I stood alone in the beautiful meadow, gazing down into the black sheet of a pool. I hesitated for just a moment. Dare I see what had become of my Clan? Dare I see if my death had been worth it?
That gave me pause. I knew, whether or not the fight had stopped, that my death had been worth it. In my last moments, perhaps, I had been truly alive.
With that in mind I reached out my paw, which would never grow any bigger, as I would never reach the size of an adult she-cat. I touched it to the sleek, unmoving surface of the pool, and immediately ripples extended outward, small waves that lapped up along the sides for long moments before smoothing and bringing an image to the surface.
ShadowClan warriors stood at the top of the hollow, looking horrified and bewildered. They were the same ones that had rushed me, and in turn I had rushed them, determined to stop them, knowing it meant my death. I searched their ranks. Where was my body? I was very obviously dead.
"What happened?" one of them whispered, their voice throaty with terror.
"Oh, great StarClan." Another one sank to the ground and retched. "I can't believe...I can't believe she's dead."
They parted, stepping backwards, and then I saw it. My body. It was strange to see it. I expected my body to be bloodied, broken in too many places to count. I expected the sight to make horror rise in my throat and make my heart stop. But no. As I stared in astonishment, I saw my body, peaceful in death, but pristine and untouched. Then - and I could only see it now because I was in StarClan myself - I saw the ghostly cat stroking my fur, cleaning away the last bits of blood. The blue gray she-cat purred, a gentle tune that I couldn't identify, and left me beautiful in the wake of my passing.
"Bluestar," I murmured.
"ShadowClan." It was Firestar's voice. He was wearied. I looked to him and saw the blood on his muzzle, but even that did not stand out in comparison to the exhaustion in his eyes. "You must leave now. You have gotten what you came for. You discovered these two young cats' love, and now they are dead."
"Firestar." Blackstar stepped forward. I had never seen the ShadowClan leader look more remorseful. I'd never seen him look remorseful at all, actually. "We hadn't meant it to happen. We didn't plan on attacking, but Falconpaw ran and we gave chase. And our anger got the better of us."
Now fury flared in my leader's eyes. "How dare you," he whispered. "How dare you give an excuse for this carnage. Look there!" His eyes flashed to my body. "Do you see her?" Blackstar did not reply. "Do you see her?"
"Yes, I see her," growled Blackstar.
"She sacrificed herself. She did it to be with her lover, to save her Clan, and to teach you regret. She knew, in her last moments, that you would rue this day and that the memory would haunt you for the rest of your life. She also knew that she, even if she didn't want the praise, would be honored in ThunderClan as long as this Clan lives." He paused. "I received a prophecy last night. It was cryptic then, but much clearer now. Too clear. StarClan told me, Kits will be her legacy. The Clan will be her honor. She will be a legend. Who was this 'her', this 'she'? And now we know." He lifted his voice. "May Frostpaw always be known as a legend in ThunderClan!"
Blackstar snapped his teeth together. "Frostpaw was not meant to die."
"StarClan has their plans," meowed Firestar calmly. "Every cat sets paw on this earth for a reason." He paused for a very long moment. "I, too, let the anger get the better of me just now. I don't blame you. ShadowClan came to the hollow this day for a reason, and Frostpaw's legacy will live on in her sister's kits and the stories our elders will tell for all of eternity. Leave the hollow now."
"Firestar -"
"Leave. Now."
And I watched them leave, trudging out. The ones that I had faced off against still had paralyzed expressions of horror, mingled with grief. They grieved? For me? They had never known me. Was it possible?
Oh, it was. Firestar forced them to leave Falconpaw, and ThunderClan grieved and held vigil for the dark tom that I loved. They had never known him, but they buried him on ThunderClan ground as if he were one of our own. His legacy, too, would live on.
But when they went to retrieve my body to hold vigil for me with Falconpaw, my sleek, white-and-gray fur began to sparkle, and slowly I dissolved. At first I was horrified as I looked on - what was happening? Wasn't I going to be remembered? My Clan watched as I became a pale, shimmery dust that a soft breeze picked up and carried around the camp. I heard a voice whisper, "And this is her legend."
Time passed. I saw Stormpaw and Starlingpaw receive their warrior names - Stormwind and Starlingtail. And then, about a moon later, a very heavily pregnant Goldenpaw became Goldenfeather. My beautiful sister. And my lovely brother, Rainfall. I wanted to reach out and stroke them but I knew I couldn't.
I watched Goldenfeather in labor not long after. Her kits were born, and I felt my essence shiver when the pale gray-and-white she-kit slid from my sister's body. I knew, not because of her appearance but because of the painful thump my heart gave and the insistent tug in my soul, that this was me. A reincarnation. Another chance. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, and I felt myself next to Goldenfeather. The other me. And I lifted my head and purred at Rainfall, whose love and adoration I could feel, and then I slid from the little kit's body and stood beside my sister.
"Forgive me," I breathed in her ear. Forgive me for leaving you.
"There is nothing to forgive," she murmured, too low for Rainfall and Stormwind to hear.
I watched as they named the she-kit Frostkit and the tom kit Falconpaw. So my love would get another chance as well, in a way. We didn't so much have control over the kits' lives as that they had a part of us always with them...a part of our soul, our essence, driving them to be the legends they were meant to be. Like a song that gets stuck in your head, and you always purr it, almost without realizing it's even coming from your mouth. It wasn't that they didn't have a choice...it was that, that was who they were.
A soft purr from next to me. "It is the song of life, my love," Falconpaw meowed softly, and I leaned against him, feeling his own song in the beat of his heart and the rhythm of his breathing.
"I regret nothing," I told him. I smiled up at him and in that instant believed it to be true. "It's like Firestar said. I think that was why we were put on this earth. To leave a trace of ourselves while saving the Clans."
"Exactly. I always knew," he murmured.
"Knew what?" I asked, a little too sharply.
"That you would be special," he replied, his voice soft with love. "That you would be...a legend."
"You can't possibly have known that," I purred.
"Oh, I did. And I didn't think I was worthy of it. Why do you think I pushed you away at first?" he meowed, laughing. "I thought, never could I be as special as this she-cat is meant to be. Never could I live up to her standards."
"You were lying to yourself."
"Was I? I suppose that's for the tellers of stories to decide," he said comfortably, flicking his tail.
"I suppose it is," I murmured, my eyes on the pool as time progressed and Goldenfeather began to tell her kits a story. It was, according to her, a thrilling epic of power, love, and the ability to sacrifice everything.
And I was the main character.