A/N – This is my first Gilmore Girls fan fiction. There may be a couple of discrepancies here and there, but I'll usually mean them to happen, but feel free to point them out for me! I've lifted scenes from certain episodes that I liked to further the story. Consider this my reworking of season 5. This fic is meant to cover all the Gilmore's lives, but will focus on Lorelai, Rory and their relationships.

Setting: End of Season 4/Start of 5

Rory: Finished 1st year of Yale; slept with Dean, who's still married.

Lorelai: Kissed Luke, hasn't spoken to him since.

Emily and Richard: On the brink of divorce.

In this chapter, I lifted and edited scenes from 4.22 "Raincoats and Recipes" and 5.01 "Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller." Now, on with the story!

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Rome, Italy – Just before dawn

Rory Gilmore tossed and turned in her bed, wishing that the night wasn't so humid. She angrily cursed the oppressive weather, dying for an iced tea, anything to cool her off and perhaps allow her some peace. But no, all that was available was some cheap instant coffee, and hell would freeze over before she drank that.

Rory listened to the gentle breathing of her grandmother, Emily. She hadn't had any trouble sleeping, not even with the noisy couple going at it like nobody's business on the floor above. In fact, Emily had been annoyingly perky, charming every Italian whom she ran across, and oohing and aahing over all the sights. Rory couldn't deny that she herself had been amazed by Rome. It still astonished her that she, Lorelai Leigh Gilmore was, in Europe, living as only a millionaire would. Sometimes her grandparents' wealth frightened her, considering the fact that five years ago, her mother had to scrimp and save to afford Rory the pleasure of going to New York City on a two-day field trip.

After continual tossing and turning, Rory got up and wandered into the bathroom. She got herself a drink of water, amazed by how good Italian tap water tasted, and absently wondering if she could bring a vat of it back with her to Stars Hollow. Studying her refection in her mirror, she saw a pretty blue-eyed nineteen-year-old girl with chin-length brown hair and a dimple in her chin. She looked the same as always, even though she most definitely was not...

Stop it!, Rory cried out mentally to herself, willing herself not to think about Dean. She had tried her hardest to forget what had happened, not wanting to face the consequences of what she had done. Grandma would just love it if she knew that her darling, straight-a, "perfect" model granddaughter had lost her virginity to a married man, a man whom her grandparents hadn't even taken to when they had met nearly three years ago., Rory thought wryly. Suddenly she wished with all her heart that her mother were here with her, helping her make sense of the crazy turn her life had taken in the span of a few short weeks. But things between Lorelai and Rory were definitely not resolved. Rory had left for Europe in a fit of anger and confusion, and aside from a couple of terse phone calls to check in back home, there had been no other communication. How do you go from, "Hi, how's the Inn doing?" to spilling your heart out while your grandmother is a few feet away, eavesdropping on your conversation while pretending to be fascinated by her gelato?

Rory walked out of the bathroom and strode over to the window, where the first light of dawn was breaking. The city was still sleeping, and the faint reddish glow that was creeping up over the horizon made Rome look even more magical, if that was even possible. Rory stared it for a minute and sighed, thinking about how her mother would have loved to be here with her. She looked down at the dress she had left the night before, and blood rushed to her face – it was the last dress she had worn as a virgin. Rory picked it up and inhaled its scent deeply, still able to pick up the trace of Dean's cologne. At this simple action, tears rushed to her eyes and she angrily brushed them away, no longer able to suppress the memories…

Flashback: Just over a week ago…

Dean glanced around Rory's room, while Rory nervously looked on, twisting her dress. They made some small talk, completely inconsequential, both trying to hide their nervousness. Finally Dean brought up what both were thinking but trying to hide "You know, I had a feeling that maybe if Tom hadn't come in when he did-"

Rory quickly interrupted him, suddenly wishing that he hadn't brought it up, "Dean?"

Knowing what she was about to say, Dean jumped in, "It's not working with Lindsay. I can't make it work. I've tried."

Rory tried her hardest to suppress her feelings, not daring to hope that Dean might still have feelings for her. "Are you sure? Because I've heard that the first two years of marriage are the hardest."

Dean vehemently dissented. "No! We're not happy. She's not happy, and I can't make her happy. It's over. We both feel it. I know we both feel it." When Dean repeated his last sentence, Rory wasn't sure whether he was trying to convince her or himself. Neither, for that matter, was Dean.

Rory slowly reiterated, "You both feel it's over?"

Dean shrugged his shoulders, giving Rory a look that she couldn't decipher. "I tried. We tried."

"Well, if it's over, I'm sorry."

Dean gave Rory a look of disbelief, but she could also discern the first wisps of hope appearing on his face. He asked, "You are?"

Rory realized that she was possibly sounding trite, saying things because they were the things to be said. However, that was what she felt, and she knew that Dean would know that she was sincere. "I'm sorry you're not happy."

Dean made a gesture as if to move towards her, but then stopped, fixing his gaze on anything but her. After a moment that to Rory seemed to last an eternity, he replied, looking into her eyes, "I'll be happy again. Things happen for a reason, right?" As he spoke, he took a hesitant step in her direction.

Rory did the same, stammering, "Right. I can't believe this is - that we're..."

Dean had to smile; even though four years had passed, Rory was still the nervous, blushing girl he had struck up a conversation with when they were still high school sophomores. "I can…"

That was the end of conversation. Rory moved into Dean's arms, and when he kissed her, it was as if nothing had changed between them, that this was completely natural even though it was terribly wrong. As Dean's kisses deepened and became more urgent, she got caught up in his passion and put all thoughts and worries firmly out of her mind. Dean slowly lowered Rory to her bed…

Rory slowly became aware of her surroundings as she opened her eyes and looked around her. Dean was staring at her with such a look of tenderness on his face that she blushed. He brushed a tendril of hair off her face and leaned in to kiss her softly on her lips. "I love you, Rory."

Rory sighed happily. "I love you, too, Dean."

They were both lying in Rory's bed, sheets up to Rory's chest, both with identical, soppy looks of happiness on their faces.

Sighing again, Rory thought aloud, "This right here, is - the textbook definition of a perfect moment."

Dean kissed her shoulder. "Yeah, it is."

"And I'm happy, are you happy?"

Dean smiled in between his kisses on her shoulder and neck. "I'm very happy."

Rory laughed as Dean found her ticklish spot and began kissing her there. "Happy, but not chatty?"

Dean turned her around so that they were fully facing each other. "I'm just… trying to make sure that all this is really happening."

"It is." They leaned in for another passionate kiss, taking their time over it. Rory broke away and said, "Hey, you know what I think we need?"

"What?"

"A song. Like a song that's "our song". Something romantic, but not mushy, something that will make us remember this."

Dean chuckled, "Ah, believe me, I'm remembering this."

Rory smiled mischievously, and Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise - it was a bit disconcerting to see her so self-confident, almost cocky when just moments before she had been extremely nervous. "Oh, I know." She reached over to the nightstand and loaded a nearby CD into her player and turned it on. Okay. Perfect. So, from now on, no matter what you're doing, where you are, you'll stop and think of me when you hear this." Sammy Davis Jr.'s "The Candy Man" started playing.

Dean laughed, grabbing Rory in a tight hug. "That's not gonna be our song."

Rory wriggled out of his embrace so that she could settle in his arms more carefully.

"Why not? It's perfect. It's happy. It's hopeful. It has the word 'candy' in it. Hey, what is more hot than candy?"

Dean cringed. "Pick something else."

Rory started bobbing her head in a highly exaggerated manner, while singing so off-key that Dean actually removed his hands from Rory and put them over his years.

"Who can take the sunrise… sprinkle it with dew" Rory sang louder to aggravate Dean.

Dean removed his hands and made a grab for the remote, trying to distract Rory by nuzzling her neck and shoulders. "Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'll pick something else."

"No!" As distracting as Dean's ministrations were, she still managed to keep a hold on the remote.

"Hand it over, I can't take it anymore!"

Rory smirked triumphantly, holding the remote well out of reach. "This is what happens when the women get the remote, ah-ha!"

Back to the present…

That moment was effectively when Rory's happiness ended. Just then, Lorelai had burst in and caught them both looking extremely guilty. The next day was filled with avoidance of each other, speaking only when they needed to. Rory wanted so desperately to have the "morning after" talk with her mother, but after their row, it seemed to be just another impossibility.

Rory made no effort to stem the tears that were flowing down her cheeks, holding on tightly to that pink dress as if it were her lifeline. "I shouldn't have had to lose my virginity like this," she whispered angrily. "What happened to being able to celebrate it, enjoy it? How did things get so messed up?"

Up until that point, Rory had all but forgotten about Lindsay, Dean's wife. Now, as Lindsay's name invaded Rory's mind, she began to feel incredibly guilty. No matter how awful a woman Lindsay was, she didn't deserve to be cheated on, especially as she had taken pains to try to get along with Rory.

Dean hadn't even called to see how she was. In the span of twenty hours, from when Dean left the Gilmore house to when Rory left for the airport, she had heard nothing from him. Not even Dean, her first love, her first lover, had been bothered. Rory tried to convince herself that he was probably agonizing over how to proceed, and she ultimately couldn't blame him, but it still hurt like hell.

Rory slowly wiped her face with the back of her hand, and looked out of the window again. The sky was now flaming pink, and the sun could just be seen peeking over the rooftops. She slowly walked to the other window, facing westwards, and whispered, in a defeated, broken voice, "Mom, I need you."