A/N: I do not own Glee or any of its characters.
Kurt sighed, looking out the window as he absently twirled his pencil in his hand. Math was not only his least favorite subject, but probably his worst. The fact that his teacher was so monotonous only worsened things. It took everything he had not to fall asleep in class. Kurt jumped slightly as his phonevibrated in his pocket. Ignoring the stare from the girl next to him, he pulled out his phone and held it low so that he could read the text.
Blaine Bond in "Dr. Cock"
-Jeff
Kurt had to bite his lip to avoid bursting into giggles. Only Jeff would send him such a text in the middle of class. Oh god, what if the teacher caught him and he had to read the text aloud. Or if the teacher took his phone and Jeff kept sending messages like that?
Blaine Bond in "From Russia with Cock"
-Kurt
Kurt could only assume that they were going to keep texting the inappropriate Bond titles back and forth. Kurt shook his head, trying to remember exactly when the joke came about. Blaine's living room, wasn't it? They had been talking about how Blaine was sneaking about, Kurt thought. So they deemed him Blaine Bond. His phone vibrated again, and he pulled it out eagerly.
Goldcock
-Jeff
Kurt covered his mouth as his body shook with silent laughter. He could notlaugh out loud. Whatever Jeff sent, he couldn't laugh out loud. Maybe this was a test of wills. To see who could crack first. Or who could get in trouble first. Oh god. What if he was sent to the principal over this?
Thundercock
-Kurt
Kurt closed his eyes, trying to relax himself. He opened them again and saw the girl next to him staring. She cocked her head to the side, questioning. He only shook his head, smiling, and she just shrugged and went back to writing notes. His phone vibrated again, and he hesitated before opening it.
You Only Cock Twice
-Jeff
Kurt grinned. It was funny, but not nearly as funny as some of the others had been. He bit his lip, wondering if his next text was going to send Jeff into hysterics. If they were together, the two of them would have already been in hysterics at "Blaine Bond", and by now, they'd both be on the floor, clutching at their sides and gasping for air.
Oh, come now. You can do better than that. How about… On Her Majesty's Secret Cock?
-Kurt
He nearly burst into laughter at his own text. He shut his eyes, biting his lip hard to avoid laughing. The girl next to him just looked at him quizzically. He grinned and handed her his phone, showing her the different texts. She was grinning and rolling her eyes. "Men!" she mouthed to Kurt. He just grinned and tapped his pencil against his notebook, waiting for the next text. He grinned as soon as he felt the vibration against his leg.
Ohmygod. I couldn't… I started laughing out loud and had to leave class.
-Jeff
Kurt stood and threw his hands up in the air, yelling, "I win!" The girl in the seat next to him only burst into hysterical laughter and the rest of the class was giving him odd looks. Kurt turned red, lowering his arms. "At… understanding. I get what we're doing." Kurt sat down quickly, ducking his head down.
"Yes, that's… wonderful, Mr. Hummel. Would you care to learn the rest of the lesson?" Kurt only gave a small squeak in answer and started scribbling furiously in his notebook. The girl next to him was red in the face as she stole glances at Kurt. She couldn't stop laughing.
Yes, well… I just embarrassed myself in front of an entire class.
-Kurt
Kurt shook his head in embarrassment as he half-listened to the teacher, doodling in his notebook. Oh, this was going to be a fun one to explain to Mercedes later. She would positively die from laughter, and she would definitely delight in Kurt's embarrassment. Kurt tugged his phone out of his pocket as it went off again.
Explain over coffee after school?
-Jeff
Kurt grinned and rushed to send an answer as the bell rang for the next class.
Okay, but you're buying.
-Kurt
The next text came right before he entered his English class.
Well, of course. A gentleman always pays.
-Jeff
Kurt sighed happily, his grin so wide that it physically hurt. He sat down at his desk and unknowingly pulled out his math notebook. When he opened up, he heard a whistle from next to him. He looked to see Puck leaning over his shoulder, looking at his notebook. Kurt looked down and realized that all over his notebook, he had drawn cock versions of "Blaine Bond".
"A little obsessed?" Puck laughed and sat down next to Kurt.
Kurt let his body fall forward and his head hit the desk with a loud thump, as he muttered, "Kill me now." Jeff would just die when Kurt told him all about this one. Jeff might have laughed first, but he probably hadn't suffered so much embarrassment. Guess the joke was on Kurt.