Infintie Loops Christmas War by ThanatosTiger
Danny Phantom/Miraculous Ladybug/Channel Awesome
Christmas War snip 1
Danny and Adrien were sitting at one of the latter's branch's various bakeries, happily eating some sweets. Despite the oncoming holidays, they were in good spirits.
"Hey Danny, how about we invite a few people for our holiday plans?" Adrien asked with a mischievous grin.
"Sounds fun. No one should be left out on an anti-Christmas rampage. Who do you got in mind?
"I didn't have anyone in mind, but it's a big tree. There's gotta be someone Yuletired of Christmas."
The two loopers laughed, as a brunette girl walked up to them.
"Hey. If you two hate Christmas as much as I do, you'll want to listen to this. There's a looper out there who's obsessed with Christmas. Who destroyed an entire planet with his love for it." She spat.
Danny and Adrien's expressions kept switching from horrified, and angered.
"Who is he?" Adrien asked.
"Nostalgia Critic. He asked me and several other loopers from his branch to send out invitations to his party."
"Why'd he send you if he loves Christmas and you hate it?" Danny accused.
"He's an idiot. Now if you want loopers who hate this stupid holiday, start with Batman. Quite a few adaptations of him hate Christmas, and it'll be funny to see his idol fighting against him."
Adrien and Danny smirked. "Thank you miss-" Adrien began.
"Nostalgia Chick. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way.
"Alright Danny, we've got a new plan, a good start, and hey! Where's our food!"
Miraculous Ladybug/Danny Phantom/DC
Christmas War Snip 2
Danny flew across the Gotham night sky as he carried his partner, Chat Noir. As they arrived at Wayne Manor, they landed at the front door, and rang the doorbell. The door opened automatically, Alfred standing in front of the entrance.
"Can we talk to Batman?" Adrien asked.
Alfred sent out a Ping, which the two nonnative loopers responded with in turn.
"Very well, Master Bruce will be with with you shortly. Come inside and I'll fix you up whatever you wish to drink."
"Can I have a Kiwi Fudge milkshake?" Danny asked.
"Of course, Master Fenton."
It didn't take long for Bruce to come upstairs. He sat across from the duo in the den.
"What brings you here?" The Dark Knight asked.
"We heard you're not the biggest fan of Christmas, and want you to join us in attacking Nostalgia Critic's Christmas party." Danny said.
"We feel the holidays are a bit Nosty." Adrien added.
Bruce looked at the two loopers and said one word.
"No."
"Huh?" The two nonnative loopers exclaimed.
"My son Dick is throwing a party himself, and I want to spend time with my family and friends." Bruce stated
'Maybe I could have said that a bit nicer.' Bruce thought as he looked at the harsh glares.
"I understand that the holidays are terrible for you, that everything you see and hear you want to break, rip, smash, just destroy it." Batman paused, words for comfort completely absent.
I'll have Alfred make you one to go." Batman said to Danny.
Danny shook his head as he and Adrien flew out the door.
Duckapus
[Danny Phantom/Fairly Oddparents]
Christmas War snip 3
"I hear you're going after Christmas. I want in."
Danny raised an eyebrow, "Sure thing, but I thought you liked Christmas."
Timmy looked sheepish, "I've got two reasons. The first is that Shadow the Hedgehog's a Christmas fan, and I've never gotten the chance to fight him before. The second is gonna sound petty without context, but I just can't stand Deck the Halls."
"... yeah, I'm not even gonna ask."
"Probably for the best. Anyway, I'm gonna go see if Dib and the Irkens are willing to help. Call me when we get closer to the main event."
QUOTE="Duckapus, post: 42020095, member: 318121"]Christmas War prep
[Fairly Oddparents/Invader Zim]
Christmas War snip 4
"... and that's about the gist of it. You guys want in?"
Dib grinned "oh, very much so. Zim's crazy scheme in baseline pretty much ruined Christmas for me."
"Indeed," Zim growled, "The unbridled commercialism of our Loop's holiday season sickens me. Honestly, how hard is it to keep the spirit of goodwill alive!? THINK OF THE HISTORY YOU'RE JUST THROWING AWAY!"
"Yeah, he gets like that sometimes," Tak noted after an awkward silence, "Eh, not like I've got anything else to do."
"It has been a while since I've taken an active role in crushing the dreams of that foolish boy."
"I'll go prep my Krampus Mech."
At the incredulous stares, Gaz added, "What? I've got a life outside of video games."
Timmy wisely chose not to consider the circumstances of how one would get a Mech based on the Anti-Santa, "This is gonna be a bigger turnout than I was expecting! I wonder if the Eds would be interested in selling tickets..."
In which Bitters seems to have a grudge on the Critic, Zim is an occasional traditionalist (most likely for his own amusement), and Timmy and Gaz are preparing for the inevitable overblown battle in their own ways.[/QUOTE]
Duckapus
[Fairly Oddparents/Phineas and Ferb]
Christmas War snip 5
To the Anti-Christmas Alliance,
Hey there, how's it going? Not that you can answer since, you know... this is a note.
Anyway, I'm gonna be out of town for a while, so I won't be able to join in. Which I totally would, since I am officially recognized as hating Christmas. I got it notarized and everything. Even though I decorate. And give out gifts. I-it's hatred in the technical sense, alright!?
Regardless, even though I can't be there in person I still wanted to help out. So, I left the Inator storage room I put in the back of my fridge unlocked. Feel free to use and modify them at your leisure.
Maniacally yours,
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, Looping Evil Scientist
PS: Help yourself to some food, too. Can't let it go to waste after all.
PPS: If this is Perry the Platypus, I'm in Monte Carlo. Expect tropical evil for the next few weeks.
Timmy grinned, "Well that's convenient."
Danny Phantom/Red vs Blue
Christmas War snip 6
Danny was flying across Amity Park when his ghost sense started up. Diving down, he saw a white ghost in a military uniform trying and failing to hit the Box Ghost with his sniper rifle.
"STOP! FUCKING! MOVING!"
"I haven't moved since we started this brawl. But I, the Box Ghost, shall destroy you and your terrible aim."
Fighting off his headache, Danny pulled the Fenton Thermos out of his Pocket and aimed it at the Box Ghost, who was instantly sucked in. The other ghost looked at Danny and grinned.
Thanks for the help. I'm Church, from the Red vs Blue loops."
"Danny Fenton, the Anchor. Your friend Tucker came by a while ago."
"No way! You're that kid planning to wreck that Christmas party! I'm in."
Danny inwardly grimaced at Church joining them, but they needed members, so he nodded.
"Any reason why?"
"I really hate Christmas and want to drop a few tons of smoal on the asshole"
"Smoal?"
(Awesomedude17)
(Angry Video Game Nerd x Red Vs Blue)
Christmas War Snip 7
"Christmas is an okay holiday, but damn do I play shit during those days, so I'm joining your side, as a fuck you to shitty Christmas games."
"Amen brother." Alpha held out his hand, which the Angry Video Game Nerd responded with a shake.
"So, who's on team Santa?"
"Nolstalgia Critic."
"Oh ho, we're so fucked."
"Why?"
"Trust me, you do not want to know the bullshit he can do while hopped up on Christmas."
[Danny Phantom/Miraculous Ladybug/Pokémon]
Christmas War snip 8
Adrien smiled as he refocused the binoculars. They had finally found Team Rocket! As soon as he transformed, he extended his baton, polevaulted into the air and landed with a bow in front of the trio.
"Prepare for trouble, are you all Awake?"
"We're not rhyming, Adrien." Danny said as he flew towards the group.
"We're all feelin' loopy, Cat Twoip, but don't snag our motto. Dat's something we copyright every loop."
"Fine," Adrien said pouting.
Danny then landed next to Adrien. "Now that we're all talking, I'd like to offer a team up. Me and Adrien are planning to attack the Nostalgia Critic's party. We'd like if you join us."
"Now why would we want to? Creeping to the Critic's Christmas celebration couldn't be further then the credo of this Team Rocket crew." Jessie argued.
"Why would you even want to in the first place?" James added.
"We're not big fans of Christmas. And from what we heard, you're pretty similar in that."
Adrien said.
The Team Rocket Trio then entered into a huddle.
"Why'd dey t'ink we'd be 'gainst Christmas? Our one an' only goal is to get that twoip's Pikachu under our own Douglas Fir!"
"Hmm. We did tie up Santa Claus because Jessie believed he stole her doll."
"Oh please, that was ages ago. And even if I did hold a grudge against that goody-two-shoes I wouldn't attack someone's party!"
"If I can interject," Adrien began. "Nostalgia Critic is a maniac for Christmas, pulling off nearly impossible feats just to prove his love. However, I know you can help beat him. His weapons and rage can be dealt with a few mechas. The electricity and explosions he can create are all things you've dealt with before. This guys nothing more than an Electrode, which with your help, we can defeat with a Critic-al hit."
The trio paused, then responded with,
"We're all in, Cat Twerp!"
Christmas War snip 9
Phineas & Ferb
Phineas stood in the middle of the yard, puzzling over the various incomplete blueprints.
"Hmm, maybe if we installed a hydraulic engine, or tried to make a giant flux capacitor, bit difficult but I'm sure we can figure that out."
Phineas then looked up to see Ferb with his own blueprints looking concerned.
"What is it, Ferb?"
Ferb quickly handed Phineas the blueprints. Phineas studied them as intensely as he could. "The Christmas Tree robots you designed look great Ferb. I can't see anything wrong with them." Ferb then motioned for him to turn it around. Phineas' eyes widened as he scanned the back.
"A bunch of loopers are planning to ruin someone's Christmas party. We've got to stop them! And that is what we're gonna do on Christmas! In the meantime, let's build these robots!"
[Spongebob Squarepants]
Christmas War snip 10
Spongebob smiled as he donned the Quickster's costume. This Christmas he would play the role of Santa for all of Bikini Bottom. He had already asked everybody in town what they wanted for Christmas, bought & gift wrapped every one of them, now he just needed to create a delivery route & deliver them on the 24th. He was so excited! His smile grew wider as he pictured everybody smiling as they opened their presents and singing Christmas carols. Putting on a Santa hat and beard, he raced across Bikini Bottom, taking stock of every road, street and highway. Running over to Sandy's treedome, he couldn't help but overhear his friend's ranting.
"Ah oughta hogtie those loopin' scoundrels and show them some Christmas pain! Those yellow bellied Scrooges pickin' on someone havin' a Christmas party."
Alarmed, Spongebob removed his various attire, pulled a fishbowl out of his Pocket and ran inside the treedome.
"Sandy! Is what you said true?"
Sandy nodded "Yep, Danny, Adrien, and a bunch of other loopers are attacking a Christmas party. I've been practicing my Karate so I can take them down."
Spongebob frowned. "Then I have no time to lose!"
Redonning his Quickster outfit, he ran outside, delivering presents in the span of a second.
"Let's go save that party!"
Duckapus
[Fairly Oddparents]
Christmas War Snip 11
Dark Laser stared down at Timmy like he'd just pulled his own head off.
"So let me get this straight; you want me to help you help your cousin destroy Christmas."
"Yep."
"By fighting a semi-onmicidal robot while you and that wizard kid with old man hair are fighting a half-alien bioweapon and a flying jewel thief, respectively."
"Pretty much."
The galactic conqueror raised an eyebrow, "And why, exactly, are you coming to me for this?"
Timmy sighed, "Of my usual heavy hitters; Wanda and Trixie like Christmas too much to go along with the plan, Poof hasn't been born yet, Billy doesn't exist at the moment, and Cosmo's just overkill."
"Fair enough. Call me when it gets past the planning phase."
Duckapus
[Super Mario/Rayman Raving Rabbids/Marvel]
Christmas War snip 12
Bowser looked around the table at his current guests to gauge their reactions to his proposition. Waluigi and Diddy Kong seemed to be sold on the idea. The Toad Brigade ranged from confused to cautious to (as usual) asleep. Deadpool was silent for once, his masked face betraying nothing. and Daisy...
"So, let me get this straight; a bunch of Loopers want to ruin Christmas for varying reasons. You want to help stop them because you're kids will never let you hear the end of it. And you came to us because no one else is awake. Did I miss anything?"
"Nope."
"Alright then, two questions. What's with all the Rabbids, and why is Deadpool here?"
Indeed, there were a large amount of Rabbids wandering around the castle, most of them carrying tools or machine parts.
"They've been showing up a lot since the new expansions, and since these ones seem to be good with machines I decided to put them to work. As for him..."
"Personal reasons." It was the first thing he'd said since the group had sat down.
"Yeah, that. So what do you say?"
Daisy took a minute to think it over, "... we're in."
Black Omochao
[Yo-kai Watch/Seaman]
Christmas War Snip 13
Seaman let out a content sigh, it wasn't often to have a Loop where he was so free as he was now, as a yo-kai and able to float at that, he just wanted to relax and enjoy his freedom…
"Seaman! Just the man-fish I wanted to see!" Inaho exclaimed, moving over to the floating human-faced fish, whom let out a sigh of annoyance before turning to her.
"Do I know you?"
"Of course you do! It's me, Inaho!" he just gave her a confused look at that answer, "Or Hailey, now, sometimes… we met in the tunnel!"
"… Oh yeah, now I remember," Seaman grunted before turning away from her, "I'm busy right now, please go away."
"But I wanted to talk to you about something! Come on! Please!" the purple-haired girl pleaded loudly, Seaman groaned, turning to her again.
"Okay, what is it?"
"I want you to help save the Nostalgia Critic's Christmas party!"
"… What?"
"Yeah, a bunch of no-fun jerks are planning to ruin it, and why? I don't know! But I don't want them to!" Inaho ranted, throwing her hands in the air, "I got Komasan and Komajiro to agree to help, bless their little hearts, but nobody else from my branch wants to get involved one way or the other! Not even USApyon! But I noticed you were here and thought you might be interested…?"
"… Why?" Seaman asked blandly, Inaho blinked with a confused look.
"Well… I did see a picture of you dressed like Santa once…"
"And because of that, you assume I care about Christmas?"
"… Don't you?" at this, Seaman took a deep breath.
"Let me tell you a few things about myself, I am the perpetually reincarnating form of an ancient pharaoh's son, while what exactly my time in Egypt entailed isn't exactly clear, I'm sure Christmas was not a part of my life then, my life in your present time is almost entirely spent inside a fish tank, nothing more, you know what Christmas is to me? Another day in the tank!" with a huff, Seaman turned away from the dejected Inaho, "I have no interest in getting involved with such a thing, so go away! I can't even imagine who would care enough to bother ruining this party anyway…"
"Oh, well a lot of people actually," Inaho muttered, thinking about who she had heard was on 'Team Scrooge,' "Like Timmy Turner–I think he started it, Danny, The Angry Video Game Nerd, Adri– "
"Wait!" Seaman interrupted, Inaho looked confused as the human-faced fish turned back to her, wide-eyed, "Did you say; 'The Angry Video Game Nerd?'"
"Um… yeah?" Inaho blinked at Seaman's sudden interest, the man-fish seemed to scowl for a moment, before nodding.
"Very well, count me in…"
"… You're going to help us save the party?"
"Yes."
"Awesome! I knew I could convince you!" Inaho cheered, Seaman just nodded again, a determined look in his eyes.
'Try to destroy me, will you Nerd? Well I'm going to show you why you should never mess with Seaman…' Seaman thought to himself, not noticing as Inaho prattled on about how fun the party would be.
Wookywok
[Garfield/Spongebob]
Christmas War snip 14
Garfield swallowed his bite of Krabby Patty. "So you're waging a war to save Christmas."
Spongebob nodded. "Yep."
"And you want me to fight on your side."
"Yeah, that's the basic gist of it."
Garfield laughed. "And what makes you think I'd fight on your side?"
"Well, from what I've heard, you absolutely love Christmas…"
Garfield placed the rest of his burger in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed. "You know what else I love? Not having to do anything for other people. Sorry Spongy, but unless there's something in it for me, I'm not interested."
Spongebob put his finger on his chin. "Hmm… What if I told you that if we don't win this war, there won't be any Christmas at all this loop?"
Garfield quirked an eyebrow. "Your point?"
"No Christmas means no celebrating, no decorations, and most importantly…"
Spongebob's eyes narrowed.
"No presents."
Garfield straightened up in his seat at that. He put on a serious expression. "Alright, I'm in."
Spongebob perked up at his response. "Great to hear! You made the right choice."
"Yeah, yeah, right choice and all that. I just want to make one thing clear."
"What?"
"I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for me."
Wookywok
[Garfield]
Christmas War snip 15
"You agreed to WHAT?"
"I told you, Jon. I'm helping to fight a war to save Christmas."
"You're fighting a WAR?"
"Helping to fight a war. I'm not doing it all by my lonesome."
"But… still! You're fighting. In a war."
"Oh, come on. It's a Christmas war. It'll probably just be a snowball fight or something. Besides, it'll probably end one of two ways."
John sighed. "And they would be?"
"Either both sides will reconcile and valuable lessons will be learned by all, or the loop will crash in spectacular fashion. Either way, it's going to be quite a sight."
(Awesomedude17)
(Admin Shenanigans)
Christmas War snip 16
Santa Claus put on a pair of dinky glasses and watched a terminal intensely.
It was rare for him to get out of his gift shop but with one particular person involved with what he was watching, he knew what he'd have to do.
"The Nolstalgia Critic is involved with Christmas, isn't he?" Nemesis asked with a roll of her eyes.
"Yes. When the dust settles, I'll be sure to make them all know what they done, provided they haven't learned any lessons."
Nemesis sighed. "I'm going to check on Ihy."
Santa nodded as the Christmas War was beginning to form.
Masterweaver
[Danny Phantom/Miraculous Ladybug/RWBY]
Christmas War snip 17
"A ghostly apparition and a black cat." Weiss leveled a flat look on the two teenage boys who stood before her. "Has all hallow's eve come early?"
Danny Fenton chuckled wryly. "Actually, Adrien and I are here to talk to you about something. See, there's this christmas party coming up-"
"Nondescript winter holiday."
"...what?"
"Nondescript winter holiday," Weiss repeated. "Recent chibi expansion. Chibi loops aren't strictly baseline, but they are a reliable variant of Remnant, so some details tend to leak over."
Adrien rolled his eyes. "Right. 'Nondescript winter holiday.' Because calling it christmas just isn't politically correct."
Weiss crossed her arms. "There's Kwanzaa and Hanukkah and Yuletide and Bodhi Day and Saint Lucia's Day and Pancha Ganapati and Boxing Day-"
"Look, is there a decorated pine tree and lots of gift exchanging?"
"Yes."
"Then it's christmas," Adrien insisted. "Which brings us back to the point: Christmas is terrible."
"Ah," Weiss said calmly. "This is about your grinch war."
"We prefer to think of ourselves as team scrooge," Danny corrected.
"Scrooge was a money miser that hated humanity in general for being so wasteful and thought greed drove the world. You two, at least, don't seem to be entirely misanthropic." Weiss quirked a brow. "I assume your ladyfriends do not know of these plans?"
Adrien winced.
Danny rolled his eyes. "Look, point is: you're a rich lonely girl who knows how much of this is bullcrap, and the holidays had to have been horrible for you. Want to join us or what?"
Weiss took a breath, letting her hand fall to her hip. "My grandfather was the son of a miner in the declining kingdom of Mantle," she mused. "He taught himself how to fight. He led expeditions, dangerous ones, to find new Dust mines. He scraped together crews and wealth, building a company reknowned for both quality and trustworthiness, and overturning the economic downfall of his home. This cost him his life, in the end; even though he eventually settled down to start a family, the Dust buildup in his lungs would kill him. He gave everything for those he loved."
Her eyes hardened. "His name was Nicholas."
Adrien and Danny shared a look.
Weiss cleared her throat. "I am aware, gentlemen, that you are opposed to the trappings of christmas-the incessant songs, the shallow and false sympathy covering corporate greed, the way you will be called out for having even the slightest outburst of negativity. I too know how grating this can be; even without a holiday to base it around, Jacques has demonstrated his devotion to appearance and wealth beyond any other. These issues come up for you once a year, but for me they made the majority of my childhood. Believe me, I understand your ire-perhaps moreso than even you do."
She gestured around at the courtyard of Beacon. "And yet, I also have seen what this holiday, and its many related, are meant to truly be. The giving of self to all as an expression of family, friendship, all forms of love, the reaffirmation of bonds through generosity. Christmas may not be in our baseline, only flickering in and out as so many loop variable factors do, but Ruby Rose finds herself overjoyed when it visits Remnant, and the loopers of this world with her."
"So..." Danny crossed his arms. "What, are you saying you're going to stop us?"
"Hardly. Your little vendetta has been repeated many times in the baseline of many worlds. In fact, the Krampus has existed in christmas myth for longer than either grinch or scrooge; you are simply following ancient footsteps in your own way. However, I feel I should remind you of a few things."
The girl withdrew Myrtenaster, lowering its point to the ground. As she spoke, glyphs radiated out from beneath her, spectral forms of humans and Grimm and even more slowly taking shape in the increasing swirl of snow that swung her ponytail around her impassive, scarred gaze.
"I have access to wealth and knowledge from across the multiverse. I have trained with the most powerful of jedi, and learned magic as the sorceress supreme. I have an amoral thief, a sociopathic Sakura Syndrome recoveree, and an egomaniac powermonger as regular loopers whom I must handle. I have access to loyal kaiju, legions of robotic soldiers, and weaponry that you have seen only in the most terrible of tales. I have been the general of galactic armies, I have been the lady of frost, and I have been the goddess of death. I know the arts of the mind, the heart, and the soul. I have survived the fall of Beacon, and an attempt at Ascension. I am Weiss Schnee, Second of Remnant, and I will not tolerate any of your foolishness touching my world."
Danny rolled his eyes. "Dramatic much, lady? We get it, stay off your turf. No need to get your panties in a twist."
"Actually, it's been suggested I wear a thong."
The teenage boy blinked at that casual statement. "Uh... wait... what?"
"It's an option," Weiss said, dismissing her summons with a simple gesture. "Perhaps you have an opinion, mister Fenton?"
"I... uh... I, uh, that, I, you see-"
Adrien grabbed his shoulder. "I think we'll be going now, nice talking with you miss Schnee!" He dragged the other boy away as quickly as he could.
Weiss waited until they were out of sight. "You can come out now, Ruby."
A flurry of rose petals spiraled from a nearby tree, coalescing into a girl with silver eyes and blood-red hair. "So... what? We're staying neutral?"
"We have enough issues without adding this nonsense to our mess. Do thank Grif for the heads-up, though."
"Of course. I just thought we might have go for team Santa or something..."
"We've got plenty of grinches in our loop. It wouldn't be fair to force them to act against their will."
"Fair point." Ruby gave her a look. "So what was with the thong thing, anyway?"
"A teenage boy that thinks girl is being 'dramatic' needs to be shut down fast." Weiss smirked. "And I'll admit it's a little fun screwing with people's heads like that."
"Yeah, true. Honestly, those two need to grow up anyway." Ruby snorted. "Declaring war against christmas... well, whatever, hopefully somebody smacks some sense into them."
Weiss shrugged. "It'll come in their own time. Now then, I think Nora wanted us to work on some gingerbread animals to add to her pastry zoo."
Ruby nodded, joining her partner as they started walking back to their dorms. "Gingerbread doesn't have much flexibility, so probably something with an exoskeleton. Butterflies, maybe? Or some sort of beetle..."
mariic
[The SCP Foundation/Channel Awesome/Marvel Comics/DC Comics]
Christmas War snip 18
On board the Comicron One, an urgent meeting was taking place. Linkara started, "Okay, now some of you might be wondering why I brought you here."
"I'm not." Deadpool snarked. "Danny Phantom and the Nostalgia Critic, among a lot of other people, are going to fight a war because of their conflicting views on Christmas."
Robin rolled his eyes. "Most of us already know this. Why are you telling us this?"
"You may know it, but some of the readers might not." Deadpool explained.
Ignoring the Merc with the Mouth, the Anchor of Earth 4W continued with the briefing. "Anyway, there will be a lot of chaos during the fight, so we need to get as many people as possible out of the crossfire. Superman, you and the other heavy hitters focus on trying to break up the fight. Cap, you and the other heroes will focus on evacuation of civilians; get them to the nearest Post-Civil-War bunker, where Foundation staff will overlook them. Any questions?"
Iron Man snarked, "Yeah, who put you in charge?"
"I did." Dr Glass explained. "Linkara is the Anchor of Earth 4W, so it's safe to say he's the one with the most knowledge of this Branch."
Spider-Man asked, "Wait, isn't Deadpool on the Critic's side?"
"I was," The Merc with the Mouth answered. "But it turns out he actually likes the Prequel Trillogy."
Batman cleared his throat. "I've actually Looped into the Prequel Trillogy, and Jar Jar isn't so bad once you-"
The Caped Crusader's train of thought was promptly derailed when Deadpool pounced on him, put a gun to his head, and ahouted, "JAR JAR IS AN ABOMINATION!"
"Wade! That's enough!" Steve promptly pried him off Bruce.
"Okay," Deadpool relented. "But only because you told me."
Linkara pinched the bridge of his nose. "Now that's over with, let's get to work!"
Danny Phantom/Miraculous Ladybug/Channel Awesome/Red vs Blue/Pokémon/Fairly Odd Parents/Invader Zim/Yokai Watch/Spongebob/Phineas and Ferb/Sonic/Mario/Garfield/Seaman/DC/Marvel/SCP Foundation
Final Christmas War Snip
Nostalgia Chick glared as she looked at the various loopers that joined her cause.
"So the two superheroes I hired got me an asshole of a computer program, a nerd, two failed thieves and their pet cat, two crazy aliens, a teacher, a bunch of kids and a racist wizard. Doing so ended up getting even more loopers coming to defend the Nostalgia Critic and this stupid holiday. Color me impressed."
The visiting loopers started to yell, each one arguing against the Nostalgia Chick's words until Danny interrupted it with an ectoplasmic blast.
"Look, we're all here, let's come up with a plan to beat these guys. Church, you're an AI, right?"
"Yeah, dipshit, I am, any other stupid questions you want to ask me?"
Danny smirked. "Just wanted to see if you'd help run this Meta suit/Ecto suit Tucker gave me." He then pulled said device out of his Pocket.
Church sighed. "Fine, just give me a sec. Not as good at this as Epsilon"
The cynical AI left the robot suit he possessed and entered the Meta suit.
"Ready."
Danny turned to his cousin. "Hey Timmy, you've got the inators from Dr D?"
"Yep, even the useless ones. How are you gonna conquer something that turns everything into turkey?" Timmy said. "Wish I could make some of them handheld, but-"
Without missing a beat, Draco pulled out his wand and started to wave it around. The inators flew in the air, then shrunk and grew a pistol grip, turning each one handheld.
As the collective loopers stared at him, Draco shrugged. "He did say 'I wish'."
Mrs Bitters sniffed, pulling her cloak closer around herself. "Well I hope you're fine with granting his wishes in battle, since I won't do so. The boy doesn't have his fairies."
Timmy frowned. "Wanda & Poof didn't want to, and Cosmo seems overkill since I have Dark Laser's Death Ball, as well as a borrowed Darth Laser Suit."
Gaz smirked. "We're good too. Zim and Tak have their ships as well, I've brought my Krampus mech, and Dib & Mrs Bitters can handle themselves."
"Indeed, that foolish human will rue the day that the boy decided to pick a fight with the mighty looping Irken fleet! Oh, and I'm sure the meager human contributions will benefit us."
Jessie growled. "Meager, you say! Meowth, show this mini Elgyem our mighty mechanical marvel we made!"
Meowth nodded, then pulled it out of his Pocket. It was a large mecha built to resemble the Pokémon Wobbuffet.
"What we got here not only resembles our blue friend, it acts like him too. If yah attack it, it'll be sent right back at ya with a lot more power."
James grinned. "Since we couldn't bring our dear friend into battle, we went for the next best thing!"
Adrien smirked. "While your sci-fi stuff will kick ro-butt, I'll be sticking with my magic ring. Plagg, Claws Out!" The teen model then quickly turned into the superhero Chat Noir, then faced the local Loopers. "You guys have any Channel Awesome stuff with you?"
"I've got my NES stuff, but I'll equip that when we fight Nostalgia Critic."
"Paw-some!"
As Team Scrooge began planning their assault, the Koma Bros looked down at the scene with worry.
"We've got to warn Spongebob, zura!" Komajiro exclaimed. "Oh if only we had weapons to fight with, zura!"
"You're right, I'll inform him on the radio, zura. Don't worry about fighting, zura. Your great older brother will keep you safe, zura."
"Great plan, bestest brother, zura!"
"Spongebob, their militia is worse than we thought, they've got two giant mechas, all of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's inators, and one has an armor that looks like the Meta Grif talked about!" Komasan warned. "Have you contacted the Critic yet?"
"Not yet, but I'll run over there and grab him, can you add Sandy to this call?"
"On it, zura!"
"Howdy, Spongebob, what do ya need."
"Ready the troops, I'm about to head over to the Critic."
"Already ready, Spongebob, we're all waiting on you."
"I'm ready!"
Putting the radio back in his Pocket, Spongebob redonned his Quickster costume and dashed to the Nostalgia Critic household. Arriving in a millisecond, Spongebob pounded on the door several times a second.
Nostalgia Critic then opened the door, stared at the non-native looper, and asked; "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Critic! You gotta listen to me! Adrien Agreste, Danny Phantom, The Angry Videogame Nerd and a bunch of others are coming to destroy your Christmas party!" Spongebob warned.
Spongebob's eyes grew wide as the Critic began to change. His hair became spiky and red, his shirt and pants turned into a green morph suit, his skin became paler as two depictions of ornaments appeared on his cheeks, and even his tie changed from maroon to a bright red, white, and green.
"NNNNEEERRRRRRDDD!" Critic shouted to the sky. "Where is he, Spongebob?" He asked, his voice becoming a deep, growling baritone.
"The Koma Bros are scouting them. I was sent to tell you before Team Scrooge gets here!"
Critic and Spongebob heard the sound of the pop as Team Scrooge appeared a few feet away from the building, though Nostalgia Chick took the time to hide in her Pocket.
"You really should have prepared better." Chat said, smirking.
"Look, Spongebob, we don't want to fight you. We mostly want to stop a crazy guy from going too far in his planet ending obsession." Danny said calmly.
"Crazy? Christmas is a wonderful holiday…" Spongebob began.
"Unless your father and mother fight over something completely asinine during the holidays, or have a magical supervillain as a parent." Chat Noir argued. "Now, I'm sure the Critic wants to fight as much as we do, especially with The Angry Video Game Nerd here, so let's see if we can get it started."
"Gladly." Critic said, pulling both sword and gun out of his Pocket. Spongebob nodded, pulling a beach's worth of sand out of his Pocket before making it into a legion of Santa Clauses, who charged at the opposing army.
The frontline collapsed against a Ghostly Wail, but several more charged toward, keeping the rest of Team Scrooge at bay.
Danny charged at the Nostalgia Critic, but Spongebob intercepted him in the blink of an eye, then began striking him with lightning quick karate.
"Alright, time to play hardball." Church said as he activated the suit's speed boost. Soon Danny was able to match Spongebob blow for blow.
Nostalgia Critic began firing his gun at Chat Noir, who deflected them with a swing of his baton. A hatch opened from the Wobbuffet mecha as Jessie fired a net at the Critic, who cut it in half with a swing of his sword and a roll of his eyes.
"Seriously, that was stupid as hell." The Critic fired a lightning bolt at the mecha, which proved to his detriment as it struck him back with far more power. Pissed off, he charged at Team Rocket, knocking Chat Noir aside. Picking up the Wobbuffet mech, he then charged at The Angry Video Game Nerd, who escaped by jumping into his Pocket.
"What a coward." The Critic turned to face Chat Noir, but a blast in the back stopped him. Turning around, he saw the Angry Video Game Nerd decked out in his NES Weaponry.
Critic began shooting at the Nerd, charging at him to get in close with the mecha. Nerd gladly returned fire, lasers evaporating the bullets. Critic swung the mecha, but the U-Board deflected it easily. The Nerd grew to the size of a skyscraper, and picked up the mecha with his hands, Critic barely keeping his grip. Seeing an opportunity, Ms Bitters flew up to to the reviewer, cackling all the way. When she was a few feet away, Critic pulled himself on top the Wobbuffet mecha, then stabbed the Nerd in the hand with his sword, causing him to drop both.
While they were in free fall, Team Rocket pocketed the mecha and fled the war zone out on jetpacks, swearing they'll return another day, with a more sure victory.
Ms Bitters flew down as the Critic fell, ready to attack him once more, but the Angry Video Game Nerd stopped her.
"I can see the rest of Team Santa arriving on one of Bowser's ships a few miles away. I need you to get Draco, Timmy, Zim, Tak, and Gaz to attack the ship."
Ms Bitters nodded begrudgingly. As she flew, Timmy lifted all the sand warriors with the force, formed them into a ball, then blasted the sand ball with Doofenshmirtz's Turkeyinator. Seeing where Danny and Spongebob were fighting, Timmy dropped the baked bird on them, Danny turning intangible before he could get crushed.
"Wizard! Turner! Gaz! Tak! Zim! Attack Bowser's ship!" Ms Bitters yelled before flying off.
Draco unpocketed his broom and flew off, Timmy, Tak and Zim following in their respective ships. Gaz followed suit, her Krampus mech at full speed.
As the rest of the flying members of Team Scrooge went off to fight Bowser's ship, Danny began blasting Critic, Chat Noir and Dib following it up with some strikes from staffs and fists. These attacks barely impeded Critic, who began hacking away at them with his sword, necessitating the Nerd to stomp on the Critic
At Bowser's ship, the fight was even matched between the two forces. Missiles, spells, lasers and a shadow traveling Ms Bitters damaging the ship and its passengers through hit and run tactics.
The tide turned though, with Seaman hopping towards Draco, then using Egyptian magic to turn him into a ferret. Draco valiantly tried to hold on to his broom, but eventually fell off.
With one of Team Scrooge's members down, Team Santa began to go on the offensive. Phineas and Ferb unpocketed their Treehouse Mechas to fight against Gaz's Krampusmech, Inaho and Bowser unleashed a litany of fire attacks, and Sandy began attempting to lasso any member of Team Scrooge she could. The blasters from Gaz, Timmy's and Tak and Zim's ships, fended them off, but barely.
Shadow smirked at this, victory was nearing. Pointing towards the Death Ball, Team Dark broke off from Team Santa and began approaching Timmy's ship, Super Shadow flying at lightning quick speed, Rogue and E-123 not far behind.
Timmy frowned as the group began attacking the Dark Laser face on his ship.
"Alright droids, you guys man the Death Ball, continue blasting the pirate ship, I'll battle deviantart's moneymakers."
The droids nodded, and began manning the controls Timmy abandoned. Timmy ran out the open mouth of Dark Laser, then began blasting Team Dark with heat vision as soon as Shadow's fur turned black. Not that it did much to the hedgehog.
Shadow ran at the kid, who barely managed to keep up with Shadow's blows. Timmy swung his lightsaber, which caused Shadow to back off, temporarily. One Chaos Emerald later, and the world stood still. Shadow nudged the kid off the Death Ball, then time was restored.
Timmy barely caught himself with his dark powers, flying back onto the Death Ball. Shadow continued his onslaught, Timmy still barely keeping up. Taking the initiative E-123 began blasting away, coming close to hitting Timmy. Rouge flew at him, dealing devasting kicks. Timmy was able to melt E-123's arms, but was met with even more vicious kicks from Rouge. No matter how hard Timmy fought, three on one was still three on one. Shadow and Rouge smashed Timmy through the Death Balls engine, Timmy surviving only thanks to several healing potions from his Pocket.
"Good fight, Turner, I'm surprised you fought so well."
"Thanks, mind staying out of this?"
"I'm afraid not, I was looking forward to fighting more than you."
"No way to convince you otherwise, is there?" Timmy snarked. Shadow shook his head, amused. "Good luck, then." Timmy barely coughed out the words before passing out. Despite the droids best efforts, the Death Ball crashed to the ground, making a crater twice the size of an Olympic swimming pool.
Tak stared down at the smoking ship in worry. The Team Scrooge forces against Critic's calvary were dwindling down to nothing, and she had already saw how much devastation the reviewer could wreak. There was no way for them to win.
Then Bowser's ship disappeared.
It didn't seem to matter much to Team Santa. The Mario Loopers were able to unpocket their karts and hang glide down. Team Dark and Seaman flew, and there seemed to be a man in an exosuit saving anyone who couldn't fly. But it was a good distraction. One she was able to use to her advantage as she blasted Team Santa with glee.
The blasts only shook Team Santa momentarily. The Mario Loopers sped towards the Krampusmech at breakneck speeds while Miss Bitters' assault on the exosuit wearer was kept in check by a few well placed kicks. The Mario Loopers' karts transformed into huge bullets, and sped towards the Krampusmech even faster. Tak wasn't sure if it would survive such a thing.
Then the Krampusmech disappeared, and the giant bullets crashed into each other.
"I must say, this has been a wonderful experience," A voice drawled behind her. "Yes, Draco Malfoy singlehandedly saves the day as a ferret. Very nice."
With a loud CRACK, Tak and Draco appeared back where they fought the Nostalgia Critic. Said reviewer was fending off most of Team Scrooge with ease, and glowing even more brighter than before. The Angry Video Game Nerd, despite his colossal size, had been knocked out, or worse.
"Keep trying, it makes it more fun." The Critic ripped off pieces of Danny's armor, and chucked them wildly. One nearly collided with her ship's engines, causing her to crash.
"Why does this keep happening?"
The Critic refocused his attention on Danny, who turned intangible. With his blows non effective, Critic changes tactics once more, focusing on Cat Noir. Despite the suit's magic, Cat Noir could still feel pain from the Nostalgia Critic's blows. Chat was on the defensive, focused more on deflecting blows with his staff then strikes. Dib and Tak tried to take advantage of the distraction by dealing some powerful blows, but were kept at bay and eventually got knocked out by huge explosions. Seeing this, Danny, Draco, Zim and Gaz retreated to a further distance and focused on blasting the reviewer. Ms Bitters shadow traveled on top of the reviewer, possibly trying to use more hit and run tactics, but was stabbed fatally with the Critic's sword. Cat Noir rushed at him with a Cataclysm, but was stopped when Critic crushed his hand. Luckily for Chat Noir, Danny distracted him from a killing blow with a blast.
Team Santa soon arrived, smiles wide as Santa's waistline. They were winning, all thanks to the Nostalgia Critic. Time to celebrate!
The pouring of champagne was interrupted by a huge explosion and several bullets fired. Critic was a red, white and green supernova, and the earth was beginning to crack under his feet. Team Scrooge began to back away even further.
Inaho marched towards the reviewer, fury in her eyes. "Hey, we came here to help! Stop shooting us you-"
Inaho was cut off with a bullet inches away from her face.
"Jerk?"
Sandy lassoed Inaho away from the Critic, and Team Santa retreated, but Critic was in hot pursuit, the ground shaking with every step. Critic was about to swing at Inaho with his sword, but was cut off with two katanas.
"Really, that's how you introduce the Merc with a Mouth? Come on, Thanatos! Anyway, may as well drop some exposition on spacecraft. Batman, Tony, Superman Linkara, and the SCP got a bunch of rockets ready for everyone when this planet goes kablooey. Head west, and don't stop. Batman will evacuate you guys when you get there."
"Wait, we need to contact the Koma Bros!" Inaho yelled.
"Yeah, you could do that or you could leave!" Deadpool said, barely keeping the reviewer at bay. He was able to fire a tranquilizer gun at the reviewer, which slowed down the Critic. He was soon joined by Spider-Man, Superman, and Iron Man in the Hulkbuster, who were able to push Critic on the defensive.
"Alright kids. Time to run down to Bloomington!"
"Not without the Koma Bros!"
"Enough." Shadow stepped forward. "I'll run towards the Koma Bros location, and run them towards the rocket."
"Great plan! We'll fend them off with Batman tested gadgetry, while you guys run like Hell now! Welp, looks like it's time for a scene transition. I'll teleport over to Danny and company, tell them where to go."
Deadpool teleported over to Team Scrooge, where every member seemed to be relieved they were no longer fighting the Nostalgia Critic.
"Alright nerds, time to get off the planet before Critic goes supernova. Linkara parked a couple miles east, so teleport yourself there. I'm gonna go fight Critic 'offscreen.'"
Draco Apparated the group once more to where Linkara was. They boarded the ship and took off from planet Earth, Batman's ship not to far behind, the Koma Bros on board. Soon Superman, Iron Man, and Spider-Man left as well, leaving behind a half-drugged Critic, who exploded the entire planet in rage.
Back on the Comicron-1, Team Scrooge was healing up from the fight. Linkara walked in and approached Danny and Adrien, who were happily resting, and in the case of the latter, reading manga.
"Mind joining me in another room? Kinda want to talk to you guys for a bit."
Danny and Adrien looked at each other, shrugged, then nodded. They entered another room and sat down.
"So, how exactly did this start? I have a feeling you guys didn't just sit down and say you wanted to beat up the Critic."
Danny and Adrien winced.
"Not exactly. Originally we were just gonna mess around as Christmas themed villains, but Nostalgia Chick told us about the Critic and how much of a nutcase he was, especially about Christmas, we decided to fight him. We thought he was a villain, more or less. As we continued, we thought it'd be cool to actually beat him, and that it'd be like challenging someone to a fight." Danny stated.
"You know, I can't help but wonder what would happen if you had just decided to stay home? Would someone come after you guys? Though I want to focus on a different hypothetical. What if you had done your research?"
"Hey, I researched Nostalgia Critic! His weapons, powers, abilities." Adrien shot back.
"Anything not related to combat?"
"... No."
"Yeah, if you had researched a bit more, you'd probably learn that Nostalgia Critic isn't that bad, even if he does go cuckoo bonkers around this time. He isn't entirely his Christmas mania, just like you guys aren't just Scrooges. I normally handle the guy pretty well, though I do have practice as the Anchor."
Seeing their shocked faces, Linkara let out a sigh. "You guys really need to do your research. Anyway why do you guys hate Christmas so much? Maybe I can suggest a way around it."
"Christmas sucks ash in our Baseline. Danny's parents argue over Santa's existence, and has to deal with a reality warping writer if he breaks his masterpiece. As for me, my dad is…"
"Emotionally constipated and pushes Adrien into things he doesn't want to do, and hasn't tried to get over his grief." Danny interrupted.
"That."
"Families suck around Christmas huh. Maybe take a Vacation loop, there are quite a few loops with evil Santas. Try to expand your family a bit as well. You can choose them when you loop."
"They aren't that bad." Danny argued. "But I think I'll try a Vacation loop. Thanks for the advice, dude."
"No problem. Grab something to eat before the loop crashes."
The two superheroes' eyes widened. Adrien was quicker on the uptake.
"Do you have croissants?"
Second shelf. Happy Holidays!"