This takes place just before Life Goes On. It's just a little thing from
Faye's POV as Spike leaves. I know its been done before but I just had to
give it a try myself. Reviews are greatly treasured.
Prelude
One of my favorite memories of my past life is from just before the accident. My mother and I were wandering the bridal shops dreaming of big beautiful weddings. I had just turned 22 and we both figured I would be starting a family soon. The fact that I wasn't seeing anyone seriously didn't phase either of us in the slightest. We moved from store to store admiring and wishing. By the end of that day, I knew exactly what kind of wedding I wanted to have. The only thing I didn't have picked out was a groom but I was optimistic that that would remedy itself soon.
Fate is fickle and your whole life can change in a heartbeat. You blink once and everything you know has changed. Less than a month after our little outing I was cryogenically frozen and Earth's moon was changed beyond recognition. It was the last opportunity I had to spend time with my mother. I only saw her briefly before I got on the shuttle that landed me in hell. I still remember the last thing she said to me. "I love you, sweetheart. I'll see you in a few weeks." The next thing I knew I was waking up in a hospital room, freezing cold with the aftereffects of 50 years of cold storage. And I couldn't remember a single thing about my former life.
And now with my memories newly restored, now I'm leaning against the cool metal wall of a starship watching one of the very few friends I've made walk away forever. I threatened to shoot him to keep him from leaving but he didn't buy it. I knew he wouldn't. He knows me too well for that. He also knew that he didn't need to be concerned when I started firing shots off into the ceiling. He knows me. I just found out who I am and one of the very small number of people in the universe that knew who I was before I did is walking into the hangar right now on his way out the door.
I slide down the wall as I hear the Swordfish's engines growl and the hangar door clank open. Bitter tears run down my cheeks and it occurs to me, not for the first time, that my life really, really sucks. I just don't seem to be able to get a break. I get my memory back only to find out that my family is gone and that there is nothing left of them for me. No one is looking for me. The only thing I have left is the Bebop and its crew. And Spike is definitely trying to get himself killed. Ed and Ein are already gone. Jet and I are the only ones left. How did this happen? Why? I just don't understand.
It's killing me. I can feel it within my bones. A dull ache blots out the excruciating stabs of pain that his footsteps drive through my fractured heart. It suddenly strikes me as odd that its Spike's departure that I seem to be fixating on. Maybe its because I know he doesn't want to live to see tomorrow. Maybe its because his death wish means I'll never see him again. Maybe it's something else entirely. Something I'm not ready to articulate. But I guess it doesn't matter anymore. He's gone.
I look up as Jet reenters the hallway. He doesn't comment on the bullet holes in the ceiling or the tears that stain my cheeks. "He's gone?" He speaks calmly giving away no hint of emotional reaction to his best friend's self-destructive decision.
I nod. "He's gone."
Jet turns without further response and heads into the hangar to find something to work on. He works so he doesn't have to think. I wish I could do that. But it doesn't work for me.
I sit in silence for several minutes thinking about my life up to this point, from the childhood I've just regained to the bounties I've caught with the boys. Is it worth it to know the past when I can't touch it? I'm not sure. I stand and dry my tears. I can't be here right now. It's just too much. This place makes me think of the family I had here. For a long time they were the only family I remembered having. I don't want to be reminded that they're gone. Walking stoically to my room, I pack a bag and write a note for Jet, telling him I'll be back but that I don't know when. This place is all I have left and I can't leave it forever but I need some time to get my head back together, to learn how to live without "the lunkhead" around. I miss him already.
As I walk down the corridor and enter the hangar, I contemplate what was going through Spike's head as he left. I'm afraid I'm still mystified. I just don't understand why he left us. He's the one that told me that I shouldn't live in the past. Hypocrite! I hate him. I love him. I don't know. Before I can confuse myself further, I climb into the Redtail and take off. I really miss him.
Prelude
One of my favorite memories of my past life is from just before the accident. My mother and I were wandering the bridal shops dreaming of big beautiful weddings. I had just turned 22 and we both figured I would be starting a family soon. The fact that I wasn't seeing anyone seriously didn't phase either of us in the slightest. We moved from store to store admiring and wishing. By the end of that day, I knew exactly what kind of wedding I wanted to have. The only thing I didn't have picked out was a groom but I was optimistic that that would remedy itself soon.
Fate is fickle and your whole life can change in a heartbeat. You blink once and everything you know has changed. Less than a month after our little outing I was cryogenically frozen and Earth's moon was changed beyond recognition. It was the last opportunity I had to spend time with my mother. I only saw her briefly before I got on the shuttle that landed me in hell. I still remember the last thing she said to me. "I love you, sweetheart. I'll see you in a few weeks." The next thing I knew I was waking up in a hospital room, freezing cold with the aftereffects of 50 years of cold storage. And I couldn't remember a single thing about my former life.
And now with my memories newly restored, now I'm leaning against the cool metal wall of a starship watching one of the very few friends I've made walk away forever. I threatened to shoot him to keep him from leaving but he didn't buy it. I knew he wouldn't. He knows me too well for that. He also knew that he didn't need to be concerned when I started firing shots off into the ceiling. He knows me. I just found out who I am and one of the very small number of people in the universe that knew who I was before I did is walking into the hangar right now on his way out the door.
I slide down the wall as I hear the Swordfish's engines growl and the hangar door clank open. Bitter tears run down my cheeks and it occurs to me, not for the first time, that my life really, really sucks. I just don't seem to be able to get a break. I get my memory back only to find out that my family is gone and that there is nothing left of them for me. No one is looking for me. The only thing I have left is the Bebop and its crew. And Spike is definitely trying to get himself killed. Ed and Ein are already gone. Jet and I are the only ones left. How did this happen? Why? I just don't understand.
It's killing me. I can feel it within my bones. A dull ache blots out the excruciating stabs of pain that his footsteps drive through my fractured heart. It suddenly strikes me as odd that its Spike's departure that I seem to be fixating on. Maybe its because I know he doesn't want to live to see tomorrow. Maybe its because his death wish means I'll never see him again. Maybe it's something else entirely. Something I'm not ready to articulate. But I guess it doesn't matter anymore. He's gone.
I look up as Jet reenters the hallway. He doesn't comment on the bullet holes in the ceiling or the tears that stain my cheeks. "He's gone?" He speaks calmly giving away no hint of emotional reaction to his best friend's self-destructive decision.
I nod. "He's gone."
Jet turns without further response and heads into the hangar to find something to work on. He works so he doesn't have to think. I wish I could do that. But it doesn't work for me.
I sit in silence for several minutes thinking about my life up to this point, from the childhood I've just regained to the bounties I've caught with the boys. Is it worth it to know the past when I can't touch it? I'm not sure. I stand and dry my tears. I can't be here right now. It's just too much. This place makes me think of the family I had here. For a long time they were the only family I remembered having. I don't want to be reminded that they're gone. Walking stoically to my room, I pack a bag and write a note for Jet, telling him I'll be back but that I don't know when. This place is all I have left and I can't leave it forever but I need some time to get my head back together, to learn how to live without "the lunkhead" around. I miss him already.
As I walk down the corridor and enter the hangar, I contemplate what was going through Spike's head as he left. I'm afraid I'm still mystified. I just don't understand why he left us. He's the one that told me that I shouldn't live in the past. Hypocrite! I hate him. I love him. I don't know. Before I can confuse myself further, I climb into the Redtail and take off. I really miss him.