Notes: You know the drill. My partner in crime and I alternate writing chapters which may make the story seem kind of disjointed to you, but makes it 5x more fun for us…and who's really important here? :P I feel very privileged and excited to be the one to start things off with this prologue. Dahling and I have great plans for this story. You won't want to miss it. We'll be updating once a week (and if we miss a deadline I'm sure it will be her fault ;P). So mark off Thursday mornings on your calendars because the Fiyero Torturers have come to play!

I hope you enjoy! :)

-Squintzie

Prologue: Avaric

I had heard the story, bit by bit, from various people, and, as generally happens in such cases, each time it was a different story. No one could make sense of how five reasonably intelligent people had gotten themselves so hopelessly entangled in each other's lives in such abnormal and unhealthy ways, much less why two men who had previously identified themselves as very heterosexual would elope to the Emerald City-- although everyone had certainly tried their very best to puzzle it out, interjecting false details and theories of their own devising wherever there were holes in the true story. I, myself, was less worried about figuring out the actual events and the motives behind them, and more worried about the reasons why three out of the five aforementioned, obviously confused, young adults had decided to involve me in their problems.

I looked from the woman sitting-- or rather sulking-- on my bed; to the other young woman who was sitting on the room's other bed, her head drooped in sorrow and her long hair hiding her face from view (I was amazed at her ability to play the martyr even when a good portion of what had happened -- as far as I could tell at least-- was her fault); to Fiyero who was pacing the floor, holding a foul smelling slab of meat over his blackened eye and scowling at the entire room with an air of wounded pride. I heaved a heavy sigh. The Unnamed God must really hate me.

There was a knock at the door and I answered it with no small degree of apprehension. My luck dictated that there could only be one of two people on the other side of that door. Sure enough, as I opened the door, I found myself face to face with both of them.

"I'm looking for my husband and the love of my life…I thought you may have seen one or both of them," the Munchkin by the name of Baq or Squic or Beq or something of the sort said in a blustering tone that belied his defeated posture. His expression suggested that he was fully aware of how ridiculous he sounded and would not appreciate being reminded of such.

"I don't even know why I'm here," the final player in the game sighed. "This just seemed like the place to be."

I stepped aside and allowed them both in, resigning myself to my role as unwilling referee. "They're both already here."

His face registered surprise, anger, and sadness all in quick succession before he forced an impassive mask over it. "So I see."

There were several furtive looks passed between my five guests as the new arrivals walked into the room and I had to resist the urge to grab all of them by their collars and knock their heads together.

"It could be worse," a cheerful voice chirped in an effort to lighten the mood. "Crope and Tibbett could have followed us."

"They're sleeping on the couch in my new apartment," Biq sighed.

"Our new apartment," Fiyero reminded him dutifully.

"They're sleeping on the couch in Fiyero's and my new apartment. They'll be down later," Boq said morosely.

"Oh."

The room was silent.

I cleared my throat. "Sit down," I ordered. "All of you."

There were several enraged outcries at my statement and childish squawks of, "I'm not going to sit next to her/him!"

I waved their protests away, "If you're going to insist on treating me like your therapist, we're going to have a good, old-fashioned group therapy session. Now sit."

"Avaric, I really don't see…" Elphaba began in a reasonable tone.

"Ah! But I do see a purpose in it," I said as condescendingly as I dared. There was no sense in pushing the green bean too far. She had already been jerked around quite a lot throughout the past few weeks and she wasn't known for her even temper even in the best of times. "Now sit."

Once all five were settled on the two beds-- Boq perched on the very edge of the one on the left and looking like he was about to take off running, the unlucky prince of the Vinkus sandwiched between two angry women (and looking far too happy about it), and Nessarose sitting on the opposite bed all by herself-- I began my speech.

"You, all five of you, have made a mockery of the institution of marriage…several times over. You have brought shame to the land of Oz, Shiz, and your individual families. You let your hormones control you like teenagers…"

"We still are teenagers," Nessa pointed out, "some of us at least."

I glared at her. "I was trying to make a point. As I was saying, you let your hormones control you like teenagers and now that what you have done has blown up in your faces, you, like children, expect someone else to take care of your problems. I'm not saying that I won't help, Lurline certainly knows that you five need all the help you can get, but I want you all to be prepared to take responsibility and deal with the consequences of your actions, is that clear?"

They nodded with various degrees of reluctance, both resentful to be talked to like children and grudgingly accepting that they deserved to be chastised.

"Don't get too smug now, Av," Fiyero warned. "You've made some rather large mistakes yourself in the past. Need I remind you of…"

"Now, let's start at the beginning," I suggested, raising my voice to drown Fiyero out. "How did this whole mess come about?"

Boq sheepishly raised his hand. "Well, one day I was sitting at breakfast, minding my own business when…"

As I listened to the long, strange story that followed, I rubbed my temples with my forefingers and began to wonder why I bothered to get up that morning.

The Beginning…