A/N: I had totally forgotten that I wrote this, but I found it while I looked through my old Livejournal posts. I thought I might as well post it here, after a bit of editing. It's just a silly one-shot. It also might help to know who Captain Planet is... but it might be better if you don't clog your brain with useless information like that. x)
America checked his watch and smiled. Thirty minutes late. Perfect! The global warming meeting was almost finished. He peered in through the conference hall windows, taking great care not to be seen. The meeting appeared to be a total disaster, as expected.
England and France were yelling at the top of their lungs, Russia and Belarus were threatening the Baltic states, and South Italy was mocking a frustrated Germany while Spain and North Italy were off to the side, oblivious as always. Then there was Japan and China, who were glaring at each other from across the table so intently you could almost see sparks flying from their eyes, while Switzerland sat next to Japan, swinging around his gun and muttering unintelligibly. America could also see Austria, angrily playing his piano in a corner of the room.
He hurried over to the door, then paused to go over his excuse— an excuse that would surely anger the other nations. Jeez, what would they do without me? Well, here goes...
"It's all right, guys! The hero has arrived!" America exclaimed as he burst into the room.
The nations all simultaneously turned their attention, and anger, to the boisterous young nation.
"America, do you know what time it is?" Austria hissed from across the room.
South Italy sneered, "What were you doing? Playing with your little planes?"
"I'm sure America-san has a good reason for his tardiness," Japan reasoned, although his tone was slightly sarcastic.
"Well, what was it?" Germany asked gruffly, shooting America a disapproving look.
America grinned, "Well, I was watching Captain Planet! I thought it would give me ideas on how to handle this environmental crisis! Plus, it has a cool American in it!" He gave the rest of the nations a thumbs up and then walked over to his seat.
The nations had all ceased fighting and were now laughing at America.
"Oh, America! You are so very childish... so naive!" France exclaimed, then flashed America a predatory smile that made the young nation shudder.
In between peals of laughter China managed to ask, "So, what did Captain Planet teach you? What's your plan, aru?"
America stood up and pointed dramatically at the ceiling, "We need to harness the power of Earth, Fire, Water, Wind, and Heart, so justice and righteousness may defeat the oppression of global warming!" This outburst sent the room reeling once more.
"America! You're always so funny!" Hungary exclaimed from her place at Austria's side.
Good, its working... it always does, America thought to himself. He looked around the room. The nations had forgotten their previous spats and were now smiling and laughing. This made America happy, even though they were all laughing at him.
As his eyes traveled around the room he noticed one nation that wasn't laughing. England was sitting directly across from America and staring at him curiously, which made America so uncomfortable he averted his gaze.
"Well, I think it's time for this conference to come to a close!" Germany said as he stood up. "Thanks for the entertainment, America," he added. The other nations rose from their seats as well and began to make their way to the door. A couple of them walked up to America and thanked him for an interesting meeting.
America beamed as he watched them leave. He went to collect his papers, which contained his real thoughts on the crisis, as the room emptied out. The conference hall was silent, but America couldn't shake the feeling that he wasn't alone. He looked up to see England still sitting, still watching.
"England! Is there a problem?" America asked. The Briton was staring at him so hard it seemed like he was trying to bore a hole through his glasses.
"Why do you do it?" England asked.
"Do what?"
"Pretend to be such a git."
"I don't know what you mean..."
"Quit playing. I know you better than anyone."
America was taken aback and, for the first time, speechless. When he finally gathered himself he managed to spit out, "You're crazy." He hastily grabbed his papers and made his way to the exit, but England rushed to block the door.
The two men stared at each other silently. Several minutes passed.
Finally, England put his hand on America's shoulder and smiled. It had been a long time since America had seen England smile so genuinely.
"Nice job, America. But next time, don't lay it on so thick."