Yu Narukami was filled with righteous anger. It pulsed through his body like white-hot lightning, rousing him to action, to preserve justice. He knew only one way to exact the revenge that was morally required upon Tohru Adachi.
He readied the necessary materials; the plastic wrap especially. He knew he had only one chance; if he failed now, he might never see any of his loved ones ever again. He felt a slight pang at his heart when he thought about that. He shook his head, reminding himself that a time like this was no time for hesitance or fear. He must go forth and execute the punishment, without a thought as to the dangers he would encounter on the way. Yes, like a true Master of the World of Shadows, he would internalize the lessons he learned and face anything, because nothing he could have to face could be worse than his own True Self.
Such thoughts in mind, he snuck into the police station, and saw Adachi sipping from a small paper cup at the water cooler. Quickly, checking to make sure no-one else was around, he pounced on Adachi.
"So what am I going to do about that friggin' investigation te- AAAAAAAA!" Adachi said, as he was pounced upon. Yu was ready, though, and pulled the plastic wrap from his front pocket, where it was kept warm by his genital heat. He slapped a precut square over Adachi's mouth, silencing his cries for help.
Excellent. That problem taken care of, it was time to move to the next stage of the plan. He used a quick Zio to fry Adachi's neurological system a bit, just enough to render him unconscious with relatively little lasting damage. He dragged the man out the front door, to where his car was waiting to take them to their next destination. Yes, Adachi would be made to pay for his crimes, in the most fitting place possible.
Around 20 minutes later, Yu stopped the car. He removed the plastic wrap from Adachi's face, and punched him, screaming "WAKE UP! IT'S WAFFLE TIME, BITCH!"
Adachi stirred. Still dazed, he said, "Mom, is that you? You know I prefer pancakes..."
Adachi drifted back towards unconsciousness. Yu quickly brought him back to the present with a kick to the groin. "Not again, Mom! How many times have I told you I don't..." Adachi opened his eyes again. "YOU! I mean, Yu! Fuck this is confusing. I'll have you arrested for this! Fucking assaulting a fucking police officer, do you know how many years that'll get you? Just wait-"
Adachi was interrupted by another swift kick to the groin. At this point the only sounds emerging from his mouth were pitiful moans. Yu relished them for a moment, then quickly collected himself and remembered his task. He pulled Adachi's small form out of the car, dragging him to a wall. He looked at Yasogami High before him, and thought of his dearest friends. Yosuka, Chie, Teddy, Yukiko... Mr. Morooka. The tears Yu Narukami now shed for Mr. Morooka formed a flood that covered the land, threatening to swallow all in its raging waters. Only the shining light of the fully maxed out Judgment Social Link within Yu could close the floodgates, and allow him to carry out his task.
Yukiko Amagi walked through the halls of Yasogami High. She had stayed late in order to take care of her cleaning duties, as well as to get some alone time away from the incessant business at the inn. She had decided to take over, but did it always have to be so hectic? Couldn't fault a girl for wanting some time to herself every one in a while, y'know?
She opened the door, having fully enjoyed herself inside with the various things that were available in the janitor's closet for someone of her age and sexual repression, when she saw one of her dearest friends standing a few dozen yards away. She was immediately embarrassed, her face turning red like a burning tomato. She ran back behind the door, praying he hadn't noticed her, and peeked out a bit, turning her neck at an exactly 30-degree angle. As she looked on, something new became apparent. Yu wasn't alone! What could this mean? Did he... was he interested in another girl? No, wait... That's a man.
Oh my.
Her inner fujoshi awakened, Yukiko cautiously crept around the door. Fortunately, Yu's back was to her, but she wanted to be careful anyway. She didn't want to be caught there, nor did she want to interrupt... whatever was happening. Not before she got a closer look, anyway.
She now crouched behind Yu's car, and had a perfect view of the scene. She still couldn't make out the mysterious male's face - it was blocked by Yu's body - but he was definitely on his knees in front of him. Oh no... Oh no... Her mind immediately jumped to the obvious conclusion. They were fucking. Truly, Yukiko Amagi was an ace detective. She congratulated herself on her capabilities of deductive reasoning, and immediately grabbed the cellphone from her pocket to take a video of this momentous occasion. She fumbled in her pocket, and pulled out the Nokia. Truly, the cellphone of culture. She held it out before her, pressing the 'Record' button, when it let out a horrible, horrible noise. It was a beep. But it was a resounding beep; it echoed across the school parking lot, across the grounds of the school, across Inaba; indeed, one might say this beep beeped all over the Land of the Rising Sun. Most importantly, however, it beeped in the ear of Yu Narukami.
"SHIT!" Yu shouted, in the voice of a man caught with his penis in a vacuum cleaner. "Anyone there?" he called. Receiving no answer, he shrugged, and turned back to Adachi. "Don't you dare stop, you sick fuck," he said. "Keep it in your mouth, and make sure to swallow. If you leave any of it over, unswallowed, I will personally make you wish I had killed you."
"Mfmfmfmmmm," Adachi said.
Yukiko felt it was safe enough to get a clearer view, and was shocked at what she saw. Yu's head was bent back in a look of obvious ecstasy, Adachi's face still where it was before. She felt her body getting hot, and moved to get a closer look. Yu seemed too preoccupied to notice her, no matter what she did. As she neared him, she heard a moan like a mating lion.
"Oh yes, don't stop, Adachi, don't stop. Keep eating that cabbage. Yes, just like that," Yu said, and Yukiko could see his eyes rolling back in his head. "Force it down your throat, all of it. Your tears pleasure me."
Oh, God, she thought. Why is he doing that to him? Those cabbage leaves everywhere... and he's crying! I don't care what Adachi has done, no-one deserves a punishment like this. No-one...
So why do I find it so arousing?
Yukiko immediately felt her vaginal passageway moisten. The Shadow within her now reared its ugly head, as if whispering into her ear words of temptation: "Come on, you know you want it. You know you want that cabbage inside of you instead of in him. You want his cabbage deep, hard, pounding inside of you so much. So come on, just take it. Get rid of Adachi and use Yu's cabbage the way it was meant to be used."
Thus emboldened, Yukiko Amagi ran towards the pair. Calling the name of the deity Amaterasu, she incinerated Adachi entirely, roasting some of the cabbage as well. Yu shouted "WHO THE FUCK KILLED MY CABBAGE?" and was about to turn around, when Yukiko pounced on him, pushing him to the ground. She pulled some rope out of her pocket that they had been using to set up festival decorations at the school, and tied his arms together. Then she did the same with his feet.
"Don't worry," she said, her hands caressing his abdomen, moving down toward his groin and the bulge there formed by the remaining cabbage in his pocket. "I'll show your cabbage things that it's never even dreamed of."
Yu protested, but his cries for help were quickly overcome by the waves of pleasure saturating him as she began kissing his stomach, and unzipping his pants. "Wait... my cabbage is in my pocket... what are you doing?"
"I'm more interested in the other cabbage," Yukiko whispered. "You might say that the green leafy cabbage is what you see on the outside, but this," she touched his penis, "is the Shadow Cabbage, the True Self."
"What are you talking a-" Yu began, but he could not finish his sentence. Yukiko had already taken her mouth to his True Cabbage, and he now realized that this was truly the real thing; the previous cabbage had been nothing but an imitation, a toy. This cabbage was his True Self, and the sensation of it in her hot wet mouth made him feel at one with himself, the world, and her.
Suddenly, a message appeared above his head. "Thou art I... And I am thou... Thou hast established a genuine bond... These genuine bonds... Shall be your eyes to see the truth. We bestow upon thee the ability of Divine Orgasm, the ultimate form of the Priestess Arcana."
There was no longer any room for thoughts of Justice or revenge; there was nothing at all in Yu's mind but longing, desire, and love for Yukiko Amagi. He sensed the fire in her heart, the fire that he had only before seen expressed as flames incinerating shadows, but whose true form he now saw: A burning love and lust. For him. He admired that great fire, and sought to mirror it with his own, spurring his own sex organ to fulfill her needs, and quench the everlasting flame inside her. He could feel her calling out to him, begging him to do so, encouraging him, wanting him. He focused all his energy into a final burst of liquid to extinguish all her lust, and satisfy her raging heart.
It all pooled within him, filling his body at its base. He shot it at her inner fire, as she welcomed it with great joy.
The fire was extinguished; but no! It was still burning, but now it was no longer a raging passion destroying everything it met, but the comforting, warm fire of the hearth. It felt like home, and he was happy inside it. Yukiko too was happy, her limbs wrapping around him and pulling him deeper inside her.
As the two of them drifted away, she asked him, "Which cabbage do you prefer, Yu?"
"Yours, Yukiko," he said.
Yukiko smiled and shed a tear. "I love you, Yu."
"I love you too, Yukiko."
She kissed him. "Promise you will never leave, that we will always stay together."
"I promise."
"Thank you," she said. The two then slowly drifted off to sweet sleep, minds and bodies as one, having successfully faced and conquered their True Selves.
A white light emerged around their dozing figures, illuminating the evening. It spread until it encompassed the entire town of Inaba, purifying it of the fog that still remained. And so, the love shared by these two saved the town, and Amaterasu's light healed all of their Shadows. As the Shadows dissipated from the hearts of men, merging with the outer selves, they each whispered a silent prayer to the Divine Orgasm that had saved them all.