Closer
There were three things that Roald thought he could never have – friendship, understanding, and freedom.
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He had sisters and brothers, of course, and 'companions' – the sons and daughter of nobles who though they could gain by trying to befriend the heir. But he'd always been aware that they were only being nice to him because their parents had ordered them to be, that they only gave him gifts because they wanted something back in return. So despite all the attention he was given, despite all the people who surrounded him, Roald had always been alone.
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Power is a double edged blade, as all rulers know. It is a delicate balance between control and compassion, peace and anarchy, life and death. His parents, his brothers, their friends; they all know it. But it is perhaps Roald who knows this best. For him, every day is a careful assessment of action and reaction, measured words and guarded actions. He knows that what he says and does one day can affect the beggars and the merchants and the nobles the next, and he wonders if it's the same for all the other princes in the world.
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He'd asked his mother once, what freedom was. She hadn't replied for a long time. When she did, she'd murmured something vague about running wild in the wind and being able to choose a future other than death. Then she'd smiled and returned to her work, and Roald had concluded that perhaps she didn't really know, either.
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Roald is older now; old enough to know that sometimes the impossible does happen and you can find something you never expected you would, and old enough to know that there are some things that you have to search for yourself.
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He knows that friendship is laughing and joking with Neal and Faleron and people who know he is the prince but don't care. Friendship is comfortable silence and words that don't need to be said. Friendship is knowing that someone misses you when you're gone and is waiting for you to come home.
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He knows that understanding is the way that Kalasin cries for him when he can't cry for himself. Understanding is talking late into the night with Shinko about everything and nothing. Understanding is how his mother suddenly hugs him and how his father sometimes meets his eyes and smiles.
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He still doesn't have freedom. He'd never really expected to. But then again, he already has friendship and understanding. And anything's possible.
end