I couldn't live like this any longer. I just couldn't. It felt like someone had taken a knife and kept stabbing me day and night, no breaks. And I was running out of reasons to live. It wasn't worth it, I knew I wouldn't be missed so badly so what was the problem. They all knew I was worth nothing now, just the failure, the family failure. No job. No money. Anoxietic. Alcoholic. No I would do them a favour if I went ahead and died. Why couldn't I have died bravely in battle? Why? Now I'm the family disgrace the one everyone tries to hide. I need to die. Now. Why not me? Why my brother? He had a future, my future was failure. He said he loved me, so why hasn't he come back? Such a fool, I let myself love. And all I got was this hurt.
I walk out into muggle London. I buy a gun a crazy sad way to die. I laugh maybe he will see what he has done to me! Maybe he will see. But they wouldn't miss me, they will hate be for making a mess on there carpet. I buy some more amber ale, so I don't feel anything, I don't have to hurt. Because death there will be no pain only nothing! NOTHING…….just like me. Nothing. I go into Mom's house. He is there with my brothers laughing with them, joking with them. He doesn't care anymore, he never did. I run to my room.
My head is rightfully dizzy. The pain is only a dull throb now but I still feel it. I need to end this, I need to stop! I'm crying now so hard, I hold the gun in my shaking hand. I want to die. I place it right over my heart so the pain stops the fastest. Goodbye cruel world. I won't miss you. You won't miss me.
I pull the trigger.
It's so loud, there bound to hear it.
I fall to my knees, then
onto my back.
All I feel is the numb.
I here them coming but they don't care, I don't care.
I'm dead.
The blood pools around me… to late for help I'm gone.
I close my eyes.
The pain hurts but it's physical, brief, and the real pain is gone,
I think.
They're yelling but I don't care anymore,
I'm to gone.
Drifting…..
Drifting…..
Into nothing.
I wrote this after a nightmare I had about this girl with fire red hair, dieing. When I had awoken I instantly thought of Ginny. I know that she doesn't seem like the type but that's why I thought of Ginny. It's always the people who seem so strong on the outside but are cracking on the inside. So this is just a little tragedy. I considered having someone come and save her. But I just kept it with this. If you think I should do this I'll write an alternate version of it and make it into a story, but for now this is the story! REVIEW!
