"Hi, mom."
I looked around and saw that I was pretty much by myself. And it was okay since it was still light out.
Focusing my attention back on my mom, I dropped to my knees and placed the flowers down that I brought for her.
They were her favorite flowers in the whole world... lilies.
And I gave her a big smile. After all, today is a day she would have dreamed of. She would have loved to be apart of it all.
"I did it," I tell her, "I graduated high school and I'm on my way to UCLA. And I could not be happier because I know I'll have the time of my life in college. Sure, I'll miss everyone, but I'm so ready for a new adventure. A new chapter. New people to see. A different school. Everything about it. I just really wish you were here to see me. To see me go off to my dream school, your Alma mater, and watch me chase after my dreams... just like you chased yours."
No, I couldn't cry. Nope. My makeup was done. I had an hour until my graduation party where people were going to be scattered all over my house telling me how proud they are of me and how proud my mom would be of me.
I had to keep it together.
But it's hard.
It's hard when your mom, your mom who was your best friend in the whole world, is not here to see it all. Physically, anyway.
"I miss you every single day of my life and I know you're in a better place and God is taking care of you, but it still hurts. It hurts how you were just taken away from me at a time where a girl needed her mom the most. But I will never forget the times we had. The things you've taught me. The lessons I learned through you. Everything. You're my angel, mom, and I can't wait to see you again one day. I love you so, so much."
A single tear was falling from my right eye.
I couldn't help it. She was supposed to be here watching me graduate. And then watch me get married. And have babies.
But she's not here. She's not here anymore. And I have to live with that every single day.
I miss her so freaking much.