Author's note: Just lately I have barely had time to breathe let alone do anything else (see my profile if you want the whole story, I didn't want to put it here because a lot of people wouldn't want to know and I don't want to clutter this up) but it was one of my friend's birthdays and so I have been typing this feverishly. Hopefully she will like it, I hope I got the timing right. She lives in Australia and it is so complicated, but her birthday is on Thursday 18th and it's the 17th in the UK and so in Australia it is the early hours of the 18th, right? Right! Anyway, enough of my blabbering, onto the actual fic! This is for you Hogwarts-Hero, happy birthday!

Holidays

Name: Harry Potter

Class: 3JS

Assignment: Write about your most recent family holiday, use these sentence starters.

On the first day of our holiday…

My favourite part was…

I didn't like it when…

Next year…

--

For Christmas me and Uncle Moony and Uncle Padfoot went to Spain! It was lots of fun! We went in a big plane right above the clouds and they looked like snow like in Austria. Uncle Moony felt sick, Uncle Padfoot didn't and he had four bacon sandwiches for breakfast! It took ages and ages and ages to get there, Uncle Moony said I ought to sleep but I didn't want to miss anything. We ate on the plane too, Uncle Padfoot said I could have whatever I wanted. I had a chocolate ice cream sandwich and a packet of fruit pastilles, I wanted a chocolate frog but Uncle Padfoot said they didn't sell them. Uncle Padfoot had a beef burger and Uncle Moony didn't have anything. He had his eyes shut the whole journey, it reminded me of the time we went to the theme park but this time he wasn't sick everywhere. We watched a film about Santa Clause too! He ran out of presents and had to make loads and deliver them all on Christmas eve! It was really good.

When we got there we went straight to the hotel, Uncle Padfoot liked the receptionist a lot, Uncle Moony said he was irrepressible and that he shouldn't make new friends while I am there, I think that that is wrong. Uncle Moony is always telling me that friends are important and to make as many as I can so he shouldn't stop Uncle Padfoot.

He says I should also find a few really loyal ones to be my best friends. I asked him if that was what he did and he told me more stories about him and my dad and Uncle Padfoot, they sound like they had a lot of fun at school. He mentioned another person too, he sometimes does that. His voice goes all strange too and when I ask him anything about the other man he goes all quiet and Uncle Padfoot drags me off to look at something pointless, that day it was the dining room. He said it was so that he could decide whether to eat there or not but I know he was lying, his ears twitch.

He shouldn't lie anyway, Uncle Moony makes me stand in the corner whenever I lie even if its about a really little thing. He doesn't like lying, he says it leads to mistrust so I'm not allowed to lie, I told him I don't like corners and so I shouldn't have to stand in one but he just found that funny.

When we went back to our room Uncle Moony was all better again, we went to the dining room to eat dinner and Uncle Padfoot made friends with the waitress and Uncle Moony rolled his eyes a lot. Then we went to bed and Uncle Moony and me shared a room and Uncle Moony let me bounce on his big bed while he was making my little bed. Uncle Padfoot is in the room next door and he said I could come in if I needed anything but I didn't because he doesn't like getting woken up. He isn't nasty about it but he is very grumpy the next morning.

On the first day of our holiday we went to the beach and I had three ice creams! Uncle Moony wasn't very happy about it but Uncle Padfoot can talk him round to anything. We played on the beach and we built a really big sand castle! It was as big as me! Uncle Padfoot went surfing and after a bit he let me sit at the end even though it made it unbalanced so we kept falling off, he says the second I am ten he will teach me how to surf. I'm not going to be ten for years and years and years, ten is ancient. Our next door neighbour is ten and he can already count to twenty in French! Uncle Padfoot talks French, he tried to teach me when I asked him but the Rs are all funny and I can't do it.

We went to the beach every single day and we went to the fair lots too only Uncle Moony wouldn't go on any rides this time. We went to lots of restaurants too and Uncle Padfoot made lots of new friends. He was talking Spanish to one of them, and she patted me on the head. It was yucky. Uncle Padfoot thought it was funny, Uncle Moony wasn't there. He was away for three whole days of the holiday! Uncle Padfoot says he was ill.

My favourite part was when we went to a big carnival and a big clown was pulling faces at me and he threw pies at another clown and they rode these funny bikes with one wheel and they did lots of funny stuff, they reminded me of Uncle Padfoot but I'm never going to tell him that. Uncle Padfoot let me sit on his shoulders so that I could see and it was really comfy, I had a burger too and lots and lots of coke. Uncle Moony wasn't happy because I got really bouncy.

I didn't like it when Uncle Moony was away because I missed him a lot. Uncle Padfoot is great and fun but I still miss Uncle Moony when he isn't there. Uncle Padfoot doesn't ever make any new friends when Uncle Moony is away and he plays with me all the time but he isn't Uncle Moony, I miss Uncle Padfoot when he leaves me with Uncle Moony too. When Uncle Moony did come back he was really tired still and we didn't go to places where you had to walk a lot because he didn't have much energy.

Next year Uncle Padfoot wants to go to Egypt, he says its even hotter there. Uncle Moony says he just likes hot countries because people wear less clothes, I don't get what he means but Uncle Padfoot laughed so I think it was a joke. Uncle Moony wants to go to Ireland because he says they have lots of good features and that it would be educational for me. I think Uncle Padfoot will win. I want to go to Disneyland and Uncle Moony and Padfoot promised I can go for my birthday. I'm going to make Uncle Moony go on all the fast rides….

A!

Very good, Harry! This is well written with a keen sense of detail and excellent use of paragraphs and punctuation. However, you stray from the topic of the essay frequently and then when you switch back it makes your writing choppy and confusing. On the other hand you make good use of time and the essay is a decent length, your handwriting has also improved and your writing remains excellent.

JS