Approach and listen my pupils. I do not own any X-Men Evolution characters. I just wondered about something. Pietro is going to try and get the Brotherhood in shape to fight the X-Men. How is he going to do that? Remember people, this is Pietro we are talking about…
Practice Doesn't Always Make Perfect
"Of all the stupid things we have done," Lance grumbled as he looked at his white training uniform. "This is the dumbest."
"Where did he get these karate uniforms?" Todd looked at his.
"I made them," Pietro told them. He was wearing a black and silver uniform with a headband sporting a ying-yang symbol.
"Well that explains how you got one that fits Blob," Lance said.
"I like it," Fred said. "It's comfy and not snug in the back."
"All right pupils," Pietro clapped his hands. "It is time now that we start your training!"
"Oh I can't wait to see how this turns out," Lance grumbled sarcastically.
"Look the only way you morons are ever going to get into Magneto's new gang is if you beat the X-Men!" Pietro told them. "And the only way you are going to do that is if you train! Do you want to be losers all your lives?"
"No," They grumbled.
"No what?"
"No sir," They grumbled even louder.
"Very good," Pietro smiled. "You're learning. Now the first thing we do is stretch our bodies. Start by touching your toes. Blob your toes are those things on the end of your feet."
"Quicksilver I swear I'm gonna…" Fred growled.
"Cool it Blob," Lance told him. "Just do as he says…for now."
"Okay now let's warm up!" Pietro said. "And stretch and bend and stretch and bend and one and two…" He made several different stretches quickly.
"Hey slow down Pietro!" Lance snapped.
"This is slow for me!" Pietro told him. "Keep going! Follow me!"
The boys tried but could not follow Pietro's rapid movements. They ended up collapsing in a heap. "Okay that was good for a warm up," Pietro told them. "Now the real work begins."
"I'm gonna die," Fred moaned.
"Not unless I tell you to," Pietro said. "Now I want you to visualize yourselves beating the X-Men as you do twenty laps around the backyard."
"How about you visualize us doing the laps while we take a nap?" Todd moaned.
Pietro blew a whistle into his ear. "MOVE IT!"
Reluctantly the Brotherhood began to run. "You know something?" Lance panted. "I think I have just had a vision. I see it now, as clear as day. I'm gonna kill Pietro. I am going to kill Pietro!"
"Yeah," Todd said. "I see it too!"
"So do I," Fred grunted. "Does your vision include a pair of tongs, some hot coals, an anthill and barbecue sauce?"
"No but I can totally see where you are going," Lance grumbled.
"Come on you slowpokes!" Pietro snapped. "Let's hustle! Move it! Move it! Move it!"
At the end of the laps they all collapsed. "Even my butt hurts from all this running," Todd grumbled.
"Okay now we are really going to train!" Pietro said. "Everybody up!"
"Oh goody," Todd grumbled as he got up.
"Now for our first exercise I want all of you to attack me," Pietro said.
"Attack you?" Fred punched his fist into his open hand. "I think we can handle that."
"Yeah maybe this isn't such a lame idea after all," Lance smirked.
"Oh I am going to enjoy this!" Todd growled.
"The object of this exercise is to try and take me down," Pietro smirked.
"With pleasure," Lance growled as he shot off a tremor straight at Pietro.
Pietro merely sped away. "Yeah that will work Lance!" He laughed.
"Laugh this off funny boy!" Todd shot out several globs of slime.
"Oh this isn't even a challenge!" Pietro snapped as he easily dodged Todd's assault. "Like your slime is going to bring me down!"
"Hey don't knock it!" Todd snapped as he kept shooting. "It's good for a lot of things yo!"
"Yeah like making a mess!" Pietro laughed as he easily dodged Fred's swipes.
"Oh you are really asking for it Pietro!" Fred snarled.
"Oh I'm shaking! You guys are pathetic! No wonder you losers always get beat by the X-Geeks!" Pietro laughed as he zipped around. "You'll never AAAAHHH!" He screamed as he slipped on Todd's slime on the ground.
"I told you my slime was good for something," Todd said as Pietro skidded uncontrollably on the ground.
"MAKE IT STOP! AAGGGH!" Pietro screamed as he slid into a tree. He hit it dead center and ended up flat on his back.
The boys went up to him. They looked at Pietro lying unconscious on the ground. "Is he dead?" Todd asked.
"Nah he's just out cold," Fred told him. "Anybody wanna go get a burger?"
"Blob that is the smartest idea you have ever had," Lance told him. They turned around and started to leave.
"Wait a minute," Todd stopped. "We can't leave him like this!" He ran back and fished Pietro's wallet out of his uniform. "Got some cash yo!"
"Good thinking Toad," Lance told him as they left.