Hello, I know it's been a while but I'm trying to get back to normal and life has been hectic here. This story is a prompt from Mozart's Fantasy. They have been very, very, very patient with me about this story and I just want to say a big thank you for that. Enjoy and I hope you like it. I'll also be posting updates to my other stories at the weekend.

Next chapter will be posted by next Tuesday

Enjoy and please review

Reid gripped his bag tighter as every noise around him seem to be amplified and burrowing painfully into his skull. He could feel the eyes of everyone looking at him. A young woman let out a giggle not far from him. He frowned as her gaze briefly fell upon him.

'Is she laughing at me?' he thought before gripping his bag even tighter. 'Why is she laughing at me?'

He winced sharply as the train wheels let out a screech as the train slowed and came to a stop. He barged through the crowd, feeling himself ease as he cleared the train and breathed in the cold winter air.

"Freak," a voice giggled behind him.

He swivelled to confront the person but found no-one behind him. He turned back around and made his way down the stairs.

"I'm fine," he muttered to himself. "I'm fine."

Garcia laughed as Morgan mimicked the behaviour of his dog, Clooney, as he re-enacted a funny moment from the night before. Her gaze moved away from him and to the doors as a pale and dishevelled Reid walked through them. Morgan noticed her attention had diverted away from him and followed her gaze. He watched Reid put down his satchel and rush to the coffee pot.

Morgan checked his watch and furrowed his brow. "Do you think he's okay? He's late. He's never late."

Garcia's eyes filled with worry. "This isn't like him. He's never late and he always has pride in his appearance. Look at him. His hair is messed up and his clothes are wrinkled. I'm afraid to talk to him about how he is. He's such a private person and if we try to talk to him, he looks at it as being interrogated and cornered. I don't want him to feel that way about his family."

Morgan noticed a slight tremor in Reid's hand as he walked back to his desk with a cup of coffee. He brought his hand up and cradled Garcia's hand. "I'll talk to him."

Garcia squeezed his hand and gave him a loving smile. "Thank you. Let him have a little space first. Let him finish his coffee.

Two hours later

Reid slid down against the bathroom cubicle he had sought refuge in till he hit the floor. Bringing his knees to his chest, he bit his lip and slammed his hands over his ears. He could still hear them all. Through the morning, the other agents had whispered behind his back and mocked him. He knew they were doing it behind his back. The words repeated in his head over and over.

'Freak. Weak. Not worthy. Undeserving little shit. Drug addict.'

"SHUT UP!" Reid screamed as the voices became too much. He began pounding his hand into his forehead repeatedly as he lost control.

"Reid?"

A voice broke through the storm like a ray of sunshine breatking through a deep grey cloud. "Morgan?"

The door to the cubicle rattled causing Reid to startle. "Reid, open the door."

Reid reached up and twisted the lock to the right. Morgan came into the stall and knelt in front of him. "Kid, what's wrong?"

Rubbing his hands roughly over his cheeks as tears rolled down them, Reid took a deep breath and let his lip quiver. "They're all talking about me. I can hear them all whispering about me. They think I'm a freak and probably did dirty things to get where I am."

Morgan put his hands on Reid's shoulders. "Who said these things? I'll kick their ass."

"Everyone!" Reid hiccuped as he struggled to stop crying. "They're all doing it behind my back. I know they are."

Morgan couldn't help but briefly let his eyes wander to Reid's covered arms. This wasn't like him.

"Reid, no-one is talking behind your back. You are one of the most highly respected agents in this unit and within the FBI. This isn't like you. I'm going to ask you something and I don't want you to get angry because I'm just trying to help. Have you been using again?"

Reid stared at Morgan with rage brimming in his eyes.

"How could you even think that?!" he growled before trying to rise up, only to be pushed back down by Morgan's hands on his shoulders.

"Spencer Walter Reid," Morgan spoke in a commanding voice. The use of his full name caused Reid to still. "Kid, something is going on with you. I'm not the only one to notice. Garcia is worried about you too. Your clothes are dirty and wrinkled, your hair too and you have a tremor in your hands. You look exhausted too. I'm not accusing you of using. I'm just trying to find out what's wrong and to do that I have to eliminate all possibilites. Can I see your arms, please?"

Reid closed his eyes and let out a small nod. He felt the fabric move up his arms as Morgan checked them for signs of track marks. Relief filled Morgan's heart as he found no sign of track marks. Bringing the sleeves back down to cover Reid bony wrists, he put his hand on Reid's shaking one and watched his friend open his eyes.

"See, we can eliminate that," Morgan said as he gave a comforting smile.

"I would never relapse," Reid spoke shakily. "I worked too damn hard to get clean and I never want to go through that again. I know what you're going to suggest next and it isn't that."

"Kid, something is wrong and you're displaying symptoms that you've always asked the team to look out for."

"I'm not schizophrenic," Reid snapped. "I'm not!"

"We can make an appointment with a doctor and get some tests done."

"Morgan, I would know if I was becom...becoming like my mother. I was fine a few weeks ago. Look, maybe someone is messing with with me. I could be getting drugged."

Reid didn't miss the small flash of doubt that crossed Morgan's face.

"Reid, how could you be getting drugged without knowing it?"

"Rossi was drugged by the Replicator using the mail. I'm not crazy, Morgan. Please just believe me. We can go to the hospital and get a blood test. I know we'll find something."

Morgan watched as Reid's face crumpled and he began to cry heavily. "Please, Morgan, just believe me."

"Okay, okay," he soothed as he brought his arms around Reid and hugged him. He felt his friend lean against him and clutch his shirt. "We'll go to the hospital right away, kid. It's okay."

Hospital

Reid couldn't help the shiver that ran up his spine as the nurse slid the needle into his arm and began to draw blood. Everytime a needle touched his skin, he remembered the two horrific days he had spent being tortured and and drugged by Hankel. The nurse quickly filled a few vials, pulled out the needle and pressed a small cotton bud over the needle mark.

"Dr Renaton has also ordered you to be given some fluids as you're dehydrated and he feels it would be best," the nurse explained as she pulled off some gloves.

Reid nodded and gave her a thankful smile as she left. Morgan came over from the corner where he had observed the nurse and Reid. "The blood tests shouldn't take long."

"Something will show up," Reid spoke but Morgan didn't miss the slivers of uncertainty and fear at the words. "I'm okay. I haven't had a psychotic break."

"Reid, we'll have to talk to the doctor if nothing shows up on the blood test."

"Something will," Reid angrily enforced. "What did you tell the rest of the team?"

"I told Hotch the main part of our trip to the hospital and Garcia knows we're here. He'll let the others know once we get the results back."

Reid didn't have a chance to respond as the door opened and the nurse came back with his IV fluids.

An hour and a half later

Morgan watched the gentle rise and fall of Reid's chest as the young man slept peacefully after struggling to stay awake. He looked at his watch and wondered how much longer they would have to wait. He didn't want like to think about the fact that Reid was in a no win situation. If the blood tests came back positive, there was an unsub after Reid and they had no leads. On the other hand, if the tests came back negative, a much darker path was now presented to Reid. An unsub you can catch, but with mental illness like schizophrenia, you couldn't stop it. He had noticed Reid's jumpiness and messy clothes but it hadn't been so bad a few weeks ago. He had just assumed that the job was catching up to Reid. He'd even though of suggesting the kid take some vacation time.

His thoughts halted as the doctor walked into the room. Morgan reached out and gently shook Reid's shoulder, keeping his promise to wake him the moment there was news.

"Do you have the results?" Reid asked as he rubbed his eyes and pulled himself into a sitting postion.

"Yes, sorry for the delay. The lab is a little backed up. Apart from your iron levels being low, all your tests came back negative for anything that could be causing your symptoms. We checked them twice and were very thourough at your request," Dr Renton answered before stepping closer to the bed. Silence held the room as Reid and Morgan absorbed the news. "Dr Reid, have you been under a lot of stress lately?"

"No, my work has been fairly easy considering what we've dealt with in the past. The tests must be wrong."

"We checked them and I can assure you they're not wrong. Have you considered a psychosomatic cause?"

"I'm fine, it's not that," Reid shook his head.

"I take it you're talking about your mother's condition. I read about it from our notes."

"I am not having a psychotic break," Reid huffed before reaching one hand to the IV and pulling it out.

"Dr Reid, stop!" Dr Renton insisted as he walked to the side of the bed.

"Kid, listen to the doctor," Morgan said as he reached out to help.

"I'm going home," Reid said as he pushed Morgan's hands away and stood up. He grabbed his satchel and slung it over his shoulder.

"Dr Reid, it isn't a wise decision to leave, we can help you."

Morgan swiftly stepped back in surprise as Reid squared up to the doctor. "Your help is to lock me away and I vowed that I would never let that happen. This is all bullshit! Someone is messing with my life and I'll prove it. I've seen things that would turn your stomach and give you nightmares. I've been through horrors you'll never comprehend. I didn't break then and I haven't now."

Reid stormed out of the room leaving both Morgan and the doctor stunned.

"I'm sorry," Morgan mumbled to the doctor as he shook of the shock of hearing Reid's powerful and honest words.

Reid reached a rail outside and leaned against it. The cold sensation from the rail did little to quell the hot anger pulsing through his body. They were wrong about him. He wasn't becoming like his mother. He had spent his childhood watching his mother's descent into the darkness of paranoid schizophrenia. He recognised that descent and he was not going down that path.

"Reid!" Morgan called behind him before he heard the sound of Morgan's heavy shoes skidding to a halt next to him. "Reid, your hand is bleeding."

Reid brought his hand up but ignored the red droplets falling from his pale fingertips and onto the concrete. "It doesn't matter, Morgan."

"Reid, what you said back there-," Morgan began before Reid turned and interrupted him.

"Do you believe him or me?" he demanded. "I need to know."

Morgan looked at Reid and couldn't bring himself to say the words his friend needed to hear. The silence was enough of an answer for Reid.

"I thought you were on my side," Reid yelled causing a few people to turn their heads and stare.

"Reid, calm down. I am on your side. I'm trying to be logical about this just like you would be if you were standing in my shoes. Any drugs that could be causing your symptoms would have to be given to you more than once and would show up on the blood tests. I'm not saying that you're having a psychotic break but something could be going on. We need to go back to the doctor and he can run some more tests. I'm worried about you and I don't want anything to happen to you."

Reid shook his head and stepped back. "No, I'm not going back in there so you can lock me away."

"No-one is talking about locking you away," Morgan tried to calm as he held his hands up.

"Leave me alone. I'm going home and I'll find a way to prove I'm right," Reid angrily shouted. "I thought you would be on my side but you just think I'm losing it. I can't believe you would side with the doctor."

Morgan grabbed Reid's wrist as he tried to run off. "Reid, please just stay. At least come back to the BAU."

Ripping his wrist from Morgan grip, he stabbed his finger at him and took a deep breath. "I'm going home. You just want the others to back you up and make you feel better. I don't need you or other others if you're all going to call me crazy. Don't visit me and if any of you come near me, I'll call the cops."

Before the echo of the last word fell from the air, Reid bolted away from Morgan, disappearing around the corner and leave Morgan lost for words.

Reid fumbled for his keys as he reached his apartment. His hand had stopped bleeding but the dried blood stained the back of his hand and between his fingers. His chin wobbled as he struggled to keep his composure as he finally unlocked the door and rushed in.

"Argh!" Reid grunted as he caught his foot on a fallen coat and slammed into the floor. His hip erupted in pain causing him to finally let out the emotions building inside of him. He brought himself into a sitting position and pressed his hand against his forehead and let himself cry. He began to be overwhelmed by the sense of abandonment from Morgan, the one person he knew would be there for him but instead had looked at him with pity and disbelief when he had needed him most.

All his life, he had lived with the fear of becoming like his mother, he'd been so watchful of his mind and for the signs of the illness. The time most likely for him to suffer a break had passed and he had survived so many traumas. His mind was the strongest part of him and he knew every part of it. Someone was messing with him, he'd prove it and make them pay.

Slowly, he pulled himself up from the floor and to his feet. He swayed as the world rushed in front of his eyes.

"Sleep first," he whispered to himself as he made sure the door was locked and slipped off his shoes. "The mind needs to sleep...and now I'm talking to myself."

He walked to his bedroom, fell onto his bed, into the comforting embrace of his pillow and away from the world that was trying to rid itself of him.

Garcia looked up as her door opened. She frowned as Morgan walked in with subtle pain etching every feature of his face. "Morgan, what's wrong? Where's Reid?"

"I messed up, baby girl," Morgan shook his head before slouching into the chair next to him. "We got the blood tests back from the doctor. No-one else knows I took him there but Hotch and you. They came back clear of any drugs. Reid freaked out when the doctor started talking about a psychosomatic cause and stormed out. I caught up with him and tried to calm him down. He asked if I believed him and I didn't know what to say. He got so angry and ran off. He said he was going home."

"Do you believe him?" she asked gently.

Morgan sighed and rubbed his hand over his head. "I want so hard to believe him but everything is against him. There were no drugs in his system, he is displaying signs of paranoia, depression and self neglect. I've never seen him like this."

"We need to go and see him," Garcia said as she reached out and cradled his hand. "No matter what's happening to him, we need to be there and support him. We're a famiily. We take care of each other. We always have."

"Everyone needs to know," Morgan smiled sadly before giving her hand a squeeze. "We have to go as a family. I don't want him to think that he's alone through this. If he is suffering a break, I want him to know that we'll always be there for him no matter what. We'll go this evening. He might have calmed down by then."

"I'll gather the others in the roundtable room. Oh, Derek, if he's becoming like Diana, it's going to hit him so hard. Right now, he refuses to accept that it might be happening and that means he's going to push us away harder than ever before. We need to be strong together and make sure he doesn't try to deal with this alone."

Evening

Reid struggled to open his eyes as he let out a small moan. His limbs felt heavy and something painful seemed to try to pierce the fog weighing down his mind. His eyes fluttered for a moment before he finally managed to open them. The ceiling above weaved in and out of focus. Looking down sluggishly, he frowned and was confused as he looked at his arm. Through his blurred vision, it looked like his arm was covered in red. Closing his eyes he fought down a rush of dizziness and opened his eyes to find his vision had cleared.

He began to shake as he finally saw his arm clearly.

Blood, both fresh and dry, covered his arm as well as multiple deep cuts. Something was in his other hand. He brought up his other arm, letting out a painful gasp as he did so, to find it in the same condition as the other and a knife cradled in his hand.

"No, no, no," he shook his head as the knife slipped from his hand and fell to the bed with a thud. Slowly rotating his arms, he gritted his teeth at the pain and slowly began to realise the true horror around him. His shirt was covered with blood along with his sheets and trousers. "I didn't do this."

Tears trailed down his cheeks as he brought himself up from the bed. The world began to spin in front of him. He grunted as he veered into a table. Nausea and fatigue ran rampant through his body. He stumbled into his living room to see books strewn across the floor, bloody handprints smearing his furniture, walls, books and deep scrathes carved along various items.

He froze as a knock came at his door. "Reid, it's Morgan. I've got the team with me. I don't know what's going on but your family is here to help you. Please, open the door."

Reid's entire body shook as he realised what the team would think if they came in and found him like this.

"Go away," he called in a scrathy broken voice. "Just go!"

"Can't do that, Reid," Rossi called. "If you don't open the door, we will."

"NO!" Reid screamed as he tried to walk only to stumble and knock over a table.

"Reid!" Multiple voices called out.

He whimpered and curled into a foetal position as the pain in his arms got worse. He flinched violently as he heard his front door smash open.

"Oh my god," he heard Garcia gasp near the door before footsteps rushed over to him.

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