3 Umbrella Soldiers stand in the auditorium of Raccoon city high school
I do not own Resident Evil
" Hello kids were part of the UBCS and were here to teach you what to do in case of a Zombie outbreak which likely will not happen my name is Sarge the he is Doughnut and that is Church " The Leader says
" Now we come to our first topic Identifying a Zombie if he looks dead sounds dead or acts dead then he is probably a Zombie and by all means bash him over the head with anything you can find " Sarge says
" Yes Baseball Bats and other sports equipment make perfect weapons against Zombies " Church says
" but if you do not own any sporting equipment never fear there are many good substitutes like your TV that always works " Sarge says
" The TV!? You people are crazy how could you sacrifice the TV " Doughnut says
" Doughnut shut up your just here to make us look cool " Church says
" Anyway back on subject another great weapon and my personal favorite Guns!! " Sarge says
" Guns are very effective against the undead but they require ammo so Umbrella Reccomends Hand to hand we- " Church says
" Screw Hand To Hand use a gun it works better its funner and you can bash the undead prick in the head with it " Sarge says
" But sir " Church says
" Quiet Church that's an order not like I was saying- " Sarge says
" Sir!! " Church says
" What is it Church!! " Sarge yells
Church points at a zombie
" here is a fine demonstration folks Doughnut gimme a gun " Sarge says
" You did'nt say please " Doughnut says
" Doughnut gimme an effing gun!! " Sarge yells
Doughnut hands Sarge a gun
Sarge aims it at the Zombie and pulls the trigger but only a click is heard
" Dammnit Doughnut theres no bullets in this gun!! " Sarge yells
" S-Sir its getting closer " Church says
" Well ladies and gentlemen our last segment of this presentation when you run out of bullets Run the Hell Away!! " Sarge yells dashing off the stage as multiple zombies burst onto the stage
" Umbrella is not to blame if these skill don't do squat to help you survive " Church says quickly following Sarge