Kate steeled herself as she turned the ignition and put the car into reverse. When she pulled out onto the road she glanced one more time at the man that was now Jack. Seeing Jack again had been so hard, especially in his apparent condition. What had happened to the strong confident leader? Where now was the man who faced fear with a count to five and then foraged on through whatever lay ahead. Where had her Jack gone?
He yelled out to her that they had to go back. Back to the island they had crashed on and been rescued from three and a half years ago. At this Kate's insides churned. She wanted desperately to heed his advice, if only to bring the Jack she knew and loved back. But she also knew there wouldn't be any returning, they could never go back, they weren't meant to and the island would no longer have them. So Kate did what she had always done best, she ran. Pressing her foot on the gas she ran from Jack, from the island's memory, and from herself.
As she turned onto the lonely highway leading away from the airport, Kate felt her resolve crumble. Tears slid down her cheeks and her throat cracked with sobs. Twice on her return trip she almost turned back. But she knew that wouldn't make things any better. In fact she would be making things worse, she would be giving in to what couldn't be and leaving the one thing in this world that she knew was right, that gave her comfort. When she pulled into the driveway of the small ranch style house, she had composed herself with the thought, that what lay behind that front door was where she was meant to be.
Opening the front door she knew that she must have looked something awful. Her eyes were sure to be swollen with traces of unshed tears. Her cheeks would be rosy and tearstained. She cursed herself for wearing makeup, knowing that it would no longer be in its place. What did it matter what she looked like when she saw Jack again. He had seen her at her worst; face-down in the mud, the island humidity playing havoc with her curls. But she had wanted to look nice, too look well and look stable. So she had blown out her hair and put on eyeliner, mascara and a small amount of blush, hoping to deceive him, but knowing she would only be deceiving herself. She entered the house knowing if she had to, she could and would lie about her appearance, but praying that she wouldn't have to.
She got her wish. As she placed her purse down on the foyer table she glanced into the living room. The TV was on flashing the late evening news to an unconscious audience. He lay on the couch, as he had almost every night now for three years. He slept soundly with his arm dangling off the side near a half empty bottle. She walked over to the TV hitting the power button and then over to the couch, placing herself on the edge by his side. She looked at him sadly and softly swept his hair from his face. She wasn't afraid of waking him, she knew he was out and would remain that way until the early morning. At which point he would then stumble down the hall and into their bedroom.
This was their routine. Every night she would go to bed alone and sleep restlessly until she would feel him slide under the sheets and envelop her in his arms, whispering his apologies for not coming to bed earlier. She didn't want to blame him for this. He worked hard to give her a life and a house. It wasn't easy for him to live this way. She did her best to hide her feelings but she was lonely and he wasn't the person she wished he was. Kate was sure he knew this and thus their routine had remained unchanged over the past three years.
Getting up from the couch she left him and wandered down the hall towards the bedrooms. She stopped by the first open door on the right and stood in the doorway looking into the dark room. She didn't make to enter the room right away incase perhaps its occupant was asleep, however she was sure he was not and looking to the small bed in the corner proved her right. There he sat quietly watching out the window. When he heard her step to enter the room he turned towards her and smiled.
"Mommy" he exclaimed as he clumsily scrambled out from under his comforters and out of his bed towards her. When he reached her, she bent down allowing him to wrap his little arms around her neck. As she lifted him, he asked, "Mommy, where'd you go?" Kate answered him simply, "Just out for a bit, baby." "Now Davy, why aren't you in bed sleeping?" David shrugged his shoulders. Kate didn't really need to know the answer, in truth she already knew. David never slept when he knew Kate wasn't at home. And if she left while he was, he was always up waiting for her when she returned, wondering where she had gone.
"Alright kiddo let's get you back in bed." As she tucked him in and silently watched him fall asleep she couldn't help but wonder at his appearance. David was a dead ringer for his mother, he always had been since the moment he entered her life almost three years ago. In fact with curly dark hair and freckles running across his nose, everyone always said they couldn't see a single speck of his father in him. But Kate knew otherwise. Every time David grabbed her hand or when he looked up at her with his dark brown eyes, Kate knew. She knew that what everyone said wasn't true, that within her little boy held just the perfect amount of his father.