Disclaimer: I thought I owned Naruto at one time, but then I woke up...

Chapter 1, It Starts...

Tsunade kept a fierce look on her face as she eyed the one chunin and two genin standing in front of her desk, especially the dark-haired boy in the center.

"So, they finally brought you back, huh?" She said coldly.

Sasuke didn't respond, but stared at the floor, unable to face the Hokage's stinging words. Naruto and Sakura stood at his side, the distress evident on their faces.

Tsunade's face softened as she eyed the troubled ninjas. "Naruto, Sakura, good job."

"Sasuke."

As he looked up, the only thing that betrayed his emotionless demeanor was a frown. Still, he said nothing.

"You know what's next, don't you?"

No answer.

Tsunade nodded "Izumo. Kotetsu."

They appeared in an instant beside the Hokage's desk.

Nothing had to be said as they escorted Sasuke out the door. Naruto and Sakura didn't utter a word as they watch their old friend leave. As the two were about to go, Tsunade stopped them in mid-step.

"Wait a second." While they turned to face her, she brought up a paper and stamped it with her approval.

"I'm sending you two on a mission to get your minds off of the boy." She stamped the papers again and wrote something on it.

Still, the duo said nothing.

"This will be a B-ranked mission. There is some disturbance somewhere in tea country. You two are going to rendezvous with our client at Nozomi inn, got it?"

Sakura looked at Naruto, who grinned and gave her a thumbs up.

"Well?" he asked.

She simply raised an eyebrow at him before bowing to her sensei. "Hai, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade propped her feet onto the desk and shooed them away with her hand. "Get going!"

They both nodded and exited the room.

As they walked through the halls, Sakura turned to the grinning genin again. "Well, what?"

"Wanna get some ramen before we leave?" he said.

She laughed for a bit and smiled, "Don't we always?"

"True, True."

It was about twenty minutes later when they were sitting at Ichiraku, waiting for their ordered meal.

Naruto jumped to his feet and waved a hand in the air. "Oi! Old Man! Hurry it up, dattebayo!"

Sakura grabbed Naruto by the shoulder and promptly forced him to make butt contact with his seat. "Settle down Naruto, you'll get your food when it's ready!"

A moment later, Ayame placed both plates of ramen on the counter then went back into the kitchen.

Without a second thought, the blonde grabbed for his chopsticks, snapped them apart, and dug right in. Between bites, the pink-haired chunin took glances at the "crazed ramen fiend." or something along the lines of what she used to call him a couple months ago.

Now she knew where Jiraiya was coming from when he made that beauty and the beast comment.

When Naruto finished his bowl, he set it to the side, a more serious look now on his face.

"Oi, Sakura-chan..."

She stopped eating and eyed the blonde. "Hm?"

"What do you think they're going to do to Sasuke?"

Sakura stared at the ground for a bit, then said.

"...I don't know..."

She then got a hopeful glint in her eyes and looked back up at Naruto.

"Maybe we could check on him?"

It seemed like he was actually considering it, but he shook his head instead and dismissed the question.

"As much as I want to beat the crap out of him, we should wait till we get back, 'tebayo."

The blonde genin placed the money on the counter as the two rose to their feet.

"Well, maybe we should go pack?" Sakura suggested.

Naruto nodded.

"Meet me back here at noon, alright?" She added.

The other nodded again. "K, noon it is! Bye Sakura-chan!

With one last wave, the boy was off.

(At an unnamed grave...)

Sano rose to his feet and dusted off his pants.

His unruly white hair took on a golden hue from the morning sun while his sage eyes checked his watch. He wore a royal blue shirt with golden slacks.

"I think that's enough." he said with a sad smile.

He stood in a small clearing of the forest. Sano took a piece of cloth out of his pocket, polished the marble tombstone one last time, then ran off.

Soon, he was back on the forest path to tea country.

"Ready to go?" He said to the kunoichi leaning against the tree closest to him.

Mia's black hair went down to shoulder's length, about a couple inches above her sleeveless obsidian gi. A small knife had been tied around the thigh of her crimson pants.

She nodded and started walking alongside him.

"So?" she asked.

"So what?"

"Where are we headed?"

Sano folded his arms and brought a hand to his chin, thinking.

"...I dunno..."

Mia said nothing, setting her companion's nerves on edge.

He piped up. "Isn't there a hotel somewhere around here?"

Mia's cobalt blue eyes stared at Sano in curiosity. "There should be, why?"

He still kept his arms folded as they stopped walking.

"Well, we could try going there and ask around."

She shrugged, and said

"Sounds like a plan."

The forest gave way within the hour, and they soon came upon a large meadow. Tulips and daisies were strewn about the place as the field stretched past the horizon. A dirt path started at the forest's exit extended far to the north, then end at a wooden house.

It was fairly large, about three stories. Two sakura trees stood at the building's sides. Smoke puffed out of the chimney, and the smell of food welcomed them. There was a fenced in area behind the house, catching their interest.

Mia looked up at Sano, grinning from ear to ear.

He was grinning also, but who wouldn't? A normal trip through those Kami forsaken woods took days, even if you knew the way! To say they were at least a little cranky wouldn't be an understatement. His eyes spotted a sign hanging down from the house's canopy.

Nozomi Inn.

'Yep' He thought. 'It's a dream all right.'

She tapped him on the shoulder, catching his attention.

"Last one there buys dinner!"

Before he could say anything, she was already speeding off for the Nozomi Inn.

Sano gave one final glance to the direction of the forest then said with a smile.

"Sayonara, Nii-san."

A second later, what Mia said to him had finally sunk in, and he gave chase.

"Mia-chan! Hold up! I want a do over!"

She's his best friend, what was he to do?

(Meanwhile...)

Ashi plopped down on his black leather couch, a little tired from cleaning the dishes a minute ago.

He had chestnut blonde hair, messy and wild in its own right. A tuft of hair hung in a ponytail that fell down his back and between his shoulders. Silence filled his living room, then he let out a sigh of contentment.

These were the type of days that he lived for. No chaos, no missions...

Ashi wore a navy blue, sleeveless shirt as he began to doze off. His burgundy pants were made of smooth deer leather. He had on a pair of charcoal colored work boots, accompanied by a pair of ebony work gloves. Around his waist was where his hitai-ate was tied, with Konoha's emblem engraved in it. He also wore a scarlet bandana around his neck.

If only there were more days like this... He thought. Just me, the silence, and...

"ASHI!"

"Eh!?" Ashi turned to look at the front door, only to hear some guy's voice booming through.

"ASHI! YOU HOME!?"

"...why...why, Kami, why!? " He said to himself. He had no plans on getting up, no matter what this nuisance wanted.

"ASHI!"

Maybe if I be quiet, he'll go away. Ashi thought hopefully. There was only one way that person was getting inside, and that was if he broke in.

"ASHI! OPEN UP!

"oh wait...I know that voice..."

Nothing happened, and Ashi's peace had been restored, only to be smashed apart by a sledgehammer a second later.

The door bursted open with shattering force. The sound of its impact against the wall actually made Ashi jump to his feat and start performing hand seals.

"Raiton..."

"Wait Ashi!"

"Hm?" He looked at the door, and the nuisance made himself known.

Jiraiya poked his head through the doorway, and walked in nonchalantly, even closing it behind him.

Because he was dealing with an old acquaintance, (or because this man was one of the three sannin...) He simply discarded the episode with the door as a lost cause.

"How's it going Ashi?" The frog hermit asked.

He merely shrugged and sat back down on the couch.

"Could be better if I was sleep." Ashi said with a yawn.

The older Shinobi gave a knowing nod, then sat in the chair opposite of the couch.

Jiraiya folded his arms and looked at the younger ninja, who took a seat also.

"I've got a job for you, Ashi."

"Eh? What is it."

"Well, Tsunade wants you to perform a show for her and..."

"OH HELL NO!!!" Ashi shot from the chair, shaking his head vehemently.

"Not for all the Icha Icha in the world!"

Jiraiya sighed, this was to be expected. If Kakashi didn't even let him finish, then Ashi was no different. But, these responses were pretty much his fault.

After all, three months ago, he got in a trouble with Tsunade. And in an attempt to save his own ass, he told her he'd throw her a "party" of sorts. i.e. give her and big group of kunoichi two strippers for the day.

It worked. All at the tiny expense of scarring two experienced jonin for life.

"Calm down Ashi!" The frog hermit said as he held his hands up in defense and grinned innocently at his young friend.

"I was just kidding!"

Ashi rolled his sapphire blue eyes and allowed the hermit to continue.

"Well, at least you and Kakashi got some in the end, right?"

Ashi shook his head and plopped back down on the couch.

"You just don't get it." That was all he needed to say.

Flashback...

"How bad is it?" Kakashi asked, voice filled with worry and dread.

Ashi retracted his head from the doorway and gulped.

They both kept on their traditional jonin attire.

"I bet every major kunoichi in town is in there... How the hell did they fit that many people in there!?"
Ashi exclaimed.

The copy ninja shrugged and said in a matter-of-fact manner.

"Crowd compress no jutsu."

"...ok...moving on..."

With his thumb, the younger jonin pointed to Tsunade's office.

"That's not even the worst of it.

"Eh!?"

"Anko..."

Kakashi nodded solemnly.

"Anko..."

Ashi nodded also, "And she started licking her lips too!"

Now, the poor ninja was on his way to having a nervous breakdown. "She's gonna eat us when this over!"

The copy ninja Ashi by the shoulders and shook him violently, "Get a hold of yourself! Anko doesn't do that!"

"She doesn't?"

"Nope, she's probably just gonna knock us out, drag us to her place, then rape us."

"...Kami help us..."

End flashback...

It's amazing how five unreleased issues of Icha Icha, the brand new volume called Icha Icha Climax, and movie adaptations for all of the above can influence a man's thought process.

"Ashi, what would you say if I told that you'd just been assigned a mission with said copy ninja and purple-haired kunoichi?"

"Wha!?"

Ashi stopped what he was doing entirely and stared at the sannin. He said aloud four words, his favorite set of words that he adopted as his catch phrase nine years ago, when he turned twelve and had to participate in the preliminaries of the chunin exams

"Ain't life a bitch..."

-End of Chapter 1 of Shinobi Nights.

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