A Bad Trip
It was a cloudy dawn. The sun had just begun to show over the hills, causing an eerie, gray light, illuminating the campsite Jesse and his friends set up the night prior. As the boys began to wake up, Jesse, who fell asleep masturbating to the thought of Ariana Grande's ass, was still in the middle of an amazing dream:
He's at a punk concert; he doesn't know what band is playing, but who gives a shit because they all sound the same, and he is walking towards the pit with a girl under each arm. Suddenly the lead singer stops and points directly at Jesse.
"Hey you," says the faggot, "Our bass player has just got the AIDS, how would you like the play with us?
"Oh heck yes!" says Jesse.
And as Jesse runs up to the stage, he slaps a girl's ass who immediately has an orgasm. When he finally reaches the stage, the lead singer, who's breath smells like pizza and Dr. Pepper, whispers in Jesse's ear:
"Wake up faggot."
Jesse opened his eyes to find his friend Trent leaning over him.
"Breakfast is ready." Trent said.
Although Jesse is mad at Trent for ruining his chance to play with a popular punk band, he cannot stay mad for long because he's secretly scared of him. Trent is a big guy, a small dude like Jesse wouldn't last that long in a fight with the guy. Jesse begins to scan his surroundings when he finds his friend Adam crying.
"Hey what's wrong Adam?" Jesse asked.
"He stepped on an ant while putting his shoes on."
Jesse looked over to Ryan, who quietly played his guitar while spiking his hair. He didn't expect a response from Ryan, mainly because Ryan tends to keep quiet when he's around his good friends. I wonder why…
"He's been crying since 5 o'clock this morning, I can't believe you slept through all that." Stated Ryan, as he lays out a Beatles jam. "And Karl isn't fucking helping."
As Ryan left to go get breakfast, Jesse looked over to Karl, the skinny blonde kid who thinks he is better than everyone else, and Karl, being the great friend that he is states, "Look I'm just saying that the ant he stepped on probably has a family, and a home, and wife and kids-" Karl was cut off by Adam hysterical sobbing.
"Ok Karl, shut the fuck up." Says Trent.
"I'm just messing around," said Karl with a shrug, "What are we having for breakfast?"
"Sausage and eggs I think." Trent replied.
"Eggs? We didn't bring any eggs…"
"Yeah well someone did because we found a pack outside this morning."
The hunger quickly took over Jesse when he remembered he didn't have any dinner last night because he was scared of the ghosts, so he walked outside and grabbed himself a plate of eggs.
Trent ate his plate of food very quick and told the guys that he was going to take a walk. As Trent walked off Adam finally exited the tent to get some food. Crying all the fucking time sure makes people hungry, huh? ;)
As Jesse finished the last bite of his eggs, he noticed a dark figure deep in the woods.
"Hey Karl, do you see that over there?" asked Jesse quietly.
"What, where?" And just as Karl said that, the figure grew a horrifying, white smile that stretched across its face.
"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK!" Karl screamed as he fell over his chair. The figure quickly disappeared as Karl stumbled back up.
"What? What happened?" The rest of the guys asked.
"Uh, I'm not sure, it was just some freaky thing standing out there and it smiled."
"It was probably just Trent messing with us." Stated Ryan, being the smart-ass that he is.
"Dude that did not look like Trent," said Karl, "It looked fat and had things hanging off its head."
By the time Karl said that, the whole group had forgotten about the whole situation and started a new conversation about Jack and Jill.
3 HOURS LATER
It was about noon when the guys realized Trent had been gone for a bit too long. Trent is not the type of guy to go on a 3-hour walk. The guys went out to go look for Trent, except for Karl because he just didn't feel like it.
They were walking for at least a couple hours when they found giant footprints… They knew they were on the right track. They followed to footprints to a large waterfall, but the tracks led right into the water.
"Is he in the water?" Adam asks.
"What you think Trent can swim?" Ryan replies.
Jesse, Adam, and Ryno wandered around the lake until they found a secret tunnel behind the waterfall. They entered the waterfall to find the tunnel goes in three directions. In the first tunnel, Adam can faintly hear what he thinks is a David Bowie song. Before the other guys can grab him, Adam sprints down the tunnel as fast he can to find the source of the "music."
"Fucking Adam." Says Ryan.
The second tunnel has a faint squeaking sound, as if someone were rubbing two pickles together, and the last tunnel had no sound at all. They two guys decide to head down the third tunnel because why the fuck not.
After about 5 minutes of walking they can see a dim light in the tunnel, then they could hear a strange squishing noise. They continued down the tunnel when they hear what sounds like horse. They finally reach the end of the tunnel, and there is a pink door at the end. Jesse opens the door and Trent's naked body quickly turns around and screams.
Jesse, in shock, looked around the room to find many life sized, my little pony sex dolls around the room. Trent quickly puts on his trousers and frantically says:
"I was just uhhh, queening my dishes!"
"Trent what the fuck," says Ryan.
As Trent attempts to explain himself, Adam walks through the door a gasps. He then went and whispered in Trent's ear:
"You went with out me?"
Trent shrugged as Ryan and Jesse walk out.
"Can you believe that?" Ryan said. Jesse just looked at Ryan and looked away.
Eventually Adam and Trent caught up to Ryan and Jesse and they all walked back to the camp.
On the way back, many things were going through Jesse's head, but he decided he wasn't going to talk about any of them because who the fuck knows.
2 HOURS LATER
Although it took quite a while, Jesse and the guys eventually made to bad to the camp to find that Karl is missing. As they wander around the camp they find many cracked eggs scattered across the dirt in the campsite.
"Do you think someone egged us and then kidnapped Karl?" Adam says as he begins tearing up.
"I'm not sure but it's starting to get dark, we need to find him quick or else he'll probably be lost out there." Ryno replys.
Jesse begins looking around again when he spots the smiling figure deep in the woods again, this time he noticed two bulging white eyes above the horrifying smile. Jesse gets Trent attention, but when he looks again, the figure is gone.
As it gets darker, the search for the all mighty Karl becomes hopeless, and they start to give up.
They were about to completely give up when they hear a 'Ah!"
Followed by another 'Ah!'
Finally followed by an 'AHHHH!'
'I believe, them bones are me.'
Jesse recognizes those lyrics anywhere…
"That has to be Karl!" Jesse thinks but doesn't say.
"What the hell is that?" Ryan says.
"I don't know but it's freaking me out, we should go inside the tent." Adam says.
The all gather inside the tent and wait in silence for about 10 minutes. Finally, Ryan states that he has to go pee.
Ryan steps out side and starts peeing. As the guys sat in silence listening to Ryan pee, they hear what sounds like a slap. Out of nowhere, Ryan screams followed by a loud crunch.
Jesse being the brave boy that he is ran outside to find Ryan on the floor covered in watermelon… dead. Jesse was about the say something when an egg fell on his head. Jesse slowly looks up to find a giant, mechanical egg with a small body hovering directly over Jesse.
Jesse quickly jumps out of the way before the egghead can squish him. Jesse starts to get up, and then get smacked by a huge white hand. He quickly falls to the floor and gets a mouthful of watermelon. Jesse looks up to see the dark figure with the scary smile and bulging white eyes.
Now Jesse is an edgy guy, but he has never before seen something with so much edge and so much-
The sight of the giant egg rolling towards Jesse quickly interrupted his thoughts. Jesse rolled out of the way, and while doing so kicked the giant egg as hard as he could in his head. The giant egg quickly cracked and spilt spaghetti all over the place.
Ryan: "Spaghetti?"
Trent: "It's a meme you dip."
Jesse was just about the say his first words since that morning when:
"WHAT THE HECK?" Karl screams as he runs out of the woods.
"I \23;'. Am ;]-\ Edtr0n" The cracked egg says as spaghetti spills all over the place.
Jesse and Karl quickly ran into the tent to find Trent comforting Adam.
"I'm so scared ;'(" Adam whimpers.
"Here eat this," Trent pulls out a bottle of Advil, "It'll help."
As the guys wait for their inevitable death, they hear what sounds like someone talking outside… almost like someone is rapping. They peek their head out the window to find their friend Vince playing the keyboard and laying down some rhymes. Then they see the dark figure begin to walk up behind Vince.
"Vince look out!" Adam yells out as he pours Advil down his throat.
But they guy notice… The black figure isn't going to hurt Vince, instead it is dance behind Vince.
Vince then looks towards the guys and says, "My side are gone."
Suddenly around them the tent starts spinning out of control, and Jesse finally says the first words in a while… "Cool."
The tent and the guys spin into what seems like an endless loop of fear, joy, and hatred all in one. The look up into the endless wormhole and see darkness.
Is this what it's like to die?
What is in the darkness?
Why now?
Then. Darkness.
I woke up on a couch, my head was spinning and I felt like I was gunna puke but I was going to be okay. I looked around as the wall breathe and the ceiling closes in on me; its almost as if I'm getting smaller as the room gets smaller. I look next to me and see my pal Jesse looking at me.
"Hey buddy you okay?" He says.
I have trouble forming words, its almost as my tongue is 100x bigger than usual.
"Ugh holy shit man that was crazy."
I look next to me a see a pipe and a lighter.
"God dam," I say, "I gotta tell every one I know."
"What was it like?"
"Trust me Jesse, this is the only thing I'll talk about for months."
THE END