Title: Harry Potter and the whiskey bottle of fire.
Summery: I wrote what the fourth movie should be like. Beware of character switches. No flames please.
Disclaimer: I never owned it, just like I never owned my soul.
Chapter one: GOD DAMN RIDDLES!
*50 years ago*
Setting: in a bar.
Maid: Ding dong, the witch is dead, which old witch the wicked... I mean, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggghhh, the Riddles are dead.
Bar tender: They've been dead for five days now. Really, I though you were a brunette.
Maid: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrggghhh death! *runs out of bar*
Cook: That asshole, Frank Bicycle.
Others: Bryce you stupid **&#$%&^%*&(%$^#^%&%^*%&%^$%&^$*%&^*&^(*&#$%#@%%$&^*@@%#%&^*&(_**#%&^*(&^!!!
Cook: As I was saying. Crap, I thought he was a bicycle.
Others: You my good sir, you are an idiot!
Cook: As I was saying, he was an asshole and he didn't like us. He called us sadistic!
Others: Lets bash him.
Dot: I'm not sure what he means by us being sadistic *punches person on her left while she talks*.
*police station*
Officer Sadist: Tell me where you hid the treasure matey?
Frank: I don't know about your stupid treasure!
Officer Sadist: *punches Frank* I'm sure you don't!
Frank: You're insane!
Officer Sadist: Am I? MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well, actually I am. You are free to go.
Frank: about time!
Officer Sadist: But you must bring me back the head of the King of Rohan!
Frank: Go $*#^ yourself!
*Shed*
Frank: Pretty light in house, I go see what make light.
*house*
Wormtail is lighting his farts on fire and they are both larfing.
Frank: Who the #*#^ are you, matey?
Voldemort: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
Frank: well hello, MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
Voldemort: Are you mocking me?
Frank: The real question is, are you mocking me?
All three: hmm *sit on the floor and think about it for two days*
Voldemort: I've got it!
Frank: what?
Voldemort: you were mocking me! DIE! *raises wand, but Frank has a heart attack*
Wormtail: Now what do we do?
Both: hmmmm *sit on the floor and think about it for three days*
Voldemort: I've got it!
Wormtail: what?
Voldemort: Lets kill Harry Potter!
Wormtail: well, that's always fun!
*200 miles away*
Harry: *wakes up*, ow my head!