Heeeello guys. This story is gonna be sad and deep and whatever you call it, but it will get more romantic as it goes on so enjoy c;
Disclaimer: Nah, I don't own Death Note. But I would love to own Light if you know what I... I'll just stop now XD
L Lawliet was quite a happy person when he was a child, but he never had any friends, and he usually gotten bullied. He had a strong personality and tried to ignore the hurtful things the other children living at the Orphanage said. The children called him things like 'socially retarded, a freak, a disgrace of a human being, a disgusting bookworm with no friends,' and much more things about him, which made his self esteem decrease little by little, but he still tried his best to be happy. The rants became worse when the children became older, and he became the lowest of the low. If you were angry, he was the one you would yell at, or if you and your friends want to bug someone for shits and giggles, you would go to him.
"Go kill yourself, you lonely faggot." "You will never be loved by anyone." "You'll die a perverted virgin."
He was definitely not happy anymore; he actually showed no emotion whatsoever because he had no more tears to cry with, and no ego to rely on. L spent many sleepless nights because his mind forced him to revisit the hateful comments said towards him that day, and with every comment said, it roughly pierced into his soul; making it writhe. When his soul was finally dried out, it refilled itself with not happy emotions, but self loathing ones and with every new hurtful word said to him, it seeped into his soul, increasing his self loathing feeling.
L locked his bathroom door while looking at the small metal blade he was holding in his hand. 'Go cut yourself, you worthless piece of shit.'
L slightly cringed at the thought of the hurtful comment he heard a couple hours ago, and thought that he will take that advice. Who would care anyway?
L sat down on the closed toilet seat and nervously sighed. The words 'Go cut yourself' kept replaying in his head, like it was taunting him.
"I am disgusting, so who would care? No one would ever want to see my body anyway." L mumbled to himself while rolling up his sleeve, which revealed his pale, forearm. L grabbed the blade off his sink counter and placed the blade end vertically onto his arm.
"Cunt."
Slash.
"Nobody."
Slash.
"Faggot."
Slash.
L kept cutting his forearm and spewing out terrible things about himself. His tears felt like they were burning his skin and the feeling increased more with every new cut he made. L started to enjoy the self pain he was causing himself, and he wanted more. He wanted to feel his skin sting and the blood leek all over his arm. He wanted to cut himself all over his body, and feel the burning sensation of his tears while they ran down his cheeks.
He cut deeper; making more blood seep out, more tears fall and more feeling of the pleasurable sting he was causing himself. He kept cutting like if it were an addiction that he could never get enough of. L wanted to stop because he KNEW that this was terrible and dangerous but he couldn't; it was his drug. He wanted to scar himself to remind that the past is REAL, and you could never run away from it.
When he was done scarring his arm, he placed the bloody blade back onto the sink counter and got a towel. L placed the towel onto his scarred arm and watched the blood stain through its white fabric.
'Cut your wrists and slash your thighs. Show no emotion because everything's a lie. Loathe yourself and pray that you'll die. Watch your blood seep and your family cry.'
L took the blade and washed its blood off with warm water. He'll save his thighs to cut another time. He might even cut the quote he made along his leg to remind himself that he is disgusting.
L has been cutting constantly, and it's the only thing that he enjoyed, L enjoyed it more than reading a good book. With every new comment said faced to him, he creates a new cut and with every cut, he looks along his leg to see his quote.
'Cut your wrists and slash your thighs. Show no emotion because everything's a lie. Loathe yourself and pray that you'll die. Watch your blood seep and your family cry.'
No one will love him, and no one would care if he faded off of this world. Everyone thought that he was a worthless piece of shit that was just a burden. L thought the same way about himself but deep down, there was still a tiny glimpse of happiness in his withered soul and it screamed that it needed love and compaction. The tiny feeling would grow and overcome all the loathe feelings and fill his soul with happiness if only he could be loved and cared by someone. The only person that kept him alive was Watari. Watari was like his father and he did care for him, but it wasn't enough. L wanted someone to fall in love with him and kill themselves to save L. He wanted someone that would have feelings for him that they couldn't even explain because their love is too strong. He wanted them to quiver in pleasure when they touched and kissed. But L kept telling himself that it would never happen because he is ugly and worthless but the thing that L didn't know is that there was someone waiting for him that would love him to pieces. They would kill themselves for L and do whatever he desires. L was clueless about this fact and when they meet, the tiny glimpse of happiness in his soul will disintegrate his self loathing feelings and pump his soul back with love and happiness. His scars will fade away, and his past will never be on his mind ever again.
I tried my best to be descriptive on the first chapter c; OH and btw if you are wondering; I don't cut XD I just learned some facts about it online and shlit like that, lol...