Title: Only In My
Dreams
Author: Luna
Pairing: Amakura Mio and Amakura
Mayu
Fandom: Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly
Ending: Crimson
Sacrifice
Theme: 6 (The space between reality and
dreams)
Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own Fatal Frame nor will I
ever. Though, if the rights to it come up on ebay, make sure I know.
I cry a lot at night. There were times when I would wake up drenched in a cold sweat and suddenly break down with full understanding the reason for my tears. At least three times a week I would painfully sob my entire heart out to nothing but the darkness around me. Tonight, unfortunately, was one of those nights.
In the past I know she would have been there to comfort me. She would have wrapped her arms around me and reassured me that it was all right and that she would never leave me. She would wake up from her bed next to mine and plead me to tell her why I was in such a state of distress. But she wouldn't tonight
She was gone now.
It's strange now that I look back on everything. Growing up, I was the one always telling her everything would be fine. I was the one who always cheered her up and encouraged her from a close distance, pushing her on to try her hardest at everything she did. I was the one who was always there for her no matter what I had to sacrifice for her. So, if I was the one who had always made sure to be there for her, why could she not find a way to be here for me now?
Peeling the blankets off my sweat drenched pajama pants, which ironically held the pattern of butterflies sewn in to the fabric, I padded quietly across the floor from my bed to stand in front of the only window my room had. Light from the moon filtered through the glass and bathed my body with its bright rays, making me remember how pale her skin had been less than a month ago.
Had it really been a month? For some reason that didn't seem right. It had been an entire lifetime ago; a lifetime which I could never return to. Maybe I should feel grateful that at least one of us escaped from the hellish nightmare alive, and maybe I should feel grateful to have a roof over my head thanks to my gracious uncle Kei. In the beginning I had tried to show him have thankful I was by doing all I could, but within the past week he had made sure I focus only on recovering.
That would never happen. I would never recover. How could no one see that? Unless they find a way to raise the dead and return to me what slipped away underneath my very own hands, I will never be all right again. Is that truly so hard to see? I killed my sister. I killed my twin – how could anyone expect me to move on with my life when I was unable to even stop crying at night from the nightmares that constantly forced me to relive that exact moment of her death?
Mayu. Had you wanted this? If you had known what your death would do to me, would you have still made that whispered command to kill you? Why did you want that? Did you want to leave me forever? Did you want to make me suffer in endless agony? Would you only be happy when I finally caved in completely and locked myself away from the people who tried daily to make me rediscover how much I am loved?
No. You would never wish this on me. I know that, I truly know that. And I know why you did, why I did, what we did. Perhaps it truly was our destiny. Did that mean I had to accept it? Of course not. If anyone had to die, it should have been me.
For a brief moment, I felt an unmistakable warmth caress against the cold skin of my cheek to brush away the tears that would never fully stop flowing. That same split second in time earned another light flutter of touch across the lasses of my eyes.
Butterfly kisses. Our secret...you remembered.
Am I dreaming or am I awake? Anymore, I don't think there is a difference between them. No matter what plane my consciousness drifts on, the warmth of your skin against mine is something I will never forget.
Mayu, you're gone. You'll never be here with me again while I'm awake. But, if even for a moment I am able to see you, if that glimmer of hope exists only in my dreams, I will still hold on to it forever.
Author's Note: The 'butterfly kisses' theme will show up again in a future scenario. Also, considering this is thirty kisses for Mio and Mayu, there will obviously be shoujo-ai and incest involved. This one didn't exactly show that but there will be ones that are a lot more blunt. And please do not flame me if the personalities of the characters are off. I do try my hardest. So...could you review if you like this ? No point in continuing if no one does