serendipity

(n.) finding something good without looking for it

Prologue

Thought I saw you when the sun was coming up again,
Now I think of everything you told me,
Said you had like me a river running through my skin,
Sometimes we all are gettin' lonely,
I can see the light shining in your eyes, even when you're falling asleep,
I can see my fate counting up the days,
But I still believe in you, I be waiting all my life, put it down, keep me up all night

Who would have guessed that this day would come so soon? Oh, how quick the days flew. She hated herself for having to leave now. It hurt her, both physically and mentally. But what else was there for her here? She couldn't stay, not anymore. And she had no clue if she was ever to come back or ever dare to return into the ways and dangers of the hunting life, especially not after what happened to her mother.

Mother. She hit herself mentally for being so stupid. Why can't a rewind button exist? Why can't I delete everything I've done?

The rain was hitting hard against the window like pebbles, shots of light filling up the room every so often due to the lightening outside. She glanced over at the digital clock sitting on the bedside table, the bright, red numbers reading eleven twenty two PM. It was the perfect time to just leave unnoticed without having to go through any heart wrenching goodbyes. She hated those. She had gone through enough in the past.

She folded the very last pair of blue jeans and shoved it into her brown duffel bag. She was careful when she zipped the bag, making sure she didn't make any sudden or loud noises. She let a sigh of sadness escape from between her lips as she grabbed onto the duffel bag's long strap, throwing it over her shoulder. She glanced over at the clock once again but this time, her eyes landed on the large bump occupying the bed beside the table. All of a sudden, the man lying underneath the covers snorted and rolled over violently onto his other side, facing her. Luckily, he seemed to still be in a deep sleep, his eyes closed and completely unaware of the situation.

A meek smile grew on her face as she remembered all the times they had fought over the fact that he really did snore and snort at night. He constantly denied it, even with Sam being on her side and agreeing on the fact that Dean was a pig in his sleep. She looked over at the other bed just beside Dean's one and noticed Sam was comfortably asleep and cozy in his bed.

Dean.

Her stomach tightened every time she heard his name or if anybody spoke it. Her tear ducts were beginning to empty out its contents, her eyelids like an overfilled pool. She was never the type to cry or show her emotions, a 'toughie' she liked to call herself. But this time, it was different; she couldn't keep the pain locked inside of her any longer. And as the pain poured out of her like a spilled cup of water, she allowed herself to cry over everything she had never cried over before. She cried because she had to leave, she cried because she had lost the most important person in her life and she cried because she was going to lose everything. She tried hard to make sure that her whimpering was as quiet as possible as a tear slowly walked its way down her cheek. Brushing away at the salty droplet, she prepared herself mentally to leave and never return. She had to gather up the courage to leave behind the only life she knew, the only people she knew, the only man she ever loved.

She scanned the motel room one last time and noticed small details that she had never really took time to notice before. The wallpaper that only just stuck onto the wall was stained all over, the floral pattern completely unflattering and old fashioned. The carpet was shoddy and the floorboards creaked like hell. The duvets had strange white stains on them, and there was no need to ask what they were. Yeah, motels sucked and she never really was a fan of them anyway. But in the past few months, they had become a home for her, no matter how stupid it sounded. Every week, there was a new place to call home and she was beginning to get used to it and actually find it fun, almost like kids when they went camping.

Almost like an outer body force, her eyes glued once again on Dean's visage and she stared at his eyelids and his complexion. His muscly arm laid above the duvet covers with his other hand comfortably snug underneath the plump looking pillow. Oddly, he had a silly smirk planted on his face, a sign he was probably dreaming of something 'exciting'. Typical Dean she said to herself, finding the situation slightly humorous despite the fact she was supposed to be upset right now.

She opened a drawer as carefully as possible and grabbed a pen that was lying around. By luck, a small, ripped piece of notepad paper was stuck to the bottom of the drawer and she decided it was best to leave a note for the boys when they woke up. As she wrote, she let her feelings pour out into words.

I suck at goodbyes but here's my crappy attempt at one. I've learnt so much while on the road with you both, not just about your history but about myself too. But I can't stay and continue with this, not anymore. I know you probably hate me now as you read this note. I was going to wait till the morning to say goodbye but I wasn't brave enough for that. I couldn't face you, I just couldn't. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to know that I'll never forget you, Deanno, never.

Yeah, and I love you.

Eva

She folded the note and wrote, in big letters, Dean, right in the center of the folded paper, placing it under the pen. At first, she was a little hesitant to leave it behind. She had practically admitted to loving him in a note and that was something huge for her. But then she remembered that she was leaving and that she wasn't going to see him for probably a long time.

She tried to deny it but she was making up excuses to stay longer. But the longer she stayed, the worse it was. Eventually, she mustered up the courage and was now prepared to leave the brothers behind and most importantly, she was leaving him behind. Wary of the fact the floorboards were made of the crappiest wood around, she slowly tiptoed towards the door, grappling tightly onto the strap of her duffel bag. She reached out for the door knob, her warm hand jolting because of the cold metal. She hastily twisted the door knob and opened the door, the sudden noise of rain punching the ground at 100mph almost shaking the motel room. She looked back one last time and mentally sent Dean a kiss, one last tear rolling down her cheek. Reluctantly, she shut the door closed and began to run down the steps, holding her duffel bag over her head as an improvised umbrella.

She managed to reach Dana's grey Chevy Malibu that sat parked in the motels car park. She quickly threw the door open, throwing herself in the front seat and then ruffling her wet hair a little. Dana looked over at Eva, slopping her mouth to one side and giving her a sympathetic look simultaneously. She noticed instantly that her best friend had been crying, residues of water still present on her red face.

"You sure about this?" The blonde haired woman sat in the drivers seat asked.

Quickly glancing up at the old looking motel, she nodded but her eyes remained fixed on the windshield painted with water droplets. She was clearly hesitant to talk further about the subject. "Yeah." She mumbled.

"This ain't Eva speaking, that's for sure," She tapped her fingers on the wheel and stared at the brunette sitting in the front seat of her car. "Look, I know what happened to your mother was, well..." She paused and reminded herself about the sensitivity of the topic. "You shouldn't blame yourself for it. You just gonna leave? No goodbye, no nothing? Just pack up and go?" The young blonde was genuinely confused at her friends actions.

"Yes," She muttered simply. "Look, I called you out here because I thought you'd support me instead of giving me a lecture. I already hate myself enough as it is, Dana," She almost yelled, her temper becoming fervent. But once she realised she was being irrational, she calmed herself down and thought thoroughly about her answer. " I just... wanna start fresh... Away from here. The boys don't need to hear any of my goodbyes, they'll be fine." And as she spoke those words, she felt her throat tighten.

"Oh, sure, they'll be absolutely on top of the world when they find out you left, especially Dean," She replied sarcastically. "Eva, seriously? What are you doing?"

Eva lifted her head up and glared into Dana's hazel eyes. She noticed her friend had pure confusion painted all over her face. To be quite frank, she wasn't sure what exactly she was going to do now, practically all on her own, despite having Dana by her side. All she knew was that the hunting life could no longer be a part of her, despite the roots.

"Moving on." Was all she managed to say.

Dana opened her mouth to say something, anything that would make her friend change her mind, but there was no use. Dana knew her too well to know that once she had her mind set on something, there was no changing that. As a long sigh escaped from her mouth, she pushed her car keys into the keyhole and twisted it, the engine starting up with a violent cough. It was now quiet between the two, the incessant sound of the engine being the only thing stopping the silence from becoming too awkward. Dana purposefully reversed slowly out of the parked space she was in, eyeing Eva at the same time to notice if she was showing any signs of hesitance or objection to leaving. But no. Eventually, Dana's Chevy was back on the road and then into the highway once again. The drive back to Cali was going to be a long one.

Eva's head drooped against the window, her eyes flustering, unable to sleep because of the bumpy road making the car literally jump every second. Dana, although finding it difficult to maintain herself awake, paid close attention to the road. They had been in the car for almost an hour with no conversation between the two. Eva drowsily stared into the distance, watching cars go by and counting the lamp posts that zoomed past them.

I love you, Dean she told herself, sudden flashbacks of all the times they spent together repeating themselves in her brain like a film.

8 Hours Later

Sam yawned as he stretched every limb on his body; his arms swung in the air and his legs stretched out in almost every direction until he was all loosened up. His eyes hovered over quickly at his brother, noticing the duvet mangled around Dean's body and that his hair was messier than a stack of hay. He smirked slyly and shoved his feet into a pair of blue slippers that were lying close to his bed. He had an urge to drink coffee and luckily, the motel they were staying in happened to have a little kitchen. It had a coffee machine, including many other useful appliances though you had to almost kick them to make them function properly. As he walked over to the kitchen, something caught his attention, forcing him to stop in his tracks.

He noticed a note on the drawer with a word jotted on the front. He stepped closer to it to analyse it better, mumbling the word Dean as he read. At first, he was confused, but a second later it hit him. His head spun round and that's when he noticed that Eva's bed was empty and the covers had been neatened out.

"Uh, Dean..." Sam called for his brother as he picked the note up, gently unfolding it. As he read every word, his eyebrows seemed to furrow deeper and deeper.

"What, dude?" Dean managed to mumble from underneath the pillow that wrapped around his head. He pushed it further down so that no light could touch his face and that all sound was muffled by the pillow's stuffing. "What?" He asked again, noticing Sam wasn't replying. "You're gonna seriously make me get out of bed this early in the morning?" He grunted, reluctantly lifting himself up from the bed and rubbing his only-just opened eyes. He gave his hair a quick ruffle and wiped his palms on his face in an attempt to wake up. He glanced over at Sam and watched him as he scanned what seemed to be sentences written on a piece of paper. "What the hell's that?" He lowered his eyebrows, his tone of voice showing nervousness.

Sam looked into Dean's eyes and for a moment, he was clueless as to what to say next. "It's Eva." He said, his face completely blank and expressionless. Something was wrong, terribly wrong and Dean was quick to sense it.

Dean's eyes immediately gaped and instinctively, his head shot round to face Eva's bed, noticing too it was empty and that the drawers where her clothes had once occupied were all open and unfilled. "No." He stood up and stomped towards Sam, snatching the paper out of his hands grasp in irritation. As soon as his green eyes landed on the first sentence, that's when his face completely dropped.

"She's gone, Dean." Sam mumbled as he watched his brother's expression change from anger to sadness in a matter of seconds.