Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: Did anyone else notice that Tommy and Jase seemed to have not seen each other for awhile in Forever Red? Well, here's my answer as to why. There's also a bit of filling in as to why Jason could morph without, you know, killing himself in the process. Some things aren't explained though, like how the hell their were horses on the moon or how the Rangers managed to breath the moon's atmosphere and fight like that without worrying about that little thing called gravity.
And thanks to Shawn for the inspiration! :)
Forever Red
A Moment After: Welcome Home
It was late when Jason arrived back at his motel room and he was starting to feel the effects of the day. He was beyond exhausted at this point, had been ready to crash shortly after the battle when the adrenaline wore off but the guys had insisted on going out for dinner after the mission and Jason couldn't say no. He didn't exactly have a choice! Andros had badgered him into telling some stories about the original team.
'He knows what's been going on though.' Jason sighed. He had, over the past year, gotten to know the other man well and should have known that he wasn't going to allow him to slink off and avoid joining in on the fun part of the reunion.
Like Tommy had.
Jason sighed as he fumbled tiredly with his keys. He had so wanted to speak to his old friend. There was a lot he had to explain. Disappearing for a year wasn't something you could do without complications.
"I was wondering when you'd get back."
Startled, Jason whirled around, nearly dropping his keys. Speak of the devil. "Tommy."
"Did I miss out on a lot?" Tommy asked conversationally.
"A bit." Jason told him. "There were some pretty good stories told tonight."
"You were kind, I hope." Tommy grinned slightly. He had heard the parting conversation as he had walked away. He knew how much bragging must have been done at that dinner, and that Jason probably hadn't been able to resist putting in a few not so flattering stories about him as well.
"As kind as you would have been." Jason replied with an answering smile.
"Uh-oh. My reputation's short for sure!" Tommy let them have that moment, that flashback to happier times, but he fell serious again too soon in Jason's opinion. "We need to talk, bro."
Jason nodded. "I know."
Sighing he open the door to his room, "Come on in. It's probably not what you're used to anymore but it's not bad."
Tommy smiled wanly at that. Jason had sure enjoyed teasing him about his more luxurious accommodations when he came for a visit to a race. Of course, that was after Tommy started winning. Before that well...Let's just say he'd been in classier places.
"When did you check into this place?" Tommy wondered aloud.
"Just before I joined you guys." Jason replied, throwing his jacket on one of the two beds.
"So that's why you were late." Tommy snickered.
"I know that's usually your job but I had to make some kind of an entrance. Couldn't let you have all the spotlight could I?" Jason teased.
Tommy groaned. "Don't start with that again."
"I didn't say anything about you being a showboat but now that you mention it..." Jason grinned devilishly. "We sure burst Cole's bubble about you being the greatest Ranger. He wasn't so impressed when I told him that Dulcea knocked you flat with one move."
"Aw man." Tommy mock scowled at his friend. "Why do you have to go ruin my reputation like that, Jase!? What did I ever do to you?"
Jason just smiled and shook his head in amusement. For a moment his eyes met Tommy's and something beyond words passed between them, making the two men fall serious again. Tommy walked over to Jason and pulled him into a brief, bone crushing hug.
"I've missed you." Tommy told him when they parted. "You were gone too long."
Jason nodded slowly. "I know. I'm sorry."
"Why?" Tommy asked, his hurt betrayed in that one word. "We would have helped you. I would have done anything...Everyone was so worried when you just left like that."
"I know. I handled it, everything, wrong. I just..." Jason sighed. "I couldn't deal with what happened, with anything anymore. I needed to get away. I needed to just...divorce myself from everything I was used to so I could get away from what happened."
"You've thought this over." Tommy observed.
"I've had the time." Jason laughed a little bitterly. "I got hurt and ran away from the pain like a coward. Only I couldn't escape it. Running away like that though...it might have been a good idea after all except..."
"You were alone." Tommy finished.
Jason looked at him a bit surprised. "Yeah."
Tommy smiled a little. "You never have liked being alone, not for a long time. You've always been surrounded by people who love and support you. It can't have been easier leaving that behind, especially the way you did which was not the right way to do it."
Jason blushed. "I know. I justified it to myself at the time by telling myself everyone would be better off without me around trying to cope but that was never true. I just didn't want anyone following me so I didn't leave a forwarding address."
"And if you ever pull something like that again I'll..." Jason looked up at the sound of Tommy's voice. It didn't carry a threat but so much hurt that Jason wanted to kick himself.
Jason had forgotten, in his haste to just get away, that by leaving he would hurt his friends, especially Tommy who had spent every single moment he could with him since after...after the accident.
Jason closed his eyes briefly in regret. He knew, and had known then, how much it took for Tommy to get as close to someone as he had to him. He knew Tommy had been hurting with him, would have held him up for as long as needed and helped him heal if he hadn't run away. He had left a way for his friends to get in touch with him but it was only an e-mail address and he had made it clear in the note he had left that unless it was a real emergency he would most likely not get back to them.
That was the thing he had regretted most. It was cold and selfish and not like the normal him at all. After the accident the normal Jason had disappeared for awhile but he still felt like the biggest bastard in the world for doing that.
"I'm sorry." Jason whispered.
Tommy sighed. He knew his friend was still hurting badly. Could see it the body language he gave off and the undertones of that deep, even voice. It had been a year; that did not mean Tommy didn't know how to read his friend anymore. He normally wasn't good at reading people like that but Jason was different.
Jason he had taken the time to learn. That's why it hurt him so much when he had run away instead of turning to his friends for support. He knew he would forgive Jason for that, had mostly already had because he knew what the other man was going through, but he wasn't ready to completely yet.
"Where did you go? You better have taken good care of yourself. You'll hear about it from Kim if you didn't." Tommy asked, settling for a slightly lighter topic.
"Trifonia." Jason replied, surprising Tommy completely.
"What?" Tommy exclaimed.
"I wasn't planning to. I was packing and I didn't know where I was going to go and then Trey showed up to say good bye before he left and...I don't know." Jason sighed, running a hand through his hair. "He offered to take me with him. He knew I needed to get away, he could sense it, but I don't think he thought I would be gone for more than a few days or he wouldn't have agreed to it."
"And?" Tommy was relieved. He knew Trey would have looked out for Jason. The fact that they had shared the Gold ranger powers coupled with that fact that Trifonians were a slightly telepathic and empathetic race left them with a slight bond. It was like one cousins or other such relatives would have on Trifonia, but it was enough to mean Jason was well taken care of when he was with Trey.
"And I stayed on Trifonia for most of the time. I briefly visited Eltare because Trey insisted I go with him." Jason smiled fondly. Trey had been a very good friend to him. It wasn't the same as having Tommy or Billy or one of the gang around but it had helped him. "I was left alone most of the time, though I know Trey kept close tabs on me, and learning about Trifonia more helped keep my mind off...things. I've learned more about other planets than I ever needed to know."
Tommy chuckled very briefly at that and they shared a small grin. "That wasn't my doing. Trey kept giving me books. To keep my mind off what had happened and that I had left...I did feel guilty about leaving."
"I figured you would." Tommy commented. "Kim came up with a theory about why actually. She thinks everything here and all of us were just too close, to both you and Trini. I guess...I guess Trey was a friend before this but he wasn't that good a friend. We only knew him for a short time. It kind of makes sense that you would go with him once he offered you a place to stay."
Jason nodded mutely. After a moment of silence Tommy moved closer to him and slung an arm over his shoulders. "How are you feeling after morphing?"
"Fine." Jason answered. Tommy raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I'm a bit worn out but I knew I would be. Trey did some tests to make sure I could morph without hurting myself. Zordon's dea…The Wave repaired any lasting damage from the Gold Ranger powers and restored the Dino Coins so when I got your message I knew I had to come back. Trey wasn't sure what side effects morphing again would have on me, he figured it might be slightly more taxing on me than you or the others, but he knew I wouldn't get hurt."
"Are there any side effects?" Tommy questioned, peering at Jason carefully.
"Other than being exhausted now? No. I'm fine physically. Really." Jason assured him.
"What about emotionally?" Tommy asked gently. "I know you're still hurting badly, Jase. And I know it's natural to grieve and that it will probably always be painful to think about but for you it was so bad you had to leave. And now, over a year later, I'm not sure you would have come back if it weren't for this mission. So, what happened? Why did Trini's death hurt you so much?"
Jason sighed. "I loved her, Tom, and she loved me."
"I know that but I know you too. That isn't enough to make you feel you needed to run away." Tommy sighed. "All of us lost something that day, you more than anyone else, but it goes beyond just losing your girlfriend, I know that. Tell me what happened. It might help; I'll do everything I can to help."
"You can't." Jason's voice was small. "You honestly can't help but…but it is time I told someone. I haven't told anyone what had happened…"
"Talk to me, bro."
"I had proposed." Jason swallowed, remembering what had been the best night of his life. "I gave her a locket instead of a ring; you know how she always hated rings. She was...buried wearing it. After..."
Tommy waited, letting Jason regain control. He squeezed his friend's shoulder in support, wishing he could have done this a year ago.
"After she said yes I put the necklace on. She looked at me and her face just glowed. She told me we'd have to have the wedding soon because...because if we didn't she would start to show." Jason leaned further into Tommy's support as he remembered what it had been like to be the luckiest man alive for that too short period. "She was three months pregnant, Tom."
"Oh God, Jase." Tommy nearly moaned.
Kim was just at the point where he could feel their baby kick inside her. He remembered how ecstatic he had been to find out he was going to be a father and the way he had fussed over Kim that first day, continuously putting his hand on her still flat stomach in awe. Even though she laughed every time he'd done it she did the same thing in an unconscious reaction to knowing she carried their unborn child inside her. She was now feeling some of the nastier aspects of pregnancy but Tommy was still stuck in that overjoyed awed stage of knowing he was going to have a little being he'd created to hold soon.
Jason had known that for less than a day before having it cruelly ripped away from him by the senseless act of a drunk driver. Tommy's heart bled for his best friend. It was a pain he could not even bring himself to imagine.
Tommy hugged him tighter and pressed a kiss against the side of his forehead. He knew there were no words he would offer to make it better. Instead he told him what they had never spoken aloud before. It wasn't as much as Tommy wanted to give him but he had often wished Jason had had the knowledge with him when he had disappeared.
"I love you, Jase." Tommy murmured. "If I could take away your pain, if I could stop what happened, I would in a second. I would trade my life for hers---theirs if I could."
Jason let out a shaky breath. He placed his arms over Tommy's, squeezing gently. "As much as I would do nearly anything to have my Trini and...and my baby back I would never, ever trade your life for theirs. Too many people need and love you. Your life is a sacrifice I could never find in me to make. And...I love you too, bro. I hope you know that."
Tommy drew back slightly to study his friend for a few moments. There were no tears on the naked face. Jason had long ago cried out all his tears into the lonely, listening night. Those dark eyes, though, they held more than enough pain to make up for the lack of moisture in them.
Gently, pushing the dark head to rest on his shoulder, Tommy let relax against him. Normally Tommy would never be this tender with anyone except his wife, but Jason was exhausted, more taxed from the battle than he was because of the slight strain morphing had on his body, and it had been so long since he could offer his friend any sort of comfort...Letting the heavy body fade towards sleep in his arms just felt like the right thing to do in that moment.
Jason realized foggily he was falling asleep. But accepting the comfort he had denied himself for too long felt too good. He could not compel himself to move, nor did he really want to. His heavy eye lids were sliding shut when Tommy spoke once more, bringing a smile to his face even as he drifted into dreams.
"Welcome home, bro."
*****
It was early in the morning when Tommy's cell phone rang, waking both men up rather abruptly. Shooting Jason a slightly embarrassed smile as he shot up, startled by the rude awakening, he answered the noisy machine.
"Hello?" He answered groggily.
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?" An extremely peeved voice demanded.
"Kim?" Tommy mumbled.
"Do you have any idea what it's like, waiting and waiting and waiting to hear how a mission that could have been dangerous went?" Kim asked. "Do you have any idea what it's like to be waiting all night for your husband to call you and then to get no word? Do you?!"
"Shit."
"Shit is right. You're lucky it's me not Kat. She was on the phone to me earlier. She'd really tear a strip off you. Why the hell did you turn your cell phone off?"
"No element of surprise if it rang." Tommy shrugged. Jason snickered softly at the mental image of Tommy's cell going off as they snuck through the Machine Empire's base. "I'm in the dog house aren't I?"
"Damn right." Kim replied, slightly less forcefully. She had been more worried than angry really. "Where are you anyway?"
"At Jason's motel."
"What are you doing there at...Jason? Did you say Jason?" Kim demanded.
"Yes I..."
"Oh my God! Let me talk to him! Is he all right? When did he get back?" There was a slight pause. "You knew Jason was back and you didn't phone me right away?! Tommy!"
"I was kind of busy and..."
"That is no excuse! You know how worried we've all been. We did promise that whoever found him would get in touch with everyone else right away."
"And there's no service on the Mega Ship."
"Oh, well, yes, that is an excuse you can use. Now, LET ME TALK TO JASON!"
Tommy handed the phone over to his friend, glad to get away from the conversation. Normally Kim was much more pleasant. But normally she hadn't been up for two days straight and wasn't very worried and very pregnant. Tommy often wondered how he would manage to survive the mood swings and cravings of his wife now that she was going through a hormonal roller coaster.
For a few moments it was quite funny listening to the one sided conversation especially since Tommy knew his wife was giving Jason a good scolding. He figured it had not been a very good night for her, made worse by the fast that he had been dumb enough to forget to call her after he had debriefed the other people involved in their mission while the other Red Ranger went out for dinner. Even he was normally better at remembering things that important.
But then Jason's face fell a little, though he tried to keep it steady, and a second later he wordless handed Tommy the phone.
"You bring him here. Now. I have to give him a hug. Love you."
"Love you too." Tommy barely had time to get the words out before Kim hung up the phone. Oh, he would be living this one down for awhile yet.
"Kim has to give you a hug." Tommy told his friend, carefully slipping and arm around Jason's shoulders. He felt the other man lean slightly against him, drawing support.
"Okay." Jason replied quietly. "Congratulations, by the way. I'm sorry I didn't have more to say when you e-mailed me I just..."
"Its okay, Jase. I understand why it would have been hard." Tommy assured him. At the time, the brief acknowledgement of Kim's pregnancy had hurt, especially since two lines in an e-mail was all Tommy had heard from his best friend in six months even though he e-mailed him almost daily.
"No, it's not okay." Jason rose stiffly and ran a shaky hand through his dark hair. "I shouldn't have left like that and not answering those e-mails you sent me. That was just low."
"Grief makes you do funny things." Tommy shrugged he got up and placed a gentle hand on the broad shoulder. "And, after awhile, I wasn't writing you for a reply. I just wanted to remind you that there were still people who cared about you back home."
Jason shuddered slightly at that. He wasn't sure what he done to make friends like the ones he had but he was sure as hell glad he had. He knew that he would have to mend some fences because of what he did but he knew that he would be given the chance to and for that he would be eternally grateful.
"I'm glad you showed up for the mission I wasn't sure you were going to." Tommy admitted quietly.
"You didn't think I was going to let you do this without the original Red Ranger, didja?" Jason said lightly, giving them a brief smile to share. "I couldn't let you do it without someone to watch your back."
Tommy knew Jason was being sincere at that. It seemed like eons ago now but it had to do with a promise Jason had made when Tommy lost the Green Ranger powers for the first time. Tommy had been completely depressed, sure that the friends he now relied so heavily on were going to abandon him because of his lost powers, and Jason had been the one to get through to him first, swearing that no matter what power he did or didn't have he would always, always, watch his back and he fully expected Tommy to do the same. Once repeated enough Tommy realized he was still an active member of the group, powers or no.
"Just like I've got yours bro." Tommy replied firmly. He hesitated for a moment then asked the question that had been burning in his mind since Jason first appeared, other than whose motorcycle he had been riding. "Are you home for good or are you leaving again?"
"I'm home and I don't want to leave." Jason sighed. "Trey's been after me for months to come back but I kept insisting I wasn't ready to. When you wrote about the mission though, I knew I had to come back. I'm glad I did. It just feels...right to be back. I'm staying. I belong here."
Tommy sighed in relief. Those words were music to his ears. "Good."
For a moment they just looked at each other and then, very slowly, smiles spread over both their faces. Tommy grabbed Jason in a tight bear hug again. Jason hugged him back and knew, somehow, that he had just been forgiven, at least by Tommy.
They untangled themselves a very short while later reluctantly. Neither wanted to lose that little moment where they realized that life had thrown them together once again. Both were glad of that, it made everything so much easier to bear knowing that the other would be there to help shoulder the load if needed.
"Come on, if I don't take you to Kim she'll have me shot." Tommy told him.
The ride to Tommy and Kim's modest house was nearly silent. Tommy had easily convinced Jason not to take his bike since it was raining a little. It wasn't a long car ride but it was through the neighbourhood Jason had grown up in.
He spent most of the car ride with his head leaning on the cool glass of the truck window, watching the familiar sights pass by. It was surreal. It felt like a year but at the same time it didn't...Jason sighed. No matter what it was time to face things now. He had spent enough time avoiding them.
A warm hand covered his and squeezed gently. He glanced at Tommy who shot him a reassuring smile as the stopped at a red light. Jason smiled back. No matter what he would be okay, he knew that.
Almost before they pulled into the driveway the front door flew open and Kim bounded, or waddle-bounded, to the truck and fiercely hugged her husband even though he was still half inside the truck.
"Don't you ever, EVER, do that to me again!" She scolded, holding him as closely as her belly would allow.
"Sorry, beautiful." Tommy apologized somewhat meekly. He may have been the 'legendary Tommy Oliver' but he wasn't stupid enough to go up against Kim, especially now!
"And you!" Kim turned on Jason, who was now standing at the hood of the truck. "You come here, right now, and give me a hug. I'll save the lecture for later, but not much later, you get it?"
"Yes Ma'am." Jason quirked a grin as he complied, surprised at just how bone crunching Kim's hug was.
"You better not disappear like that again." Kim murmured as she semi released him, still keeping a firm grasp of his hand.
"I don't plan on it." Jason said softly.
"Good." Kim glanced at her husband who was trying in vain to hide the wide grin that threatened to nearly split his face in two. "Do you boys feel like some breakfast? Pancakes maybe?"
"Sure!" Tommy exclaimed. An offer for breakfast was not what he had been expecting at all.
"Great. You're making it." Kim replied with a sweet smile.
Tommy sighed. He should have expected that. Really he should have...
It was after breakfast, which Tommy did make, that Kim noticed, quite forcefully, someone was getting active.
"Tom, the baby's kicking." Kim called to him as he and Jason were loading the dishwasher.
A goofy grin immediately sneaked onto Tommy's face and he couldn't help but rush into the other room. He'd felt their baby moving many times before but it still always caught him completely off guard to feel it again. Jason followed him quickly, an almost indulgent smile on his face. It was bittersweet for him. He might regret that he had never gotten the chance to feel his own child move within his beautiful Trini but he was happy for his friends.
Kim giggled at the expression on her husband's face as he rested his hand on her stomach. He just smiled at her not really caring that the expression on his face was one of complete comical joy. For a moment the two soon to be parents shared a tender glance then Kim's eyes moved to Jason, who was standing back awkwardly.
"Come feel the baby." Kim told him. "It's about time the little one meets his future uncle."
Jason grinned at that and stepped forward to place a trembling hand on Kim's large belly. Almost immediately he felt a sharp kick under his hand.
"Woah! You've got a future Power Ranger in there Kim!" Jason chuckled, everything forgotten for a moment except the happiness he felt for two of his dearest friends.
Kim groaned. "That's what Tommy always says!"
"It's true!" Tommy added. Kim just rolled her eyes.
Jason smothered a laugh at the two of them. "Have you found out what sex it's going to be?"
"Yes..." Tommy began.
"He wanted it to be a surprise but I refused to let my baby be called 'it' for nine months." Kim filled in. "It's a girl."
"And, unless you have any objections, we were going to name her Trini." Tommy told him gently, placing a warm hand on Jason's shoulder as shock spread over the other man's face. "It's the only name that's felt right to us."
"Wow." Jason murmured his eyes still on Kim's swollen belly. He felt movement under his hand and a tiny smile crept over his face. "I don't know what to say. That would be just..." Jason had to swallow. "I think she would have been completely honoured by that. Thank you."
Tommy smiled softly and exchanged a glance with Kim. "It's no problem, bro. You're family and so was she. It's the least we can do."
Jason had to blink a few times to clear his eyes of their sudden overabundance of water. Tommy's other hand come to rest on other shoulder and the warm voice echoed the comment he had made last night. "Welcome home, Jase."
Author's Notes: Did anyone else notice that Tommy and Jase seemed to have not seen each other for awhile in Forever Red? Well, here's my answer as to why. There's also a bit of filling in as to why Jason could morph without, you know, killing himself in the process. Some things aren't explained though, like how the hell their were horses on the moon or how the Rangers managed to breath the moon's atmosphere and fight like that without worrying about that little thing called gravity.
And thanks to Shawn for the inspiration! :)
Forever Red
A Moment After: Welcome Home
It was late when Jason arrived back at his motel room and he was starting to feel the effects of the day. He was beyond exhausted at this point, had been ready to crash shortly after the battle when the adrenaline wore off but the guys had insisted on going out for dinner after the mission and Jason couldn't say no. He didn't exactly have a choice! Andros had badgered him into telling some stories about the original team.
'He knows what's been going on though.' Jason sighed. He had, over the past year, gotten to know the other man well and should have known that he wasn't going to allow him to slink off and avoid joining in on the fun part of the reunion.
Like Tommy had.
Jason sighed as he fumbled tiredly with his keys. He had so wanted to speak to his old friend. There was a lot he had to explain. Disappearing for a year wasn't something you could do without complications.
"I was wondering when you'd get back."
Startled, Jason whirled around, nearly dropping his keys. Speak of the devil. "Tommy."
"Did I miss out on a lot?" Tommy asked conversationally.
"A bit." Jason told him. "There were some pretty good stories told tonight."
"You were kind, I hope." Tommy grinned slightly. He had heard the parting conversation as he had walked away. He knew how much bragging must have been done at that dinner, and that Jason probably hadn't been able to resist putting in a few not so flattering stories about him as well.
"As kind as you would have been." Jason replied with an answering smile.
"Uh-oh. My reputation's short for sure!" Tommy let them have that moment, that flashback to happier times, but he fell serious again too soon in Jason's opinion. "We need to talk, bro."
Jason nodded. "I know."
Sighing he open the door to his room, "Come on in. It's probably not what you're used to anymore but it's not bad."
Tommy smiled wanly at that. Jason had sure enjoyed teasing him about his more luxurious accommodations when he came for a visit to a race. Of course, that was after Tommy started winning. Before that well...Let's just say he'd been in classier places.
"When did you check into this place?" Tommy wondered aloud.
"Just before I joined you guys." Jason replied, throwing his jacket on one of the two beds.
"So that's why you were late." Tommy snickered.
"I know that's usually your job but I had to make some kind of an entrance. Couldn't let you have all the spotlight could I?" Jason teased.
Tommy groaned. "Don't start with that again."
"I didn't say anything about you being a showboat but now that you mention it..." Jason grinned devilishly. "We sure burst Cole's bubble about you being the greatest Ranger. He wasn't so impressed when I told him that Dulcea knocked you flat with one move."
"Aw man." Tommy mock scowled at his friend. "Why do you have to go ruin my reputation like that, Jase!? What did I ever do to you?"
Jason just smiled and shook his head in amusement. For a moment his eyes met Tommy's and something beyond words passed between them, making the two men fall serious again. Tommy walked over to Jason and pulled him into a brief, bone crushing hug.
"I've missed you." Tommy told him when they parted. "You were gone too long."
Jason nodded slowly. "I know. I'm sorry."
"Why?" Tommy asked, his hurt betrayed in that one word. "We would have helped you. I would have done anything...Everyone was so worried when you just left like that."
"I know. I handled it, everything, wrong. I just..." Jason sighed. "I couldn't deal with what happened, with anything anymore. I needed to get away. I needed to just...divorce myself from everything I was used to so I could get away from what happened."
"You've thought this over." Tommy observed.
"I've had the time." Jason laughed a little bitterly. "I got hurt and ran away from the pain like a coward. Only I couldn't escape it. Running away like that though...it might have been a good idea after all except..."
"You were alone." Tommy finished.
Jason looked at him a bit surprised. "Yeah."
Tommy smiled a little. "You never have liked being alone, not for a long time. You've always been surrounded by people who love and support you. It can't have been easier leaving that behind, especially the way you did which was not the right way to do it."
Jason blushed. "I know. I justified it to myself at the time by telling myself everyone would be better off without me around trying to cope but that was never true. I just didn't want anyone following me so I didn't leave a forwarding address."
"And if you ever pull something like that again I'll..." Jason looked up at the sound of Tommy's voice. It didn't carry a threat but so much hurt that Jason wanted to kick himself.
Jason had forgotten, in his haste to just get away, that by leaving he would hurt his friends, especially Tommy who had spent every single moment he could with him since after...after the accident.
Jason closed his eyes briefly in regret. He knew, and had known then, how much it took for Tommy to get as close to someone as he had to him. He knew Tommy had been hurting with him, would have held him up for as long as needed and helped him heal if he hadn't run away. He had left a way for his friends to get in touch with him but it was only an e-mail address and he had made it clear in the note he had left that unless it was a real emergency he would most likely not get back to them.
That was the thing he had regretted most. It was cold and selfish and not like the normal him at all. After the accident the normal Jason had disappeared for awhile but he still felt like the biggest bastard in the world for doing that.
"I'm sorry." Jason whispered.
Tommy sighed. He knew his friend was still hurting badly. Could see it the body language he gave off and the undertones of that deep, even voice. It had been a year; that did not mean Tommy didn't know how to read his friend anymore. He normally wasn't good at reading people like that but Jason was different.
Jason he had taken the time to learn. That's why it hurt him so much when he had run away instead of turning to his friends for support. He knew he would forgive Jason for that, had mostly already had because he knew what the other man was going through, but he wasn't ready to completely yet.
"Where did you go? You better have taken good care of yourself. You'll hear about it from Kim if you didn't." Tommy asked, settling for a slightly lighter topic.
"Trifonia." Jason replied, surprising Tommy completely.
"What?" Tommy exclaimed.
"I wasn't planning to. I was packing and I didn't know where I was going to go and then Trey showed up to say good bye before he left and...I don't know." Jason sighed, running a hand through his hair. "He offered to take me with him. He knew I needed to get away, he could sense it, but I don't think he thought I would be gone for more than a few days or he wouldn't have agreed to it."
"And?" Tommy was relieved. He knew Trey would have looked out for Jason. The fact that they had shared the Gold ranger powers coupled with that fact that Trifonians were a slightly telepathic and empathetic race left them with a slight bond. It was like one cousins or other such relatives would have on Trifonia, but it was enough to mean Jason was well taken care of when he was with Trey.
"And I stayed on Trifonia for most of the time. I briefly visited Eltare because Trey insisted I go with him." Jason smiled fondly. Trey had been a very good friend to him. It wasn't the same as having Tommy or Billy or one of the gang around but it had helped him. "I was left alone most of the time, though I know Trey kept close tabs on me, and learning about Trifonia more helped keep my mind off...things. I've learned more about other planets than I ever needed to know."
Tommy chuckled very briefly at that and they shared a small grin. "That wasn't my doing. Trey kept giving me books. To keep my mind off what had happened and that I had left...I did feel guilty about leaving."
"I figured you would." Tommy commented. "Kim came up with a theory about why actually. She thinks everything here and all of us were just too close, to both you and Trini. I guess...I guess Trey was a friend before this but he wasn't that good a friend. We only knew him for a short time. It kind of makes sense that you would go with him once he offered you a place to stay."
Jason nodded mutely. After a moment of silence Tommy moved closer to him and slung an arm over his shoulders. "How are you feeling after morphing?"
"Fine." Jason answered. Tommy raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I'm a bit worn out but I knew I would be. Trey did some tests to make sure I could morph without hurting myself. Zordon's dea…The Wave repaired any lasting damage from the Gold Ranger powers and restored the Dino Coins so when I got your message I knew I had to come back. Trey wasn't sure what side effects morphing again would have on me, he figured it might be slightly more taxing on me than you or the others, but he knew I wouldn't get hurt."
"Are there any side effects?" Tommy questioned, peering at Jason carefully.
"Other than being exhausted now? No. I'm fine physically. Really." Jason assured him.
"What about emotionally?" Tommy asked gently. "I know you're still hurting badly, Jase. And I know it's natural to grieve and that it will probably always be painful to think about but for you it was so bad you had to leave. And now, over a year later, I'm not sure you would have come back if it weren't for this mission. So, what happened? Why did Trini's death hurt you so much?"
Jason sighed. "I loved her, Tom, and she loved me."
"I know that but I know you too. That isn't enough to make you feel you needed to run away." Tommy sighed. "All of us lost something that day, you more than anyone else, but it goes beyond just losing your girlfriend, I know that. Tell me what happened. It might help; I'll do everything I can to help."
"You can't." Jason's voice was small. "You honestly can't help but…but it is time I told someone. I haven't told anyone what had happened…"
"Talk to me, bro."
"I had proposed." Jason swallowed, remembering what had been the best night of his life. "I gave her a locket instead of a ring; you know how she always hated rings. She was...buried wearing it. After..."
Tommy waited, letting Jason regain control. He squeezed his friend's shoulder in support, wishing he could have done this a year ago.
"After she said yes I put the necklace on. She looked at me and her face just glowed. She told me we'd have to have the wedding soon because...because if we didn't she would start to show." Jason leaned further into Tommy's support as he remembered what it had been like to be the luckiest man alive for that too short period. "She was three months pregnant, Tom."
"Oh God, Jase." Tommy nearly moaned.
Kim was just at the point where he could feel their baby kick inside her. He remembered how ecstatic he had been to find out he was going to be a father and the way he had fussed over Kim that first day, continuously putting his hand on her still flat stomach in awe. Even though she laughed every time he'd done it she did the same thing in an unconscious reaction to knowing she carried their unborn child inside her. She was now feeling some of the nastier aspects of pregnancy but Tommy was still stuck in that overjoyed awed stage of knowing he was going to have a little being he'd created to hold soon.
Jason had known that for less than a day before having it cruelly ripped away from him by the senseless act of a drunk driver. Tommy's heart bled for his best friend. It was a pain he could not even bring himself to imagine.
Tommy hugged him tighter and pressed a kiss against the side of his forehead. He knew there were no words he would offer to make it better. Instead he told him what they had never spoken aloud before. It wasn't as much as Tommy wanted to give him but he had often wished Jason had had the knowledge with him when he had disappeared.
"I love you, Jase." Tommy murmured. "If I could take away your pain, if I could stop what happened, I would in a second. I would trade my life for hers---theirs if I could."
Jason let out a shaky breath. He placed his arms over Tommy's, squeezing gently. "As much as I would do nearly anything to have my Trini and...and my baby back I would never, ever trade your life for theirs. Too many people need and love you. Your life is a sacrifice I could never find in me to make. And...I love you too, bro. I hope you know that."
Tommy drew back slightly to study his friend for a few moments. There were no tears on the naked face. Jason had long ago cried out all his tears into the lonely, listening night. Those dark eyes, though, they held more than enough pain to make up for the lack of moisture in them.
Gently, pushing the dark head to rest on his shoulder, Tommy let relax against him. Normally Tommy would never be this tender with anyone except his wife, but Jason was exhausted, more taxed from the battle than he was because of the slight strain morphing had on his body, and it had been so long since he could offer his friend any sort of comfort...Letting the heavy body fade towards sleep in his arms just felt like the right thing to do in that moment.
Jason realized foggily he was falling asleep. But accepting the comfort he had denied himself for too long felt too good. He could not compel himself to move, nor did he really want to. His heavy eye lids were sliding shut when Tommy spoke once more, bringing a smile to his face even as he drifted into dreams.
"Welcome home, bro."
*****
It was early in the morning when Tommy's cell phone rang, waking both men up rather abruptly. Shooting Jason a slightly embarrassed smile as he shot up, startled by the rude awakening, he answered the noisy machine.
"Hello?" He answered groggily.
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?" An extremely peeved voice demanded.
"Kim?" Tommy mumbled.
"Do you have any idea what it's like, waiting and waiting and waiting to hear how a mission that could have been dangerous went?" Kim asked. "Do you have any idea what it's like to be waiting all night for your husband to call you and then to get no word? Do you?!"
"Shit."
"Shit is right. You're lucky it's me not Kat. She was on the phone to me earlier. She'd really tear a strip off you. Why the hell did you turn your cell phone off?"
"No element of surprise if it rang." Tommy shrugged. Jason snickered softly at the mental image of Tommy's cell going off as they snuck through the Machine Empire's base. "I'm in the dog house aren't I?"
"Damn right." Kim replied, slightly less forcefully. She had been more worried than angry really. "Where are you anyway?"
"At Jason's motel."
"What are you doing there at...Jason? Did you say Jason?" Kim demanded.
"Yes I..."
"Oh my God! Let me talk to him! Is he all right? When did he get back?" There was a slight pause. "You knew Jason was back and you didn't phone me right away?! Tommy!"
"I was kind of busy and..."
"That is no excuse! You know how worried we've all been. We did promise that whoever found him would get in touch with everyone else right away."
"And there's no service on the Mega Ship."
"Oh, well, yes, that is an excuse you can use. Now, LET ME TALK TO JASON!"
Tommy handed the phone over to his friend, glad to get away from the conversation. Normally Kim was much more pleasant. But normally she hadn't been up for two days straight and wasn't very worried and very pregnant. Tommy often wondered how he would manage to survive the mood swings and cravings of his wife now that she was going through a hormonal roller coaster.
For a few moments it was quite funny listening to the one sided conversation especially since Tommy knew his wife was giving Jason a good scolding. He figured it had not been a very good night for her, made worse by the fast that he had been dumb enough to forget to call her after he had debriefed the other people involved in their mission while the other Red Ranger went out for dinner. Even he was normally better at remembering things that important.
But then Jason's face fell a little, though he tried to keep it steady, and a second later he wordless handed Tommy the phone.
"You bring him here. Now. I have to give him a hug. Love you."
"Love you too." Tommy barely had time to get the words out before Kim hung up the phone. Oh, he would be living this one down for awhile yet.
"Kim has to give you a hug." Tommy told his friend, carefully slipping and arm around Jason's shoulders. He felt the other man lean slightly against him, drawing support.
"Okay." Jason replied quietly. "Congratulations, by the way. I'm sorry I didn't have more to say when you e-mailed me I just..."
"Its okay, Jase. I understand why it would have been hard." Tommy assured him. At the time, the brief acknowledgement of Kim's pregnancy had hurt, especially since two lines in an e-mail was all Tommy had heard from his best friend in six months even though he e-mailed him almost daily.
"No, it's not okay." Jason rose stiffly and ran a shaky hand through his dark hair. "I shouldn't have left like that and not answering those e-mails you sent me. That was just low."
"Grief makes you do funny things." Tommy shrugged he got up and placed a gentle hand on the broad shoulder. "And, after awhile, I wasn't writing you for a reply. I just wanted to remind you that there were still people who cared about you back home."
Jason shuddered slightly at that. He wasn't sure what he done to make friends like the ones he had but he was sure as hell glad he had. He knew that he would have to mend some fences because of what he did but he knew that he would be given the chance to and for that he would be eternally grateful.
"I'm glad you showed up for the mission I wasn't sure you were going to." Tommy admitted quietly.
"You didn't think I was going to let you do this without the original Red Ranger, didja?" Jason said lightly, giving them a brief smile to share. "I couldn't let you do it without someone to watch your back."
Tommy knew Jason was being sincere at that. It seemed like eons ago now but it had to do with a promise Jason had made when Tommy lost the Green Ranger powers for the first time. Tommy had been completely depressed, sure that the friends he now relied so heavily on were going to abandon him because of his lost powers, and Jason had been the one to get through to him first, swearing that no matter what power he did or didn't have he would always, always, watch his back and he fully expected Tommy to do the same. Once repeated enough Tommy realized he was still an active member of the group, powers or no.
"Just like I've got yours bro." Tommy replied firmly. He hesitated for a moment then asked the question that had been burning in his mind since Jason first appeared, other than whose motorcycle he had been riding. "Are you home for good or are you leaving again?"
"I'm home and I don't want to leave." Jason sighed. "Trey's been after me for months to come back but I kept insisting I wasn't ready to. When you wrote about the mission though, I knew I had to come back. I'm glad I did. It just feels...right to be back. I'm staying. I belong here."
Tommy sighed in relief. Those words were music to his ears. "Good."
For a moment they just looked at each other and then, very slowly, smiles spread over both their faces. Tommy grabbed Jason in a tight bear hug again. Jason hugged him back and knew, somehow, that he had just been forgiven, at least by Tommy.
They untangled themselves a very short while later reluctantly. Neither wanted to lose that little moment where they realized that life had thrown them together once again. Both were glad of that, it made everything so much easier to bear knowing that the other would be there to help shoulder the load if needed.
"Come on, if I don't take you to Kim she'll have me shot." Tommy told him.
The ride to Tommy and Kim's modest house was nearly silent. Tommy had easily convinced Jason not to take his bike since it was raining a little. It wasn't a long car ride but it was through the neighbourhood Jason had grown up in.
He spent most of the car ride with his head leaning on the cool glass of the truck window, watching the familiar sights pass by. It was surreal. It felt like a year but at the same time it didn't...Jason sighed. No matter what it was time to face things now. He had spent enough time avoiding them.
A warm hand covered his and squeezed gently. He glanced at Tommy who shot him a reassuring smile as the stopped at a red light. Jason smiled back. No matter what he would be okay, he knew that.
Almost before they pulled into the driveway the front door flew open and Kim bounded, or waddle-bounded, to the truck and fiercely hugged her husband even though he was still half inside the truck.
"Don't you ever, EVER, do that to me again!" She scolded, holding him as closely as her belly would allow.
"Sorry, beautiful." Tommy apologized somewhat meekly. He may have been the 'legendary Tommy Oliver' but he wasn't stupid enough to go up against Kim, especially now!
"And you!" Kim turned on Jason, who was now standing at the hood of the truck. "You come here, right now, and give me a hug. I'll save the lecture for later, but not much later, you get it?"
"Yes Ma'am." Jason quirked a grin as he complied, surprised at just how bone crunching Kim's hug was.
"You better not disappear like that again." Kim murmured as she semi released him, still keeping a firm grasp of his hand.
"I don't plan on it." Jason said softly.
"Good." Kim glanced at her husband who was trying in vain to hide the wide grin that threatened to nearly split his face in two. "Do you boys feel like some breakfast? Pancakes maybe?"
"Sure!" Tommy exclaimed. An offer for breakfast was not what he had been expecting at all.
"Great. You're making it." Kim replied with a sweet smile.
Tommy sighed. He should have expected that. Really he should have...
It was after breakfast, which Tommy did make, that Kim noticed, quite forcefully, someone was getting active.
"Tom, the baby's kicking." Kim called to him as he and Jason were loading the dishwasher.
A goofy grin immediately sneaked onto Tommy's face and he couldn't help but rush into the other room. He'd felt their baby moving many times before but it still always caught him completely off guard to feel it again. Jason followed him quickly, an almost indulgent smile on his face. It was bittersweet for him. He might regret that he had never gotten the chance to feel his own child move within his beautiful Trini but he was happy for his friends.
Kim giggled at the expression on her husband's face as he rested his hand on her stomach. He just smiled at her not really caring that the expression on his face was one of complete comical joy. For a moment the two soon to be parents shared a tender glance then Kim's eyes moved to Jason, who was standing back awkwardly.
"Come feel the baby." Kim told him. "It's about time the little one meets his future uncle."
Jason grinned at that and stepped forward to place a trembling hand on Kim's large belly. Almost immediately he felt a sharp kick under his hand.
"Woah! You've got a future Power Ranger in there Kim!" Jason chuckled, everything forgotten for a moment except the happiness he felt for two of his dearest friends.
Kim groaned. "That's what Tommy always says!"
"It's true!" Tommy added. Kim just rolled her eyes.
Jason smothered a laugh at the two of them. "Have you found out what sex it's going to be?"
"Yes..." Tommy began.
"He wanted it to be a surprise but I refused to let my baby be called 'it' for nine months." Kim filled in. "It's a girl."
"And, unless you have any objections, we were going to name her Trini." Tommy told him gently, placing a warm hand on Jason's shoulder as shock spread over the other man's face. "It's the only name that's felt right to us."
"Wow." Jason murmured his eyes still on Kim's swollen belly. He felt movement under his hand and a tiny smile crept over his face. "I don't know what to say. That would be just..." Jason had to swallow. "I think she would have been completely honoured by that. Thank you."
Tommy smiled softly and exchanged a glance with Kim. "It's no problem, bro. You're family and so was she. It's the least we can do."
Jason had to blink a few times to clear his eyes of their sudden overabundance of water. Tommy's other hand come to rest on other shoulder and the warm voice echoed the comment he had made last night. "Welcome home, Jase."