A/N: OK, so I started a new story... I was watching an SVU marathon the other night and inspiration struck, and as... interesting... as I think the response from some of you will be, it was an idea that I really wanted to explore... so here it is. I hope that you don't all hate it and/or wish to kill and dismember me, so... if you like it, please send me a review and let me know so that I know to keep uploading chapters, and if you don't... well, feel free to tell me why. But be nice. Please.

(Also, thanks very, VERY much to Hailey for all her encouragement while I was agonising about whether to write this =). It meant a lot to me.)

Olivia shook her head and took another gulp of wine. Urgh. She grimaced. It tasted like a mixture of off-brand Kool-Aid and vinegar. Remind me not to accept any more of that cheap wine Munch keeps under his desk. Then again, she hadn't exactly wanted it for a pleasant evening in. 12.5%vol suited her just fine.

I can't believe this actually happened.

I can't believe she got a gun into the precinct.

I can't believe I didn't see it.

I can't believe I let this happen.

She buried her head in her hands. I can't believe he actually shot her...

There was a sudden knock at the door and Olivia sighed, set the glass down on her kitchen countertop and went to the peephole. This better not be a fucking salesman- She stopped, breaking into a wide smile. 'El!' Thank God, he's finally seen sense, he really shouldn't be alone right now. She opened the door and gestured for him to come in. 'I'm so glad you're here.' She smiled reassuringly at him, reaching out to touch his arm. 'How are-'

'Just shut up, Olivia.' He pushed past her, barely meeting her eyes. He'd just been working himself up the whole way here, hell, the whole evening, getting angrier and angrier, and he was in no mood for any of her manipulative bullshit right now.

'What?' Olivia frowned, watching him pace restlessly around the room. 'El, are you OK?'

He took a deep breath, still trying to push down the anger that was building in his gut. 'Is there a reason why you fucked me over today, or do you just do it for kicks?'

Olivia blinked in surprise. What the hell is he talking about? 'El, I-'

'The gun, Olivia.' He turned towards her, his voice cold and clipped as he stared her down. 'The gun. You didn't spot it. You let her kill those people. You let her kill those people, Olivia, and then you let them blame me.'

Olivia's jaw dropped. 'Excuse me?'

Elliot felt a sudden burst of rage. That was the same look he'd seen on her face that day at the precinct, the same look that she'd dared to give him after he'd done what he had to do, done what she'd MADE him do, what she'd MANIPULATED him into doing, and now she was doing it again, that fucking selfish mocking-

Something inside him snapped.

'DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME!' He took a step towards her, swaying a little on the spot and grabbing the countertop for support. 'YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, YOU SELFISH BITCH!'

She looked him up and down, wrinkling her nose in disgust. 'You're drunk.'

'SHUT UP!' Self-righteous bitch, how dare she... Elliot felt another surge of rage, and now it was building again, slowly poisoning his entire body. 'You're the only one who fucking gets to drink, are you?' He gestured angrily at the half-empty bottle sitting on the counter beside her glass. 'Sitting here having a nice fucking nightcap while I watch my career going down the fucking toilet!'

'Oh, El...' She smiled reassuringly, putting her hand on his shoulder. 'El, your career isn't over, really-'

'I SAID SHUT UP!' Elliot shoved her away, grabbed the wine bottle off the table and threw it at her, barely missing her head as she threw herself out of the way.

Olivia gasped as the bottle shattered loudly against the white plaster, splattering wine all over her and covering the carpet in curved, broken shards of thick green glass. Oh my God. She blinked in shock, staring at the dark red liquid running down her wall. 'Jesus Christ, Elliot, what the hell is wrong with you-'

'Me? What's wrong with me?' Elliot laughed bitterly. 'You're the one who's ruined my fucking life! How could you not have noticed that stupid girl had a gun? How, Olivia? She wasn't exactly a pro!' He rolled his eyes, throwing his arms up in disbelief. 'I should have just let her shoot you and be done with it, at least then I might have gotten the fucking sympathy vote!'

No... Olivia felt like she'd been punched in the stomach. 'Elliot, you... you don't mean that-'

'DON'T TELL ME WHAT I MEAN!' His face was bright red, a vein pulsing in his forehead. 'It's true, Olivia, you know it is, I-' He stopped, giving her a look of disgust. 'Oh great, cry, that'll make everything better, right?' He snorted. 'Jesus Christ, Olivia, you're meant to be a grown-up, you're meant to be a fucking cop, but you all you ever do is act like a sad, stupid little girl who wants her mommy.'

Why is he doing this? Olivia could feel hot tears running down her face. 'El, that's not fair-'

'Maybe that's why you didn't notice the gun, huh, Olivia?' He grinned at her, putting on a mocking sing-song voice. 'Were you trying be just like mom, drinking the day away just to make having to put up with you just that little bit more bearable?'

'Fuck you.' Olivia forced herself to look him in the eye, desperately fighting the urge to just crumple into a ball on the floor and weep. 'You absolute heartless bastard.'

Elliot rolled his eyes. 'Am I? Am I a heartless bastard? Then why do you follow me around the fucking precinct making fucking doe eyes at me all the time? I go to get coffee, and when I turn around, you're there. Hell, even when I go to the bathroom I come out to find you waiting outside, holding some random file in your hand that apparently 'just can't wait, El!' Everyone thinks we're a couple, Olivia, and it's because of you! I hear them snickering and making comments whenever they leave us alone together!'

'El, that's not my fault-'

'It IS!' He let out a cry of exasperation. 'You act like you own me, Olivia, like I'm yours and yours alone, like you'd beat down anyone else who so much as looked at me! Remember that thing with Dani? Remember how fucking jealous you got? It's shit like that, Olivia, and it's stupid shit like this!' He grabbed the photograph of them together from the end table and threw it at her, the sharp edge of the frame striking her forehead and splitting it open.

Olivia cried out and staggered backwards, clutching at her face and feeling blood running through her fingers as the frame shattered at her feet. 'Jesus Christ, El-'

'STOP CALLING ME EL!'

'But I've always-'

'Only my wife calls me El, Olivia! Did you hear that? MY WIFE. You heard her do it and then suddenly YOU were doing it too, it was El this and it was El that, but Olivia, you will NEVER be my wife! I will never, EVER marry you, however much in love with me you are, BECAUSE I DON'T LOVE YOU!'

Olivia was staring at him in disgust, clutching a dishtowel to her forehead. 'You arrogant son of a bitch...' Like I'd want to marry you anyway. I mean, really. It hadn't even crossed my mind, not even once. It's not like I'm in love with you or anything. Why would I be?

He didn't seem to have heard her. 'You think you're so great for me, you think you'd be perfect for me, but all you ever do is let me down, Olivia, all you ever do is fuck me over, again and again and again, and you're too self-absorbed to even realise that you're doing it!'

Olivia gritted her teeth, fixing him in a cold stare, ignoring the thick streams of blood still running down the side of her face. 'Elliot, I have never, ever let you down.'

'Come ON, Olivia, are you really THAT stupid?' The rage was rising in Elliot's throat, a burning feeling spreading down his limbs and up towards his brain. 'Of course you have! You always do! Do you remember the time you got yourself stabbed, and the time you got me shot when I was undercover and you just HAD to drop in and say hi-'

'Elliot, I-'

'-or what about the time you got yourself and my pregnant wife into a car accident, we both know you engineered that one, don't we-'

'-No, Elliot-'

'-And the time you when you dragged me to Jersey to stalk your half brother-'

'Elliot, that is NOT fair, I didn't ask you to come-'

'OLIVIA, YOU DID!' He grabbed the lamp from the table and hurled it at the far wall, feeling the rage subside a little as he heard it break. 'You knew I'd go with you, you knew that I'd have to follow you, because you've deliberately manipulated me into constantly needing to watch out for you!'

Olivia's eyes narrowed. I am done trying to reason with this asshole. 'Elliot, I have never made you do anything.' She pointed at the door. 'Get out.'

'Yes, you have, you manipulative bitch, of course you have.' He lunged forward and shoved her back against the wall, and she could smell the alcohol on his breath as he held his face maybe three inches from hers, staring into her eyes. 'All you ever do is make me do things that I don't want to do, all you've ever done is make me miserable, you just keep on making my life worse and worse and worse-'

'Elliot, what the hell do you think you're doing?' Olivia shoved him hard in the chest, trying to fight back an instinctive surge of panic. Don't worry, it's El, he won't hurt you, you know he won't... 'Get the hell off me!'

'Why, am I triggering your PTSD, you know, that thing you put on to make everyone feel sorry for you, to give you yet another reason to play the fucking martyr? 'Oh, I know it's awful for me to have to hear now that I'm even more special, but I'll go and talk to these victims anyway.'' He faked a sniff and mimed wiping his eye with his forefinger. ''After all, they need me.''

She tried to push him away but he forced her back again, leaning in closer, his face less than an inch from hers. 'You think that everyone wants to fuck you because you're so fucking desirable, so I'm clearly going to try and rape you, right?' He snorted. 'Do you have any idea how much everyone laughs at you when you swan in every morning with your perfect hair and your perfect makeup, in your carefully-chosen, just-barely-professional, fuck-me outfit that probably cost more than a semester of my kids' tuition at Hudson?' He laughed and yanked roughly at the dark fabric of her shirt, ripping it along one seam and exposing several inches of tanned abdomen. 'It's your JOB, Olivia, it's BUSINESS, not a fucking PHOTOSHOOT!'

She stared at him, wrinkling her nose in disgust. 'Get away from me, you son of a bitch.'

'Make me.' He stared right back, and she felt a cold chill. There was something she didn't like in his eyes.

She felt him grab her wrists and pin them painfully against the wall, and something inside her snapped. ENOUGH. She took a deep breath and kneed him hard in the crotch, stumbling away from him as he staggered backwards swearing angrily and cursing her. 'Shut the FUCK up, Elliot, I am so FUCKING sick of listening to your fucking BULLSHIT right now!' You don't think I've had an awful day too, you selfish bastard? 'NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!'

Elliot managed to force himself upright, so angry now that he could barely think straight. 'My bullshit? MY bullshit?'

'Yes, YOUR bullshit, because you know what, Elliot?' Olivia's face was just as red as his now, her hair sticking to her scalp with sweat as she clenched her fists. 'You keep blaming me for this shit but it's all you, you've ruined everything for yourself, you've let yourself down, it's because of your damn attitude problem and your stupid testosterone macho-man thing that you're in this mess! All this crap about how I did this, I did that, it's all bullshit, because it's ALL YOUR FAULT!'

Red spots exploded in front of Elliot's eyes and he let out a yell of rage, lunging towards her, and she dodged him and ran, dashing for her phone on the end table by the couch-

She was almost there, reaching out for it, when Elliot grabbed her gun from the countertop and shot her in the back.

Olivia felt the wind knocked out of her as a searing pain shot through the small of her back, and then she was crashing awkwardly to the ground as her legs went from under her, sprawling facedown on the carpet.

Oh no, he didn't, he wouldn't have... She fought back the urge to burst into tears. I trusted him...

Suddenly he was leaning over her and yanking her onto her back, his face contorted with rage, and she slapped him hard across the face, trying to pull herself to her feet and get away from him. Oh God, why can't I move my legs? She took a deep breath and started screaming at the top of her lungs. 'HELP ME, SOMEONE, PLEASE, HEL-' He punched her hard in the chest and she gasped, and then he was trying to pin her again and she lashed out at him with her free hand, leaving a long trail of scratch marks across his cheek.

'God DAMN YOU!' Elliot jerked his fist back and punched her hard in the face, over and over and over, and Olivia felt the world around her starting to spin. She instinctively raised her hands to protect herself and he swore loudly at her, roughly shoving her hands away, and then he was grabbing her neck with both hands and choking her, hearing her gagging as he tightened his hands around her throat.

Oh God... Olivia was clawing frantically at his fingers, desperately willing her legs to kick, and then she suddenly burst into tears as she realised what was really, actually happening to her, who was doing this to her... El, why, why... She looked up into his eyes, silently begging him to stop and think about what he was doing. El, it's me, I thought you loved me... She started to sob harder, feeling him keep choking her. You're the only man I've ever trusted, you're the only man I've ever really loved...

'WHY DO YOU ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING FOR ME, YOU STUPID BITCH?' He hit her hard across the face, splitting her lip open against her teeth. 'Everything that's ever happened, everything that's ever gone wrong for me, it's ALL YOUR FAULT, EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT!'

Olivia let her arms drop to her sides, forcing herself to stop crying. Fine. Do it. I'm not going to try and stop you any more. She looked up at his face, calmly looking into his eyes as she lay there and let him choke her. Just do it, El.

Elliot felt a fresh surge of irrational rage and started to choke her harder, contorting her neck uncomfortably as he shook her. Why does she always have to play the fucking long-suffering martyr? She blinked slowly and he lashed out again, catching her hard across the forehead with his fist. 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, OLIVIA? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME?'

She kept looking up at him, calmly watching his face as he strangled her, feeling her body go limp as her life slowly ebbed away, and then suddenly a faint look of surprise flickered across her face and she let out a small choked gasp, her eyes widening as the last of the life left in them faded into nothing.

'Fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU...' Elliot hit her again, tightening his grip on her throat and shaking her, silently cursing her under his breath. 'FUCK YOU, OLIVIA, FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID SELF-RIGHTEOUS BULLSHIT!' He yanked her neck roughly forwards and struck her hard in the jaw, seeing her face turning sharply to the right and feeling her neck snap beneath his fingers.

She was limp and still as he shook her, and he felt another burst of burning rage. 'ALWAYS WITH THE FUCKING MARTYR CRAP!' He hit her again, and then again and again and again, her head lolling loosely from side to side. 'FOR GOD'S SAKE, OLIVIA!' He let out a cry of exasperation and threw her roughly back down onto the floor to sprawl silently onto her back, her neck twisted and bent at a painfully unnatural angle.

DAMN HER, damn her, damn her, damn her... Elliot bent over, breathing heavily, the rage slowly ebbing away and his mind finally clearing. What the hell just- He looked down and felt his stomach lurch in horror.

'Liv?'

A/N: Umm... so... what did you think?

The next few chapters (and in fact the whole story) will revolve around Elliot trying to deal with (as well as hide) what he's done, so I think (hope) that they will be interesting to write (and hopefully for you guys to read too.)