She was never good with lonely. It was a feeling she felt all too well back at home. So that may be why she found herself walking towards the dark haired boy on the swings without a second thought. Maybe it was the way he avoided her gaze, finding the dusty ground more appealing than her own honey colored eyes. Whichever it may had been that had attracted her, she found one thing for certain: this boy was going to be her best friend. She didn't know how she knew, or even why the thought tossed itself into her mind, but she didn't care.
When he finally moved his gaze towards her, his grey eyes were wide in disbelief. It made her giggle a bit as she offered up her hand. He blinked at it a few times as if he couldn't distinguish a dream from reality before grasping her hand in his own.
It was at that moment, he stood up, and asked the very thing that would change their lives forever.
"Wanna be friends?"
As she nodded, his eyes lit up. To her, they resembled the night sky with millions of twinkling stars shining all at once. It was something she found herself getting lost in the longer she stared. She smiled along with him, feeling for the first time in awhile, truly happy.
Twenty-three years later, she walks down the aisle at her father's side, her face hidden away behind an ivory white lace veil. She smiled warmly, holding her bouquet in one hand and her father's arm in the other. Her eyes scanned the room, looking for the dark haired boy, well man now, in its sea.
Finally, a rush of relief hit her as she saw him standing in the front, smiling that warm smile that always set her heart fluttering about. His eyes shone brightly, making her smile widen. She really could get lost in the darkness of those eyes for the rest of her life.
She could feel his beautiful eyes dull as she walked passed him and it killed her inside. She was never meant to hurt him. He was her axis, the one thing that kept her world moving when nothing else would, yet here she was, fully aware of the feelings he had held for her all these years, and still marrying another man. A tear fell down her covered cheek, dripping down like rain. It was followed by another and another, not seeming to stop even as she reached the altar. They only fell harder from her eyes.
She truly was the world's worst friend.
As her soon-to-be husband removed the veil from her face, she forced a rather convincing smile as she made herself stare into his plain brown eyes. She really hated herself as she listed off her vows, sealing the deal with a kiss that felt nothing like she had remembered.
She'd dated this guy for years, and it was like a fairytale come true. She loved him. So why was she feeling like this was all a huge mistake? She spared a glance at her best friend, feeling her heart breaking a million times over as she caught his eye.
She wanted to run over there and hold him, whisper in his ears that she's there, that she would never leave him, but she couldn't.
There was nothing in the world she could say to make it better, not after today. He'd just have to move on from her and find someone else. She hoped he would, despite the way her heart screamed and shouted at her that this was all wrong.
She couldn't even face him. Instead, she asked one of the guest, an attractive silver haired man in his late twenties, to talk to him. She knew it was pathetic and weak, but what could she even do? She's a married woman now, so it's about time she acted like it.
As she walked out the double doors of the church, she had one thought pass through her mind.
She really was the worst.