Hey guys!
Here is my very first KakaSaku fan fic, which it's also a sequel for another fan fiction, called Enigma. But unfortunately I have soo many fanfic to finish, that I have no idea when I will start on this one.. well I will try to post it soon...:)
I hope you will enjoy during the reading, but I will be really happy if you leave your opinion on this fic!
And I don't own Naruto, his characters or any other thing. And lyrics She will be loved are written and performed by Maroon 5.
Till next time, when I will be writing to you in Enigma, take care! Thank you for reading!
Arruin.-
She will be loved
Sigh... How I hate being the one who has to work. Specially when I have the newest Icha Icha in my hands and I'm right in the middle of the reading of this great story. And correcting this exams are a real pain in my neck, like they don't have no one else to work on this... sigh... sometimes is hard to be me. I put my new book next to me on my bed and with a lot of efforts in convincing myself that I will have enough time to read it tomorrow... I mean later today, when I saw that first sun rays were starting to shine on sleeping Konoha.
So I stood up from my old bed and sit next to it, behind my desk. There waited me at least 90 test papers to be checked, from the chunin exams. Oh, where are those days, when we had taken them. And with we I mean my team, team 7, which was really just a name. We all lived our own lives and no one even think what might happen. And when that happened Naruto and Sakura start living their own lives, but both determined to get our team back together. And now after 4 years nothing much has changed. Sakura is Hokage's apprentice and Naruto Jiraiya's. And I? Well I'm correcting test papers, of course.
I would lie, if I would say that I don't miss those days, when Naruto got beaten by Sasuke and Sakura was yelling on both of them for being idiots. We had pretty good time back then, but all good things finish sometimes.
I dropped my pen on test papers and stood up. I lifted my hands in the air and stretched myself from toe on my feet to my head. It's been a long night and I feel how the sleep is coming upon me. Taking a nap won't be bad... but I found myself in front of my big window, looking down on the street. I wasn't expecting anyone to be there, since it was 5am, but something caught my attention. It was really familiar. Someone, who I know really good. It was a young woman and she was walking slowly. Her feet were barely moving and her head was lowered. Her unique hair were the one which caught my attention. They were pink. They were Sakura's. But what is she doing on the street at this time of a day?
Beauty queen of only eighteen
she had some trouble with herself
he was always there to help her
she always belonged to someone else
So I watched her, how she was moving slowly and drunkly. It must be a long night after her and way too much alcohol in her veins. I closed my uncovered eye and shake my head slowly. Why is she going home on her own and the most important, why did she get so drunk after all? I thought she is a smart one and knows where are her limits. I opened my eye again and she was still there. Standing in the middle of a street, looking towards me. I don't know if she saw me, but she didn't move her gaze. Maybe I should go down there, just to make sure, she is all right... I don't want her to collapse in the middle of a street and being humiliated. Oh Sakura, what did you got into this time?
Not bothering putting my jumper on, I left my room with my T-shirt, mask on my face and those baggy pants that are part of my everyday wear. Slowly I reached the front doors and stepped out. The air was fresh and cold, after all night raining. The road was wet and muddy, but I just stepped towards Sakura, who was still standing there, in the middle of the road. Her hair was all messy and her face without any make-up. Her green eyes were blurry and red. Maybe because of the alcohol or crying. Who knows? I stopped in front of her, looking her.
" Yo!"
" K-Kakashi... sensei?" she raised her head and looked me straight in my eyes. She was confused for few moments, but once she was sure it was I, her facial expression relaxed.
" One and only... What's going on Sakura?" I asked slowly after few moments standing in front of her.
She drunkly put he weight on other leg and then looked me straight in the eye. " All men... are bastards, you know..." she said, with a few problems in her spelling.
" Why do you think so?" I asked again.
She put a bottle to her mouth and made another swing of alcohol. " Everyone sees in me only one-night stand." she tried to caught her balance, when she staggered back. I tried to help her, but she lifted her hands, saying me that she doesn't need any help. That she isn't drunk or something.
" Don't you have job today?" I asked again, putting my hands in my pockets, regretting not putting my jumper on.
She grinned. " Tsunade-sama gave me weekend off... isn't she great?" she giggled and tried to made another swallow, but I grabbed that bottle and took it away from her.
" What? Give me that fucking bottle Kakashi!" she growled and jumped on me, trying to grab her bottle.
And then I stopped. The feeling when she pressed her body against mine was the one which was the reason. I was wearing only my T-shirt and she was wearing summer dress with a thin fabric. With no bra. So we all know what reaction will be when you are walking on cold air in summer dress with no bra. Hard nipples of course. And mine weren't doing any better. I tried to move away from her, but she was like glued on me.
" Give me that fucking bottle... or else... I... I will kick your ass!!" she growled and jumped to reach it.
" Sakura, this was enough." I said and throw the bottle on the wet ground, made it crush on thousands small pieces. " Now, let's get you back in your apartment." I said and tried to pull her away, but she was just staring on the ground, where I throw the bottle. " Sakura?" I called her name, but she didn't react.
I wanted to grab her hand, but in a moment when I touched her hand she turned her head, crying. I widen my eye, but she moved her hand and I almost got a punch in my face. Ok, this is going to far. I grabbed her hand, but she raised another and tried to punch me with another one, but I grab that too, she snapped them back and then she started to punch me in the chest.
" I hate you!! Why did you do that? I need that... I ..." she shouted between sobs, still punching me. But it wasn't like she wanted to kill me or get me in a hospital, punches were weak and desperate. I didn't do anything, but only brought my hands in her hair and pulled her closer, she started crying with silent sobs. I felt sorry for her in that moment. God knows what she went through tonight, that she went way over her limits.
" Sshh, it's all right Sakura... I'm here... you're safe now..." I whispered in her ear and picked her up in bridal style, carrying her home.
" I'm so sorry... " she whispered. " So, so sorry..." and then she fall asleep in my hands.
I drove for miles and miles
and wound up at your doors
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more
Silently I closed the door behind me and let out a sigh. Finally she is in her apartment, save. Luckily she lives not too far away from me, so the walking wasn't too ''unpleasant''. I raised my head, looking up the sky. It's almost 6.00 am and I feel how my eyelids try to close and even my body wasn't too happy, since I haven't had any sleep tonight. Slowly I went downstairs, not too aware where I am turning or where I was going. People start appearing on the streets, shop owners opening their shops. I put my hands in my pockets, head down and I slowly moving, not caring where.
To tell the truth I was in worries for Sakura. Since the last time, when they've met Sasuke, our pink haired kunoichi isn't acting herself anymore. Don't get me wrong, I mean she doesn't act herself anymore, because she started dating and having one-night stands or just flirting with guys. No one blames her, really. We were happy for her that she moved on, forgetting Sasuke and finally enjoying her life. But she isn't happy, not at all. One-night stands were fun until she realised that this isn't her, flirting is possible only after few shoots of tequila. She had few 'serious' boyfriends, but all finished with tears and self-pity.
Oh, where are those time, when she was carefree, always smiling little girl who needed us to protect her. She grew up in young woman, with a broken heart.
Sigh
I wish those days would be back. She was really happy and in love. I fell attached to her after just few months being with her in a team and I became her second father. She is still like my daughter, friend, comrade, family. And she knows this, more than well. I'm always there for her and she is always there for me. Since Naruto left with Jiraiya for training, only me and she stayed in Konoha. For almost a year we didn't see each other. Maybe it's because I was all the time on missions or maybe because she was really focused on her own training. But then one day, on the Sakura festival we've met again and since then we are always together. Well, almost always. We go together on a lunch, breakfast, dinner, in a bar, training or on a mission. We see each other everyday and we are really close to one another.
And I'm aware of the situation she is in now. She is eighteen, alone, and wants to have a relationship. She tries to forget, that all her friends already have boyfriends or girlfriends and she is the only one who is alone. But even if I try to tell her that is the best to be alone, while you are a shinobi, her head and heart think opposite. She really wants to say ' I have a boyfriend and he is really good to me.'... but unfortunately because of that, she is even more focused on her job and training. She is more than 16 hours in hospital, working, just to forget her problems. And after that she goes in bar, gets herself drunk and then she end up like she did this morning. Drunk, unhappy and angry. She needs a man, who is serious, sees her like she is, talented, smart, lovely, innocent, true woman, sexy, devoted and so much more. But no one can helps if this days men can only think on sex, sex and sex only. No one isn't capable to look beyond curved body, drunken mind and moment of a blackout. One-stands are normal in this days, better said, the only way to get satisfied.
But no one even think on love making all night, wake up in tight embrace of the one you love and repeat last night's activities, for good morning. Or being in long term relationship, about those I won't even think about. For them, term 'love making' is few kisses for foreplay, kiss here, kiss there, checking if the temperature and moisture is minimal, if it's not with a annoyance try a bit more and then, when they finally do it and reach the minimal, slide in, out and in few moments is over. They role over, kiss on mouth and they fall asleep. And women stay unsatisfied. And how I know all this? Because, shame on me, I was this way for few years after I entered in a sex life, until I found one woman who showed me how. And I am grateful for that, even she was an enemy. And even now, when I listen this youngsters, who think they are all so experienced after few fucks, I realised I was fucking good partner in bed comparing to them...
And why am I talking this? Why is this connected with Sakura? Because she is a constant victim of this I am such a macho in bed. She is having this affairs with inexperienced men, time after time. She needs a man who would know how and when press on a button, which would throw her in another galaxy.
I stopped and raised my head. I was in front of her doors again.
I don't mind spending everyday
out on your corner in the pouring rain
look for the girl with a broken smile
ask her if she wants to stay awhile
and she will be loved
she will be loved
" How do you feel?" I sit on the edge of her bed, looking at her. Her pink strands were all over her face, eyes barely opened. She was lying on her stomach, her sheet was down on her waist and tight shirt was around her torso. I guess she changed her outfit when she woke up.
" Kakashi... what are you doing here?" she asked me and tried to sit on her bed.
I scratched behind my head, smiling behind my mask. " Checking you up..."
" Oh..." she murmured and buried her head in her soft pillow. " I feel sick... I puked twice." I was able to hear her, while she was saying in her pillow.
" Eat something... it will help you." I suggested and petted her head.
While I found myself in front of her doors, I turned on my heels, cursing and asking myself in the same time, how I ended in front of her door. So I went home and get dressed fully and then check her out. But while I was on my way out, one of Hokage's messenger stopped me and gave me Hokage's order. She wanted to see me in her tower, pronto, so I had no other choice than close my doors and went straight in Tower.
" No... I will puke again..." she rolled on her back.
" Sometimes you are really stubborn woman, you know... I wonder where did you pick up this characteristic..." I mocked and gave her a glass of water.
" I wonder, yeah... you are also stubborn all the time..." she cracked a smile.
" Me?" I played surprised. " Now, you are lying! I am not stubborn!"
She made a sip of water, putting it on a night table. " Just listen yourself, sensei! Stubborn like a kid!"
I pet her again and stood up from her bed. " Well then, this stubborn kid will leave you alone now. He has things to do today." I winked her and put my half gloved hands in my pocket.
" I bet shisou gave you work!" she smiled.
" She is like an evil leader, who is commanding her soldiers!" I laughed.
" Yeah... well then I won't make you stay here any longer... I will take a good nap and maybe we could go on a dinner today..." she offered.
I looked her in hers eyes, looking for that innocence I was so keen on. And it was still there, at least this moment. She is still that Sakura... hidden in this young woman. " Sounds good to me." I answered and turned on my heels, walking through exit.
" Um... Kakashi..." she called my name. I turned my head, found her, lifting on her elbows.
" Yes?"
" Thank you... for this morning... you saved me from humiliation... again..." she whispered, but meaning what she said.
I smiled. " No problem, Sakura."
And with that I went out of her room, out of her apartment.
Day passed quite peaceful and I had time to take a nap and read Icha. Tsunade wanted me to finish with those exams, before tomorrow noon. But hell, I feel just too tired to even look. I know this was irresponsible from me, reading Icha while I should do on those exams, but I am human too... and Icha is a temptation I cannot resist. It was almost 5 pm, when I walked down the main street, when I saw Asuma and Kurenai walking together towards me. I waved to them, half lazily, half happy.
" Hey Kakashi, what are you doing here? I thought you are correcting those test for chunnins?" Asuma said, before he stopped.
" Hello to you too Asuma, long time no see!" I said back to him.
" Hi Kakashi!" Kurenai greeted.
" Yo!" I said. " What are you two doing? Out on a date?" I teased.
" No!" they both shouted, blushing and moving a bit away from each other.
" Sakura was looking for you." Asuma changed conversation.
" Really?"
" Yes, she said that if we see you, we have to tell you that she is in Ichiraku's waiting for you" Kurenai continued.
" You better move your ass there... or else she will made you pay for a dinner." smoker joked and gave me a wave. " Later! Tsunade-sama will kill us for being late!" he said and both of them were gone. Well if Sakura is in Ichiraku's I shouldn't make her wait, should I?
So I went towards Ichiraku's, streets were a bit crowded, but since this is Konoha, this is no surprise. Luckily, named restaurant was nearby and I was there in no time. I made my way inside and found Sakura sitting alone, with her back turned to me.
" Welcome!" Chef greeted me and waved with his dirty hand.
" Yo!" I raised my hand and made my way to my seat, next to Sakura.
" Hello Sakura, feeling any better?" I put my hand on her shoulder, sitting on a chair.
" Hey Kakashi, fine, I guess..." she said, but I could hear any happiness in her voice.
" What can I serve you today?" Chef asked me.
" The same as Sakura!" I ordered and turned my attention on Sakura, who was not feeling happy at all.
" What's wrong?" I lowered my voice, leaning my head to her.
" Nothing is wrong..." she looked me in the eyes and smiled a broken smile.
" Don't lie to me Sakura, I know you and I know that you are lying to me..." I said and looked how she was playing with her ramen.
" Oh... I just... I miss Naruto..." she said and looked to old man as our team mate used to call him.
" I miss him to... it's a bit quiet around here..." he agreed and crossed his arms on his chest. " Who knows when he will be back?"
" Soon, I hope..." she said and leaned her cheek in her palm. " Kakashi, what were you doing today?" she changed conversation.
" Oh." I said and separated my chopsticks. " Few things Tsunade-sama ordered me and I was training and I helped one woman and..."
" Hah, c'mon, tell me the truth... what were you doing?" she asked with a smirk on her face.
I looked her in her eyes and after few moments of silence I told her. " I was reading and napping... and doing things Tsunade-sama told me to do... you have no idea how shadow clones come in handy when you want some time for yourself!" I said happily.
" You're unbelievable!" she giggled and put some ramen in her mouth. " Who knows what she would do to you if she would find out?" she asked with teasing tone in her voice, looking straight in Chef's eyes, who was grinning too.
" She won't find out..." I simply stated.
" Oh really... And why do you think this way?" she raised her eyebrow, but slightly smirking.
" Because I know Chef is very good man and hates gossips, specially about his customers..." I said and Chef confirmed my statement with just nodding with his head, deep in his thoughts while cleaning that bowl. " And you are my beloved ex-student and that I don't mention, my favourite who knows how to keep a secret! That's why you are such an excellent kunoichi! " I stated and grinned through my mask.
She made childish face and blushed, turning her head down to her bowl and pulled out noddles and put in her mouths. I took advantage of it and ate my bowl in few seconds, since neither Chef nor Sakura watched. Sakura lifted her head, wanting to say something, but when she saw me putting my chopsticks on my bowl she gasped... not in surprise, but in anger.
" You sneaky bastard!! You said that on purpose, I can't believe I fell for it! AGAIN!" she throw her hands in the air and looked at me. " Why don't you let me see your face?"
" Because I have sensitive skin... sorry!" I said, smiling to her.
Her face was red and anger was flowing through her body. Chef opposite me chuckled, since he is the only one who knows what my face looks like. " Hey, Chef, you know how he looks like! Please, tell me!!" she begged him.
" Sorry Sakura-san, as Kakashi-san said before I hate gossips..." he apologised and turned his back to us.
She was gasping for her air while I put my hands on a table and stood up. Sakura turned to me, looking me. " Hey, sensei, where are you going? We just started eating! Please stay a bit longer!" I turned my head, now looking her straight in her green orbs.
" Sorry Sakura, I got things to do... Your shisou was in a bad mood..." I said, putting my hands in my pockets.
" Is that so... what it's about?"
" Chunnin exams test papers..." I stated, with desperate sigh.
" How many did you already check?" she asked me.
" None."
She choked and started coughing. " Are you for real? You will never make it!"
" Wanna bet?" I joked, but I knew this will be hard to do.
" No Kakashi, I don't bet, remember?" she raised her eyebrow. " But... I will help you with this one... I don't feel like going in bar anyway... Team 9 and 10 are there tonight, but I had it enough!"
" Well it's deal then... come in my apartment at 8 pm." I said and stood up. " Thanks for a dinner!" I shouted and I was out. Once when I was out, I heard her shouting behind me, something like ' The same as Naruto' and ' You will pay for it', but I just smiled under my mask, walk towards my home, even I didn't have any strong wish anyway...
Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
it doesn't matter any more
So I was sitting in front of my table in my kitchen, test papers all over, some even on the floor. My head rested in my palm, cold beer in front of my eye, which was almost closed. Yeah, typical we could say...
I glanced wall clock and it was showing 8.15 pm. Sakura supposed to be here already, god knows where she got lost. I dropped my pencil and stretched myself fully and stood up. I was behind this paper for an hour, but I did almost nothing... god how is this annoying! Next time she offers me this job, I will choose a mission instead of this... I moved from my table to the refrigerator, opening it widely, popping my head inside of it. It was almost empty in fact, except for few beers, milk since last year, some vegetables and something weird, which I just don't think it would be smart to open and check.
I grabbed one more beer and opened it with a bare hand. I was on my way to the table, where I heard tapping on my window. Checking chacra signature, I knew it without checking it twice... after all I was her teacher for almost two years. She was on my window, smiling to me. But I waved to her with my free hand. She showed on window, trying to tell me to open it. But I just shaken my head and with my thumb showed on my doors. She rolled her eyes and disappeared from window. Moving to my table, I sit on my chair again, crossing my hands on my chest, waiting for her. After few seconds there was quick knock on my doors and then they opened, pink haired kunoichi entered, not quite happy.
" Well, hello Sakura!" I greeted, waving to her with my beer. " I was asking myself if you will come!"
" Hi Kakashi!" she greeted, with less enthusiastic and pulled out chair opposite mine. " Sorry for being late..." she said with a murmur and without any other word, opened her pencil and pulled out first test paper she could find.
I was quiet for some moments, watching her with caution. She noticed my gaze, moved her gaze away from me and after few moments she sighed put her pencil on table, facing my eyes with hers.
" What?" she almost hissed.
" Nothing..." I said, putting my beer next to this tests and grabbed my pencil, focusing on paper in front of me.
" I know there is something, what?" she crossed her hands on her chest, glaring me.
" There is nothing wrong with me Sakura... you came in here with all this negative energy!" I tried to tease her a bit, waving with my hands around my head, trying to make he feel a bit better.
She only sighed and returned to test papers. " Never mind..." she said.
" Do you still remember how it was like when we were still in the same team?" I tried to break the silence between us after few minutes.
" Sorry?" she raised her head, looking me straight in my eyes. That pink strand on her face made her look so innocent, while all her hair were tightly in ponytail. She was actually dressed in her usual red dress with Haruno clan sign on her back, but without any shirt under. In fact, only then I realised that she was dressed exactly the same way she was dressed when she was 12.
" Chunnin exams... do you remember how it was back then..." I repeated and showed her a test paper.
She changed her colour on her cheeks, turning on pink and her gaze moved down. " Yeah... I guess..." she mumbled, but I knew exactly why and I realised too late. That time Orochimaru showed up and attacked Konoha... and Sasuke left. Well, good one Kakashi! The only time when you try to cheer her up you screw up. Good work.
" Yeah... it was... fun..." she sighed and leaned back on her chair. " I wonder how it would be if Sasuke wouldn't left and he would stay in Konoha..." she surprised me with her statement. This was for first time she started conversation about Sasuke.
" Quite the same I think... he and Naruto would get each other on their nerves, competing and being best friends..." I tried to answer her question even I knew it's hard for her to listen to this.
" I think he would leave... this or another way... He had a goal in his head and if I knew him, even just a bit, he would do anything just to complete it... He hated Konoha..." she sighed after she finally said it out loud.
" We are individuals and as individuals we have individual mind and thinking. He wanted something what he couldn't find in Konoha, at least he thought so and he went to Orochimaru. You stayed here and become the best kunoichi in Konoha, right after that horrible leader, Tsunade-sama." she chuckled, at my statement but still looking down as I continue. " ... and you improved, more than you think..." I stopped, looking for her reaction. " And I'm really proud on you, Sakura."
She raised her head, smiled to me. It wasn't full of happiness and proud like it used to be, but it was small... form her heart. " Thank you sensei..." she said, but her smiled fainted. " But... I guess no one else sees this..." she whispered, putting her heels on the edge of her chair, putting her chin on her knees.
" What are you talking about Sakura! Everyone know that you are the best kunoichi in Konoha!" I said, not really knowing what she is want to say with that.
" Not in this meaning Kakashi... I mean about myself... personally." she glared me, but her her gaze softened. " Everyone think that I'm the same as I was six years ago. Naïve, stupid, easy... everyone sees in me just one night stand..." she said, with a bit embarrassment in her voice.
Oh, so this is what she was talking about... damn...
" Don't say that..." I started, but she cut me with anger in her voice.
" Kakashi, you have no idea about me!! You might know my skills and fighting methods, but you have no a clue about my social life!" she stated, but she has no idea how much I know her in every possible side.
" Sakura..." I started slowly " I don't believe that guys sees in you only one-night stand. You're not that shallow, but you just think that way. Believe me, I was your sensei but I wasn't focused only on your fighting skills. If you want to be good team with your comrade you need to look underneath the underneath. You're not shallow and you're not only one-night stand. Your heart is hurt, that's all."
I could see how tears started gathering in her eyes, taking that special shine from her green orbs and her lip started trembling. But she bit in her lower lip and brushed away her tears. Taking deep breath she looked me in my eyes but moving her gaze away.
" W-when I was on my way here..." she started with a whisper. " I run in a guy, with whom I had sex once before. He stopped me and wanted to know why I didn't return him his calls and why I'm acting like an Ice queen..." she stopped, but continued few moments later. " And I told him, that I'm not interested in him and what happened that time it was just because I had a glass too much... then he started insulting me, my family... I managed to keep myself in place, but then... he started insulting team 7 and... then he mentioned Sasuke and that... Kakashi I couldn't control myself anymore..." she finally looked me in the eye, which was widen in surprise after what I've heard from her.
" What did you do to him?" I asked her slowly.
" I just kicked him with chacra in his balls..." she whispered, trying to cover her blush.
" Harsh..." I stated and took my beer in my hand, making another sip.
" That's why I was so pissed when I came here... but now I don't know why I did that in first place. I swallow every insult of me and my family, but when he started spitting on my team it was like the he would burst a bubble..."
" I know what you mean by that..." I nodded, crossing my arms on my chest. " You're a shinobi and you're not so attached on your family as you would be if you would be an ordinary citizen of Konoha. You spent more time with your team than with your family. It's natural... and I feel honoured that you feel like this to your team."
" Thank you Kakashi..." she smiled a faint smile.
" No prob... I'm always here for you. I just wonder..." I put my finger under my chin. " Will he be able to have any kids in future?"
She chuckled. "Probably not..."
" Harsh!" I repeated, now looking at her. " Please let me know when I will make you so angry... I don't want to experience something like this!"
" Don't worry, Kaka-sensei... you're like my dad!" she giggled and concentrated on test papers in front of her.
' Dad, is that so...' I don't know why I feel so down after hearing this, but I'm sure that it's nothing.. really nothing.
" Kakashi-sensei!" she called my name and I turned my head to her, finding her with her eyes widen open. " Do you want have kids in future?"
Well she caught me here. If I want kids? I've never thought on kids, to tell the truth and now I have no idea what I should answer. Kids, huh... those loud, chubby, always hungry, annoying, dirty little things? That I would hold something so fragile in my hands, looking how he or she grows up, from baby to a kid and then through teenager period and then marrying someone... well... if I would have a kid, I would definitely try to teach him/her being a good shinobi and a good person. I would play with him/her, feed them... I think this wouldn't be too bad... but then again... having a child means having even more responsibilities, for a kid, job, money... this is kinda troublesome...
" Maybe... never thinking about it..." I said quite honestly.
" But Kaka-sensei... for having a kid you need a wife... I've never saw you with another woman, except Kurenai, Tsunade, Anko, Tenten, Hinata and me... are you even... you know interested in women?"
I couldn't help myself and I let out loud laugh. She has a point here... I would need a wife... " Yeah, I suppose I would need a wife... and yes, I'm interested in women."
" Aha.."
" I'm old Sakura-chan... maybe I will stay alone with my IchaIcha.. I wouldn't mind... and after all, I have you for taking care for me!" oh, how I wanted to slap myself for the last statement... where did this come out anyway?!
" Yeah..." she blushed..." You have me.."
it's not always rainbows and butterflies
it's compromise that moves us along, yeah
my heart is full and my door's always opened
you can come anytime you want
" Kaka-sensei... you're enough time on this world and you know everything..." she started while we were checking test papers in silence for a while.
" Sakura!" I teased her with offended voice. " I'm not that old!"
" I didn't mean that, sensei! I just want to say, that I believe you are old enough for answering my question!" she smirked.
" Well then, if you think I'm wise enough... shoot it."
" Do you ever wish you would be a normal citizen of Konoha and not a shinobi?" she asked me with a serious voice, looking me in my eye.
" I've never though on this one..." I said, putting my pencil on the test paper. " You see... it's not always rainbows and butterflies, specially in our lives. We have to live for Hokage and Konoha and it's always hard to create new style of life, specially if you mean involving another person. For me it was always like this, that my family expected from me to follow my father's steps and becoming a shinobi. And I gave up on living as a normal citizen and I'm not regretting though."
" But, don't you want a family?" she asked with a strong voice.
" As I said before, Sakura. I've never thought on a family or babies. If I wouldn't be a shinobi, maybe I would have a kid or two. You never know. But until now, my family is my team and I don't need anyone else. Why are you asking me this anyway?" I wanted to know why she started this conversation.
" Because I want a family in a future, but I don't know if this would be a smart decision. I want to be there for my children, not always on missions or in hospital, but if you are a shinobi, you have to be always available for Hokage or as a doctor. Now I am asking myself if I made a good decision and became a kunoichi..."
I understand her, what she is trying to say. Being a shinobi in everything else than easy life. We have to fight, put our lives on a line in order to protect our village and having a child is not an easy thing. " Don't worry Sakura about this... everything will come with a future. You never know what tomorrow will bring. I have to confess you, that I have no idea, what to say to you about it... but I do know one thing." I looked her in her eyes, looking for her attention. " I do know, that you would be a great mother to your children. Remember this! After all, I am the wise sensei of yours!"
I made her laugh sweetly and in a second I heard in her voice that carefree laugh I used to listen when she was twelve. Without any other word she returned to her test papers, smiling to herself. I watched her how she was checking all those test papers, her face concentrated on them, her brows were once together, once relaxed. She raised her head, meeting my eye. " What?"
" Nothing..." I said and returned my attention to tests. Better for me not to drink too much tonight.
-
Sakura raised her hands above her head, let out loud yawn and stretched from toe to head. Her body tensed, every muscle moved. I rubbed my eye, which was almost closed. Damn this exams. It's almost three in the morning and we are finally on the end of this torture. Thankfully I had Sakura on my side, helping me, or else I would failed terribly... but I won't said this out loud, I'm a man after all.
" This is so tiring... are we finished?" She moaned, while she rested her head on the table, looking at me with a sleepy expression. Her eyes were almost closed, but she still looked so beatif-.
" Just this one..." I pointed on paper, which I just finished.
" Oh, thank you kami-sama!!" she moaned and stood up, again, stretching. Her shirt lifted up and her abdomen was revealed, smooth, small and pale. There was also a scar she got it once, when he wasn't with her in a squad. Who would thought she will let it be there. Probably she just wanted keeping it, for her to remember on that night, when she almost died. But her pants were also extremely low and her muscles were seen, which continued behind those pants of hers. I found myself staring in her and in a second moved my gaze away. Oh, this perverted side of me...
" I will go now... I can't wait to lay down in my bed... see you tomorrow?" she asked me with a tired voice while she ran with her hand through her hair.
" Hm..." I said and stood up too.
She was on her way to the doors and I was walking after her, when she turned around and made me stop from walking. " And thank you... for listening my problems... it really means a lot to me!"
" Sakura, you know you can always come to me, 24/7. My door's are always opened you can come anytime you want." I smiled and patted her on her head. She smiled to me back and exited my apartment, smiling to me. Oh, what did I get myself into?
I know where you hide
alone in your car
know all the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls
" So Kakashi, you are saying that you've finished all the papers?" Hokage asked me. I was standing in front of blond haired Konoha leader, Tsunade.
" Yes." I answered simply. " I had a good fairy on my side, helping me." I smiled under my mask.
" Oh, really... I thought I ordered her to take a weekend off." she said behind her hands, which were in front of mouth.
" Well, you know... this fairies don't know when to stop!" I scratched behind my head, laughed a bit.
" Kakashi... I have a mission for you..." she ignored my statement, not laughing a bit.
" Oh..."
" It's A-rated." she continued, looking at me under her lashes. " And since, you are one of elite shinobi in this village, I'm sending you to do this mission."
" I understand. What is this mission about?" I asked with serious voice, knowing now it's not the right time to joke around.
" There is one missing-nin who is destroying towns on the edge of Konoha's borders. In this scroll..." she passed me a scroll and I opened it, starting reading it. It's about a shinobi who is revenging to Konoha for the reason unknown. He managed to destroy 5 towns already and he are moving quickly. He's also raping women and let them burn after that...
" Hokage-sama, what about his abilities..." I started, but I was cut by her.
" I also have a favour to ask you." I raised my eyebrow " Hatake Kakashi, I want you to return in ANBU again."
" Excuse me..." I almost chocked.
" I said that I want you back in ANBU."
" With all my respect Hokage-sama. I have no intention returning back in ANBU, that period is behind me and I'm not looking behind. I moved forward and for me it's fine to be a jounin. I will handle this mission on my own and I appreciate yours worries, but I've survived a lot more dangerous missions before." I stated, a bit angry for suggesting this to me. I have no intention returning back in ANBU.
" I understand. What about taking someone with you..." she still didn't want to stop.
" I will handle this on my own, thank you. Is there anything else you want to tell me?" I said, not quite in a good mood.
She was looking me for few seconds, our eyes fighting with unspoken words, but then she closed her eyes, sighing. " All right then Hatake. You're leaving tomorrow morning at 5 o'clock. I'll be waiting for your report about a mission."
" Hai!" I answered and disappeared in a puff.
It was almost midnight, when I was returning on the main street back home. Bars and restaurants were still opened and from them you would hear loud music, at least from bars. I had my hands in my pockets and slowly moving back home. I was on training grounds, getting ready on tomorrows mission. It wasn't smart though.
I passed a bar, where my team and others were often in and today were there too, unfortunately. As I wanted to pass the bar Gai saw me and of course started with his usual things.
" Kakashi, my friend of youth! I was looking for you today because I came up with a next challenge for you!" he shouted and of course everyone who were there turned towards me. Great, now I will have to stop here too. Great, just great.
" Is that so..." I said and stepped closer to him.
" Indeed. I challenge you..." he started.
" I've lost.." I sighed, not interested in his challenges right now.
" I win! It's 257 for me and 258 for Kakashi! Lee... the power of youth is still with me!" he started crying his oh and so big tears.
" Hai Gai-sensei!"
I looked around the table and saw that there are almost everyone from rookie 9. except my team. " Is Sakura here?" I asked because I wanted to see her and tell here that I'm leaving on a mission.
" She was here ten minutes ago, but I have no idea where she got lost..." Ino answered, but I had that feeling... " I will go and find her." I said and entered the bar, looking around, where this pink haired kunoichi is. What is wrong with her? She started acting just like Hokage; drinking way too much. Finding her playing on those machines would be just too much for me to handle. I mixed in the crowd, using my sharp, uncovered eye for looking her. How hard is to find pink haired kunoichi in this bar? I guess quite hard, since here is nothing even familiar to pink. Low growl passed my mouth and I turned around, leaving the bar.
" Oh, just piss off!" well, this voice is quite familiar to my ears. It's a strange mix of innocence girl and independent woman. So my head followed the voice and I caught a sight of this young woman who I was looking for all this time. There was Sakura, glaring at a shinobi, who was a chunnin or a jounin and yelling on him. He was holding her forearm, having drunk-flirtatious expression on his face. Oh, where is this world going this days? Maybe I should suggest Tsunade to order those teachers in academy to teach boys how to flirt and talk to a lady. So I took my step closer to boiling Sakura and grabbed that boy's wrist, holding him firm, firm enough to let her go immediately.
" I think she said to piss off..." I said calmly, looking this boy in his eyes, which were obviously blurry.
" Who the fuck do you think you are?" he tried to play macho. And I sighed again. Today it's just not my day.
" Apologise to a lady and we will be friends again, 'kay?" I smiled fake smile.
" Let me kick his ass, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura tried to jump on a boy, but I stopped her with my second hand, pushing her back. " Now Sakura... calm down! We don't want to fight, do we?" I asked her, hoping she will calm down.
" Dude... this is famous Copy Ninja!" one of the boys said to the boy I was holding his wrist.
" Tsc, ya right! He is just a old hag, not a Copy ninja! I would finish him off in ten seconds!" he snorted and winked to Sakura. Oh, just why does he have to make this even harder.
"Oh yeah? Well then, try to pull out your hand of his fist!" she bite back.
" Sakura..." I said her name in warning tone, but she just leaned her petite body into mine.
" Well, then it's a deal!" he raised himself a bit, slipping his tongue out from his mouths, licking his lips. " I will kick this hag's ass and then I will take you with me!"
" Hah, this will be finish in five seconds, you looser!!" she snorted and pulled my sleeve. " Won't be, sensei?"
" I won't fight Sakura." I pointed out, letting this boy's wrist, putting my own hands in my pockets.
" Hah, I knew it! He is just too afraid for his bones!" but I just ignored that boy, focusing on Sakura.
" I just wanted to tell you, I'm leaving on a mission!" I continued.
" Like what, gardening around with some old hags like you?
Still ignoring. " Hokage is sending me on solo, even she wanted me to..."
" Take someone with you in case if your back won't take it anymore?"
"... I will ask you to take care of Mr. Ukki and you know the usual things..." I said to her and she just nodded. " I will be leaving now..." I told her, but that guy, started going on my nerves with his oh and so 'hilarious' comments, like with the last one : ' To take a rest and hope he will wake up next morning, for his mission.' . In a second we were facing with each other, my hands were on the each side of his chair, glaring at his dangerously.
" I'll give you a really useful and good advise. Get the fuck out of here and stop jumping in my conversation with my friend over there." I showed with my head on Sakura. " Or else, I will be forced to use this little thing over here..." I said and slowly lifted my head protector from my covered eye and exposed my Sharingan. That guy on a chain in front of me widen his eyes and start sweating heavily.
" I- I- I'm so s-s-sorry Hatake-san... I- I didn't recognise you... please excuse me, I have something to do right now, guys let's go." he said and in a second he and his friends were gone. There, this is how to get ride of chickens like this.
" So, Sakura..." I said and turned to my ex-student who was giggling. " Would you do this for me?"
" Of course, sensei!" she said and burst in a laughter... and I just couldn't help myself not to smile under my mask. She is just so sweet to look while she is laughing.
" You're such a show off, sensei!" she said while she was catching her breath.
" Well, I just needed to show him my eye. I think I did it quite cool, don't you think?" I joked a bit and observed her face.
" So full of yourself!" she elbowed me in the ribs teasingly and laughed more, when we walked towards our friends.
... and she will be loved
" I'm going home with you sensei... I don't feel like being here anyway!" we said good night to all of our friends and together we hit the road, towards our homes.
" Hey, sensei, what kind of a mission you're going?" she asked me, after we walked down the street in silence.
" Hm?" I turned my head to her, not quite sure what she just asked me. I was deep in my thoughts.
" What kind of mission?" she asked me again, looking me in the eye.
" A- ranked."
" It's strange... I mean, she would send someone with you just in case... after all, it's an A." she pointed out. Well, she did want to send someone with me, but I refused, not quite sure why I did that. Since I've read that scroll, this strange feeling that just won't go away. And it's this kind of feeling, which is just like a small voice inside of my head that is telling me this mission won't go as I'm plaining. Something big will happen.
" Well, you know Hokage-sama. You never know what she will do next." why bothering her with my decisions... she has enough of her own problems. I will be just fine as I was thousands times before this. Maybe this feeling is broken or something...
" I would go with you if she would want another shinobi on this mission. I need to go out of here for some time. How long will you be gone?"
" Not sure... as long as it will take. Maybe two weeks, a month." I shuddered with my shoulders.
" Is something wrong sensei?" well great, she noticed. Oh, just why did I have to train her so good??
" Nothing is wrong." I tried to lie, but failed, once when I saw her face, which was glowing with determination that she will find out. " I'm telling you a truth! Nothing is going on!"
" Aha." she mocked, putting her hands on her hips.
Sigh. Oh well, she won't give me a break if I don't tell her. " Tsunade-sama wants me to go back in ANBU." there I told here. " Now, can I go home?"
" And what did you say to her?" she asked me, not moving from her spot.
" That ANBU is a past. I'm not going back there, I'm happy with being just a jounin." I answered her truthfully, turned my back to her walking away from her.
Suddenly someone grabbed me from behind, pulling me into an embrace. I turned my head in surprise to see and found pink haired kunoichi, embracing me and her face was hidden away from me. Oh Sakura, you silly woman. You truly are a young woman with child heart and mind; and this is how you will stay in my eyes even when you will be old and married. Innocence isn't part of you, you are an innocence.
" Thank you Kakashi-sensei... for choosing this way. If you would become an ANBU again... who would love me instead?" she whispered into my back but I've heard it clearly... too clearly.
' Sakura... you will be loved... I promise on my own life...' I said to myself. I'm disgusting, for feeling this way... is it already too late? Too late to kill this feelings?
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
" You silly girl!" I laughed out, but in friendly tone and pulled her in front of me, facing me with her. " Even if I would choose to be an ANBU again, this wouldn't mean that I wouldn't love you anymore. You're my friend, daughter, mother..." I shaken my head left and right. " You've became one of my closest friends I've ever had..." god, why am I telling her this things? Why don't I stop myself?
" I feel the same thing for you... but this mission... more than I think about it... I don't have a good feeling about this..." oh, so I'm not the only one who feels like this.. well, damn. " And you're fully aware this feeling of mine is pretty sharp... I will go to shisou and ask her if I can go with you..." she was on her way to go in the Tower, but I grabbed her shoulders, making her stop.
" Sakura, listen to me. I don't have good feeling about this, but I will do it..."
" See!! You see, that you have the same feeling... just let me go to Tsunade!" she pleaded.
" No! Sakura, I said no. please, just...." I have to calm down myself. If I let my emotions go their own way won't help me even for a bit. " ... just take care of Mr. Ukki and my apartment. I will be back in a month maximum and then we will see, we were just over reacting!"
" I'm not over reacting, damn it!" she hissed. " Damn it, Kakashi! Just let me go to Tsunade and I will go with you!"
" No Sakura, I told you once and I won't repeat myself. I will do this mission on my own! They need you here!" I insisted.
" Fuck you Kakashi, for being so fucking stubborn!" she pulled out of my grip. " Just..." she lowered her voice and turned around, showing me her back. "Just... why are you trying so hard to say goodbye?" she whispered.
" I'm not trying to say goodbye... I just want to..." I started, but she raised her hand, telling me to shut up.
" You know what... never mind. Come back safe and let me know you're back. I'm tired... I'm going home. Goodnight."
And with this, she was gone. And I messed up everything. Good job Hatake, you really are an idiot.
I don't mind spending everyday
out on your corner in the pouring rain
It's almost 5 am. I have no idea how I managed to get to the doors in time. Maybe I couldn't sleep because of a fight between me and Sakura or it was something else. In fact. I don't know and I don't even care. The only thing what is now on my mind is my mission. I have to finish it without any mistakes.
I was standing in the middle of a street, still in complete dark, but street light was enlightening my path, which was empty and surrounded with darkness. I glanced for the last time the thing I was looking for god know how long. It's time for me to get going.
' Goodbye'... and with this I turned my gaze away from her window, where the light off and slowly started walking to the gates, leaving her alone for god know how long time. Maybe if I survive we will meet again...
She was standing in front of her window, looking the only person on the street, leaving. A tear fell on the solid ground... saying last goodbye.
try so hard to say goodbye...