"Oh God, what I have done to her? I'm a monster. " He dropped the knife from his hand as tears started to glisten in his eyes, slowly rolling over his cheeks. "Ruby! I-I uh..." With shaking hands he stepped away before he would hurt anyone else around him. But he couldn't just leave her there. "I can't leave you here." Sam muttered and looked down at the almost lifeless body of the woman he had fallen in love with. Ruby's body trembled, blood pooling under her and a small trail of blood trickled out of her mouth when she tried to speak. No words came over her lips and she felt not only her body dying, but also her very soul being pulled into the dark and almost comforting emptiness of the void where pain would be nothing. But she couldn t escape the pain. A few tears ran down her cheeks as she was unable to hold them back any longer. Her lips formed only the word 'Why?' while no sound came over her lips. Black eyes slowly faded while her eyelids fluttered, one second black, the other normal but empty.
Sam's hand were still shaking when he slowly reached out to her. What had he done? The hunter dropped to his knees next to the soon lifeless body of the demon. No, she wasn't just a demon. This woman was his life. All he had ever wanted. If he wouldn't have known it already, he would know now. He loved her and it didn't matter if she was human or a demon. All that mattered to him was that she had been there when he felt lost and now he feared that he had lost her forever. The bloody knife dropped from his hand and he simply stared down at the body before him, sobbing, tears running down his cheeks while he felt as if his insides were torn apart, his heart burning, aching from the loss of his loved one. But then he slowly wrapped his arms around her lifeless body, hugging her to his chest as if he could press his life essence into her. If only that would have worked so easily. When he lifted her up, her body was much lighter than it used to be, blood starting to drip on him while her whole body was limp in his arms. Her heartbeat was still there, very weak and the movement of her chest was almost invisible, only seen should he take a closer look.
Slowly rising to his feet, Sam carried Ruby over to the couch, holding her close before slowly placing her on the couch. "Please...Ruby...don't leave me..." His whispered words only barely reached the blonde demon in the emptiness of the void she was locked in. But she kept fighting. She needed to be there, needed to live. Her will was strong, but her body was weak, her life essence and her soul slowly fading. Even when he put her on the couch, nothing changed, her body couldn t stay up on its own and her eyes slowly fell shut while her lips once again mouthed the word 'Why?' and again there was no sound coming over her lips.
More and more tears ran down Sam's bruised cheeks, his body trembling while he was still sobbing. He clenched his fist, gritting his teeth. This wasn't only his fault. But who was to blame? Dean. Yes, Dean was to blame. He had never liked her, had hated Ruby for being a demon, even though she was so different. Dean never wanted her near Sam and only because of him, only because of the things Dean said, Ruby was dying now. Trying to fight back the anger, Sam dropped on his knees again, grabbing one of her hands while crying out in pain. While he had known love before and had lost loved ones before, this was torture as his own heart felt like it was torn apart and consumed by the same void that threatened to take Ruby away now.
"Ruby-R-Ruby, if you can hear me I want to say I'm sorry I don't know what got into me..." Sam begged, his voice trembling while he gave a squeeze to her hand, burying his face on her bloody chest. "I...I think I can heal you...I have to try..." His voice reached her, even in that empty void she was slowly fading into. Deep down she screamed, tried to break free from the dark prison that was holding her but there was no way to escape. She felt so lost, for once truly scared. Things were so complicated, but there was one thing she was sure of after all this time. She loved him and this wasn't how she wanted to go. No, definitely not this way. Over and over again she tried to fight against that empty void, trying to break free. Sam slowly moved his other hand to rest on her forehead, a white, shimmering light slowly surrounding his fingers. Ever since he had a part of an angel in him, he had felt this power and this was the only thing he ever wanted to do with it, saving the woman he loved, protecting her.
Ruby's very soul was fading, slowly dying just like her body was as she began to give up hope, gave up the fight to slowly fade into nothingness. That was when she saw the light. A white light from how he tried so hard to heal her. Her body twitched and bucked as she arched her back. Suddenly her lips parted in an almost deafening scream, her eyes fading black once again. But then her body went limp again. The healing worked, but her body needed time to recover. Her eyelids fluttered and slowly opened again in their natural color while her lips opened and closed a few times until she managed to mutter only his name. "Sam..." Sam had used all the power he could to save Ruby, not caring what Dean would think. He always told him that when things are dead, they should stay dead, but Sam didn't see it that way when it came to Ruby. Sam knew Dean wouldn't like it, but he didn't care. All that mattered to him was that Ruby was alive. His body trembled and he began to fall backwards like a leaf falling from a tree, landing on his back, the movements of his chest barely visible. His back was up against the wall, his head hung to the side as he was too weak to lift it.
Slowly sitting up, still barely able to move, Ruby looked around. Bloody blonde strands falling over her face. Seeing Sam against the wall, tears began to glisten in her eyes she could barely hold back a few sobs. God, she loved him so much but why did he do this for her? She was just a demon after all. Carefully sliding off the couch, she slowly crawled over to him. Her body still trembled when she snuggled into him, her arms wrapping around him. Tears streamed down her cheeks while she nuzzled her cheek against his. "Sammy..." Ruby whispered, her voice still so very weak, but still carrying that soft tone only he ever got to hear from her. Sam could hear the sweet tenderness in her weak voice, but he was all locked inside his mind like a panic room or a cage. He did it so that Ruby could live her life, did it because he loved her and because he would do anything to keep her alive. Sam felt lost, confused.. Out of nowhere a bright shiny light hovered over his head like a search light.
Sam just closed his eyes, his body slowly growing more and more weak while the still trembling and crying demon held him in her arms. And the next thing he knew, he was gasping for air as he breathed heavily but still weak. "Ruby? " He muttered, wrapping his big arms around her, only wanting to keep her safe, having no idea what was going on or how he came back. "Ruby, are you okay?" Ruby's heart was pounding so hard in her chest that she felt like her chest would burst at any moment. How did it all happen so fast with them? And how could it all go so horrible? She couldn't lose him. She needed him more than anything else and just now she truly realized it. Realized how much she truly loved him. All this time she thought she just followed because of her own plans. But no. There was so much more. Her heart belonged to him, had belonged to him since she first laid eyes on him. And she wanted to protect him, wanted to make sure he was alright. Even when she felt his arms around her and heard his voice, she still couldn´t stop the tears from falling. "Sammy..." The blonde whispered, nuzzling into him. "I´ll be alright...just...don´t do this to me..." She sighed and her lips lightly touched his jaw. "I need you..."
Sam's lips formed into a weak smile. Hearing her talk made him feel like he was safe again." I promise Ruby I won't leave you. I had to save your life. You needed it more than I did. " Sam said in a weak, trembling voice, his eyes barely open. He could feel a sharp pain in his chest, almost as if he was having a heart attack. "If I end up dying, I want you to know how much I love you and care for you. I want you to live a happy life." Hearing his words, Ruby sobbed, one hand moving to hold his. Her other hand moved to rest on his chest, just over his heart while she just let the tears run over her cheeks. "You need your life...you have to live..." She muttered, her lips against his neck in a position where she felt safe with him and felt comfortable. "I love you too..." The blonde sniffed a little and closed her eyes. "But without you it wouldn't be a happy life."