I
Sound of Silence
Killing is about the only thing I live for these days. The act of committing it is not enough. I must breathe it, I must live it. I think the most joy one can get out of such an activity is to take a meek little mouse of a man, twist his brain just so and watch him commit atrocious crimes, killing with little regard for his own wellbeing. Yes, I have grown tired of killing people myself. Making people into my little puppets has so much more thrill in it, especially when I'm watching from afar.
Then again I certainly don't mind a kill now and again.
The world is filled with so much shit that it's almost impossible to wade through it. Doesn't mean that the world is made of it. You could say that the world is beautiful. However, before I teach you the ways of Lux-Pain, you must know this. Never. Let anything get in the way of your better judgement. Never. Not for the people you love, for helpless animals, nothing at all. That is the first mistake a person with our abilities can make. Our powers can be used to do so much, but what you don't know is that the way you use them determines the person you become. Even if you plan to use it for the purposes of good you MUST NOT go out of line. Obey the objective at all times. Ray calls Lux-Pain a blessing. It is a curse, and it will turn you into a shell of what you used to be if you do not show restraint. That is my only rule – be mature about your powers, and you will become all the more stronger for it. Do you understand? Good. Now lets' begin.
I wake up to the sound of silence. It always gets me awake. I don't need any alarms or the sunlight or anything. I just need… to be ready to get up. And I am always ready for another day in completely despair. The amazing thing is that 'that' is what I always wake up thinking, every day. I guess you could say I like to put a lot of things into perspective, which is more than I could say than for who I was a few years before.
I get out of bed, or more appropriately I roll out of bed. I stagger to the closet and grab some clothes out. Anything that I can find really – I don't like to be overly fashionable. It's not exactly the way I attract attention anyway. My loose grip on my clothes forces them to drag along as I stumble to the bathroom. I don't take a really long shower, just in and out. I'm quiet as I shower with only the sound of the showerhead to keep me company. The shower doesn't calm me at all. Brushing my hair in front of the mirror and putting eyeliner on doesn't do this either. I calm down once I wrap a tie around my neck. This is when I become me. The tie is black and red, the colors twirling together like a candycane, in this gothic mix that seems to describe me more than any words could. It's my favorite and I always make sure to put it on.
I look down at the tie and I smile slightly. My tie always puts a smile on my face. I thought it was just cute when I got it but now it's grown on me. I am the tie now – the tie wears me. The rare smile that was on my face quickly disappears when I notice that I am now looking at the girl on the other side of the glass.
"What are you looking at?" I tell that scowling bitch, feeling the need to break her nose. "You piece of shit. You're a monster. Get out of here. "
She doesn't leave. I turn and close the door to the bathroom behind me.
Once I get down stairs. My mother is laying on the futon in the living room, her eyes closed. Whenever I see her like this, it annoys me like nothing else. I know that she's just pretending to be asleep and I have a sneaking suspicion that she knows that I know. I bet she also knows that I will never do anything about it, because I wouldn't have the nerve to talk to her that way. It makes me feel sick to my stomach when I see her acting like this. She's been like this ever since dad died but I was eleven at the time, but I was crying my eyes out and I got over it somehow. She was just being a lazy slob. I rolled my eyes. I don't say anything to her, and I just walk on.
My sister was already in the kitchen, making breakfast. I sometimes felt sorry for her. She is always smiling when I'm in the room, like she's happy but I know that she is not. I love my sister like any sibling should but she is sad deep down. Sometimes I wish she would smile for real. Some sign that she is truly happy but this never comes. She notices me as I pad inside, and she bears that same smile as always and I manage to force one. For her at least.
"Good morning," I say, my voice dry and hoarse.
"Good morning!" She says cheerfully. That mask of hers is on tight right now. I just wish she would just open up to me now. I would stay home and listen to all of the thoughts running through her head, all of her failed aspirations and her problems and why all those thoughts that I see run through her mind. She could cry in my shoulder. Maybe I would cry too, I don't know. Anything to just let me show that what I had first read this morning was a lie. More than anything, I just want to feel something that isn't disgust.
I just sit down. I don't say anything else. My sister notices this and lunges at me like a worried mother.
"Are you feeling alright?"
She frowns, feeling my forehead with her hand. "Are you sure you're alright? You look very pale."
"It's alright sis, really." I blink. "I'm fine, seriously. I don't want you getting upset about anything that isn't true."
My sister blushes, nodding her head. "Yes… yes, I understand. I know that you're fine but… I don't know. I know the things that go on in high school and, well, it's not a crime for one sister to be worried about another right?"
I smile at her. No matter how much she would fake her own smile, I know that she cared about my wellbeing. She loved me. I reassure her that I'm fine nonetheless. Just hide my own feelings. That's what I had to do if only to make her happy. "I know Yayoi. If there's anything on my mind, I'll make sure to tell you."
Yayoi beamed at me, leaned over across the table and kissed me on the forehead. "Good. You're the only thing that I have left in this world so… I'm sorry if it seems like I'm crushing you sometimes."
"You don't have to apologize…" I shake my head. "Really, stop it."
"I know." She patted my head and then drew me into a big hug. "I love you Nami."
I break her nose as I slam her face into the ground. She lets out a squeal in pain and I soak it in as best as I can because let's face it, we all enjoy causing pain. It's a human instinct to shiver in pleasure as we make people scream. The bitch grumbles loudly as I hold her down, cursing and spitting but I let out a huff. For a small girl, she certainly wasn't giving up on escape. I like the rebellious ones.
"Now now." I told her, running a hand around her puny neck. "Don't start. Or I'll rip your throat out with my bare hands."
She settles down for only a second, and I pounce. A cold wave of calm runs though her and I chuckle under my breath as I get up. She wasn't going to give me any more trouble.
"Oh… you've been a naughty girl haven't you?" I chuckle. "Been sticking your nose into places it shouldn't be. Well I've taken the liberty of breaking your nose in half so it won't be a nuicance."
She doesn't respond. I smirk. "Roll over." She does so. "Sit up, and stay still. Like a good girl." She does this obediently, perfect for me since this proves to me that I was successful. "Good girl." I crouch down on one knee so I'm staring her straight in the eye.
"You know why I brought you here? The place where this all began? Why, don't you already know you stupid whore? You've dug yourself too far and you are asking ME to let you out. Well here's some news for you hun – that isn't how this 've seen things that you shouldn't have seen. But you're wondering how I know this? You wanna know how I know?" I press the knife in my hand against my temple. "It's because I just KNOW. I just know… and I could go into specifics but… I think it's a waste of breath. Just know that I found you sneaking cookies from the cookie jar and now I'm going to cut you…"
I grinned at her. "Well that's not entirely accurate." I hold the blade edge of the knife out to the girl and smirk. "Now this is what I want you to do. I want you to take the knife in your hand and hold it tightly. And then once you do that, just press it tightly against your tiiiny neck and move it back and forth. Very slowly too… think you can handle that?"
The girl took the knife and pressed it the same exact way I told her to but… she hesistated. This got me rather annoyed with her.
"Why are you stopping?" I growl. "Cut yourself up! Do it now!"
She stares at me. She mutters something.
"What?" I glare, leaning in. "What did you say?"
"…S-Saijo… will… find you…"
I laugh. "Well I'll kill him too if this 'saijo' does find me… now cut."
The man with the gun was mad. That much was clear. If it weren't for the wild blonde hair covering his petite-sized face, he would be as easy to read as a children's book printed in large letters. The red in his cheeks and the craze in his eyes only exemplified this notion. One may think that the man with the gun had lost his sanity. This wasn't true, he still had it. He was just mad. Mad at… what exactly? This wasn't for certain. Even the man with the gun didn't know either.
The gun in the man's hand was pointed in a slant, down onto the back of a young woman's head. The black metal of the gun, a Taurus Millennium, was cold in his grip. It was heavy but the hand held it steady against the head in front of him. A finger close to the trigger. Loaded. Ready. Ready for what? The man with the gun wasn't sure of this either.
The woman with the gun against her head, a scared brunette with large cartoonish eyes and even more grand buckteeth, thought she knew what the man was ready for. For his demands. To be in control. And while this was part of his plan, it certainly did not circumface the fact that he had no plan and that he had no problem with killing her in cold blood. Tears were running down her cheeks. The cold metal against her head sent shivers along her spine, and it made her quiver like a scared child. Her breathing, jagged. Her hands, tied around her back. Her eyes, staring at the stain on the floor that was most certainly blood.
The two of them had been there for over two hours, sitting on the ground. No windows, no escape. The only escape in the general area was a door down in the lower area of the building, and that had to be packed with cops with guns the size of forearms, ready to shoot down anything that even so much as lightly tapped that door. The man was not thinking of this. He did not think of his own safety, but moreover something even more sadistic. He was thinking of nothing at all.
He was ready.
Ready for what? While he didn't know what, he knew he was ready to blow the cunt's head off if she did any funny shit. She didn't start anything to piss him off, except of course gab that big mouth of hers.
"My legs are asleep. It hurts…"
"Shut the fuck up."
"Please, j-just let me lay down at least."
"I SAID shut the fuck up you bitch!"
"Please…"
"If you don't shut your mouth this instant I will drill a hole so big you could fit a pipe in there!"
The woman grew quiet again, but just as she did one of the loudspeakers chirped in. "Louis?" it cracked.
The man with the gun perked up. He looked towards the security camera pointed right at him, a sneer crossing his face. "Yes. What is it?"
"Louis, we need you to put the girl down, slowly."
The man didn't speak at first, looking back down at his hostage with an even larger sneer than he had before. He looked back at the camera and growled. "Ain't no way I'm doing that you dirty pig. Only way I'm getting out of here is on a plane to Russia, or America. Where ever the fuck. Doesn't matter to me."
"We're trying to get that for you, but what we need –"
"Hah. You're talking to a damn brick wall lassie."
All was quiet for a moment. Then the speaker sprung into life again. "Louis? Louis. We are going to send someone up to speak to you Louis. Someone who wants to talk to you."
The man snorted. "No way in hell. You do that and I'll fill this bitch's head with lead! I-I'll fucking do it! Don't make me do it!
"He will be unarmed Louis. Just one person. He wants to talk to you."
The man with the gun let out a growl like a dog and bit his lip roughly. "Fuck no. FUCK no."
"He just wants to talk Louis."
"How should I even trust you? For all I know you could be sending up a whole team to get me!"
"We don't want to put you or the hostage in danger. Trust me."
The man with the gun stayed quiet for a moment, a long moment that hung in the air like a fog. The woman kept quiet. The man finally spoke. "Sure, whatever, but I'm watching you. If I smell anything suspicious, then this girl is getting her head blown off."
All was silent then. The girl cried silently on the floor and the man stood there without a word. He was watching the opening leading to the stairwell, his gun still against her head. Soon enough the sound of a door opening echoed through the halls and a single pair of footsteps slipped up, slowly, vibrating from the thin walls. The man with the gun tightened his grip to the point where it almost hurt, keeping track of where those footsteps where. He could hear that the negotiator was at about the top of the stairs, turning the gun to where the shadow of the man was. "Hands up," he growled.
The negotiator at the top looked a lot younger than the man with the gun had anticipated. Ash-hair lined the length of his forehead like a black bowl, the callicks at the front slanted upwards just enough to see his eyes. His face was thin with youth, pale, clear of blemishes or even freckles. He looked like a ghost in that respect except for those deep eyes. No dead man would have such thick eyes. The man with the gun stared as the boy stepped closer. The aim of his gun kept still. The boy didn't have his hands up.
"Hey! Hands up!"
The visitor's eyes were half open. He sighed. "Don't need to yell. Calm down." His hands slid up.
"Don't tell me what to do," the man barked at the boy.
The woman on the floor mouthed something to him, and the man with the gun saw this. He pulled the pistol back to her head. "The fuck did you just say?!"
The girl squealed. "N-Nothing."
"Sounded like something to me! Don't lie to me! Don't you ever lie to me!"
"I-I…" She slumped. "I-I-I'm not…"
"You better not be lying to me you bitch."
Her eyes welled up again, the blood caught in the back of her throat causing her to cough violently. "I know, I know, I'm sorry!"
The boy kept quiet all this time, and the Man tuned back to him. "So what? Are you getting the shit I asked for?"
The negotiator kept silent. "Yes. Yes we are."
"The tickets?"
The boy took a step forward. "Heading for America, yes."
The man shook. "Stay the fuck back. I'm warning you."
The boy took another step forward. "I'm not armed. You need to calm down. I'm here to help you."
"The fuck you are. Stay back!"
But those eyes…
Thoooseee eyessssss…
The hostage situation had lasted for about five hours and it only took me a minute to diffuse it. A regular silent infectee does not put up much of a resistance as far as external forces are concerned. I would like to think that they, the police handling these types of situations, would want someone like me to come along and clear these sorts of problems up but unfortunately the existence of Silent is as well accepted as the existence of vampires. Of course one may attribute vampires as similar to the way Silent work. Silent feeds of people in the exact same way. Enough of that though.
The man, named Louis deCarmo, had entered the post office at about 5 PM with a shotgun (A sawed off wellington as I was informed) and a pistol. Killed about five people, wounded seven others and physically took one hostage at the second story of the building. About five hours later he relented.
They called me in at about 8 PM. I was sent up after 9 PM, and the job was finished one minute afterwards.
Another successful job though for a minute I was anxious. Guns always make me paranoid, not to mention a little claustrophobic. Especially, Especially when they are pointed at me.
I left the scene as quickly as I could. The first rule of the FORT: Do not get attached. This is an unspoken rule but it's as obvious as any other rule. Attachment to the victims is hard for me though. Which is why I leave as quickly as I can. My heart is hard to do this, but not hard enough to not look back. I always look back.
And I never give my real name.
Yui Yamase had the time of her life.
This was almost impossible for her to admit. Yui was always a tough nut to crack. Very blunt and always focused on her job, her position as Chief of Police was one she fit in perfectly. No bullshit, no corruption, just as any chief of police should be. This changed once she got some alcohol in her system. If Yui got a taste of wine or a sip of cola, she became a changed woman. She was playful, flirty at times and always laughing. One of her coworkers might call her a lightweight, but they would have to look behind them just to make sure she wasn't behind them first. Getting drunk was one of Yui's guilty pleasures.
Tonight she didn't need drinks. Harashino Hiro was enough.
Yui Yamase, the chief of police, hated the press out of sheer nature. The press in general were leaches, always looking for information off the record. They even discussed Yui's openness for the open-end of a rum bottle during a slow day, which only fueled her contempt for the press. Hiro was different. He was charming, handsome and had the most dynamic personality she had ever met. He was the kind of man who would open the door for an elderly woman, but would make a twisted joke about innocent things. Once he pointed to a metal statue of a rooster and asked if she would like him to "buy a metal cock."
"No," she held in her laughter, "I wouldn't have anywhere to put it."
"Make room for it then! Everyone needs a metal cock." He grinned. "If my old cock didn't satisfy me the way it does now I would totally by that. The thing isn't big enough though.
Yui wasn't sure why she had laughed as hard as she had. She never liked dirty jokes, but Hiro had the ability to make her laugh at things she normally wouldn't.
And tonight was amazing too. They went to a nightclub because, hey, they were free. So why not? They laughed, they danced, and not an ounce of drink. They had stayed out late and called a cab to take them home. Yui and Hiro arrived back at her apartment, a spacey one-bedroom affair that was as classy as Yui had hoped for. Hiro was giggling as he stumbled in with her in tow, rubbing at his eyes. Yui couldn't help but laugh as well.
"Greatest night I've had in a long time," he said over and over between his jagged pants for air.
Yui didn't respond as she found her way out of his grip, locking the door behind her. Hiro fell against a sofa, clutching his face as he laughed. Yui turned and shook her head. "You're still laughing?"
"I know! It's like I've swallowed some b-b-butterflies," he chortled. "Are you sure you didn't slip anything to me?!"
"Not a single thing."
"Good! If you had I would call the cops on you, cuz' clearly you're insane and abusing your power!"
"Ohoho." Yui flipped her orange hair back, brushing it away from her eyes with her fingertips. "Very funny." She went to the cabnet and opened it up. Hiro was finally beginning to calm down as she brought out the bottle of rum. She poured a glass for him, and he chuckled.
"A chief of police drinking? For shame Yui."
"Oh please," She pressed the champagne glass into his hands. "Just drink it."
"Why should I?" He asked, looking down at the rum and spinning it around in the glass.
"It's my favorite," Yui said while pouring herself a glass. "I always go out of my way to have a bottle in my cabinet at all times. It's not going to turn you into stone so just try it."
"I don't know. I'm just not an alcohol sort of guy." He shrugged. "You of all people should know that."
"Oh just try it." She said, shaking her head. "Or I'll give you something to complain about."
"Is that supposed to mean something?"
"I don't know. What do you think it means?"
"Iunknow. That's why I asked."
She shook her head and clinked her glass against his. He kept quiet as she sipped. She stared at him. "Hey, what's wrong? You're so quiet." She leaned in. "You look so pale…"
He looked up at her, staying quiet. "Ahh, jeez Yui. We've been going out for so damn long. "
"And we have fun, right?"
"Of course. But, y'know, you always… look… well…"
The phone rang. Yui let out a loud groan. "Damn it…"
"You know," Hiro purred, "I didn't even know that phone worked!"
Yui shook her head and placed the glass down on the coffeetable. "It does but I always take calls on my cellphone. Who could be calling me at this hour?"
"Maybe you should go check?"
Yui sighed. She couldn't just ignore it, should she? She walked over to the phone, waving Hiro back to the drink as she picked up the receiver with one hand. She pushed the head of the phone to her ear and cleared her throat. "Hello?" She looked down at the picture on the coffeetable. The woman, purple-haired and happy, was staring right back at her. That smile on her face looked like a disappointed glare. Yui quickly pushed the photo down on the table where she couldn't see it. "Yes, this is her."
This was when her night took a turn for the worse.
The building placed in the middle of an abandoned field does not exist. There are no building documents of it's existence nor is there anything in the newspapers or even any papers that could ever link the acres of land that it is built upon. It does not exist at all. It exists physically in real life, but to the public and even most of the government it does not exist. That's all there is to it. Even if you were to make the case that it does exist (which in fact it does but at the same time does not) you may just write it off as just a boring manor in a boring part of England. The mansion itself is not elegant at all, resembling more as a square box than a house. It is unremarkable, completely grey and to great relief very indistinguishable. We would be out of a job if it were to stick out in any way.
As always the car driving me stops right in front of it, almost too close to the stoop. I open the door and find that we've parked almost on top of the first step. I don't say anything but deep down I want to. This guy was going to drive into a tree at this point. I just close the door to the car and walk up the staircase.
On the inside it looks like any home. I've always found it strange in just how commonplace the mansion was. There is only the bare minimum of furniture placed all around and the rugs are as grey as the walls on the outside. The whole atmosphere of the home is the color grey – melancholy and depressing with only a hint of boredom. If you were to ask me I would have no reason as to why it was built in such a way. You would then ask why in all the places in the wide world I would ever work in this place. It's so dreadful. I wouldn't answer you, but you must go through the chimney to fully understand.
I step into the parlor room and as always I flick the florescent light from above off. The only light that illuminates the room is the light coming from the fire in the chimney. The chimney is the only interesting thing in the parlor room, quite an obvious place to put a secret passageway. The panel used to open it is not in plain sight. For one to open the passage, they would have to stick their hand into that very same fire. It's all smoke and mirrors, for there is really no fire in the chimney. Once you do that, you press the button on the other side.
The doors to the elevator open up after that. The elevator is cramped and cold, big enough to only hold four people at a time. The ride downwards is long and your head spins as you step off, but it's only natural when you're riding an elevator deep into the ground.
I step onto it backwards with my back turned away, clicking the button leading down. I close my eyes and breathe. The near-silent sound of the elevator descending the only company I had.
"I heard about your last job."
I opened my eyes. "You have?"
"I hear everything that goes on. How long have you been here? You should be aware of that by now."
"I am aware of that."
I don't turn back to face Liu Yee. I wouldn't really need to – he always looked the same. Paler than I was, his hair slicked back, his eyes small. Always wearing a red vest with khakis. Looking at me as an equal rather than an underling, which is more than I can say for many others. His voice however shows some sort of dissatisfaction. An emotion, something you don't see coming from him.
"You were sloppy. Rushing in like that."
"He had a gun pointed at someone's head. I was putting her first ahead of everything else at the time."
"Yet you were sloppy. Even so he could have easily killed her from that risk you seemed so willing to take." He paused. "I won't deny that it was a good job though. Very quick."
"Thank you."
"I would be quite surprised if you don't get promoted for this."
"I," I reply, "will never get promoted."
"I already know this. However, I must confess that I feel that your powers are not being used to their full potential. It seems like they're wasting your talents."
"No, no they are not." I shook my head. "Liu. The FORT as a whole does not approve of me. They think I am useful. The best agent they have, they tell me. The chief goes out of his way to commend me as such. You even compliment me. However, the FORT as a whole though does not approve of me. I cannot fathom why."
"Perhaps," Liu Yee glared, "you are too immature."
"Perhaps?"
"Perhaps."
"I don't think it is that. They promoted you when you were thirteen."
"That was many years ago."
"Even so," I concede, "that still doesn't change the fact that I've given my body and soul to the FORT and they do not appreciate that. I'm surprised that the chief even commends me the way he does."
"You are a useful agent of the fort. I should not be speculating on your faults and, in that same light, you should not do the same."
"I know."
The elevator finally arrived. Liu Yee let out a silent grunt and placed his hand on my shoulder. "You are a part of the FORT Saijo. Your efforts are appreciated. I cannot speak for the chief in this case but even though the whole of the FORT is against you, it may bring you piece to know that he is on your side."
I turn my head. "Thank you."
He does not show any emotion. He just lets go of me and without a word disappears. I sigh and step out of the elevator into the dim exterior of the FORT headquarters.
My name is Atsuki Saijo. And this is my home. The FORT.
Author's Note
Oh yeah. I'm feeling great right now. Just wrote this in a few days, I'm on a roll. Seriously I've had alot of fun writing the first chapter. Just a warning though - I might move this onto another profile, one that reflects who I am in the now. If that makes any sense. Lord knows it makes no sense to me.
Okay, now that the chapters over, how'd it go guys?