Fear.
It's a funny thing. It can kill you, drive you insane, mock you or, like what happened to me, stop you from something wonderful.
Fear has destroyed years of my life. Years that I will never be able to get back.
I was scarred that if I paid attention to him I'd fall for him and then he'd beak my heart.
When I was angry I yelled at him because I thought that that was all I wanted to feel for him.
Hatred and Anger.
When I was upset I blamed it on him because I didn't want to admit that he could make me happy.
I never talked to him if it could be avoided. I didn't want to think that I could trust him with anything-not even the smallest thing.
I promised myself that I would never have anything to do with him. All because I thought that I was afraid that he would betray me and cause me more pain then he was worth and that I'd die because of him. Not once did I stop to ask questions or to see what was really going on.
I was scared, not that I would fall for him, because I already had, but that I wasn't good enough for him or that fate didn't want us together. I could handle him not wanting me, but us wanting to be together but fate not allowing it. I didn't think I could survive that.
I was wrong.
Fate did want us together. I now sat in his arms in front of our fireplace with our son Harry who had just seen his first Christmas.
There have been obstacles throughout our relationship, but fate kept throwing us back together.
I spent so many years of the time we could've had together worrying about fate getting in our way but I now feel stupid for letting that stop me.
I couldn't help laughing softly at how stupid I'd been, at all those years I spent afraid.
"Lilyflower? What is it?" James asked hugging me more tightly.
"Nothing interesting." I answered, "I just remembered something. That's all."
I closed my eyes. I was still afraid that something would happen to stop us from being together. But now that I was with him, I knew that he would be worth it. I would do anything for him just as he would for me.
We were meant to be together. That's how fate wanted it.
And however could fear beat fate?
This was for the 'Fear' challenge by sick-atxxheart.
Not the best because I haven't slept in days but I had to write it down before I forgot it.