Hello hello! This is my first Klaine fic so just bare with me!
This idea came to me when I was listening to the Spring Awakening soundtrack
This is completely AU. Kurt never went to McKinley in this. His dad isn't Burt. He does have a mom named Elizabeth. Kurt is a sophomore and Blaine is a junior.
Sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes.
Title: The Dark I Know Well
Rating: T
Chapter Warnings: mention of sexual abuse
Disclaimer: I don't own anything glee!
This is completely AU. Kurt never went to McKinley in this. His dad isn't Burt. He does have a mom named Elizabeth. Kurt is a sophomore and Blaine is a junior.
It's more dapper Blaine, no Harry Potter, and AVPM references or anything. The Warblers are very formal rather than crazy.
And Kurt is in complete awe of Blaine.
The Dark I Know Well
Chapter 1
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Kurt jumped into alert at the banging of Wes's gavel. He currently sat in the back of the choir room in Dalton Academy. Being a sophomore in the Warbler's was like a gift. Most seniors didn't even get into the Warblers and Kurt was honored to be one of two sophomores on there.
It was close to Regionals in the show choir world and that excited him, but it also disappointed him. They had beaten the Hipster's and New Directions. Okay so that was a lie they tied with New Directions, but they were going to Reginals so Kurt had counted it like a win.
The bad side to going to Regional's was that he would never get a solo. Sure, he tried out for two but after the second rejection Kurt just couldn't handle it, so he stopped trying. Kurt didn't even know why people auditioned in the first place, they all lost to Blaine Anderson, the lead soloist of the Warblers.
Blaine Anderson was perfect.
Kurt had no other way to describe him. Sure, Blaine doesn't even know who Kurt his, but simply being in the same room as Blaine made Kurt's heart race. Kurt wanted run his small pale hands into Blaine's soft curly black head of hair. It was only sometimes that Blaine wore his hair without gel. When he was late, or when he would run out of gel.
But most of times it was slicked pack by a copious amount of gel that Kurt wouldn't even want to know. Blaine's eyes are a soft hazel that shined in the sunlight. They shined when he would sing and when he would talk to his friends. When he was thinking they would be hazy and blank, but when he was angry they would be sharp and hard. It drove Kurt wild.
Plus Blaine's solos were breathtaking so Kurt didn't mind giving up solos to him. Blaine's voice was a dream and secretly Kurt wanted Blaine to read to him because his voice was that gorgeous.
"Now we all know that Regionals are in three weeks, and we barely got by at Sectionals" Wes said. Wesley Montgomery was a senior at Dalton. He was on the council when Kurt was a freshman. Kurt wasn't exactly Wes's favorite either. Kurt can remember the countless times he has gotten in trouble by him. And not just on the Warblers. Wes is also a prefect.
"Now in order to when Regionals we have to have an edge that no other team has. Warbler Blaine, you said you have an idea" He nodded to Blaine and the junior smiled timidly at Wes before getting up and turning around to face the rest of the Warblers.
"Wes is right guys, we have to go to Nationals. So I propose we do" he tooka pause to peer at everyone in the room. "Original songs"
"I'm sorry..what?"
"Excuse me?"
"What?"
"Does that even make sense"
"What even.."
Blaine hushed the Warbler's down before talking again. "I know it sounds crazy guys, I know. It's just I think we can really pull it off"
The Warblers reaction was anything but kind. Kurt bit his lower lip as he looked around the room. Most Warblers were shaking their head at Blaine's proposal. It was now or never..
"I think we should do original songs" said Kurt, his voice was high and crisp into the room. Everyone went quiet and turned to look at the small sophomore. Kurt felt heat rise to his cheeks.
"When it's original, it's from the heart, and I think we have a really good chance at winning that way" he finished.
"But what's it going to be like when all the other teams are doing awesome songs" one Warbler asked with disbelief on his face.
"Well that's the difference instead of using other people's words and lyrics, we'll be using our own" Kurt said and glanced at Blaine. Blaine was looking at Kurt with admiration and confusion in his eyes. Kurt blushed again and sat down.
A smile slowly stretched across Blaine's face. "All in favor of doing original songs at Regionals?" he asked.
Everyone raised their hands. Kurt smiled in relief.
"Awesome, me and Blaine are going to write some songs together" said Nick. Nick was another junior. Kurt never saw much of him. Nick wasn't uptight or 'dapper' as the rest of the Warblers. He liked to blast alternative music in his dorm and he was an awesome dancer.
"Woah, woah, woah" said Jeff. Jeff was one of Kurt closest friends at Dalton. He was the other sophomore in the Warblers. He was taller than Kurt by two inches. His blond hair was florescent in sun light and it tied together with his blue eyes and slightly pale skin, he wasn't paler than Kurt though.
"You two are writing the music for Regionals? No way, I think all of us should have a chance to write music" The room was silent again. You could tell that most Warblers were in agreement.
"Fine" said Wes, "We all have two says and everyone who wrote a song will preform it and we'll see what song we will sing. Everyone have a nice day" he banged his gavel again and the meeting was over.
Kurt smiled at Jeff when the blond walked over to him. "Nice job backing Blaine up" he teased. Kurt blushed and pushed him playfully.
"Nice job contradicting Nick" Kurt said playfully. Jeff mocked glared at him and laughed. Kurt laughed with him as they walked out of the choir room and into the halls of Dalton. Jeff stopped laughing when someone approached them.
"Erm hello, can I talk to Kirk alone"
"Kurt" said Jeff.
Blaine blushed and shook his head, "I'm sorry" he said and looked at Kurt. The brunette felt weak at the knees. Kurt shot Jeff and look and the blond chuckled and walked away, leaving them alone.
"..yes?" said Kurt.
"I just wanted to thank you, for standing up for me today"
Kurt smiled and shrugged, "It was no big deal, I really liked that idea. Where'd you get it anyways?" Kurt cocked his head to the side. Blaine laughed softly at his actions and placed a finger up to his own lips.
"It's a secret" he said and took his finger away.
"I can handle it" was he flirting? With Blaine Anderson? The most popular boy in school. Kurt's heart was racing.
"I spied, on the New Directions"
Kurt's mouth dropped.
"You-you.."
Blaine grinned, "You cannot tell anyone!" he exclaimed, "Wes doesn't even know"
"When he finds out he's going to kill you!" Kurt shrilled.
"Nah, I'll be fine" Blaine asked shaking his head a little bit. "So are you writing a song?" Blaine asked.
Kurt nodded. If he couldn't get a solo, atleast he could write the solo.
"Awesome" said Blaine. He put a hand on Kurt's arm and smiled again. "Thanks again Kurt"
Kurt couldn't speak so he nodded again. Blaine nodded back and walked away taking Kurt's heart with him.
...
"It's an important weekend dad and I have to stay here" Kurt said over the phone.
"What are you doing over there?" His dad responded.
"Mrs. Romeo is having extra help on Saturday, and my grades are terrible in that class. Plus I have the Warblers on Sunday, so I can't come home" Kurt lied. He was passing chemistry with a 90, not that his dad knew, and Warblers were on Monday.
"Oh, alright. I'll see you next weekend Kurt. I love you"
"I-i..love you too" Kurt hung up and sighed. The truth was he didn't want to go home. In fact he hated home. But he loved his parents. He loved his mom and sometimes his dad, when he dad wasn't... It didn't matter. Kurt just bever wanted to be home. Ever.
Jeff never been to Kurt's house. Kurt would go out of his way to make sure whenever they had to plans to have them at Jeff's or Q's house because Kurt didn't want his father to get jealous.
There was a knock on his door. "Come in!" he called out. Jeff walked in the room a pen and notebook in one and he was juggling his mini HP laptop in the other hand. "oh hey Jeff"
"Don't hey Jeff me"
"erm..Hi Jeff?" Kurt said confused.
The blond boy put his things down and sat on Kurt's bed. "I decided that we are not leaving this room until we write a song" he stated proudly.
Kurt cocked a perfect manicured eyebrow at him, "You and I?"
"No, me you and Q"
"And if we need to pee?"
"Bottles"
"And if we're hungry"
"We'll eat those granola bars you keep hidden under your bed" he said simply shrugging. Kurt's eyes got wide and he gasped loudly.
"Jeff!" he cried.
"I was just saying"
"Nobody is supposed to know that" Kurt said quietly before his door opened again and tall figure walked in with a notebook and three water bottles. Kurt smiled at him as he shut the door and sat at Kurt's desk.
"Hey Q" said Jeff.
"Hello Quentin" said Kurt saying his full name. Quentin Jacobson was a junior in Dalton Academy. He was the first person that Kurt met. Kurt walked into school and saw Quentin leaning against a wall outside smoking a cigarette. Kurt was afraid to talked to him but Quentin showed him around and sat with him at lunch.
Q had a lot of friends, he had friends on the lacrosse team and on the debate team. He was very close to one Flint Wilson. They hung out a lot during their free period and sat with each other during Warblers. But Q had stayed friends with Kurt and Jeff also. Sometimes when they hung out Flint would join in.
The older boy had sandy brown hair that reached his shoulders. At school he'd tie it at the nap of his neck and have it all pushed back. His eyes were brown and his skin was olive. Q had a pair of legs on him, Kurt never saw a boy as tall as Q, well maybe, the tall boy from New Directions.
"Hey" said Q.
"Gentlemen, I invite you all to Kurt's room for our first annual song writing seminar!" said Jeff. Kurt laughed and Q just shook his head. He tossed a water bottle at Kurt and then at Jeff.
"So..where do we get started?" asked Kurt taking out a notebook and a blue pen.
"Flint is coming here with rhyming books so that'll help us" said Q taking his shoes off.
"And I looked up what you need for writing songs"
"And..." pushed Quentin.
"And" Jeff mocked Q's voice, "It all comes from pain" he said looking at his computer, "The best songs come from a place of hurt. And all you have to do is add a melody and you'll be set"
Kurt nodded. It should be easy because Kurt knows about pain.
...
On Saturday morning Kurt got up and got dressed, there were three boys sleeping in his room. Quentin was spread out across his bed while Flint and Jeff were on the floor. Kurt smiled and walked out of his room.
Slowly he made his way to the cafeteria. There weren't a lot of people in the hall, just two or three as selected tables. Kurt stood on line with three bagels and a strawberry/banana yogurt in his hands.
"Hey Kurt!"
Blaine was walking towards him with a grin on his face. Kurt's heart fluttered as he smiled back. "Hi Blaine"
Blaine looked down at the food in his hands and raised an eyebrow "Hungry?"
Kurt blushed red and shook his head, "This is for Jeff, Q, and Flint. We had a sleepover, and I was the first one up" he explained.
Blaine nodded and smiled, he was about to open his mouth then a boy the same size of Kurt took Blaine's hand into his and smiled. "Baby, you didn't wait for me" he whined.
"I told you I was hungry" said Blaine.
Kurt wanted to gag. One because h was totally in love with Blaine and Blaine had a boyfriend, and Two that boy friend was Sebastian Smythe. The scum of the Earth, Kurt and Jeff liked to call him.
Sebastian was spoiled and had a really bad attitude, he constantly mouthed off to teachers, and broke all of the rules. Of course no one called him out on it because he was friend with Wes and he was dating Blaine, also he had tons of money.
Sebastian didn't like a number of people, Kurt being one of them. Kurt had no idea why Sebastian didn't like him, Sebastian was a junior and he was a sophomore, they rarely saw each other. Jeff suggested that it was because Sebastian was jealous of him, but Kurt didn't think that was true.
How can a boy that has everything Kurt wants, be jealous of him. Kurt remembers when he had a crush on this boy Dante that's a junior. Him and Jeff were talking about it a little too loud and Sebastian heard. The next day Kurt went into the choir room alone and Sebastian and Dante were basically dry humping on the couch. Kurt has hated him since.
"But still..-" Sebastian was about to continue but then he saw Kurt at the corner of his eye. He shifted his attention on Kurt.
"Do you mind, butter face?" he said to Kurt.
"Don't call him that" Blaine said sadly, frowning at Sebastian.
Kurt paid for his food and said, "It doesn't matter" before walking away and up to his room.
...
It was Monday and Kurt was getting more nervous as the day went by. After school it'd be Warbler practice and he'd have to sing his song. Kurt doesn't know why he wrote it but Jeff said music was about pain but also experiences so that's what Kurt wrote about.
Kurt wanted to die when he walked into the choir room. The room was already buzzing with excitement. Wes, Thad, and David were sitting at the council table talking quietly to Nick and Blaine. Jeff and Kurt shared a look as they at down in the back of the room.
Wes banged his gavel three times and practice had begun. "Now today many of you will be singing your original song. Now if your song is picked there is a chance you might not be singing it at Reginals"
"Of course" mumbled Jeff. Kurt bit his lower lip and turned to Wes.
"Does anyone want to go first?"
Hands shot up in the air. Kurt sighed and leaned back against the couch. This is going to be a long rehearsal , he thought.
Kurt wanted to jump out of window, as time ticked by. The boys who were singing were good, but there songs weren't. Kurt didn't want to be rude and say anything so he kept quiet and tried not to make faces. One Warbler actually song a song about being an only child, who does that?
Blaine didn't go, him and Nick weren't done with there songs so they were going to finish it tonight and show everyone else tomorrow. Kurt spent most the time staring at Blaine. He wanted to laugh when he saw the look on Blaine's face when terrible songs would be preformed. He noticed that Blaine had one dimple on his left cheek.
Kurt sighed and didn't even hear his name being called. He jerked back to laugh when Jeff hit him in the arm. Everyone was looking him. Some had amusement in their eyes, some didn't. Kurt blushed and smiled sheepishly at Wes before getting up and walking to the center of the room.
"Hi" said Kurt, "I am Kurt Hummel and I will be singing my original song for you today" Wes nodded and Kurt took a deep breath.
There's a part I can't tell, about the dark I know well. You say"time for bed now child". Mom just smiles that smile, just like she never saw me, just like she never saw me.
Kurt looked out at everyone and Jeff's face is twisted in confused. Blaine is looking at him too his expression is unreadable. Kurt knew that they would look like that, because to them he was just perfect little Hummel, who could sing really high and it really girly and loud.
So I leave one just to hide, knowing deep inside. You are coming to me, you are coming to me.
Kurt doesn't look at anyone as he sings the next part.
You say all you want is just a kiss goodnight, then you hold me and you whisper, "Child the Lord won't mind, It's just you and me, child you're a beauty. God it's good, the loving, ain't it good tonight. You ain't seen nothing yet, gonna teach you right. It's just you and me, child your'e a beauty"
A flashback floods into Kurt's mind as he's singing. He remembers going to his room at ten hearing his father's footsteps.. His heart filling with lead. His father 'kissing him good nigh'.
"God you're so beautiful Kurt" he would whisper to the young boy who is laying still on the twin bed. "I made you, you're mine"
"But d-daddy, what about the Lord? Two boys c-can't do this"
His father chuckles, "It's okay Kurt the Lord won't mind"
I don't scream, though I know it's wrong, I just play along. I lay there and breath, lay there and breath. I want to be strong I want the world to find out, that you're dreaming on me. Me and my beauty, me and my beauty.
Kurt's eye flutter open and the Warblers look shocked, angry, sad. Kurt can see a shimmer slid down Jeff's cheek slowly. Blaine face morphed into sadness and pity for the younger boy.
You say all you want is just a kiss good night and you hold me and whisper "Child the Lord won't mind, it's just you and me, child you're a beauty. God it's good, the loving, ain't it good tonight. You ain't seen nothing yet, gonna teach you right. It's just you and me, child you're a beauty"
There's a part I can't tell, 'bout the dark I know well. And there's a part I can't tell 'bout the dark I know well, there's a part I can't tell 'bout the dark I know well, and there's part I can't tell, 'bout the dark I know well..
Kurt finishes in complete silence. The sophomore hangs his head down for a second before looking up again. When no one says a word he sits back down next to Jeff, not looking at anyone.A hand gently touches his knee and Kurt looks up to see Quentin next to him with a grave look on his face.
Kurt smiles at him and looks away. Wes cleared his throat and called the next person to audition. They all try to act like nothing happened, but anyone could tell, nothing was going to be the same.
The Warbler's let out and Kurt walks with Jeff and Q, Flint is trialing behind them silently. Kurt is one to break the silence, "Can we please talk about something, I hate the whole silence thing going on"
"I don't know what to say Kurt" said Jeff.
"You don't have to say anything"
"Well we can't pretend what you sang about in there"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put anyone in that position you guys said write about pain and I did" Kurt said shrugging and they all walking into the cafeteria.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Jeff said softly.
Kurt bit his lower lip and shrugged.
"No one wants to talk about that Jeff" said Flint.
"I know, I know, but Kurt.." he trialed off.
"It's nothing"
"You just admitted you were being sexual abused by your dad Kurt that's pretty big" said a new voice. The four boys looked up and saw Blaine standing at the end of their table with Nick, David and Wes at his sides. Kurt groaned softly. He wanted to die.
"You didn't have to be so blunt Blaine, he knows that" Quentin said at the other junior. Everyone knows that Blaine and Quentin don't like each other. They are just so opposite. Blaine liked to play chess, Q liked to draw, Blaine was a wiz in trig, Q was failing hard. Q is an alto and Blaine is a tenor. They always say opposites attract but not in this case.
"I was just stating a fact Quentin" Blaine said then sat down next to Kurt. "How are you feeling?"
"Like you care" muttered Q. Blaine glared at him before turning his attention back to Kurt.
"I'm fine Blaine, thanks for your concern" Kurt looked at the three boys standing around the table, "All of you"
"Look Kurt, if you need someone to talk to, my mom has this therapist-" Wes started to say.
"Stop" Kurt said loudly, "I don't want to see a therapist or anything"
"Most people are sexual abused end up to be like murderers Kurt" interjects Flint.
Everyone ignores him.
"I know that you're in the stage of denial right now, and that's okay Kurt-" Blaine started to say.
"Blaine!" Q exclaims, cutting Blaine off.
"Blaine is telling the truth and it's okay for Kurt to not excpet what is happening to him" Wes said.
Jeff looked at him like he was crazy, "How is that okay?"
The pair of four boys started to argue, not noticing that Kurt left the table a long time ago.
so?
tell me what you think in a review!
The song is called The Dark I Know Well from Spring Awakening.