CHALLENGE TIME!
Hello and welcome!
Please, read this quite long Author's Note, my dear Reader, and you can feel free to ignore all the rest of them if you so wish!
So, a lot of my internet friends have been doing the 'draw it again' challenge and I've decided to take on something a bit different (I simply lack the time and patience to re-draw things), so I'm accepting the re-write challenge! I have taken one of my old stories, Fear of Fire, which was written between 2009 and 2013 (I was 15 when I started writing it xD) So, you can imagine just how horrendous it is? Yes? Imagined? Well, it's worse than that (now that I've re-read it).
Hence, I'm rewriting it :D Because, as bad as Fear of Fire is, in terms of writing style and plot development, as well as Mary Sueness and Gary Stuness, it is my precious baby. If you wish to see just how much I've improved in the last six years, you are free to read the old version, which is still online.
Now, what will I be changing? As little as possible. I still remember all my plans for the story, so I will try and keep format and just rewrite the chapters. There will be slight changes in my main OC, as her name was irritating me (Mary Sueness ensues), it has been changed to a Japanese one.
Can you read this story without reading the old version? Totally! It will be a complete re-tell and re-vamp.
Should I skip the chapters if I've read the older version? If you so wish, but I don't suggest it. The story will be much more complicated and better explained this time round. You might miss some good stuff if you skip :P
General story stats:
Name: Can I keep you?
Planned chapters: Around 30 or so.
Chapter length: 4k words min
Update frequency: When my muse strikes
Timeline: Just before Ikki's second fight with the Skull Saders
Pairing: AgitoxOC main, probably OCxYayoi later on, EmilyxKazu (who can ignore this?) and we will see what else :D
Rating: T (for now)
Note: I love reviews. I know that this isn't a very popular manga anymore, so really, if you're reading, leave a word or two :D
Warning: There will be intimate moments later on, which may cause the rating to spike up. I will give the appropriate warnings.
Also, I'm not a professional ice-skater, nor do I know one. My information comes from Google (which knows everything) and a number of movies which I've seen about it. If anyone finds any mistakes, I'll be more than glad to correct them.
Disclaimer: Air Gear belongs to Oh!Great I own the OCs and the plot. This disclaimer will not be repeated again.
Song I was listening to while writing: Placebo - Running Up That Hill
And, I'm finally done! Enjoy!
Trick 1: Ignite
The smell of leather and ice. It was one of her favorite things in the world. Her nose was burning from the cold that rose and her fingers were numb from the icy surface which they were glued to. She could feel the small creases under her fingertips, where the blades had dug in deep. She could tell, from those tiny lines the jumps which had been made, the path each skater had taken. Their road. She could read it.
And she knew, no matter how smooth, how 'right' the lines were, they were filled with tension. With blood. With sweat. With tears. With determination. With happiness. With hope. With life.
If you asked her, which ice she preferred, smooth or used, she truly couldn't tell you. While the smooth, recently cleaned, ice was a true joy to skate on, she also loved the used ice. There, she didn't feel alone, despite the fact that she was the only one out there, in the rink. The spotlight wasn't so harsh. She felt like she had all the choreographies from before her, leading her, taking her to her best form, to her peak.
The petite girl took another deep breath, smiling, her cheek pressed against the cold surface. There was light snow below her head, where she had dug in the blade of her ice-skate before. The large room was dark, silent, the only sound her slowing breaths. Despite having her eyes closed, she could feel the sheer size of the space around her. There was no escaping it. The overwhelming pressure of the ice-rink had always demanded her respect in an ancient, wise sort of way. She was humbled every time she stepped on the white surface.
"Takeuchi-san!" A shout came from the stands, making the petite girl jump a bit. She had been too focused on the ice, she hadn't even heard the door open and the sound ring out. "Takeuchi-san! What are you doing? You'll catch a cold!" The young woman shouted once more from the stands.
The petite girl who had been lying in the middle of the ice-rink pushed herself up, climbing to her feet. She lightly tapped her toe pick on the hard surface below her gently, her smile never faltering.
"Good ice." She murmured to herself. Then she sighed, as if disappointed with her own doubts. "This place always has good ice." The girl turned to the speaker in the room, still smiling sweetly. "Sorry, Fujino-san! I totally forgot to look at the time!"
Fujino Michiru. Well, she preferred to be addressed as Micchan, and most people did so. She was a petite girl, much like most that attended the ice-rink, thin and rather without curves. However, her gangly, teenager appearance was completely overlooked due to her bubbly personality and general cheerfulness. And that was, when we didn't mention her passion for Harajuku fashion.
Micchan was a good person, but she wasn't the best skater. In Takeuchi's opinion, if the girl were to spend more time on her skating, rather than her appearance, she would've been ranked much higher on the scoreboard. But, since Micchan's family was rather rich, she was free to do as she wished, being rather laid-back about her career. In Takeuchi's eyes, that was an absolute waste.
"Was it good?" Micchan asked as Takeuchi skated to the exit, leaving the ice. "Your morning session?"
"It was great! I'm beat!" The petite girl said, smiling at the colorfully dressed skater as she staggered towards the bench. "I kind of don't want to go to class now." Micchan giggled, nodding her head.
"Me neither!" The girl agreed. "It's quite unfortunate that we can't just skate all the time, no?"
"It is!" Takeuchi nodded along, politely smiling. But, her words weren't really coming from the heart. She knew Micchan's view on ice-skating. It was a good way to pass time and please her overbearing father, the former Olympic pair skater. No ambition. No determination. Takeuchi wasn't fond of that sort of skating style. It wasn't from the heart. But, there was nothing that she could do about it.
"You think that you will qualify? For the Juniors'?" Micchan sat next to Takeuchi as the girl unlaced her skates.
"I hope so." The tired skater shoved her skates into her bag, taking a quick look at her cellphone. She noted the time. It was eight o'clock already. She was going to be late for homeroom if she took the bus. No choice then, Takeuchi sighed, grabbing her ATs instead of her sneakers.
"Takeuchi-san! Aren't those illegal?" Micchan exclaimed, gasping in shock. Takeuchi Suzuka was known for her good behavior. She never said or did anything impolite or out of line. She never disobeyed. And she was always smiling. "I can't believe it!"
"No. No. These aren't." Suzuka quickly explained, shaking her palms in front of her in a defensive motion. "After all, you can buy Air Trecks at a regular sports store, Fujino-san. But, they are pretty expensive." The girl frowned for a moment, remembering how much she had to save for the overly pricey equipment. "They become illegal if you take the speed limiters off, which many do."
"Oooooh! I see!" Micchan nodded, her cute pigtails bobbing with her head, numerous colorful hairclips clanking against each other. "Then, Takeuchi-san, you surely didn't make yours illegal?"
"Of course not!" Takeuchi said, waving her hand in front of her face once again. She quickly zipped her bag as Micchan began to talk about a new sale that she had seen. Suzuka quickly laced her ATs, built very similarly to her old school ice-skates and jumped to her feet. "I'm sorry, Fujino-san, I need to leave now." The petite girl offered a small, polite bow and then rushed towards the exit.
"Take care, Takeuchi-san!"
As soon as Suzuka left the Fujino Ice Rink she headed for the nearby alley, placing her bag carefully over her shoulder. The long, blue strap went around her body, so that she could push her things all the way onto her back. Suzuka looked around, seeing that no one was paying attention and then leaned on her ATs motor, making them shoot forward.
The girl positioned her ATs so that she could do a wall ride, pushing her all the way to the top of the building. From there on, she soared towards the school.
It was a familiar path to her, one that she took most mornings. She rode all over the buildings and roofs of houses in her way, doing tricks left and right as she went. Her bag swung a lot, making her movements a bit slow and clumsy, but Takeuchi had gotten used to it. Before, it was almost impossible for her to properly ride. Now, she could do it. Her skills were much better than before. Her tricks were much more refined.
She had control.
School was dull, as usual. But, unlike most teens, Suzuka actually liked school. No, not the friends and the clubs part. She actually liked school. As in, the teachers, the studying and the testing. She supposed that it was her brother's fault. Well, calling him brother was a bit strange to her, still, but he insisted. Takeuchi Sora, the infamous Wind King of the legendary Sleeping Forest, you've guessed it right. He was her adoptive brother.
Over five years had passed since she had been stripped of her former life, leaving her with the crippled former AT King as the only guardian she knew, and Suzuka was still getting used to it. How does one truly get over a tragedy? She had gone through all the proper stages of grief. Denial. Rage. Bargaining. Depression. Finally, she was at the last stage: acceptance.
She had accepted her loss and decided that she needed to live for the dead. They would want her to live. They would want her to smile every day, thinking of them. So, she had done just that. Sora Takeuchi was a blessing which had come into her life quite unexpectedly.
Suzuka didn't know any of her extended family. She didn't know if she had a grandfather or a grandmother, or even a distant aunt or a cousin. She had suddenly, at a tender, young age, become alone. And then, he had appeared. The man with the Wings that took him across the skies. Sora Takeuchi had been a friend of her older brother's from the AT world, back when she had been a simple wowed spectator. And, the man had accepted her as a part of his family, in memory of that companionship.
He often talked of her brother. Of their glory days of beautiful rivalry, as they hadn't been on the same team. Sora missed the skies terribly, and it showed in his every single waking moment. He had allowed her to keep her brother's ATs and all the spare parts that had been saved from their childhood home, but he had always been worried about her becoming a Storm Rider. He cared for her. He didn't want his precious new little sister to get hurt like he had.
The bell rang out and Suzuka jumped from her seat, quickly packing her English books. She hadn't heard a word of the lecture. Not like it mattered. Her English had always been good. Suzuka hurried out of the classroom, taking her book bag with her. She would need to switch to her blue training bag before she left school, as she was going to the rink for another training session.
In her pocket, her cellphone vibrated twice, telling her that she had a message. As she walked, Suzuka pulled it out, flipping it open and unlocking it with a quick type of her passcode: 4-6-4-9. She always giggled when she typed it, as it spelled out Yo-Ro-Shi-Ku, in other words: 'Hello' or 'Best regards'. It was very old school, but Suzuka liked the inside joke. She opened the mail, quickly scanning through the content.
Sender: 0XX-XXX-XXXX
Date: XX/XX/XXXX
Time: 2:07pm
Text: You seen the new player in town? ∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃)
Suzuka chuckled at the emoji at the end. Knowing the person typing, he had probably blindly stuck a random smiley on there. She hit reply, not looking at the screen as she answered.
Sender: 0XX-XXX-XXXX
Date: XX/XX/XXXX
Time: 2:10pm
Text: Which one? ✧( ु•⌄• )
Her cellphone found its way back into her pocket as she reached her locker, quickly taking off her slippers and putting on her shoes. Suzuka pulled her sports bag from the top of the locker row, putting her books next to her skates before zipping it up. Her cellphone vibrated once more, and she took it out, leaving the school with her big bag. The petite girl shivered a bit in the wind that unexpectedly blew, holding her skirt down absent mindedly. All the ice-skating had her past her insecurities that some boy was going to see her underwear. She was sure to flash a random person occasionally by accident, there was no helping it.
Sender: 0XX-XXX-XXXX
Date: XX/XX/XXXX
Time: 2:15pm
Text: Baby Face Ikki of the West Side Gunz (๑°o°๑)
Suzuka chuckled. East Side Gunz, senpai. She shook her head and nodded to herself. "I've heard of him even without the ATs." The girl mumbled into her chin, walking absent mindedly towards the train-station. "He is in Tomita Mari's class.2-1; The Lawless Zone." Suzuka shivered at the mere thought of the rambunctious class. Luckily, she didn't have the same homeroom teacher as them. Simply seeing them on lunch break was enough.
Sender: 0XX-XXX-XXXX
Date: XX/XX/XXXX
Time: 2:17pm
Text: Sure thing. What about him? (ﾉ´ｰ`)ﾉ
The warning for an arriving train sounded and Suzuka moved a step back before entering the vehicle. She took out her headphones, putting them in her ears and plugging them into her phone. The cute strap of an animated ghost with a blush swayed back and forth as she did, bringing another smile onto her face. If there was one thing that she loved besides skating it was Casper the Friendly Ghost. She used to watch the cartoon with her brother and mother, and they always commented how she was like the meek, gentle deceased boy. As wrong as it was, the Friendly Ghost had become her ideal, her motto. She wanted to live up to her mother's and brother's expectations.
As her playlist started another mail came.
Sender: 0XX-XXX-XXXX
Date: XX/XX/XXXX
Time: 2:22pm
Text: He's interesting.
No emoji. Suzuka frowned a bit, letting out a soft sigh after a while. "I just can't tell what you're thinking sometimes, senpai." She murmured under her breath. Before she could even reply, another message came. "'Go watch', huh?" Suzuka sighed once more to herself. "Senpai has no regard for my busy schedule, as usual." Then, she grinned. "Well, what can I do? It's probably going to be fun." The petite girl whispered to herself, giving up. Her senpai was usually right, after all.
Sender: 0XX-XXX-XXXX
Date: XX/XX/XXXX
Time: 2:25pm
Text: I'll try to make it. !(*´∀｀*)尸"
"Sora-niichan, dinner's in the microwave!" Suzuka called out, not opening her adoptive brother's room door. There was silence from inside, making her sigh. When she had arrived home after practice, their small apartment had been dark. She had cooked, cleaned and then retreated to her tiny room to eat her dinner and do her homework. After all that, despite her sore muscles, she had changed from her uniform into a pair of comfortable sweats and a large hoodie, preparing to head out. She was going to go and watch Minami Ikki's battle, as her senpai had suggested.
"Not here, huh?" Suzuka was a bit down, since she hadn't seen her adoptive brother the whole day, but the idea of watching an ATs battle cheered her up a bit. She grabbed a pen and wrote a note on their magnetic notepad. Since it was in the middle of the refrigerator, there was no way that Sora could miss it. "There we go." She mumbled to herself, heading towards the door. When Suzuka saw the mess over there, she sighed once more. "I really need to do some proper cleaning this weekend." She told herself, taking her ATs from the top of the pile of haphazardly discarded shoes. Sora was as big of a slob as she was, which was quite a feat for a disabled man. Together, they were the worst of hoarders.
Suzuka checked the laces of her Air Trecks once more, making sure that they were tied properly. It was a skating habit which had saved her from quite a few embarrassing falls in both her careers. The girl left the small flat, locking it after herself. She put her cellphone and keys into her pockets, careful that they were in different ones. She had scratched her phone one too many times with the sharp metal already. It looked like it had been through war.
Their flat was on the first floor, as the building manager, Iwasaki-san, was rather sympathetic for Sora, due to his disability. He had even lowered the price considerably, to help out the 'poor children'. His wife, the gentle Iwasaki-baachan often knocked on the apartment door, offering them some of the leftover homemade food or inviting Suzuka to go shopping with her on the weekends. They had both been a real blessing to the two strangers who had been thrust together.
Suzuka made sure to close the building door behind her, so that it automatically locked and then skated down the sidewalk, mindful of the people who were walking. Her long, pale blonde hair whipped around her as she did and the girl searched through her hoodie pockets for a hair tie. After pulling her monster hair (as Sora called it in the morning) into a low, messy (it had already gotten tangled) bun at the nape of her neck, Suzuka was ready to leave the street and head towards the Higashi Middle School.
As the wheels of her worn ATs found the wall of a nearby building, Suzuka did a simple climbing trick, flipping her light body in the air, landing in an artistic arabesque, as if she were skating. The girl's lips pulled into a grin, so different from her usual gentle smile, while she was feeling the wind blowing into her face. She was excited. It was dark. The night had fallen. Underneath her the city was ablaze with tiny lights. Cars. Street lamps. Shop windows. House windows. Cellphone screens. Traffic lights. It was like a carnival. Like an every night carnival. And, it was there, bellow her, for her to appreciate.
The wind in her ears made her deaf to the background music of cars honking and busses hitting their breaks, and she could only hear her own blood pumping through her veins. She was flying through the air, building to building, pose to pose. She was free. She was riding. Riding the Storm.
Suzuka was a Storm Rider. And she loved every single second of it.
The young ice-skater arrived to the school with quite some time to spare before the battle. There was a crowd gathering left and right, riders watching the new kid on the block, Minami Itsuki. Suzuka looked for a high spot on top of one of the billboards, balancing herself so that she could sit criss-cross. It was a bit of an uneasy, unstable position, but for a figure skater like her, it was a piece of cake. In a couple of seconds, she found her center, completely at home with her strange, new perch.
Looking around, Suzuka tried to see if her senpai had also come to watch the battle. Of course, she was keeping her eye out for any of the big shot riders, as well. She spotted a couple of more famous teams from the area, like the leader of Jungle Cats, an E-class team which specializes in acrobatic tricks, and the second in command of The Running Ostrich, an F-class group from the south, whose forte was speed racing. She froze once her eyes landed on two girls sitting together.
"Oi. Oi." Suzuka sat up straighter, bending forward to that she could see better. "This is just a low class battle. Why in the blazes are those two-?" Simca the Swallow of Genesis and Ringo Noyamano, the current Thorn Queen of the Sleeping Forest were sitting side by side, chatting, apparently. It didn't look too friendly. Suzuka's left hand flew to her hair, grasping a loose strand and beginning to twirl it around her fingers restlessly.
There was something going on that she was obviously missing. Suzuka felt like she was the only one who hadn't gotten the punch line of the joke and, oh boy, did she abhor that feeling.
The petite ice-skater let go of her hair, finally relaxing. "Yare, yare." The girl sighed out, her arms going above her head, where she locked her slim fingers together and stretched them out, joints popping. "That was way more exciting that a regular F-class battle. How low I've sunk!"
Suzuka grasped the billboard top in between her legs for support as her feet went on each side, pushing her body up. A gentle breeze flew through her hair, loosening a couple more strands. She pulled out her cellphone, holding onto her ghost strap with her pinky as she took a quick picture of the ruckus bellow her. Flipping her phone closed, Suzuka crouched, causing the motors in her ATs to begin working, steam rising from the friction between the wheels and the metal of the billboard sign frame.
Some riders turned to look at her, the orange and yellow sparks from her ATs making her position shine in the dark. Suzuka waited a moment longer, before she heard it. The exact, perfect moment to push off. And she flew through the air. ATs, just the same as ice-skates, had a certain sound, like a scream. They told you just when they were ready, just when they wanted you to move and if you've done your trick or jump correctly. Suzuka had learned to hear that, just like the sound of a particular note on a piano. She had her senpai to thank for that.
The way down the nearby buildings was easy as the rider closed in on the cheering crowd bellow. She paused there, looking at the different players and positioning her cellphone skillfully to scan their ATs with her Read as they passed. She smiled as she read the results on her screen. Not a single team above E-class. What a pity.
"That was awesome!" A passing rider commented to his buddy. "I heard that that guy only just started AT." He commented.
"Yeah, he doesn't even have a team yet." His friend responded, nodding. "Maybe we should recruit him? What do you think?"
"Let's ask the Boss." The first rider agreed happily. "A guy who can do a Spinning Wall Run and an Upper Soul with absolutely no training? The Boss will surely want him!"
"Amazing." Suzuka whispered to herself, a smile making its way to her face. "You sure know how to pick them, senpai."
"Eh?" One of the chatting riders turned to Suzuka, as if only noticing her presence then. "Did you say something, kiddo?"
The petite girl spun around, a sweet smile on her face. "No. No." She waved her hands in front of her face in a defensive motion, her cheeks reddening. Someone had actually caught her mumbling to herself. How embarrassing. She thought. "Talking on my cellphone!" She waved the open phone in front of them for good measure, putting it at her ear next, as if she had been conversing with someone. "Darling, are you still there?" Suzuka gave a few seconds count and then nodded, saying. "Yes. Yes. It just finished." And she walked away from the ruckus of the won battle.
"Too bad, man." The rider's friend said, patting him on the shoulder. "She's cute, but she's as flat as a kid. I thought that it was an elementary brat at first."
Suzuka's way home was pretty slow, due to a sudden wave of depression that hit her at those words.
The petite girl found herself a bit restless the next couple of days. She supposed that it was due to seeing such a talented newcomer. Her Storm Rider soul simply couldn't let it go. She found herself forsaking the train rides completely, in favor of practicing her AT tricks all over the city, despite the large, blue sports bag on her shoulder.
Minami Itsuki. The name stayed in her brain, as if burned there. She couldn't shake it off. She found herself writing it out in her notebook or chanting it as she skated to an old choreography. He had ignited something in her that she didn't know existed before then. No, that was a lie. She knew that it existed. She had felt it, oh so long ago. Her first trick. Her first jump on the ice. Landing her double axel. Winning her first Parts War. Her first competition. Her advancement in Strom Rider class.
But, it had been so long. It had been a terribly long time since she had felt this. This restlessness. This excitement. This energy. This storm inside of her. And it wasn't just blowing up a ruckus. No. It was a true tempest. An icy blizzard of a hurricane tearing her apart from the inside.
And that man had set it loose. Minami Itsuki. A newbie. Baby Face of the East Side Gunz. A baby chick trying out its first flights had made her, the mighty bird with weathered wings tremble with excitement and unrest. She was ecstatic to see what would happen next with him. No. She wasn't in love with him. She wasn't crushing on the boy. Long from that. She was enamored with his ability. With his pure passion for the Air Trecks.
She was infatuated with his honest love for the skies, which had reignited her own.
Takeuchi Suzuka landed on her right leg, crouching properly and raising her left leg to be parallel to the ice beneath her as she glided backwards. Once more, she stuck her toe pick into the surface, making a second triple Lutz jump. Minami Itsuki. She landed it almost perfectly and then felt her ice-skate abruptly stop, sending her flying backwards. Minami Itsuki. It didn't even hurt. She had fallen hundreds of times before, after all.
The petite girl remained lying on the ice, still. Her hair had fallen out from its loose bun, now creating a large halo of pale blonde all around her head. Minami Itsuki. Her hair was going to stick to the ice, but it didn't even bother her. The ice rink was completely silent, save for her hurried pants as she lay there, in the center, motionless. Minami Itsuki. The huge room was almost completely dark, the morning too early for natural light, and she had only lit a single spotlight. Minami Itsuki. Her arms spread out to the ice, fingers tracing her numerous slashes in the ice. Her road. Minami Itsuki. Her nose burned from the inside with each breath she took because of the cold.
The smell of leather and ice. She truly loved it.
Thanks for reading! I hope that you'll leave a review :D
Side note: Yare (which Suzuka uses during the chapter) can loosely be translated as 'Oh dear'. But, the words simply didn't have the same impact in English, so I left them in Japanese.
Interesting fact: Micchan dresses in a Decora Harajuku style, with pink as the dominant color.