Another Oneshot from Deadliving. It is too annoying, but here is my next one!
I have a list of them on my profile, so no need to waste space
Warning, contains references to the genocidal era of humanity, and alot of angsty subplots.
Giggles's 'An Inconvenient Truth'
Giggle waits anxiously backstage. Today was election day in Happy Tree Town, and it was her against Lumpy. The ballots were in and Toothy was consulting the talliers. He smiles, and walks up on stage.
"The votes are in," he bellowed, voice resonating through town hall. "The winner is," He squints to read the numbers on the paper. "Lumpy!"
Giggles hangs her head in shame. Petunia, her campaign advisor and running mate, places her arm over Giggle's shoulder. "There's always next year. And we'll be ready!" she assures.
Lumpy walks on stage, waving at the audience. He stops next to Toothy, and leans down to the microphone. "I thank the academy for this. I believe that those who voted for me are wonderful, kind caring people. Everyone else can go fuck themselves!' His watch beeps, and he puts on a hard hat. "Sorrry, I'm a construction worker. The fat chick can do what she wants." He says as he rushes out the door.
Giggles's face lights up. She jumps up on stage and begins rejoicing. She snatches the top hat and sash from Toothy's hand, smiling. She pulls the microphone from it's stand with tears welling up in her eyes. "I thank Petunia for helping me as a running mate, friend, contributer, and FWB. I thank Cuddles, also a friend, who encouraged me to aspire to the top, and Al gore for writing 'An Inconvenient Truth'. I also hereafter, will bring some important changes that will make Happy Tree Town a wonderful place!" The audience cheers exuberantly.
-Later, after being sworn in, and declared mayor...-
A camera sat on it's tripod, glaring at Giggles, who was giving an oration to the public. Two body guards, and Cuddles and Petunia stood at her side.
"It has come to my attention that Happy Tree Town has fallen behind National Average of Ecological Mutualism.
Constantinople, Philadelphia, Picher, and Kolmanskop are even beating our town in terms of eco-friendliness. For goodness sake, the latter two are abandoned, and the others are plain out grimy.
Now, we need to take baby steps into an eco-friendly existence.
Sleep naked, buy certain green-certified food, turn down your AC, carpool with friends, peers, fellow employees, or your whores.
These steps don't seem to be too bad, do they.
And one day, we will look back at my administration, and say 'Wow, we need to thank these people for their help.'
The camera turns off, and Giggles stands up. The guards, Petunia, and Cuddles applaud. "Wonderful speech!" they comment. Giggles curtsies.
"Now, I will see what my speech has said to the populace." she chirps happily. She walks out from Townhall, and sees trash, still piled up on the corners and adjacent to buildings. She grunts in disgust, "I can't believe there is this much shit, even outside Town Hall!" She glances around at the mountainous piles of rubbish, and tumultuous buzzing of flies. She sees the most imposing was the one outside Russell's resturant. She barges in, and winces at the sight. Lumpy, Fritz, and Disco Bear were sitting near the window. Disco inhaled a platter of spaghetti on a plastic plate, with a plastic fork. Fritz was tearing through steaks, corrndogs, hotdogs, chicken, bacon, and mutton. Lumpy was eating corn and fish, picking his teeth with a toothpick, then discarding it after one use. All three threw their trash and scraps out the window. Giggles stormed over to their table, and began yell at them.
"What the fucking hell, you faggot oncelors!" Giggles scolds.
"Fritz is the fag here, you got me confused with him!" Disco retorts. Fritz kicks him. Giggles hit both of them with Water balloons filled with eco-friendly hemotoxin. Both begin seizuring on the ground.
"All three of you, go clean up the trash you threw outside! Did any of you even see my address to the public?" she screams.
"I like the sleep naked idea." Cuddles smirks behind her. She hits him in the face with another water balloon. Everyone gasps.
"Did you seriously allow them to do this, Russell?" she asks, glaring at Russell, who was making trout from behind the counter.
"Yar!" he smiles, and is promptly hit with another balloon. She grits her teeth, and thinks for a moment. She leaves the resturant, with her bodyguards, and a frightened Petunia.
-The Next day-
Once again the Camera is up and running, but Giggles is dressed in black, and the blinding sunlight pours into the room. Only a quivering Petunia and her masculine bodyguards stand beside her.
Hereafter, I will be known as Exalted Giggles
Now, I have a plan to keep this town of ours safe for the environment, and I have named it;
The Final Solution.
It will solve our 'Chew, use and Spew' problem. I am immediately enforcing the one-child policy over this town. Hunting, Fishing and driving are not permited. I have also determined the groups wasting the most resources, and they are to be sent to refuse sites to clean the filth up;
Blue animals
Racoons
Rabbits
Bears
OCs
Perverts
Bisexuals
and Pagans
I repeat, if you are Bi, blue, a racoon, a rabbit, an OC, a pervert, or pagan, we will be coming to your house. Cars, Electronics, and Houses are to be cleanly removed from the town, Along with those filthy animals.
Littering Will not be tolerated anymore.
Abide by my Green rules, and you will not be persecuted.
Together this world will be a greener place. (Smiles)
Exalted Giggles
The bodyguards clap, and Petunia peeps up, "Exalted Giggles, I'm all for green and no dirt, but,"
"What is it?" Giggles asks in her sweet voice.
"I'm blue." she peeps timidly.
"Of course I will send you to a labor site. Yo may have been my running mate, best friend, and Friend with benefits, but that doesn't change the fact that you are a dirty blue polluter." She smiles. The guards lift Petunia up, and escort her to a tiny electric car.
Giggles leans back in her chair, satisfied by her sick actions.
-At the local Landfill-
Fritz, Lumpy, Cuddles, Petunia, and Flippy toil in Agony under the boiling sun. Petunia cringes as her pickaxe uncovers rotting food and unrecognizable bodily fluids. Lumpy leaps on a tire, trying to bury it, but it keeps rising to the surface. "I used to be Giggles's friend. Now look at me" Cuddles whines.
"Same. That bitch." Petunia quips.
Flippy swings his pickaxe and strikes a vein of chloric acid, which sprays in Fritz's face. Fritz grunts, then collapses from the acid eating away at his face. "What the hell, faggot!" Flippy grunts.
"I think it dead." Lumpy sighs. The tire he had buried, pops up, slicing off Fritz's head, and splitting Lumpy in half.
"Now it's dead." Cuddles retorts. Flippy glares at the blood spilling upon the ground, eyes twitching. Finally, Evil breaks loose. He snatches Cuddles, and strikes him repeatedly with the pickaxe. He lets the corpse fall to the ground. He turns to face Petunia, and smiles. Suddenly, A running blender is capped over Evil's head, and his deep screams are smothered quickly. Petunia looks to see who saved her.
Nobody was anywhere close enough to have done it. Petunia stood up and glanced around. She was in a trash dump, with four bloody corpses chained to her. She wings the pickaxe over her head, and disembowels herself.
Giggles sat in her office alone. She pondered to herself, what have I done? I sent my friends to labor camps, and aborted everything I used to care about. But, Giggles smiles. But, I have saved the Earth, for my children, there isn't anything more important than that! She thought aloud.
"There is a man here to see you." A guard calls.
"Let him in." She replies. The Mole walks in, spearing things on his cane, and placing them in a bag. "Ah, Mole, my master of espionage, you have implanted bombs in all electrical power plants in the nation. Good, now give me the plunger to destroy this land's scourg-" The Mole stabbed her threw the chest. He infact was the master of espionage. But he favored assassination over terrorism.
He left the room, and wiped the blood from his hands, silently he took out the real scourge of the land; A master of the inconvenient truth. The Master of memes.
This was probably my most disturbed story ever.
Nods to the Lucifer Principle here and there, but altogether drawn together by the story of the Anglo-Saxons conquering Britain, and enforcing their rules with rape and slaughter.
Wow I'm disturbed.
Just tell me to delete this story and you will never have to see it again.
Review. I have all the time I need.