Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related material belongs to JK Rowling.
A/N: Okay so this is just a wee thing that I thought of when listening to a song by Jordin Sparks hence the title. It made me think of James and Lily and then this happened. Like I'm pretty sure they didn't get together in this manner but hey isn't the point of fanfiction to veer off from canon!
Hope you enjoy!
Don't be getting any big ideas,
let me make it clear,
Just cause I can't go on,
just cause I die when your gone,
and just cause I think of you in bed,
don't let it go to your head.
-Jordin Sparks
Don't Let It Go To Your Head
Lily was lying back in the tall grass and her long red hair was spread out like a mane around her head. James Potter was leaning over her pressing kisses to her collarbone causing her to moan loudly as pleasure shot right to her core. She gasped as one his hands began to slide up the back of her shirt.
"Is this okay?" he gasped against her neck.
In answer, Lily pulled his mouth up to meet her own with a gasp. Lily moaned and brought her lips down to his, biting slightly at his bottom lip. It was James's turn to gasp in pleasure as Lily grinned knowing she had caused him to make that sound. Lily began unbuttoning his shirt buttons when he flipped her over so she was straddling him. The new vantage point made her grin as she admired James's swollen lips and sculptured chest. His hands began to move from her back round to her chest and he asked her permission with his eyes.
"I want you, James," she whispered into his ear as he kissed along her chin.
He broke away just long enough to reply, "I love you, Lily Evans."
Then just when Lily was wondering how it could get any better she felt cold water splashing her face.
"Gaaaaaaaaah!" she spluttered looking around for the source of the water. Her best friend Alice loomed above her face with her wand out having obviously just conjured the water.
"Lily! Why aren't you awake yet? Its five minutes until Potions starts!" Alice told her.
For once Lily didn't care, instead of getting up and getting dressed like she should, she slumped back against her pillows staring up at her scarlet hangings of her bed. James was nowhere to be seen. They weren't outside kissing by the lake. James didn't love her. It was all a dream.
"Lily," Alice called "are you coming?"
"Go on without me, Alice I don't want you being late," Lily sighed.
"Are you sure?"
"Very."
"I'll tell Slughorn you've got a bad cold or something, you know he won't mind."
"Thanks Alice," Lily muttered wishing she could get back to sleep. Her dream was a lot better than her reality at the minute.
She was seventeen years old, a Gryffindor student at Hogwarts and Head Girl. She was also – most inconveniently – in love with James Potter. James Potter was also in seventh year at Hogwarts and was Head Boy. For the first five years at Hogwarts, he had been a complete hindrance to her with his pranks and arrogant attitude. That wasn't even mentioning his constant flirting with her. For years he would sporadically ask her out whenever the opportunity arose.
But James didn't ask her out anymore. He'd stopped doing it this year. Yes, he stopped asking Lily out as soon as she realised she'd loved him all along. Despite his flaws, she loved him. He'd changed this year. Instead of being an 'arrogant toe rag' as she had once called him, he was now funny, polite and helpful. Of course he still got into trouble with his friends but Lily found she didn't mind nearly as much anymore. The biggest change however was that it had been exactly two hundred and forty-nine days since he'd asked her out.
She closed her eyes remembering the day; it was the thirtieth of June.
"Lily! Darling, how was your year?" gushed her mother as she engulfed her daughter in a hug before allowing her husband to do the same.
"Brilliant Mum," Lily replied grinning.
"You didn't have anymore trouble from that Potter boy did you?" asked her father.
Lily smiled "Nothing I can't deal with Dad."
"That's my girl," her dad chuckled taking her trolley and they began to walk out of the station.
"Where's Petunia?" asked Lily hesitantly.
Her mother looked saddened "She's gone out for the day with a man named Vernon, he works in a drill business. Petunia is very taken with him but there's something about him which I don't like too much."
"Oh," was all Lily said; she missed her sister but if she was happy, Lily wasn't going to argue.
When they got to their car Lily helped her father get her trunk into the back of their car when none other than James Potter left the station along with Sirius Black and a woman with greying auburn hair who Lily assumed was Mrs Potter.
Potter caught her eye and as they passed Lily's car he winked and said "So how about it Evans? Want to meet up in Diagon Alley this summer?"
Sirius smirked, Mrs Potter looked embarrassed about her son's behaviour and Lily's father narrowed his eyes slightly.
"For goodness sake, Potter," Lily replied firmly. "My answer's never going to change as you very well know. It's always going to be no. I don't want to go out with you. Don't you ever get tired of getting rejected?"
"Nope, because I always live in hope that one day you will say yes," Potter replied and for a moment Lily thought she saw genuine hurt in his eyes but it was gone before she could double-check.
Lily didn't say anything, hoping that would give him a clearer answer. Instead she got into the car and they drove away.
Lily banged her head off her head board in frustration. Why had she not said yes? Why had she basically told him to give up? Why had he given up when he said he wouldn't?
Lily sighed and dragged herself out of her bed. The answer was simple. James didn't love her, he probably never had. In fact she'd be prepared to bet he only asked her out all those times because of some sort of stupid bet he'd made with Sirius Black. But she loved him. The world was a cruel place.
An hour later after apologizing to Slughorn profoundly for missing half his class to which he had responded: "Not to worry Lily, it's not as if you'll get too behind with brains like yours. And I hope your cold improves." Lily was now spending a free period in the library trying to write an essay for Transfiguration. She was trying because her mind kept wandering back to the dream she'd had in the early hours of the morning. Imagining the feel of James Potter's lips did nothing to aid concentrating on an essay on advance animal transfiguration.
"Good morning Lily," a cheery voice came from behind her. She groaned; James. The last person she wanted to see now, it hurt too much. "Alice said you weren't well but you look perfectly fine to me."
Lily said nothing.
"And from my corner of the library you looked like you were enjoying a particularly nice daydream," added James.
"Maybe I was," Lily muttered before looking up at him in shock. "What are you doing here?"
"Transfiguration homework," replied James.
"But how'd you get here?" Lily pressed.
"Through the doors," James said rolling his eyes. "Honestly Lily you're not stupid."
"Oh, I always figured you had no idea where the library was, I'm just a bit shocked to see you here," Lily said with a teasing smile.
"And I'm shocked to hear you skipped Potions," James smirked.
"I wasn't well," Lily defended.
"Of course you weren't," James smiled. "So what were you dreaming about?"
"I – I really don't want to talk about it," Lily replied grabbing her books and leaving; she couldn't have James leaning over her like this. Not when she wanted to kiss the living daylights out of him.
She stormed down the corridor with tears threatening to spill. Tears Lily? Really? What's happening to you? All this over a stupid boy who doesn't even like you! But the tears wouldn't stop now so she ducked into an empty classroom and sank down at a desk trying to compose herself.
Suddenly the door opened and Lily almost screamed when she saw his messy black hair and glasses.
"Lily?" he asked cautiously "Are you alright?"
Lily said nothing again hoping he would take the hint and leave.
"Was it a bad dream?" pressed James, concern evident in his voice.
"No, it was a good dream," Lily whispered.
"Then why are you crying?" James's brow creased and Lily's heart skipped a beat; he looked so adorable like that.
"Because I know it'll never happen in reality," Lily whispered almost inaudibly.
James looked like he understood "And who was it about?"
"You," Lily said so quietly she was hoping James hadn't heard her. But of course as he was kneeling in front of her, he did.
"Oh," he said getting to his feet "I understand Lily, I really do and I'm so sorry. I should have given up years ago when you told me no the first time. You've said no to me a thousand eight hundred and seventy two times – yes I'm sad enough to have counted. But I never gave up, I should have realised how upset I was making you. I thought we were okay now since I haven't been pestering you this year. But I am truly sorry Lily, please believe me."
Wait what? Lily was the one to look confused now.
"I'll see you later Lily, that is if you want to see me," James sighed as he stood up and walked towards the door "I'll try to bother you too much anymore."
Lily sat there stunned trying to work out what James had meant and suddenly it clicked. He'd got this all wrong; he thought she'd been dreaming about a James-free life. He couldn't be more wrong. Lily knew she had to sort this out so without even bothering to pick up her books and bag she yanked the door open and walked as fast as she could to Gryffindor tower where she guessed James would have headed.
"Hippogriff," she said to the Fat Lady quickly who swung open. Peter and Sirius were playing Exploding Snap beside the fireplace.
"Afternoon, Evans," Sirius said airily when she walked over.
Lily ignored the name he'd given her, "Where's James?"
Sirius looked up raising an eyebrow, "you are looking for James?"
"Yes, where is he?" Lily snapped.
"He hasn't come up here," Peter answered.
"Shut up Peter," Sirius glared at him "Evans probably wants to chew him out for missing Head Boy duties or something."
"No I don't, Black" Lily hissed at Sirius "I really need to talk to him."
"What about?" Sirius asked suspiciously.
"He might be outside," Peter said as Sirius put down another card.
"Whereabouts Peter?" Lily asked.
Sirius folded his arms "Peter isn't telling, are you Peter."
"The forest," Peter muttered.
"Wormtail!" Sirius exclaimed in frustration as Lily turned and went to leave the room as Sirius and Peter went back to their game. As she climbed through she heard the cards explode and Sirius screech "My eyebrows! They're gone! Not my beautiful eyebrows! Wormtail send for Pomfrey at once!"
Lily just laughed at their antics which had grown on her over the past year. She wondered on the way downstairs why James would be around the forest but made her way down past Hagrid's hut anyway. She couldn't see him anywhere.
"James?" she called hesitantly. There was no answer and Lily wondered if Peter had been messing with her but it was unlikely. Besides Sirius had seemed to agree with him. Taking a deep breath, Lily stepped under the trees muttering "Lumos."
The forest was still but Lily remembered Dumbledore's warnings about the dangers of it and decided she should find James as quickly as possible, "James! James! Are you here? JAMES!"
She heard movement to her left and spun her wand, cocking her head to the side in confusion; it sounded like hooves. She wondered if maybe the centaurs were close. But only seconds later the hooves stopped. Lily looked worriedly around her. Maybe Peter had been tricking her? It wasn't like him but Sirius could've put him up to it.
"Lily? What are you doing out here?" asked James from behind her.
Lily jumped; where had he come from? His hair was tousled in a way that made her want to run her hands through it like she had in her dream and his checks were rosy as if he'd been running.
"I was looking for you," Lily replied trying to steady her breathing and clear her mind of inappropriate thoughts about the boy standing in front of her.
James sounded confused, "you were looking for me. But what about earlier?"
"You got it wrong earlier, so wrong," Lily explained quickly. "You thought I was dreaming about a life in which you didn't bother me or come near me or anything."
"You mean you weren't?"
"No, because if that was the case then it would have most certainly been a nightmare," Lily replied taking a step towards him.
"So what where you dreaming about me for?" asked James his warm hazel eyes focused on Lily's emerald ones.
"Don't let this go to your head…" Lily began taking another step towards him as rain began to drizzle from the sky. "But I was thinking about what it would be like to kiss you."
Lily decided it might be best to leave it at just the kissing and not mention the other things she had been dreaming of doing to him.
"Kiss me?" James repeated his eyes going as wide as galleons.
Lily took a deep breath, "yes because believe it or not James I've been waiting this whole damn year for you to ask me out! Two hundred and forty nine days – yes I'm sad enough to count." She quoted his own phrase back to him with a small laugh.
"Lily … you said you were crying because you knew your dream would never happen in real life," James stepped closer to her, his glasses now speckled with the rain with was getting heavier. His expression was caught somewhere between complete wonder and confusion.
"That's right," she nodded her now wet head, they were almost touching.
"Well you had no need to cry," James told her bringing a hand up to cup her cheek.
"And why would that be?" asked Lily breathing heavily because she couldn't believe this was really happening.
"Because I've loved you for years Lily Evans and that isn't about to change," James replied softly "and if you'll allow it I'd very much like to kiss you right now."
"I'll allow it," Lily barely managed to gasp; her heart was racing.
"Thank Merlin," James grinned, his hair sticking to his forehead with rain, before pressing his lips against hers gently.
Lily felt like fire shot through her, kissing James was better than she had imagined in all her wildest daydreams, nothing compared to this. She pulled him closer to her running her hands through his dripping wet hair. He was all that mattered right now. Lily wondered how long she could go without oxygen but soon realised she needed to breath. She broke away breathing heavily. James was also short of breath but looked happier then she could ever remember. She imagined she looked much the same; her face felt like it was about to split in half from smiling.
"How cliché is this," he chuckled "kissing in the rain."
"Cliché or not, I don't plan on going back to the castle anytime soon," Lily replied reaching up to kiss him again and he responded with even more enthusiasm than before pulling her further under the cover of the trees.
It was only when the rain got so heavy that their robes where sticking to their skin and their hair was plastered to their faces that hand in hand they ran back up to the castle splashing mud everywhere. Once in the entrance hall they took out their wands to dry themselves both still laughing when McGonagall walked briskly down the marble stairs.
"Good gracious Potter, Evans, what in the good name of Merlin have you two been doing?" she said disapprovingly looking at the pair of them who looked like drowned rats.
"You wouldn't believe us if we told you," James replied tightening his grip on Lily's hand.
McGonagall caught his small movement and looked at their joined hands.
"And I'd thought I'd seen everything," she said faintly shaking her head and going into the Great Hall for dinner.
Lily and James snorted with laughter as soon as she was out of earshot.
"Oh and for the record James," Lily suddenly realised she hadn't told him something "I love you too."
James's mouth split into a dazzling grin which made Lily go weak at the knees.
A/N: Thanks so much for reading! As always feedback is appreciated :)
I've just got back into writing this week so hopefully I'll be updating my multi-chapter fics soon but I uploaded a one-shot from Bill and Fleur's wedding centering on Ginny if you're interested.
Thanks very much!
Published: 19/04/2015