That's my take at the classical Sailor Moon/Ranma 1/2 crossover. God may save you.
by lord Martiya
Disclaimer: the Ranma 1/2 manga and characters are Takahashi Rumiko's creation. The Codename: Sailor V manga, its MANGA spinoff Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon and all of their characters are the brainchildren of Takeuchi Naoko. This story and my own OC are my torture of a classical crossover format.
ACT 1: RANMA, THE ENGAGED
It was a glorious day for the Sailor Senshi. Finally Mamoru had managed to get Usagi pregnant, and her parents had forced a shotgun wedding, but not in the classical Japanese variant of the 'Oops Wedding'(1), with no clear or implied threat, it was in the Anglo-Saxon variant, with an actual shotgun. All said, at the main wedding party Mamoru had broken Tsukino Ikuko's shotgun, and now the Sailors were celebrating at Hikawa with some guests. Namely, the Moon Cats, their fellow advisor Diana the Moon Fairy(2), who was quarreling with Luna, Kakyuu with her guards, the rest of the Sol System Sailors (all finally located) save for the Amazzoness Quartet (still frozen for some century), the finally revived Shitennou, of wich Jadeite was literally kept at bow-point by Rei, their colleagues from the other worlds, Osaka Naru, Furuhata and the Superintendent-General of the Metropolitan Police, Sakurada Natsuna(3), who had been invited by Minako. After all, she was Minako's boss and big sisterly figure and the one who protected them from their notable criminal record(4), so it was the right thing to do. If only she, her date Wakagi(5), Artemis and Minako weren't in a corner mumbling something about corruption in the National Public Safety Commission(6), crazy samurais, explosives and Amazons...
"Why don't you ask for help?" one of the waitress, a blonde with a very pissed look and a candelier on the head asked.
"And who are you?" Superintendent Sakurada replied.
"Sailor Galaxia, ex-rogue Sailor serving her sentence to a chore for every Sailor of the systems I attacked."
"And you think you could help?"
"Me? Only if a Sailor order me as a chore when it comes to her. But Nem and her partner could. Between the sadistic bitch and her sarcastic bookworm partner..."
"Won't they get offended by you calling like that?" Wakagi asked.
"They ARE a sadistic bitch and a sarcastic bookworm, and they are the first to say so." Minako said. "Thanks, Queen Pikachu."
Galaxia went to serve someone else.
"What the hell was she doing here?" the Superintendent asked.
"Her Sailor Moon chore was paying for both parties, and to save some money she had Tin Nyanko cook all of the food and she's now serving with her Animamates." Minako explained.
"But... Why are you calling her a sadistic bitch?"
"SAY WHAT?!?!?!" Usagi shout.
Silence fell. After all, not even Beryl and Galaxia had ever managed to make her sound so scared and helpless, and it wasn't for a lack of efforts.
"I said, if your daughter won't show her power we could invent some sort of alien invasion or rebellion on my world and send her back in the time after hypnotizing her into believe some story outrageous enough to make us understand of the ruse." a voice replied.
"And this was Sailor Nemesis, Nem for short. And her future self will actually do so after brainwashing Galaxia's punching bag Wiseman(7)." Minako said. "She had even left around enough hints that Artemis, Luna and me immediatly figured it out but played along, and Usagi suspected it all the time... You should have seen the look on the others' faces when Usagi asked her future self if it had all been some prank on Nemesis' part and she actually confirmed... Still, with all her quirks she's the best law enforcer and judge I ever met, and her partner knows everything about law. Maybe they can help."
Wakagi though it wasn't a good idea, but his boss was of a different reason, and all of her seemingly ridicolous and random decisions had always produced good results (specially drawing Minako into the Force: from her they had met the Outers and the blackmailing material about many politicians they used to support themselves(8), blackmailing material they had used to raise funds and buy some much needed equipment for the Police), so they approached her while Usagi was muttering about knowing how the Black Moon ruse had been conceived.
"Sorry to disturb, but we need your advice." Minako said.
Nem turned and looked. And Natsuna and Wakagi jumped back in terror: between the 'If This Is Not Important Death Will Be The Soft Option' look in her eyes and her appearance, with a face who was a Mediterranean version of Usagi's (when the two were transformed and assumed the facial features and skin of their life in Silver Millennium(9) they were identical), an elegant body with a bust rivalling Setsuna and Makoto's and long knee-lenght black hair with two small odango on the sides of her hear, she was giving a very good impression of the mythological Nemesis just before she punished the Persian pride(10), even better than Minako's impression of her counterpart Aphrodite in a sexless day.
"Advice on what?" she asked with annoyed tone.
"Well, there's a criminal who is escaping prison thanks to corruption in the NPSC, and we were wondering if you knew how to have him arrested and punished." Minako said with her usual tone.
"Tell me."
"Well, in Nerima this Kuno Tatewaki and other loons had crushed the wedding between Saotome Ranma a-"
"SAOTOME WHO?!"
"How many there are of them?" Artemis mumbled.
"What do you mean?" Nem asked.
"It's a long story..."
"I have time."
"WE have time." her partner added, pointing at himself and all the presents.
"OK, but no lynch mob." Sakurada ordered.
After listening of the crushed marriage and some of the other incidents, and understanding why Sakurada ordered to not form a lynch mob, Nem gave her advice: "You just continue arresting him and mauling every time he resists, his protectors will grow tired. If not, well, I'll found a way to stop them. In the meantime, you and them could vent on him."
Two days had passed from the failed marriage, and Ranma and Akane decided to try and return school. They would have returned the day before, but had to recover from the shock of Happosai having done something good: as he pointed out, Jusenkyo curses didn't canceled each other but summed, and his own godson Panthyose Taro was the ultimate evidence of that. When Ranma and Genma had tried the Instant Jusenkyo they took its effects as a confirm of the curses canceling each other, but they were actually another completely different curse capable to override the normal ones but with limited durability that the owner of the Jusenkyo trademark had sold with the name for marketing reason.
Now they were about entering, but Nabiki appeared and stopped them.
"Kuno was released, and him and the Hentai Horde are ready to attack." she said. "You sure?"
The two nodded. After all, they really needed to vent, and Kuno and the Hentai Horde were perfect. Then Kuno appeared.
"How you dare, Foul Sorcerer!" he cried. "The strenght of the Blue Thunder stopped your evil deed two days ago, still thou are here and keep the Fierce Tigress in your evil clutch! But fears not, oh Akane, I'll now sl-Hey! It's impolite attacking before the end of the speech! And what's this foul smell?!"
"Kuno Tatewaki, you are under arrest for assaulting!" was the reply.
Ranma looked at his side, and found out that Aino Minako, the police officer who had arrested Kuno two days earlier, had hit him with some foul smelling liquid.
"Now, Kuno, will you follow me or I'll have to force you?" Aino asked.
"Oh! How sad, that even you fell for his spell! But fears not, I'll now free you!" Kuno replied. "Saotome Ranma, prepare to die! I ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!"
"What was that?" Akane asked.
"An incendiary arrow, while the liquid must be gasoline or something like that." Ranma replied.
"I know that. I was wondering who did that!"
"I believe it was a black haired girl, probably dressed as a miko and with a couple ravens with he-HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL HE DID FOR PISS OFF ONE OF THE SAILOR SENSHI?!?!?!"
A Sailor Senshi, the one named Sailor Uranus, was extinguishing the fire on Kuno by stomping on him with much violence. Then, while the cop shackled Kuno, she turned to Ranma and replied: "Ask your father how many engagements you have! And this idiot crashed your wedding and my best occasion to return home without killing you!!!" before mauling the Hentai Horde. And for a change, Akane didn't beated Ranma: the Sailor Senshi had declared clearly enough she was willing to kill to not marry Ranma and had just mauled ones of the people who had crashed her easy way out of her engagement, and the pigtailed martial artist was showing to have absolutely no clue about Sailor Uranus. Then, Ranma had to ruin everything, and check who had launched the arrow. And, in fact, it was a very beautiful miko armed with a yumi bow and not-lighted incendiary arrows and flanked by two ravens, one of them armed with a zippo. And while he gaped at her beauty, she talked.
"Greetings, future husband."
...
...
...
"RANMA, YOU PERVERT!!!"
footnotes
(1)That's the literal translation of the Japanese term 'dekichatta kekkon' used for the shotgun weddings.
(2)An unused character of the Sailor Moon manga. Had she appeared, she would have met the Sailors in the ruins of Silver Millennium and would have followed Usagi at home, to Luna's dismay (the two would have not got along).
(3)A character from Codename: Sailor V. A closet fan of Sailor V, she tried to discover V's identity for the majority of the story in order to enroll her in the police. After giving up to chase idol, she befriended Minako and accidentally found she was Sailor V after seeing the Sailor Senshi enter in a toilet and Minako emerging immediatly after. In the last chapter we discover that her quest was successful: in the very last panels of the story Minako, now Sailor Venus, announce to a shocked Artemis that she would work part-time for Natsuna in spite of hating the police (and having caught many criminals only to make the police look bad).
(4)In fact they could be death sentenced if they weren't younger than 18: their criminal records include murder (Sailor Moon, Sailor Venus and the Outers had killed many humans, specially in the manga), illegal possession of weapons (the Space Sword, the Silence Glaive, the Mars Arrow, at least one katana used by Sailor V to kill a youma and the Holy Blade), property damage and assault. Interestingly enough, the dirtier records are Sailor Moon's and Venus', as they are the only ones to have actually assaulted and killed many human characters (Beryl, the brainwashed Endymion and Tomoe for Moon and Adonis for Venus), a feat that even the Outers had failed to, and not for lack of attempts (if only they were faster they would have killed Tomoe...).
(5)Another character from Codename: Sailor V, he's one of the many loves of Minako in spite of being the policeman in charge of discovering Sailor V's real identity and having a personal hatred for the Sailor-suited warrior stemming from her making police look bad, being the origin of many of his problems (as he always failed to discover V's identity the Superintendent-General even sent him in Siberia for a while) and having unwillingly stolen the first price of a lottery from his elder brother. At the end of the series he and Minako are somehow friends, and according to Minako the Suprintendent-General is in love with him.
(6)The cabinet office with authority on Japanese police.
(7)That's my take at the fact Uranus and Neptune had not exterminated the Black Moon Clan before they could wreak havoc. Come on, Galaxia had actually met Wiseman in a bar, and knowing the Golden Queen she would capture and torture him as antistress, and I seriously doubt that the Sailors could actually manage to keep it secret from the Outers. If nothing else, Chibiusa would have a slip with Hotaru, Hotaru would tell to her 'parents' and they would force Chibiusa to spill out everything and then search and kill the Black Moon Clan ancestors... More believable that a Sailor most ruthless than themselves would do it to force Chibiusa to develop her Sailor powers and follow a scheme they perfectly knew after borrowing Wiseman from Galaxia.
(8)Do somebody know where the Outers' funding come from? The blackmailing of a corrupted politician would be something they would actually do...
(9)I just didn't liked the 'Disguise Field' assumption of the fanon and I took an alternative explanation. After all, this would explain why the Moon Cats were able to guess who the Sailors were by just looking at their civilian identities and were completely sure about their partners (the humans they knew better).
(10)According to Greek legends, the Greek victory at Marathon was Nemesis humbling punishment for Persian assumption they would have won and their taking with them marble for a stele to record the beginning of their conquest of Greece, marble that the Athenians used to craft a statue of the goddess in her sanctuary in the nearby Rhamnous. Similarly, Athenians, or at least Aeschylus, attributed the Greek victory at Salamis and in the entire war to Nemesis' action to punish Xerses building a bridge across the Hellespont sea TWICE (the first had been destroyed by a storm), so perverting natural laws by walking on the sea, digging a channel to circumvent Mount Athos, so perverting natural laws by sailing on land, and having the sea whipped 300 times for destroying the bridge, so rebelling to divine judgement, all actions that provoked her fury by first inflicting the Persians a stop using the embarassingly little Greek force at Thermopylae and then many total defeats starting with Salamis.