to my right please, Fujimoto-San," The gnome-like man mutters, throwing a thumb hastily over his shoulder to direct me.
I do as he asks, ascending the pearly steps and not stopping to look back.
"Next!"
EDIT 26.08.2017:
I had a quick look through this story after updating the cover beforehand, and decided to tweak in places and clear up any mistakes. If I've made more trying to correct them, please leave me a helpful PM.
As always, PM's and reviews are encouraged- and thank you for reading!
-Yuilhan
AUTHOR'S TRIVIA
1. The Latin meaning for Moira is 'fate' How ironic.
2. A famous racehorse that was 'spirited away'
3. The Devil sits on your left shoulder and the Angel on your right. It was believed that people who were left-handed had the Devil by their elbow, and Jesus is on the right hand of God.
4. A translation of Alderic's utterance reads as; "You must be the one Girvin mentioned?"
5. 'Girvin' means 'small rough one' in Irish.
6. First name; Nanaho (七帆 – Meaning 'Seventh sail'). Surname; Fujimoto (藤本 – meaning '(one who lives) under the wisteria' The wisteria is a variety of the pea family, native to North America and Asia, they flower in blue, pink or white and hang in clusters. In general the Wisteria flower means "warm welcome" and "playfulness", but it also can carry the meaning of "poetry", "youth" and "steadfast". Seriously, Google them, they're beautiful.
7. I love Alderic's character- that's essentially me not on a sugar rush. Feed me Skittles or Orange Juice, or both, and the hyperactivity increases tenfold. My friends love me on Monday mornings, because I'm not a ray of sunshine until about one in the afternoon, which in turn gives them time to wake up. For the rest of the week though, they're screwed~!
MUSICAL INSPIRATION
"I can't decide" – Scissor Sisters
"Niwaka Ame ni mo Makezu" ("Not giving in to the sudden rain") – NICO touches the walls
"Counting Stars" – One Republic
"Pop culture" – Madeon
"Distance" – LONG SHOT PARTY
"Latch"- Disclosure featuring Sam Smith (I listened to that during the editing process…)