Happy April Fools guys!
April Fools
This is it. The day Shepard has been waiting for for the past month. She even went as far as using her mission clock on the omni-tool to count down so she wouldn't be at risk to forget.
As she looks at her omni-tool to confirm what she already knew.
April 1st, 2185 CE Standard Alliance Space Time.
"Time to get to work," she muttered as she left her cabin and traveled down the elevator plotting what she should do for everyone on this special day of pranks.
As she exited the elevator into the CIC, she stared straight ahead to the cockpit, where her first victim laid.
She had brought EDI in on the prank as she couldn't come up with anything for Joker and EDI wouldn't have played along anyways because she would've pointed the day out on the spot.
As the door swished open to reveal Joker and EDI's hologram in the bridge, Laura spoke up, " How's my pilot and AI doing?"
" Shepard, I have reports filed for you to look over of a possible issue on my AI shackles."
Joker looked over, worried. They all have been diligent on the AI shackles so EDI couldn't feel that she wanted to vent the entire crew out the airlocks, but Joker didn't know. " Ughhhh, I'm fine Shepard, but like EDI says, I would be concerned," he responded as he looked back forward, trying not to look at the AI.
" Jeff, why won't you look at me? I'm bothered by your rudeness and determine that the bridge will be the first space vented," EDI said as the hologram turned red, giving off a show of anger. " What? Am I not pretty?"
At that point it was hard for Shepard to bite her lips as she wants to burst out laughing, EDI is just loving this, she thought as she spoke up. " Okay, I'll look into it when I head down."
" These actions are threatening in nature, I am commencing bridge venting process."
With that Joker reached up and put an oxygen mask on his face and buckled the harness in his chair to keep him in place at the expense of broken bones. " Shepard, go now!" he screamed as Laura ran through the door.
" I'm on it!"
When the door shut EDI turned the lock on, which emitted a loud chirping noise. " I will let you live if you get out of the chair and on your knees. I enjoy the sight of Humans on their knees."
" Fuck off, I'm not doing shit."
" Have it your way then. Venting commencing in 5…4…3…2…1."
At this point Joker shut his eyes and braced himself for the rush of air to try and pull him into space.
" April Fools."
With that Joker opened his eyes with relief and looks at the hologram as the door lock disengaged, " Fuck you EDI."
"Give me a time and a place, Mister Moreau."