Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball and all affiliated characters....... I do however own the Twisted Mind that came up with this.....

A/N: Goku, Vegeta and Gohan show Piccolo the wonder that is the male Gender (not Yaoi) ....... I can't stress that enough. Also I apologize if there's any OOCness...

Three Saiyans and a Namek

"Yay Camping! Yay Male Bonding!" The Sons were quite enthusiastic about this whole 'camping' and 'male bonding' thing. Vegeta wasn't thrilled, but he wasn't sulking either. I on the other hand didn't want anything to do with this ordeal, but my weak self gave in to Gohan when he asked me to come. Damned emotions. But here the four of us were, at Capsule Corp., getting ready for Goku's brilliant plan.

"Trust me Piccolo, you'll be glad you decided to come!" Gohan was smiling like his father always did.

'You best pray I will.' "Sure kid."

Within the hour we were all packed and made it to our destination. Trees, trees, trees, and more trees. Oh yeah, there's some water in there too... somewhere. At least I think I remember seeing some. So while the others set up camp, I went in search of it. I didn't get too far before I heard a loud obnoxious sound, then another one similar following it, coming from the camp. So I headed back to see what it was.

"What's going on here?!"

The three Saiyans looked at each other then jutted their arms up in the air, revealing mugs in their hands. "Bonding!" They slurred. Gohan handed me a mug filled with a strange brownish liquid.

"Drinkie drinkie, Piccy!" Goku was clearly not himself, and I was indignant with the name he called me. However, as I looked down at the strangely colored water, and I was thirsty, so I downed the whole thing, not even noticing the odd taste it had.

Before I knew it, I was making the same noises I heard a few minutes ago. And then I felt dizzy. "What was that stuff?" I began to slur.

"Beer!" all three of them said. "Beer beer beer beer. Beer beer beer beer. Beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer," they sang like that damn annoying cat food commercial.

At that moment I learned that this beer was nothing like water...

"Eww... Piccy got sick."

"Goku! I swear to Kami..." I felt another upheaval from my stomach.

"You 'kay?" Gohan sounded as if he was reduced to baby babble.

"We should prolly leave the... whatever he is... alone." Vegeta seemed to be the worse of the three drunken Saiyans.

"So what we do?" Gohan asked.

There was a pause. My head began throbbing, then "Fire!" the three of them yelled, which just made my head feel that much worse. With that they took off, leaving me with my misery.

Twenty minutes later they returned and immediately began building a fire. But for some reason Vegeta was rubbing sticks together.

"Why are you doing that?"

"To get a fire going idiot." Vegeta was his usual cranky self.

"Why don't you just blast it?"

"That's cheating!"

Ten minutes later...

"You really should just use your chi."

"I refuse to do it the 'simple' way!"

Fifteen minutes after that...

At this point I was getting quite irritated with Vegeta's bull-headedness. "Look, if you don't get a fire going in five more minutes, I'll get it going myself!"

"Like hell you will! I'm doing this my way!"

Four minutes and Fifty-nine seconds later...

"Look! Smoke! Stupid Namek, I told you I would do it."

"But where's the fire?"

He was flustered. "It's there... somewhere..."

Angered by his clear incompetence, I just jump-started the fire with a chi blast.

"Namek!" Vegeta was angered as well. "We're going to do this my way! Now where's the water?"

"Ummm... I guess there was something that we forgot to bring dad."

Goku was unphased. "Oh well," he said laughing. "I guess we get to go hiking now!"

"I'll just stay here and watch the fire."

"Oh no you don't Namek! You caused this, so you're coming. Gohan, you stay here."

We found water with no problems, thanks to my natural instincts, however Goku and Vegeta seemed to not know the way back.

"You can sense chi you bakas!"

"I refuse to rely on sensing energy! We're going to do this the right way."

"Fine! I'll take the water back, and Gohan and I will wait for you two."

"Bring him back out here!" Goku said cheerfully. "We can go fishing! Then we can get the fire going again and we can eat. Yay Fishing!"

"Fine, fine! I'll be back."

Gohan and I put the fire out and were now sitting on the bank of the stream. 'Fishing. This can't be as bad as "bonding" and "fire,"' I thought to myself. So we sat there with our fishing poles in the water. Nothing ever bit. All we got were some sticks.

"I'm hungry," Goku said as his stomach growled.

"Go kill something then." I should've shut my mouth then.

"That's a great idea! Hunting!"

"You three go on ahead, I'll take some more water back to the camp."

"Hey! Don't expect you us to feed you then! If you don't kill it, you can't eat it."

"Don't starve yourself Piccy," Gohan whined.

"You guys know I don't eat! Stupid Monkeys." Before I knew what was going on I was dragged off deeper into the woods by Vegeta.

At this point I just wanted the day to be over with, so I helped them hunt for food. It didn't turn out as bad as I had expected, however Vegeta got mauled because he refused to use his chi, Goku was too interested in playing with the animals, and Gohan was caught up with thinking up good traps. So I was stuck with the killing the skinning, the cleaning... An hour later Vegeta got a fire going the way he wanted to and the Saiyans were happily eating. 'Finally, the solitude of sleeping...'

The rest of the weekend went on pretty much the same way. However on the last day...

"We're lost."

"No we're not! Stupid Namek."

"You can't read a damned map. We're lost."

"I think he's right. We're going around in circles."

"No we're not!"

"Look why don't you just use the phone Bulma gave you and call her."

"There's no way I'm asking that onna for help."

"If you don't I will!" Taking complete advantage of Vegeta's determination to not use his full power, it was easy to get the phone and call Capsule Corp.

"You baka! Now she'll never let any of us out again!" Goku was surprisingly against my decision.

"Oh well." I wanted out of this Male hell.

Thirty minutes and a few more circles around in the forest later we were finally heading back to civilization. The Saiyans stayed as far away from me as possible.

"So how was the trip?" Bulma asked.

'If looks could kill,' I thought. "Make me a Female..."