This one gave Ember a hard time, but she's rather satisfied with the results now. So here we are, yet another Ed/Roy fic, this time based off of the Nickelback song "Savin' Me". It just came to her one day. The song totally fits their relationship, if you look at it in the right way.
This had actually originally been a parental!RoyEd fic, but it kind of morphed into romance along the way. So she had to change a couple things around. But the essence of the fic is the same. Plus it's hard to feel anything but parental towards a small child. No, Roy is not a pedophile. Please. That's just wrong.
In any case, as we've alluded to, this is an Ed/Roy fic. No likey, no read-y. Just hit the back button right now.
And now, without further ado…
Worth Saving
Edward Elric was imprisoned.
He wasn't in an actual prison. There were no walls surrounding him, no guards that would keep him from escaping. Those weren't necessary.
He was trapped in the prison of his own failure—his broken pride, his physical handicaps due to the grave error he made, his depression, his pain.
Sure, it wasn't iron bars or men armed with weapons, but it was more than enough to trap the young alchemist. And it was taking its toll on him.
There was no way out. It was everywhere, waiting for him the moment he woke up each morning. Waiting to pounce and suffocate him at his weakest moments. Anyone who looked into his eyes would see a dead expression that had never haunted those eyes before he tried to do the unthinkable. Before he tried to bring the dead to life.
When he did, he lost an arm, a leg, a brother, and his innocence. All of those took heavy tolls, but none more than his brother.
Alphonse was still alive, but only in the loosest sense. He had lost his body and, in a last-ditch attempt to save his brother, Edward had placed his soul in a suit of armor. And he felt guilty about it every day.
It almost killed him every time he looked at his brother, who couldn't sleep, eat, or feel, and probably wouldn't be able to ever again. It was his fault, all of it. And it was something he couldn't fix.
He had made a mistake, no doubt about it. In a single night he had destroyed both of their lives for nothing. There was nothing for them. Not any longer.
At least, there hadn't been. But then a man by the name of Mustang came by their Risembool house and saw the evidence of their sin. Enraged, he sought out the brothers and demanded to know what they had created.
The man understood the pain in Edward's eyes instantly. Not only that, but he offered him a way out.
The man was a State Alchemist, and a powerful one. He explained that State Alchemists have access to research and materials that ordinary alchemists could never obtain. They could maybe find a way to restore what they had lost.
But they would have to sell themselves to the military, following orders and maybe even killing people to do it.
That didn't matter to Edward. He had been offered an escape, a way to fix his mistakes, to wipe the slate clean of his sin. He would take it, no matter the cost.
He would save his brother and himself. And it was all because of that Mustang person.
"I can't do it!" Edward declared.
He had been given orders to go over the worst possible research: the research that turned humans and animals into horrifying half-creatures with painful half-lives.
The walls in the small room were filled with transmutation circles; arrays that spoke of taboos and horror and pain and suffering were everywhere. All four walls were filled with horrifying information. All four walls screamed in terror. As did Edward's mind. He couldn't bear to be in that horrible room for one more second.
But that wasn't all that was inside the room. Of course it wasn't. Life had never been kind to Edward.
In cages scattered across the room were the results of the transmutation circles scrawled across the walls. Poor pathetic half-humans and crosses between the most unrelated of animals. It hurt too much to look at them.
They were the result of human transmutation. They were like his brother. Every second he spent in the room with those creatures reminded him of his horrible sin against the laws of nature. He just couldn't take it.
And so he ran out of the room. Why the hell had Mustang ordered him to go through the research anyway?! He was only twelve, for crying out loud! No twelve-year-old should have to see something like that!
Then again, no twelve-year-old should have even thought of bringing the dead back to life. Even if the dead in question was his own mother. He should have left well enough alone! Instead, he had messed with the unforgivable and only lost more because of it.
It really was lucky he was alone at that particular moment. It wouldn't do for the public to see their already-great Fullmetal Alchemist break down. That would only get him pity that he didn't want or need, he thought as he fell to the floor of the hallway with tears in his eyes.
He dimly noticed footsteps in the hallway. Wait. Footsteps. That was bad. Someone was coming.
If he had been in his right mind, he might have compared his actions to those of a wounded animal as he hurriedly moved towards a corner nearby, pressing his frame against the walls like he might disappear into them if he tried hard enough, hugging his knees to his chest. But he wasn't thinking straight. He was only thinking of sparing himself more pain than absolutely necessary and the pity he despised seeing in others' eyes.
The footsteps, though, were relentless as they grew closer and louder. Soon enough, a pair of boots found themselves in Ed's line of sight.
"Fullmetal? What's wrong?" a voice asked dimly above him. He didn't respond. The voice had barely registered in his mind. He didn't even know who it belonged to, much less what it had said.
Maybe the voice said more. Maybe it didn't. Edward couldn't tell. All he saw were transmutation circles like those in the room, like the one that he had used to try to bring his mother back. All he heard were screams and a rasping voice struggling to breathe.
And then there was a gloved hand under his chin, forcing him to look into dark eyes. Edward dimly heard more speaking, and those dark eyes grew concerned at his unresponsive state.
Bit by agonizing bit those dark eyes replaced the circles dancing across his vision. Soon all that was left was a harsh noise that sounded like something was having trouble breathing. A harsh noise that he eventually realized he was making. In front of his commanding officer, no less.
Reddening quickly, Edward tried to back away from Mustang, to do anything to hide his emotional turmoil.
Mustang wasn't buying it. "It was the chimeras, wasn't it?" he asked, more softly than Edward had previously believed the man was capable of.
Tears in his eyes yet again, the boy could do nothing but nod as he broke down for the second time that day in front of his superior.
Really, it wasn't the worst thing in the world that Mustang was witnessing this. What was truly awful was that he seemed to understand. At least there was no pity in those dark eyes. He would have hit the man if there was, commanding officer or no.
He had expected the man to yell at him, maybe slap some sense into him. So when he did something else entirely, Edward was shocked.
He was certain that he had never expected Roy Mustang to hold him as he cried.
In any other situation Edward would have thrown him off with a great deal of cursing and flying automail. But surely it was okay, just this once, to have a little comfort in his life. So instead he buried his head in Mustang's shoulder as the man absently rubbed his back.
When he finally contained himself, he looked up at his superior suspiciously. Why had he gone and done that? Was it nice to have a little more blackmail to keep his precious Fullmetal Alchemist in line?
Mustang must have seen his fear and suspicion in his face, because he chuckled all of a sudden. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about the big bad Fullmetal Alchemist sobbing like the child he is."
Their odd relationship turned to normal instantly as Edward chased him down the hall with curses and "Who are you calling short?!"s flying every which way.
Well, maybe it hadn't returned quite to normal. When he finally worked up the nerve to return to that horrible room he found that the research had already been cataloged. Looking down the hall he saw the back of a dark-haired man in a military uniform as he turned a corner.
At age sixteen Edward began to lose hope.
For four long years he had chained himself to a military he didn't believe in to help him on a wild goose chase for something that might not even exist—a way to restore all he and his brother had lost.
Creating a Philosopher's Stone just wasn't an option anymore.
No, he couldn't do it. It just wouldn't be right.
He refused to sacrifice that many people for his brother and himself, and his brother refused to let him.
Beyond that, he had been betrayed by the one constant (apart from his brother) in his life.
He had known. Mustang had to have known! There were no two ways about it. He knew Dr. Marcoh, the one who had done the research. The stones he created had been used in the Ishbal Rebellion—the same rebellion that Mustang was proclaimed a hero of.
He had known, and he had allowed Edward to continue his research. How could he?! Did he think that they hadn't gone through enough yet?!
The Stone. It caused far too much pain to others to be a viable option. Mustang, the one to suggest the way to gain what they had lost, had known about it.
These thoughts went in circles around his mind as he made his way up to the roof of East City headquarters.
He didn't really know why he was going there. It was just where his feet took him as he tried to accept the unacceptable.
Looking down at the buildings around him, he lost himself to his thoughts again, not hearing when someone joined him on the roof.
All of a sudden he was yanked backwards.
"I don't know what you're thinking, but let me assure you that standing that close to the edge isn't healthy, Fullmetal," a wry voice said behind him.
Edward practically growled. He knew who that voice belonged to, and it was the last person he'd wanted to talk to.
The voice continued. "Or did you not realize you were eighteen stories up? Maybe being up here makes you feel tall for once."
That sarcastic Colonel! Why did he of all people have to be the one to find him when he didn't want to be found?! Edward whipped around, snarling.
Clearly everything he had been feeling showed in his eyes, as Mustang involuntarily took a step back. "What is it, Fullmetal?"
Any final restraints on his temper and his emotions exploded. "You knew! You had to!"
"Knew about what?" The man looked honestly confused.
"About the Stone! About how it's made! And you sent me and Al after it anyway! I mean, I can take it, it's my sin, my punishment. But why screw around with Al like that?!" he shouted, struggling to break free of the Colonel's grip.
In total contrast to his intentions, the grip he was fighting against tightened. The Colonel opened his mouth to say something.
Edward was having none of it. "Don't even start with me! We both know you knew! Don't even try to deny it, Colonel!" he spat out, before continuing to rant brokenly.
Then the Colonel did something Ed would never have expected. He actually put a gloved hand over Edward's mouth, effectively silencing him. "Now will you listen to me?" he asked.
His only answer was a golden-eyed glare.
"Good," he continued. "Now, we both know you're too smart for evasions like you were expecting, so we're just going to skip past those and move on. Yes, I did know about the Stone prototypes. Yes, I did know how they were created. We both know that. But you've forgotten something. Those aren't actual Stones!" he whispered, his tone fast and urgent to keep Edward's attention. "We don't know if that's how actual Stones are made, and you know something? You're a prodigy. Ever wondered if I let you research the Stone because I thought you might find the real way, a way that doesn't involve so much sacrifice?!"
Edward was stunned.
The Colonel continued. "Obviously I couldn't just tell you, or you might have missed the same things we did. If I allowed you to explore the research on your own, there was a possibility that you would find something we'd overlooked, a way that doesn't involve so much bloodshed. Can such sin really lead to the treasure of treasures, anyway? There has to be another way, and I thought that maybe you and your brother could find that."
He had never looked at it from that angle before. Shocked into silence and obedience, he limply allowed Mustang to steer him off of the roof, all thoughts that had led him there forgotten.
He hadn't known what he was about to do. For a moment he had actually thought he might throw himself off the roof. But once again Mustang had saved him, just like he had so many times before, and would in all likelihood continue to do until the need for this strange relationship was over.
Roy had done so much for him over the years, but it took until Edward was about eighteen to really get how integral a part of his life Roy had become.
The quest was done, the adventure was over. So what would happen to its major players?
Alphonse, his body restored, had returned to Risembool for some time to rest and get used to his body. Edward suspected that Winry also had something to do with that, but he never mentioned it to his brother.
Speaking of Winry, she was one of the most respected automail engineers in Amestris. He guessed it didn't hurt her reputation as an engineer that she had created the automail used by the Fullmetal Alchemist. And he would continue to frequent her automail shop. Not only had the Stone been used up to restore Al's body, but the automail had become part of who he was. He wasn't sure he would be able to return to having real limbs after becoming so accustomed to automail—it could bring him harm someday if he forgot one of his arms was no longer metal.
Roy had achieved all he had hoped for and was now Fuhrer. He had already made significant improvements to Amestrian government and would continue to do so. Edward couldn't be more proud.
And what would become of Edward?
He wasn't quite sure. He was a displaced person used to an active lifestyle with nothing left to do. Oh, and he had fallen in love with the least likely of people.
Of course it had to be Roy. The man had changed him permanently and couldn't resist this one last trick before fading into his proper place in the past.
Edward would tell Roy how he felt. He deserved it. And then he guessed he would join his brother back in Risembool and try to live a quiet life for a while. There was no way he would be able to keep working under Roy's command after such a declaration.
He had come to those conclusions rather quickly, but it took him a while to finally talk to Roy like they had before.
It was a calm but rainy spring day, the conditions rather like the night Roy had seen Edward for the first time, an irony that was not lost on Edward. The man had entered his life on a rainy evening, and would leave it on a day like it.
They had been walking along quietly for some time when Edward suddenly stopped. It was time. He couldn't take this anymore.
"Edward?" Roy asked, turning and looking quizzically at him.
Before he lost his sudden courage, Edward walked the few steps between them and embraced Roy.
Roy stood still for a moment, shocked, and then returned the embrace, much to Edward's delight. "Any reason in particular for this?" he asked.
Edward tightened his hold on Roy and said, "There's something you need to know."
"What?"
Well, it was now or never, and Edward wasn't a 'never' person. "Before I go wherever I'll end up after all of this, I want you to know that I love you." Fearful of Roy's reaction, he unconsciously tightened his grip further and stood there nervously waiting for a response.
He certainly wasn't expecting Roy to lean down (of course the man was still taller, curses) and kiss him.
After a few moments of sheer bliss, they broke apart ever so slightly and Edward leaned his head against Roy's chest. "Thank you," he said simply.
"For what?" Roy sounded confused.
Edward smiled, not that Roy could see it. "For being there when I needed it most. You saw several times over a broken child or teenager, looked at it, and for some reason saw something worth saving there." And they walked away together, hand in hand, the savior and the one he deemed worth saving.
Thank you all for reading this! This is one of Ember's personal favorites, even if she had the hardest time EVER writing the more depressing scenes, and she'd very much like to know how her little baby is accepted (or not) in the world! So please please please please PLEASE review? Please?