Disclaimer: I don't own bleach or its characters. This was based off of Jhene Aiko's For My Brother, which I do not own.
"I know."
Those words haunted Gin as he sat in his bed. He had woken up just a little earlier, but he almost wished he hadn't. He wished he had just died. Then the adorable little captain would still be here, telling Matsumoto to stop drinking and do her paperwork, doing his paperwork, training and going to the captains meetings. Gin hadn't believed Unohana when she had told him that half his heart had been infected, but the adorable little captain had given him his. But then Unohana had left, and when she came back with a depressing aura, he had known something was wrong. That was beyond unusual, so he followed after her at her order without complaint. When he had seen the adorable little captain propped up on his pillow, pail and weakly smiling, the smile had slipped off his face and he had rushed to the little captains' side, asking if he was ok. The adorable little captain had kissed his cheek and smiled and told him those haunting words. And then the little captains' gentle lids had slid shut for the last time, never to reveal their intelligent hues ever again. Gins throat caught at just the thought. The adorable little captain had died for him, so he could live, and he knew. They were brothers.
Rangiku came a few days' later, dark smudges under her eyes, tear tracks running across her face. She held up what appeared to be a letter. Gins eyebrows rose and he forced his usual smile. "Oh, I got a secret admirer?" He chuckled, but even to him it sounded dry. "No," Rangiku answered, her voice flat and hoarse-most likely form crying-with a small frown. "It's from Captain, and it's addressed to you." Gin instantly held out his hand, and Rangiku handed him the letter and fled. Gin ripped open the letter expectantly. He glanced to the corner of the letter and noticed that the little captain had scrawled the date down. If he thought about it, the date was the day… the little captain had died. Gin hesitantly looked to the letter again and started to read.
'Dear Ichimaru Gin,
I'm going into surgery soon. I'm going to be giving you my heart-quite literally- and I confess to being nervous. After all, this is death we're talking about, and no one wants to die. If you're reading this, though, it must mean that the surgery was a success and you're awake. I'll have you know I've been waiting a year to see your sly smile again. I missed you. And yes, I probably said something confusing and stupid to you through my drug haze before I died. I know how predictable I am. So, I'm going to clear something for you. I remember.
I remember every time you would hold me and kiss my forehead and say I was a miracle. I remember every time you would let me have piggy back rides into town. I remember every time you would buy me sweets with the money you were supposed to use for your own food. I remember every time you would kiss the scrapes I got from being pushed around or from tripping, how you would wrap them tenderly. I remember every time we would swing together, or when you would push it gently when we both needed our space. I remember when you started leaving and I remember how worried I was. I remember every time you would come home wounded severely, but you would smile and be strong for me. I remember every time you would come home with sweets and a smile, wounded to the point you could barely stand, how you would hug me and apologize for leaving me alone for so long. I remember you being my whole world, and me being yours.
I wish I had more time to talk to you, to say how much I missed you, to say sorry for the things I've said to you in the past, no doubt hurting you, but I don't. It's almost time for the surgery, and I'm excited along with being nervous. It's my turn to hold you up. With all the things I don't have time to say, I had to choose carefully. The thing that was most important to me that I remembered was you. I remembered how we were brothers. Don't blame yourself when I die, because it's worth it to see you healthy and well, even if just for a little before I go. Don't give up on yourself, because I didn't give up on you.
Live a long and happy life Onii-chan – Hitsugaya Toshiro for the last time'
Before Gin was aware of it, tears were sliding down his face. A wry smile tugged at his lips as he reread the letter. He covered his face with his hand for a minute, composing himself. Toshiro Hitsugaya had called him Onii-chan once again. His little brother was a selfless little guy. "Fine, I'll live for the both of us." Gin murmured to no one in particular.
"I'll live for us both and I won't blame myself, but only because you asked me to."