When he looked at her, he found himself wishing they would never be saved. Wishing they would stay on the island forever. Because who knew what would happen when they were thrown back into the real world. Back into their old lives. He felt a pang of guilt and swallowed hard-his life, had not been very productive, that much he was certain of.
Definitely not productive enough for a tiny baby. He shook away the thought as soon as it entered his mind….perhaps he was moving too fast.
But still…He wanted to be in her life-THEIR lives. Both her's and the baby's. Always. Kids needed fathers, and right now that spot was wide open.
His worry broke through, what if…it was entirely possible that after such trauma and near loss, Thomas(he thought his name with contempt) could come running back to her. He could be right there to pick her up. In a don't-know-what-you-have-until-it-is-gone gesture.
Obviously, he didn't want that to be the case. Though, when he really thought on it, maybe he wouldn't blame her for running back to the father of her baby, whom she probably would be giving birth to while stranded on a desert island with an ex-junky holding her hand…
He had to stop. Stressful thoughts agitated him, and threw him back into longing withdrawal for a quick release. What he really wanted, more than anything, was to talk to her. He stood up and walked back to the caves.
She was asleep when he came up to her, though she didn't look very comfortable. Her wavy blonde hair was matted and stuck to her forehead and she kept making quiet noises, fidgeting. He knew the sleep well. The sweaty, uncomfortable kind-long sleep that produced no real rest, only woke you up more exhausted that you felt before lying down.
He sat down beside her slowly and leaned against the cave wall behind them. Making an executive decision to wake her up, he placed his hand lightly on her shoulder.
"Claire. Wake up luv." Despite the gentle way he spoke, she awoke with a frightened start. She threw up an arm for protection, but stopped midway through when she saw it was him.
He gave her a moment to collect herself, taking a few deep breaths and calming down. She slid up to where he leaned against the hard rock. Her body was warm and as she leaned into his side, he leaned right back.
"Thank you, Charlie, for waking me up. I was having a terrible dream…" She had let her head fall to rest on his shoulder and spoke easily in a relaxed safe tone.
His heart twisted. He wanted to hold her. All the time. He wanted to tell her he would always be there to wake her up, for every nightmare she would ever have. And the baby, too, for that matter. He wanted to protect them.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He slowly put one arm around her shoulders and held on a bit tighter. She did not pull away-if anything she moved a bit closer.
"I'd rather just forget it," She said softly. This time she really did move noticeably closer and snuggled more into his side.
He tightened his grip and respected her wishes. He didn't press her for details. He could hear her breathing slow and knew she was once more drifting off to sleep. Here. In his arms.
"Claire?" He wanted so much to hold her all night, but he knew her pregnant body would ache all day if she slept sitting in this position the whole time.
She didn't answer so he made a move to help her lay back down. But in the early stages of her slumber she stopped him and held on more tightly.
"No, Charlie." She sighed softly, "don't. I feel so safe with you."
Her voice, and the honesty in which she spoke with startled him. Seizing the moment, he wrapped both arms around her body-pregnant stomach and all.
"Then let's both lie down, luv." He whispered. She held onto him, as if for dear life and nodded consent into his chest where her head rested.
With no trouble or resistance they eased onto the flat ground. Sharing the one pillow Claire had taken from the airplane, they fell asleep wound tightly into each other's warm arms. Charlie had not slept so great since….well, ever. And Claire felt more relaxed than she had in the nine months since she'd gotten pregnant, abandoned, and lost.