Author's note: this is a songfic. I didn't mean to write a songfic about Dawn and Spike, but I love that couple. And I just recently discovered this song -actually, a friend made me hear it -and I totally love it!! ok, please review!!

Disclaimer: You all know it, don't you? Not mine. The song is "Creep" by Radio Head.

Summary: Spike's thoughts about Dawn.

When you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye.
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry.
You float like a feather,
in a beautiful world
I wish I was special,
you're so fucking special.

Spike watched her laugh with her friends. She deserved this. She deserved a life. She deserved to have fun. All her life being attached to the Slayer. To her weird friends. To him. And then she died. What everybody thought impossible happened. The Slayer died. And she thought she was the one to blame. She killed herself for her. Her world had become full of grief and guilt.

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here.

But she seemed over it now. She had a life. And all Spike could do was watch. He didn't belong to that world. To her world. Not anymore. There was a time when he belonged to her. When Buffy had just died, she used to be with him all the time. She shared with him her feelings, her grief, her sadness, her guilt. And then they shared happy times, fun times, when they used to spend some time together, just hanging around.


I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control.
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul.
I want you to notice,
when I'm not around.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special.

And so he fell for her. Harder every time. Every time he saw her. Every time she smiled at him. He knew he was still a part of her world. But not like before. Not like it used to be. She had grown up, and boys had started to notice her. And Spike couldn't blame them. She had become a beautiful girl. Not that she was ugly before. Spike always thought she was pretty, but she was amazing now.

And she didn't belong to him. He was a freak, a weirdo, a monster. A vampire. He knew Dawn didn't care about that. She had always treated him like... a human. The little Nibblet. Since she was fourteen, until now. His Nibblet.


But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?.
I don't belong here

She's running out the door,
she's running,
she run, run, run, run, run.

His heart hurt like hell. Bloody hell, it hurt. He thought he had loved the Slayer. But this was different. This was more than love. And all he could do was watch. Watch while she was having fun with some other guy. The story of his life. That's what happens when you fall for a Summer girl. You always get hurt. But this was deeper than hurt. This was... he couldn't even say what it was.


Whatever makes you happy,
whatever you want.
You're so fucking special,
I wish I was special,

She was so bloody special, and he was a nobody. Just another vampire. Sure, he'd killed two slayers, but that didn't make him different. He was a vampire, that was his job, to kill. Although he couldn't quite do anything to anybody right now. Because of that bloody chip. Even as a vampire he was useless.


but I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here,
I don't belong here.

And all he could do was to watch.

Author's note: hope you liked it. I know it's not that good, but I think it's not bad, either. Please review and tell me what you think! Reviews mean a lot! They do! please!