A/N: This is an AU, set back before Kurt's mother died.
I do no own Glee or any of its characters.
"Kurt, honey. Hold still." Elizabeth told him as she tried to button his shirt. He had been a bundle of excitement all morning, and now that she was dressing him up in his cowboy outfit, she was afraid that he was going to be bouncing off the walls at any moment.
"But what about the boots? Where are the boots, Mommy?" Kurt asked, looking all around him, twisting this way and that.
"Daddy's getting them. Now will you stay still so I can finish dressing you?" Elizabeth asked softly.
"Okay, Mommy." Kurt nodded and kissed her on the nose. She smiled and finished buttoning up his blue plaid shirt. He cooperated with her as she put on his little brown vest and then fitted the little cowboy hat on top of his head.
"Well look at you." Kurt and Elizabeth turned and saw Burt standing in the doorway. He held a small pair of cowboy boots, and a couple of Kurt's toy guns. Elizabeth stood as he walked towards her. He gave her a quick kiss as he handed the boots to her. Kurt took them from her and pulled them on, squealing in delight as he walked in circles.
"Daddy, the guns!" Kurt cried as he hugged Burt's leg, looking up at his father.
"What, these things?" Burt asked innocently, holding the guns up.
"Yes!" Kurt squealed as he jumped up and down.
"Hmm. I don't know. If I give you these, what are you gonna give me?" Burt teased, waving the guns above Kurt's head.
"Kisses!" Kurt grinned. "Lots and lots of 'em." Burt grinned as he knelt down in front of Kurt. Kurt threw his arms around Burt's neck and smothered his father's face in kisses. Burt laughed and put the toy guns into Kurt's holsters, before picking Kurt up and hugging him tight.
"My little guy is five years old today. How does it feel, buddy?" Burt asked, holding Kurt.
"Great!" Kurt giggled as he threw his arms up. Elizabeth gave Kurt and Burt a kiss on the cheek before she left the room to gather some things for Kurt's party.
"Are we going to Grandma and Grandpa's, Daddy?" Kurt asked.
"You know we are, buddy. Excited?"
"Way excited, Daddy."
"What do you think of my outfit? Do I look like a cowboy?" Burt asked as he set Kurt down on the floor.
"Uh huh. Are you a good guy or a bad guy?" Kurt asked, raising his eyebrow.
"Hmm. Today, I think I'll be a bank robber."
Burt grinned as Kurt drew his gun. He dove behind the door and peeked out at Kurt. Kurt squealed and pulled the trigger. Burt ducked back behind the door and aimed his gun in Kurt's direction, squeezing the trigger a few times. Kurt screamed and dove under the bed. Burt stopped shooting and poked his head out from behind the door.
"I guess the Sheriff's gone." Burt said loudly, watching the bed. He stepped out from behind the door and walked to the middle of the room, with his back to the bed. Kurt poked his head out from beneath the bed and grinned up at Burt, clamping his hand over his mouth as he tried not to giggle. Burt slowly turned around, pretending not to see Kurt. Kurt leaped out from under the bed and squeezed the trigger a few times.
"Oh! Ya got me!" Burt clapped his hand over his chest and fell to his knees. He slid forward and lay with his head turned to the side, eyes closed. Kurt inched closer to Burt and nudged his shoulder with his toe. He cocked his head to the side and nudged Burt a little harder. Burt lay still, eyes still closed.
"Ain't no robber gonna steal our money." Kurt muttered as he holstered his gun. He turned away and started to walk back over to the bed, his back to Burt. Burt looked up and raised himself onto his knees. He hooked an arm around Kurt's waist and pulled him back, tickling Kurt's sides and neck. Kurt squealed and wriggled, trying to pull away from Burt.
"Noooooooo! No tickling!" Kurt cried. With each protest, Burt only tickled Kurt harder. Kurt kicked and wrestled, finally freeing himself from Burt's grasp. He ran forward and wrapped his arms around Elizabeth's legs as she walked into the room. She giggled and lifted him up, kissing him on the cheek.
"Are we all ready to go?" She asked.
"I believe so. Oh, wait. Something I forgot." Burt stood and pulled a small golden sheriff's badge from his pocket. He clipped it onto Kurt's vest, and Kurt beamed up at him. For today, at least, he was in charge. He was the boss. Even if he was only five and still too little do much of anything, he felt so big.
Elizabeth got Kurt situated in the car as Burt locked up the house. Kurt sat in his car seat, amusing himself first by reciting the alphabet four times, and then by counting to ten three times. Whenever he hesitated or got stuck on his numbers, Burt and Elizabeth would give him hints until he finally got it. After Kurt began to count to ten for the fourth time, Elizabeth suggested that they sing instead. Burt smiled and took her hand as the three of them sang children's songs.
Kurt sat forward in his car seat, twisting to get a better view of the ranch as they pulled up. He kicked his feet in excitement while tugging at the straps on his shoulders. He drummed his feet against the seat as quietly hummed some of WilliamTellOverture before suddenly singing, "Six Texas Rangers HI-YO! HI-YO! rode in the sun HI-YO! HI-YO! Six men of justice rode into an ambush with death for all but one. One lone survivor HI-YO! HI-YO! lay on the trail HI-YO! HI-YO! Found there by Tonto, the brave Indian Tonto. He lived to tell the tale. HI-YO SILVER! HI-YO, SILVER, AWAY! HI-YO SILVER! HI-YO, SILVER, AWAY! His wounds quickly mended HI-YO! HI-YO! And then in the night HI-YO! HI-YO! Six graves were put there to hide from the outlaws that one man lived to fight. He chose silver bullets HI-YO! HI-YO! The sign of his name HI-YO! HI-YO! A mask to disguise him. A great silver stallion, and thus began his fame. HI-YO SILVER! HI-YO, SILVER, AWAY! HI-YO SILVER! HI-YO, SILVER, AWAY! The Lone Ranger is his name!"
Burt grinned, shaking his head as he parked the car. Kurt was bouncing up and down in his seat at this point, begging to be let out. Elizabeth climbed out and got into the back seat, unbuckling Kurt's car seat straps and letting him out. She stood back as he scrambled out and slid out of the car. His Grandma Ellie was already on the front porch. He giggled at her western costume as he ran up the porch steps and into her waiting arms.
"You know, I don't understand how he can remember every word to every song he hears, but he can't remember what number comes after ten." Burt sighed as he handed the birthday cake to Elizabeth. Elizabeth giggled and tossed her long hair back, giving Burt a peck on the cheek.
"He loves music. He has a very sweet voice. I'm sure he'll be very musically talented," Elizabeth told him.
"You mean like you?" Burt smiled and closed the trunk. Elizabeth just nudged him with her elbow and walked up the porch steps with him. He chuckled and held the screen door open for her. He gave her a light pat on the butt as she passed. She raised her eyebrow at him, smiling, and he only grinned at her in return.
"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Can I see the cake now? Please?" Kurt begged as she came into the kitchen. Elizabeth shook her head as she set it on the counter.
"Nope. Not until it's time to blow out the candles."
"When is that?" Kurt asked. He ran to her side and wrapped his arms around her waist, looking up at her. "Wheeeen?"
"Later, sweetheart. None of your friends are even here yet."
"Howdy Sheriff!" Kurt spun around and saw his grandpa. He squealed and ran to his grandpa, who picked him up and hugged him. "How's my little sheriff today?"
"Five! I'm five!" Kurt said excitedly, holding up five fingers. His grandpa laughed and shook his head.
"I asked how you were. Not how old you were."
"Great!" Kurt yelled and wriggled, trying to get down. His grandpa set him down on the floor. He pulled his guns an ran out of the room, screaming "Freeze!" at whoever was coming in the front door. He raised an eyebrow as he saw a feisty little blonde draw her own guns and point them at him.
"Nice try, Sheriff, but this bandit's taking over this town." She squeezed the trigger and Kurt dove behind the couch. He pretended to reload his gun and then poked his head up just enough to see if Anna was still standing there. He screamed in horror as he realized she was standing on the couch, staring down at him. She chased him as he ran into the kitchen, yelling, "Coward! Sheriff's don't run!"
"This one does!" Kurt yelled as he ducked behind Elizabeth and shot at Anna a few times. Anna screamed and dove behind Burt. Burt grinned at Kurt and drew his guns.
"Traitor!" Kurt yelled.
"Am not. I'm a bank robber, remember? Anna and I are on the same side." Kurt narrowed his eyes at Burt and shot at him. Burt picked Anna up and ran back into the living room. Kurt yelled and chased after the two of them. Elizabeth and Ellie only laughed and shook their heads.
"Guess I'd better get in there and give our little sheriff a hand. Two against one just ain't fair." Kurt's grandpa muttered and followed the chaos into the living room.
"Does Kurt have many coming?" Ellie asked Elizabeth.
"No," Elizabeth shook her head. "Just Anna and Jeff."
"Only two kids?" Jennie, Anna's mother, asked as she walked into the kitchen.
"That's all he wanted. Said he didn't want a lot of kids here. Just his closest friends." Elizabeth raked her fingers through her hair and sighed. She wished that Kurt didn't have so much trouble making friends. She knew a lot of it had to do with the way he dressed, but she knew Kurt loved picking out his clothes. What did it matter if his ensembles were a little feminine? That's what he was comfortable with. That's what he liked. She knew what people whispered about, the conclusion other kids came to when they saw Kurt's clothes. She figured that Kurt was probably too young to really know if he was more interested in boys or girls, but if Kurt did turn out to be gay? She was okay with that. He was her son, and she wouldn't love him any less.
"It's Kurt's party. Besides, less kids for us to keep under control." Jennie shrugged as she pulled out a tub of ice cream and put it into the freezer. Kurt squealed as he ran in and circled the table, Anna close on his heels. Jim and Burt were close behind, guns drawn. Kurt lead them around the table a few times before taking off back into the living room. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at Jennie.
"If that's what you call under control, I wonder what chaos is for you."
Jennie rolled her eyes and poured herself a cup of coffee. Elizabeth cringed as Jennie sipped at the black coffee and reached for her glass of warm milk. She never understood how Jennie could drink something that tasted so bitter. She had tried it once and vowed never again. They both perked up as they heard a knock on the door. Elizabeth went and answered the door, finding a tiny Jeff and his mother. Jeff immediately took off in the direction of the screaming while Elizabeth talked to Jeff's mother.
Kurt squealed and pulled Jeff into the study, closing the door and dragging Jeff under his grandpa's desk. Kurt pulled Jeff into a tight hug and said, "I know you're not a bad guy. You'd never be a bad guy."
"Nope. I'm a good guy. Who's the bad guys?" Jeff asked.
"Daddy and Anna. Grandpa's a good guy. We don't know 'bout Mommy or Aunt Jennie or Grandma yet. Wanna be my deputy?" Kurt asked.
"Really?" Jeff asked, wide-eyes.
"Duh! I don't want no one else to be my deputy but you." Kurt grinned.
"Okay." He shook Kurt's hand in agreement and said, "I think your mommy is a good guy. And Aunt Jennie's a bad guy."
"I think so, too," Kurt said quickly and peered out from behind the desk.
"There you are!" Anna squealed as she ran around the desk. Kurt grabbed Jeff's hand and tugged him along, running out of the room and right into his grandpa. His grandpa laughed and pointed towards the living room. Jennie jumped out at them with her guns drawn and they exchanged some bullets before Kurt and Jeff dove around her.
Elizabeth joined in the firefight and fought for the greater good of the Guthrie's estate. The bandits retreated to the study and planned an attack. They surprised the sheriff and his crew as they ambushed them from the kitchen entrance. Jennie fired at Elizabeth, but Jeff leaped in front of her and took the bullet. Kurt screamed and ran to Jeff.
"Jeff!" Kurt yelled as he knelt next to him.
"Kurt, you gotta save the others. You gotta save the town." Jeff coughed.
"But you can't die! You can't!" Kurt cried.
"Kurt, you gotta go on without me. You can do this! You can save everyone!"
"But I can't save you."
"Don't worry 'bout me. I'll be alright."
"But you're bleeding!"
"Go on, Kurt. Go save the others." Jeff closed his eyes and pretended to die. Kurt frowned and jumped to his feet, firing at the bandits.
"You killed my deputy! You're gonna pay!" Kurt screamed and charged. One by one, with the help of his crew, Kurt brought down each of the bandits. They lay on the floor all around the living room, and he smiled to himself in satisfaction.
"Well, well. Looks like good always beats the bad after all," His grandma said from the doorway of the kitchen.
"Not without losing a few good men." Kurt frowned, looking at Jeff.
"Ah, he's in a good place now, Kurt." Elizabeth smiled as she put a hand on his shoulder.
"Who wants cake and ice cream?" Kurt's grandpa asked. Kurt, Jeff, and Anna jumped up and down as they squealed with excitement. The adults got up and ushered the kids into the kitchen to stand around the table. Burt picked Kurt up and sat him down in a chair at the end of the table as Elizabeth lit the candles on the cake and carried it to the table. Kurt gasped and wriggled in excitement as he saw that the cake was was made in the shape of a sheriff's badge.
He beamed as everyone sang Happy Birthday to him. He made a wish, looking at Anna and Jeff, and then blew out his candles. Everyone clapped and then cake and ice cream was served to everyone. Anna and Kurt argued about who won their gunfight as they ate. Kurt had to keep reminding her that his crew had killed all of the bandits, and there were none left to take down the town.
"What if I didn't die? What if I was only hurt?" Anna asked.
"No. You died." Kurt told her
"But what if I didn't?" Anna persisted.
"You died. Shut up. I'm Sheriff. You died." Everyone in the kitchen, including Anna, laughed. The three kids ate, chattering on about random facts about their day. After they finished their cake and ice cream, they decided to go upstairs and play in Kurt and Anna's room for a little while. Kurt got out his power rangers and Anna pulled out her Barbie dolls.
"Which power ranger do you wanna be?" Kurt asked Jeff.
"Can I be the red one?" Jeff asked. Kurt smiled and handed it over, picking up the blue one for himself.
"You're letting Jeff be the red power ranger?" Anna asked in surprise.
"Yep." Kurt grinned.
"But you never let anyone be the red power ranger." Anna protested. Kurt shrugged and scooted close to her.
"Do you wanna be the red power ranger, Kurt?" Jeff asked, looking at Kurt.
"No, that's okay. I get to be him all the time. You can this time. I'll be him next time. We'll just share." Kurt smiled and attacked one of Anna's Barbie dolls. She retaliated with her Ken doll, but Ken was no match for the red and blue power rangers. The three battled with their dolls for a little while, coming up with impossible scenarios that involved dinosaurs, giant bugs, and lava.
"Lava! The floor is lava!" Anna screamed and jumped up on her bed. Kurt squealed and ran to his bed.
"Jeff! Come on!" Jeff jumped onto Anna's bed and stared down at the floor. Kurt leaped from his bed to Anna's and giggled. The three of them began jumping back and forth between Kurt and Anna's beds until Elizabeth came in. As soon as they heard the door open, their smiles feel and the three of them froze. They silently dropped down on the bed and sat hushed, pretending not to notice Elizabeth.
"Jeff, honey?" Elizabeth smiled. Kurt looked up at his mother, and her smile only grew wider. She had seen them, of course.
"Yes, Mrs. Hummel?" Jeff asked, turning his body to look at her.
"Your mother is here. Do you have all your things?" She asked him. He patted himself down and checked his holsters. Then he felt the top of his head.
"My hat. I think I left it downstairs."
"Okay, well we'll get it when we go down there. Are you all ready to go?" Jeff looked back at Kurt, who was frowning. He wasn't ready for Jeff to go home just yet. They were having so much fun. Jeff turned back and looked at Elizabeth.
"Yes, Mrs. Hummel." Jeff slid off the bed. Kurt and Anna quickly followed.
"Maybe you could stay the night some time," Elizabeth told Jeff as the four of them walked down the stairs.
"Could I?" Jeff asked, looking up at her in surprise.
"Sure. Kurt would like that, wouldn't you honey?" She asked, turning to look at Kurt.
"Yes!" Kurt grinned.
Elizabeth stooped and picked up Jeff's cowboy hat off the floor, brushing it off lightly and handing it to Jeff. He thanked her and went to his mother. Elizabeth and Jeff's mother stood talking for a few minutes. Kurt's and Jeff's eyes lit up when the two talked about a play date in the near future. Jeff hugged Kurt and Anna, quickly saying goodbye, and then Jeff left.
It wasn't long before Elizabeth pushed Kurt into taking a bath and then settled him into bed. He was quickly followed by Anna, who had put up more of a fight. Elizabeth read them Goldie Locks and the Three Bears, kissed them both and then left. Kurt turned on his side to face Anna, and she turned on her side to face him.
"What's it like being five?" Anna asked Kurt.
"It doesn't really feel very different." Kurt assured her.
"I can't wait 'til I'm five."
"You can have a big party, too!"
"Yep. I'll even invite Jeff." Anna giggled.
"Really?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah, I like him."
"Me too. He's fun to play with." Kurt told her.
"I think he likes you." Anna told Kurt.
"Good. I hope so. 'Cause I like him." Kurt smiled. Anna bit her lip, knowing that Kurt didn't know what she meant. She just shrugged and closed her eyes.
"Night, Kurt."
"Night, Anna." Kurt yawned and closed his eyes. His last thought before he dozed off was that this was the best birthday he'd ever had, and there would never be a better one.