The Truth of How I Feel

by shallowdweller

An experiment. I have thought endlessly about how Patrick Jane's feelings must have changed over the course of the series. I'd love to explore it in depth, but who has the time? Would I be able to capture those moments where something changed, though? One by one, like jewels in a necklace? We shall see. If you like drabbles, tell me what you think.

1. It's not as bad as it looks

The chapter title quote tells what part of the episode is being explored.

Starting from the beginning of the pilot episode.

If you do not clearly remember the episode and have no access to the video, you can refresh your memory and provide some context by checking out the mentalist episode scripts at the Springfield!Springfield! site.

I do not own The Mentalist. I make no money from this.

chapter 1: "It's not as bad as it looks..."

The guilty man on the floor. His wife holding the gun. I should have known she would choose vengeance. It brought no comfort. My fault.

And Lisbon's eyes are accusing me.

I never read the handbook when I signed up. How much trouble have I caused by inciting the victim's mother to kill the man who abused and murdered their daughter? Enough to get me fired? Enough to get Lisbon fired?

She may never forgive me for that.

It bothers me that losing her good will matters more, in this moment, than how this affects my hunt for Red John.