I wrote this a long time ago and decided to publish it. It's not finished and never will be.

I don't own The Outsiders or any of the characters.

Ponyboy and Johnny Cade sat together on a park bench near the beaten up tennis courts, tossing a bouncy ball they had gotten at one of the vending games at the gas station. They both wanted to say something to each other, but they had no idea where to start.

Johnny Cade took in a breath and straightened his shoulders, as if he was about to speak, which made Ponyboy clasp his hand on the oncoming bouncy ball and look over at him. But then Johnny seemed to have forgotten what he was going to say, or decided not to say it, because he slouched back down again on his side of the bench and held out his hand to receive the ball from Ponyboy.

Ponyboy refused to give the ball back to Johnny Cade, however, and decided that he should be the one to start the conversation. "So…," he started. He focused his eyes more on Johnny, expecting him to retaliate.

Johnny sat there for a few seconds, as if playing over scenarios in his mind; what would Ponyboy say if he said this, or what would Ponyboy say if he said that? But he just drummed his fingers on the side of the bench and leaned forward. "So…?"

Ponyboy, disappointedly, sank back onto the bench and fiddled with the ball in his two hands. He took a long, deep sigh and said, "We're gonna have to talk about this sometime." He slammed the bouncy ball hard on the ground. Apparently there was a piece of loose gravel or a lone rock exactly where he'd slammed it, because it bounced off into the other side of the court and stopped at the wall. Ponyboy and Johnny Cade just watched it roll away, both too lazy to chase after it and not wanting to break the conversation they had worked so hard to start. Johnny, however, was thankful for the diversion that bought him some time to think about how to respond to Ponyboy.

But before Johnny Cade could say anything, Ponyboy spoke up. "All I want to know is what exactly you meant."

Johnny Cade knew exactly what Ponyboy was talking about. Last week, Ponyboy had found Johnny crying in the rain in an alleyway. Johnny refused to tell Ponyboy what was wrong, but Ponyboy put his arm around him to comfort him as a brotherly gesture. Johnny, however, took Pony by the shoulders and turned him to face him. Johnny was kneeling on his knees and Ponyboy was squatting on the balls of his feet, not wanting to get his pants dirty. They just remained like that for the longest time, sitting there looking at each other. But then Johnny moved his hands up from Pony's shoulders to his face, gently stroking his cheeks with his thumbs. Ponyboy, not exactly understanding what was going on, just sat there and interpreted this as Johnny's way of confiding in him. But then Johnny's hand moved slowly to Ponyboy's hair, running his hands through the long, brown, wet strands, and then to the back of his neck, stroking it with his thumb as he was his cheek.

Johnny pulled Pony's face slowly toward his until their lips were centimeters from touching. "I love you," Johnny whispered, and pressed his lips against Ponyboy's. But just as quickly as their mouths were joined, Ponyboy shot up from his squatting position and scrambled away, tripping over himself several times on his way.

Johnny picked at the frays on the pockets of his khaki shorts and twisted a strand between his forefinger and thumb. "I meant what I said." Ponyboy thought that he was going to add to that statement, but after a few moments he figured that Johnny Cade meant to leave it at that. He didn't cease twisting the frayed strands, and Ponyboy was thankful he had that to look at instead of Johnny's face.

"I'm not a queer or anything," Ponyboy said a little too quickly. Stupid, stupid, stupid, he said in his mind.

Johnny Cade's face seemed to snap up immediately to meet Ponyboy's eyes at the word 'queer'. Ponyboy looked at Johnny too, but looked back down at the ground when he saw that his eyes were filled with hurt. "Why do you call it queer?" Johnny asked. He was still looking straight at Ponyboy, he could see it out of the corner of his eye.

Ponyboy squeezed his eyes shut. So Johnny really is gay, he thought. He opened them and saw that Johnny returned to playing with his shorts. Ponyboy knew subconsciously that Johnny Cade was gay, but he felt as if he needed oral confirmation to really be able to accept it. "So are you really…" He was going to say 'gay,' but his voice gave out to a barely-audible whisper when he came to the word.

"Gay, yeah," said Johnny. He was squeezing the end of the bench now, Ponyboy could see that his knuckles were white, and looking off to the other end of the tennis court near where the bouncy ball stopped. "And I'm not about to hide my feelings for you either."

Ponyboy was taken aback by this. "F…feelings?"

"Of course. Why do you think I did what I did?" Johnny Cade drummed his fingers on his thigh. What he really wanted to do was grab Ponyboy's hand and intertwine his fingers with his, but he knew doing that would scare the wits out of Ponyboy.

They heard a voice off in the distance, and they looked over to see Sodapop and Two-Bit Matthews walking down the street towards them. Johnny quickly got up and turned toward Ponyboy. "Please don't tell the guys, Pony. At least not yet." He started jogging to get the bouncy ball on the other side of the court while Ponyboy started walking to meet Soda and Two-Bit.

Ponyboy understood why Johnny wouldn't want him to tell anyone. Once he told someone, the whole world would know. That's just the way it worked. And once the Socs found out, if Johnny ever planned to tell anyone but Pony, he would never hear the end of it. Hearing that Johnny was gay, and a Greaser, nonetheless, would be the perfect reason to beat up on him.