Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto, and I never will, but as long as I have this disclaimer up here, I can right as many Naruto fics as I want. So that's a good thing ^^
Summary – After an incident, the pain, the loneliness, the deceit, the crying, shatter Naruto. Now he wants to make everyone happy, and what better way to make them happy then to rid them of himself? After the attempt fails, Naruto isolates himself, thinking a fearing that everyone is against him, that they hate him, and that he is just a pain in there side. How can team 7 and a few others take Naruto out of this depression? Or worse…what if he does something horrible before they can?
By the way this takes place after the chuunin exams, and that's it. Other then that, this story does NOT follow the story-line of Naruto.
"Speaking"
thoughts
other peoples writing
Flashback
*~*~* Shift in time or scene*~*~*
Shattered
By: Morgri
I stood there hopeless…it was there first time this had happened. I actually felt like…I was giving up. I looked down; both my friends lay there unconscious. What happened? It was me? Is this why they hated me? T-that wasn't fair, he took me by surprise! That darn thing inside of me, he took control of everything! My mind, my body, my spirit… my soul, he took it and used it against me! I lost to myself, and something bad happened. I-I didn't k-kill them did I? I felt tears run down my cold cheeks; they were… my friends weren't they?
I could have told them, then they could have stopped me… they could have killed me. It would have been better that way, right? If I were dead… guh, why are these tears coming? I've been alone this whole time right, why did this m-monster have to enter me!? Stop sobbing! Stop sobbing! They hated me anyway… but there not dead! One of them is moving…what should I do? What should I do!?)
What's right, right? Who cares about me, I guess this was the reason they hate me, I-I did this. I almost killed them. Seeing there bodies, there bloodied bodies, are they alive? I'll carry them to the hospital… they'll be alright, right!?
There I did it; I took them to the hospital. I wasn't welcomed there, I know it, I saw it in them. There cold stares, the ones I've always gotten… I-I'm so tired of those. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Can't you stop, do you want be gone that bad? I'm just a person; I'm a person… or… a monster? That's what I am aren't I? A monster! That's why they hate me, that's why they'll always hate me… because I'm me… and not… me…
Is that a bad thing? Me? I always that I was kind…I tried to be. I never hurt the other kids, not when I was young at least. They… hurt me. They called me names, they beat me up… and what did the adults do? I never saw them do anything… I was just alone… alone like I am now. Is that a bad thing? To be alone, if I'm alone they don't stare at me like they do, if I'm alone I'm not insulted, I'm not screamed, I'm not hurt, if I'm alone, I'm ok… but… I don't want to be alone.
I h-hate being alone! Err, why me! Why me! I'm tired of it; I don't want to be alone. Why do I hide it then? To get attention, it never worked! Never once at all, but… t-that isn't a bad thing, right? I-I'm the bad thing aren't I?
I-I never thought about that. Maybe it's just me; I deserve to be, don't I? I mean, they always told me that didn't they? Kakashi-sensai never objected…neither did Sasuke, nor for that matter Sakura. Not even Iruka-sensai, I guess it was…me. Not the fox – no not the fox, rather Naruto… me. Me, just me.
But I know what will make them real happy! Maybe if I do this I won't see cold stares anymore, maybe I'll see smile… even if it's just in my dreams. Yeah! Wow! Let me go get something to do it with! A kunai! That's perfect, I will do it with a kunai… but it won't… hurt right? I mean I've heard that it's a great remedy! Yes, there right! It probably is, I'm always wrong, aren't I?
But that's good, because, I won't be here anymore to not be right anyway. Now, where can I cut at…I heard it's good at the wrists so let me cut there first. OUCH! That hurt… but it feels… so… good! So relieving… so nice. You know, maybe me being gone won't be that bad after all. This feels so great, how bout when I'm gone? It will be perfect, me not here to bother the world, it will just be me… alone, forever.
Goodbye Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi-sensai. Goodbye, I hope you'll be as happy as I am… n-now… wow I'm becoming so sleepy, maybe I'll sleep while, tonight, maybe I'll see well every night knowing that I'm no longer…hated.
G-Goo-Goodbye…
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Morgri- I would of loved to end the story there… but I want to still continue :p
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A girl paced back and forth accordingly. Just hours before she and her teammate had awoken. From what they didn't know, but it seemed like minor injuries nonetheless, for they woke up feeling refreshed and better then normal. It was odd. It was like something helped them…for Sakura felt much stronger and faster then usual; apparently Sasuke felt the same way.
There was only one thing wrong... one person was missing. But this person wasn't a person who had run away, rather, a person who did something much more drastic. "Why… did he do this? All of a sudden he just decides to do something like that! That stu-pid" The pink haired girl paused at the end. "I-I…" A tear ran down her eye.
Naruto wasn't like this! He was always happy, he was a person who loved his life wasn't he? "Why did he do this?" Sakura muttered angrily as she began to sob. "I'm glad he survived, but… he's different. It's… just not right, the way he is acting. He won't even say anything to me! WHY? Why did he do this?"
"Because he was scared," came the reply from a calm dark headed boy. His name Sasuke, who while not showing it pondered on why Naruto would do such a thing.
"Scared?" Sakura spoke sarcastically, "Since when has Naruto been scared of anything?" She queried silently guiding her speech toward Sasuke.
"I don't know…" The simply reply was said.
"Did you see him!?" She began to sob once again, "He looked so different. He looked hopeless; he looked so defenseless, so lonely, so…scared." Haruna Sakura stopped. She suddenly became pale. He did… look scared.
A dark haired girl by the name of Hyuuga Hinata caught Sakura's attention, "Naruto-Kun!" She heard a fearful tone in her voice.
Sakura stopped the girl, which in turn surprised Hinata, "You… don't want to see him," Sakura murmured sadly. She clearly knew the feelings Hinata had towards the boy. Hinata flinched; tears began to run down her eyes. Sakura knew what Hinata was feeling; she knew that Hinata was worried sick about the boy, but… what would happen to her if she saw him? They didn't need another depressed ninja.
"Ok…" Hinata tried to hold back her tears.
"It's ok to cry," Sakura hugged the girl; Sakura knew what she was feeling. Horrid images flashed in her mind. What happened just a day ago felt like it just happened again and again in her mind. Sakura didn't like it, each time she remembered it more and more guilt began to plague her, what happened if Naruto never woke up, what happened if he was dead? The doctor had given no word yet, but he surely would soon.
Flashback
"Naruto!" Sakura called opening the door to his home. She and Sasuke were sent to his house because he didn't show up for training, which was highly unusual because he was usually the first one there. "Naruto!" Sasuke called hearing no reply, "That idiot," he snorted, "Sakura go see if he's in his room, how about it."
"Ok, Sasuke-kun," Sakura spoke spirited, she seemed quite refreshed ever since see woke up at the hospital. She couldn't remember why she was in the hospital though, that was odd. She slowly made her way threw his house, it was a lot messier then she'd actually imagined, but she couldn't blame him, he did live alone all his life, which was odd as well because he never did know his parents, in fact, none of Konoha did.
Sakura finally found Naruto's bedroom door. She opened it, "Naru…" She stopped seeing that he wasn't in there. She smirked for a second wondering what would be in his room, she slowly entered and walked toward a desk that stood right beside Naruto's unmade bed.
Apparently Naruto left never closed one of the draws. Sakura looked inside and found a bunch of papers; the most recently written on was of course the one on top. I wonder what he's written her, Sakura thought picking up the paper that was on top and began to read it.
I spy with my little eye…
A boy with blue eyes
Who even though he tries…
He fails…
I spy with my little eye…
Someone lost in memories
Who not strong rather weak…
And he fails
I Spy with my little eye
A burden to a town
A demon in the making…
Who fails…
I spy with my little eye…
A boy who has no hope
A fool with no purpose
Who always cries…
And I spy with my little…
The boy with no fire
No passion or desire
Who just…will…die…
Die… die alone…*
Strange, what's Naruto been writing? It almost sounds like he is referring to himself. A boy with blue eyes… hmm. Sakura pondered on what else he could be writing, though, she didn't dare to read anything else. That stuff was way too personal to be looking at. But then, what did it really matter? It was Naruto, Sakura was sure he wouldn't care.
Sakura, though, decided not to tamper with anymore of the things written by Naruto. They were far to depressing in her thoughts.
She decided that she was in his room enough for one day. She turned toward the door and there she saw him.
He looked at her… looked at her as he was trying to hide something. Fear and confusion both were apparent on his face. Sakura gasped, she had been looking threw his stuff and she didn't even notice that he was sitting right there. "Naruto, you scar…," she stopped, looking at him confused. He looked so light-headed, as if he were about to go to sleep… or something else.
"I'm sorry I was looking at your stuff, I never noticed you behind your door… Hey!? Are you listening to me! I'm trying to apologize, why do you look so light-heade…," She then saw it. Blood, blood ran down both his hands, so much that they had covered his hands and now left almost a large pool of blood on both his clothes and his bedroom floor. Naruto just slipped right into his own blood on the floor, as if he was never awake… as if he had even saw or listened to her the whole time she was in there. He was just… unconscious…
Die… die alone…? Sakura screamed.
Reality
Sakura was now crying with Hinata. She knew not whether she was hugging Hinata to comfort Hinata or to comfort herself. He was alone? Why didn't they notice that? They were Naruto's teammates they were supposed to know how he felt; they were supposed to know everything about the boy! Yet, they just let him almost commit suicide. It was pure luck that Kakashi sent Sasuke and her to his house.
This is why she hated hospitals, so much pain, so much depression. And now, there teammate was in this hospital. Naruto's poem ran through her head again and again. How did they not notice his pain? It just wasn't fair. The boy's past was evident in there lives, but he never acted as if he were sad… he always acted as if he were… happy.
"I-I," Hinata tried to stop sobbing. The boy meant way too much to the girl. He had… been there for her; he made her feel as if she changed. All threw the chuunin exams Naruto was there for her. He made Hinata feel like she was special. And now, she couldn't be there for Naruto. What kind of person was she?
Why couldn't she stop crying? "I want to see him," She sobbed, "I want to be there for him, like he was there… for me!" The girl was certainly aware of her feelings for the blonde haired boy, yet she never could manage to tell him. Now, he was in this hospital! And now, Hinata might never again have the chance to tell Naruto of her feelings.
She tried to loosen her grip of Sakura, but she wouldn't let go, "You can't, they won't let us…"
"What," Hinata sniffed, "Didn't you already see him?"
"No… we have to wait until he wakes up…"
"Oh…"
"That Naruto won't be asleep much longer," interrupted Sasuke.
"No, he won't he is awake now" A doctor interrupted.
"WHAT!" Screamed Sakura, "Let's go see him!"
-End Chapter 1-
Well, there's chapter one… I wonder what will happen when Naruto goes into see him? Next chapter up soon! R&R