He told her it was going to be simple but her hand is still trembling as she's pouring the drink and counting down droplets of transparent bitter-smelling liquid. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. They disappear inside the cup without a trace and yet they're still there and she needs to remember not to take a sip herself and not to let herself get kissed by Masaomi once it's on his lips.
She hides the rest of the poison in a cupboard quickly before Masaomi can waltz into the kitchen and see it and start asking questions. She doesn't like to indulge him with the details of her intricate dependency.
"So, how did it go?" Izaya asks her in a bored voice, his eyes still glued to the screen in front of him.
He's so heartbreakingly perfect her breath is stalled. Tears start escaping her eyes before she realizes what's happening.
"Here." She puts the cup down on the table in front of Masaomi.
He's staring at the TV, his mouth half-open as his wide amber eyes are absorbing the stupid show. He seems completely captivated. Saki pushes the cup towards him urgently. If it's supposed to happen, she wants it to happen quickly.
"It didn't work." She utters weakly.
"How come?" Izaya's eyes flicker to her face briefly before moving away as if she's nothing interesting to look at and stopping at the lights of Shinjuku behind the window. "You just didn't do that, right?" He asks with an exasperated sigh, turning away from her in his swivel chair.
"I did." She insists.
Masaomi drinks it in the end and the show ends just as he empties the cup and puts it back at the table. Saki's hand sneaks into his and drags him towards the beaten up couch. This apartment is so meager and Saki can't help thinking about Izaya's office at times like these. What does she need to do to earn her place there? Will this be enough?
"What?" Masaomi looks at her questioningly.
She has a completely absent look in her eyes but at the same time she seems to be waiting for something. Does it mean she wants him to kiss her? Masaomi's heart speeds up at the thought. They've been going out for quite a long time and there's been some affection between them but he's always had a feeling it's been only given out to him in small quantities, hesitantly, reluctantly.
"Nothing." She shakes her head and smiles.
"It just didn't work." She repeats.
"You must have done something wrong."
"I'm sorry." Saki is quick to apologize softly.
Izaya smiles to himself even as she can't see his face and the back of his chair is the only thing she can stare at with that hungry hope in her eyes.
Her hand travels to Masaomi's chest unexpectedly. Izaya has told her that poison was going to stop Masaomi's heart. It is still beating though.
Izaya is a liar. She already knows that well enough. It doesn't serve to make him any less enticing though.
Her hand is about to slide away when Kida's larger and warmer one wraps around it and pushes it back to where it was, right where his heartbeat can be clearly felt under her fingertips. He smiles at her.
She bets he can't tell what she's actually doing.
She wants to smile back at him but she ends up starting to cry. Not because of the monstrosity of what she was about to do but because it didn't work and she's still stuck playing the part of the girlfriend of one teenage gang leader because Izaya needs her to.
"Since you apparently wanted to save him, I'll let you two stay together sometime longer. Seeing as I'm the generous person you know me as."
The chair spins back and the eyes the color of crusted blood pierce right through her and she thinks how Izaya instantly knows everything, everything there is to know about her struggle. And how he's doing what he's doing out of pure unadulterated cruelty.
"You've tried drinking the rest of that poison, right?" He asks and smiles knowingly when she flinches.
It was very bitter.
And it didn't work on her either.