Chapter 1

Hope you enjoy the first chapter of this story. I'm highly motivated by constructive criticism and reviews so I hope to hear from all my readers.

Happy reading!

I feel like another person today…

As I grip the edge of the bathroom sink for dear life I realize that the alcohol has done more than impair my balance. I'm strangely aware of myself. The reflection staring back at me is not the tomboyish 14-year old from before. Now four years later, in her place stands an older teen with long hair, swept bangs, fuller lips, and blood shot eyes—I barely recognize myself and the euphoria I'm feeling right now. I came here with a purpose, which I could not accomplish in a right state of mind; I wouldn't have the guts for it if I was sober. One beer and five shots later, I was ready to jump into anything.

I stumbled to the door and held myself in place when I heard Bra moaning on the opposite side and I finally remembered why I had stayed in the closet sized bathroom for so long when I didn't even feel the need to puke.

"Shit" I sighed to myself. It usually didn't take people this long to do the deed. I hadn't expected the blonde Bra lured out to have that much stamina. From previous experiences I know it takes her half hour to wrap things up, today it felt like she needed an eternity. Maybe he was lacking in the satisfaction department. I closed my eyes for what seemed like a moment trying to drown the noises coming from behind the door when it suddenly jerked open and I fell towards the muscular body that stood there.

"Sorry Pan, I didn't know you were in there" Uub said apologetically. I looked to the now empty bed behind him before I looked at him for the first time tonight. Unlike me he hadn't changed one bit—mentally that is, physically he was Greek god chiseled to perfection in all the right places, he had cut his Mohawk and re-grew his hair into a faux hawk instead. He had always been wonderful in every sense of the word, yet I couldn't figure out why I had ended our relationship almost a year ago. "I have no idea how you could fall asleep in here listening to Jake and Bra…while standing no less. I heard it all the way down the hall" he chuckled softly but it made my head pound, I didn't want to be alone with him right now, but I knew he probably had looked for us in the sea of bodies that were in the living room downstairs so I didn't push away. Uub went from being my boyfriend to care taker, always making sure Bra and I survived the night only to be murdered by our parents when they found out we had snuck out to go to a party. Still, his good intentions were never enough for me to forget to avoid any situation where he could get near me. I could tell he had been dwelling on what we had, I rarely did, and I didn't want to hurt him.

"I'm not ready to go home yet" I replied while trying to steady myself when I noticed he was holding my waist to keep me from falling, 'too close' I thought, instead he held me closer and tighter. "Haven't had enough yet?" Uub said a bit too solemnly for my liking—so he knew why I came to this ridiculous party. I didn't know a single person there, but I made it a point to get drunk beyond comprehension and mingle with most of the guys. I was desperate to find someone, anyone that would fill the void I've felt for the past year and a half…the same emptiness Uub failed to fill.

'I have to stop remembering'

I bit my lip trying to hold back tears, not in a million years would I had imagined that I'd be an emotional wreck towards a guy that might as well have been my other overprotective uncle—and I couldn't let Uub know that. I didn't know what to say to him, anything I said at this point would hurt him. I was drunk enough to have sex with the first guy that offered and apparently to admit it…

"Bra got in on some action" I smiled at him stupidly not knowing what else to do. "I think I deserve to as well" I let go of his shirt and I stepped back into the small bathroom, the place I seemed to have been cornered in the entire night, and as soon as I did that I regretted it, the action could be mistaken for an invitation. He followed in a few steps until he had me pinned to the wall, hands on each side of my face and his lips at the nape of my neck. "If that's really what you want I rather you use me than some low life that can get his way with you" his breath made shivers run down my entire body until a whimper escaped from me. How ironic, I thought the same thing when I had agreed to go out with him. But I also thought he would be the one to save me from the memories of the insanity I had live through.

He kissed my cheek and looked at me, through me with the blankest stare and after a moment held my hand to walk me out of the cramped space. Suddenly the memory of a warm body over me flashed before me and the craving I felt for him ate at my being again.

'I NEED to stop remembering'

"Ok" I said as I pulled his hand back to me.

The look of surprise in his face was followed by a small smile and then his lips against mine—soft and gentle, just as he was. Uub's hands trailed my bare thighs all the way to the hem of my dress and any second thoughts I had about this agreement between us dissipated. In less than a few seconds we were back to the wall while our tongues melted each other and my arms encircled his neck bringing him impossibly closer to me. It was then when he lifted my leg to his side that I felt him inside of me and the noises I made matched the ones Bra made earlier this evening.

I felt whole again and the thoughts running through my mind were only of him and me. Each thrust made me feel incredible and they were exactly as I had remembered from our previous encounters; Uub was steady, tender, and loving. The word 'sex' was too dirty and animalistic to describe what I was doing with him and knowing this instantly made me feel like the biggest bag of dirt in the world. How could I be using him, toying with his feelings, for my benefit?

I was panting now. "Uub stop". He looked at me with longing and didn't grant me my request. Instead he crushed his lips to mine and kissed me so roughly that I did not recognize him.

"We need to stop" my words came out breathless in the second I managed to speak again. I moved my arms from his neck to push his chest away with no success. "Not yet" he replied before devouring my lips again.

The lights in the bathroom seem to get brighter and I could barely open my eyes.

His lips were so rough on mine, as if he couldn't get enough and just when I felt the need for air he expertly trailed his lips below my ear lobe, down my neck and finally to my collar bone sucking lightly on each of the places .His rhythm picked up pace and the inside of my thighs burned each time his skin came into contact. My right leg was still lifted to his side when he picked me up from my bottom so I could in encircle his waist…letting him fill places deeper inside of me. My moans became louder as I gripped his shoulders with all my might. How could something make you feel so amazing and be painful at the same time? I didn't care. I didn't want him to stop.

"I wanted you so bad" he whispered in my ear before I felt his damped forehead against mine. I finally managed to open my eyes despite the blinding lights and was met with the bluest sapphire eyes. We were both close to climax and I refused to take my eyes off of his. My muscles contracted several times and then I felt it—a fulfillment that I had never felt before. Once he helped me off him I wasn't sure how I was going to stand—my legs had turned to Jell-O. He grabbed my chin and lifted it lightly so that I was looking directly at him and he shot me the smirk that I was so fond of. "You're out of practice Panny, I remember you having more endurance". I couldn't laugh; the joke only reminded me how long we had gone without seeing each other and it only made me feel like crying.

"I missed you" I was near tears and the sentence was barely audible to myself. "I missed you too" he kissed me once again. Short and sweet. 'Too short…' I thought. I grabbed his face ready to steal the longer kiss that I wanted. "Trunks…" I said before meeting his lips half way when he ripped my hands away from him.

"What did you just call me?" Uub's eyes were wild and angry. My heart hammered to my chest, I was at a loss of words. I couldn't believe myself and still I was a bit angry at Uub too; he was supposed to help me forget, not relive a moment that I held so dear yet could no longer have. "Answer me!" he yelled and it only startled me more.

"Did you and Trunks…" I cut him off; I didn't want to hear it. "Please don't tell anyone" I said in a whisper. I could feel the tears streaming down my face and couldn't trust my voice not to break if I spoke out loud. I couldn't even apologize while I watched Uub put his jeans back on and storm out of the bathroom. It was odd finding myself in this situation, I didn't know what to do…it wasn't like myself, but then again I'm not the same person I was then.

Two years ago
it had been a day of firsts…

It was Trunks' twenty-sixth birthday, and his first day living on his own. He had recently purchased a skyloft Penthouse in the most luxurious loft the city had to offer and I had to admit, it was very impressive. All the hours he had spent away from his friends…away from me, to be able to afford this privacy had finally paid off; but as I stood in the balcony taking in the beauty of the skyscrapers reaching well over the horizon I couldn't help but feel helpless.

"This is perfect hun" I heard Bulma's excited voice say to Trunks from inside the apartment where the party was taking place. "I can definitely see you here with a wife and kids" I imagined her winking at him. 'Straight through the heart' I thought, it hurt so much just picturing him with another woman in his arms, I didn't know if I would be able to bear it if it were to happen.

I couldn't remember exactly when I had become so possessive of him, just that I woke up one day and realized how gorgeous and faultless he was. In a way it had sickened me, Trunks had been there for as far as I could remember; he had been another uncle figure. Who in their right mind fell in love with their relatives? When I thought about having the same feelings, the thoughts I had for and of Trunks for my uncle Goten I felt disgusted. But what was the difference? To this day I couldn't figure out the answer to that question.

"Miss I don't think we've been introduced" his voice broke my thoughts and when I saw him, I couldn't help the blush that crept on to my cheeks. He was dressed in black slacks and a button up, accompanied by a tie that only intensified the color of his eyes. He was looked astonishing.

"It has been a while, hasn't it?" I smiled at him from where I stood awaiting his familiar greeting. He hugged me tightly yet casually, very appropriately. "You look beautiful" he flashed me that smirk of his that made me weak at the knees. "Dresses suit you well, but from what I hear some of my co-workers already made you aware of that". They did in fact, every single one of them. I hadn't expected Trunks' new buddies to attend his birthday party, but even less, a swarm of men gawking at me like fresh meat—even though in a sense, I was. Sixteen years old, zero relationship record, no current boyfriend, in conclusion—virgin.

"They did" my eyes rolled unintentionally as I pulled back from his embrace.

"Be careful around them" he said sternly, like a parent would to their mischievous child.

"Ok Dad"

"Pan, if you were my daughter you'd be in a nunnery" he laughed, but I didn't find it funny. I didn't see him as my babysitter, my uncle, and definitely not my dad. "No man would lay a finger on you" he kept taunting me and he hadn't even realized how angry he had made me. I pushed him out of my way and headed to the edge of the balcony, I wanted to get as far away from him as I could until I could cool myself down. I knew how childish I looked; pouting over another one of his stupid jokes, but it really did hurt and the tears were beginning to sting my eyes.

His footsteps followed closely behind me and I climbed on top of the railing holding myself to the pillar on the corner of the building, not knowing where else to go.

"Woah, what are you doing?" Trunks ran closer towards me and stopped dead in his tracks when I tried to balance myself in the death trap heels I wore. This was a mistake; I could barely stand with them on flat ground, my first priority was distancing myself from him and then finding a way to get back on to the balcony floor safely.

"Trunks go away" I didn't want him to see the tears that were threatening to fall, it was so embarrassing; specially when I couldn't tell him, my closest friend, what caused them. "Panny, I'm sorry if I said something that upset you. Did something happen between you and your dad? Come down so we can talk about it…like old times" the music inside had gotten louder, but I heard him clearly…the way he was starting to choke on his words. Nervous.

"I can't" I told him with a sad smile. I really couldn't—I would lose him completely and I didn't know if I was mentally ready for that.

"Pan, please come down" his voice was filled with worry. He was very cautious while approaching me— as though he didn't want to startle me with sudden movements. I couldn't understand why he was so worried, was I forever going to be the pestering kid he had to look after?

I didn't budge from the top of the railing and his brows creased. "I'm begging you" he said through clenched teeth as he extended his arm towards me. "Grab my hand" his voice was pleading me and his eyes demanded it; I had never seen him so on edge, not even in fights and for some strange reason I found it amusing.

The temperature had dropped several degrees since that afternoon and the short, white summer dress I wore did little to protect me from the icy wind that was blowing. A shiver ran through my body making me fidget against the cold pillar that I was holding on to and I almost lost my balance.

" Pan!" his scream came out hoarse.

"Trunks its ok, I'm an angel; I can fly" I said it matter-of-factly and looked into his eyes, smiling to reassure him that everything was alright. I didn't want to see that pained expression in his face anymore. "And where are your wings Panny?" his face was weary and his breath was visible in the air and I noticed him scanning me, analyzing the situation; going through every possible scenario in his head on how to remove me from the balcony rail before I accidently took a plunge to my imminent death.

"Right here" I let go of the pillar and extended my arms out and high pretending they were the most majestic size—then I saw the glint in his eyes. The fall happened so quickly that I had not comprehended what had happened until I was on the ground on top of Trunks. Our hair disheveled, his tie made into a complete mess, the straps of my dress hanging loosely at the sides of my arms…we had never been in this position before, me straddling his waist as he held mine and my hands firmly pressed against his chest. I had always fantasized it, but never in a million years would I have guessed I would actually be this close to him, welcoming the proximity with all of my being, the warmth radiating from his skin onto mine, the sound of his heart beat hammering against my palms. It was a funny thing how time changed people, the boy I looked to for protection when I was merely a baby, became a man who's embrace I sought and I cursed the heavens for making me so much younger than he was. It wasn't fair that the one thing I desired most I could not have.

"I just caught an angel, I must be the luckiest guy on Earth" he could tease me now that I wasn't standing on a ledge. I had enough of the over protection and the teasing; I was tired of being treated the same way as his younger sister.

"Trunks, you can stop babysitting me now. I'm not a little girl anymore; I can take care of myself" my voice sounded sad, probably matching the expression in on my face. I hoped it with all my might, that one day he would see me for the woman I was becoming. "I know Panny" one of his hands left my waist and caressed my cheek. "I have to get use to it, I'm sorry" his smile was sincere and I hated the fact that he was oblivious to what his touch did to me and how much I wanted him to desire me…to hold me.

I knew what I was about to do would make him stay away from me, but I needed some sort of closure; once he rejected me I would be force to face reality—that no matter how much I dreamed about us being together it would never happen, after all, I knew the feelings I had for him would not be reciprocated.

My hands were trembling, but I wasn't quite sure whether it was from the cold or my nerves. "I grew up Trunks" it came out in a whisper. I stared down as a placed my hand over the one that he held my hip with and guided it down, slowly, to the end of the hem of my dress. I heard him hold his breath when I curled our fingers around the fabric and pushed it gradually up to my thigh. "You think I haven't noticed that?" he said harshly as he brought my face closer to his, our lips merely an inch apart. "An angel…" he scoffed cynically. "More like my own personal, demon." He caressed my bottom lip with his thumb. "When are you going to stop tempting me Pan?" What was he saying? It didn't make sense. I was frozen in place, wondering if I had actually fallen off that balcony and somehow made it to heaven.

I was at a loss of words; all I could do was gaze at his translucent eyes until his lips met mine and my body temperature began to rise. The roughness of his kiss told me how long he had waited for it and I hoped the yearning in my eyes would tell him the same.

He snickered to himself "I'm going to hell" he rested his forehead against mine and I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth that radiated from it.

"Then I'm coming with you" I took in his lips again, softly this time caressing every inch of his tongue.

It was the day I received my first kiss, the first time Trunks had even insinuated he felt the same way I did, the day we sinned… and I was on top of the world.