Out of all the things to end up in the hospital for, Jack didn't expect it to be after falling off the roof of his house while hanging Christmas lights. He might have even been okay, except Bunny had taken one look at his housemate bleeding on the driveway and fainted, so Jack had to yell for help for the next ten minutes. His entire back hurt and he was pretty sure that his arm was not supposed to hang at that angle, but, hey, at least the morphine was working.
A short brunette nurse came into his room, looking gently at Jack as she fixed the IVs and pressed a plethora of buttons on the machines around him. She checked his blood pressure and vitals and pretty much used every machine possible to assure that Jack wasn't dying. After an exhausting few minutes of being poked and prodded, the nurse finally patted his arm. "Everything looks fine. How are you feeling, sweet pea?"
Honestly, he was feeling like crap, but Jack just gave her a painful smile as he twisted his body so that he wouldn't feel like he was slowly being set on fire. "Great."
She beamed. "You're recovering amazingly! We'll probably have you in a wheelchair by the end of the operation."
Jack was about to nod and doze off again, when what the nurse said hit him. "Wait. Operation?"
"Yep! We'll have you prepped for surgery tomorrow." His face must have looked stricken, because she patted his arm with another soft smile. "Don't you worry, it's a short procedure and we'll have you knocked out 'till you don't know your own name!"
Jack didn't know if that was supposed to reassure him or not, so he let out a whimper and fell back onto the pillows. The nurse finished putting away her equipment and looked back at his miserable face. "Hey, don't looks so glum. You'll be out of here before you know it! And meanwhile, you get leave off of work and free tv all day." She wheeled away her cart full of complicated medical instruments back down the ward's hallways.
Jack looked at her receding figure and sighed. It was the only long human interaction he'd had in a day, and he was beginning to feel lonely. Where the heck were all his friends? Weren't they supposed to visit him by this time?
The sounds of heart monitors and the sight of the slow dripping of the IVs slowly lulled Jack back to sleep in the dark room.
The nurse had been right about a few things about the surgery - it wasn't painful or long, mostly because Jack had been under anesthesia for all of it. But he was so out of it he didn't even remember Bunny and North coming down to check on him.
Jack tried not to look tired as his little brother Jamie rambled on about superheroes and aliens, but the surgery and the hospital food didn't do much other than make him feel terrible, so Jack just grunted and nodded when Jamie took a pause for a breath.
"Hey Jack, did you see the rest of the patients yet? Are they all your friends?"
Jack chuckled. "I would have, but I've been confined to this place while I slowly feel like I'm dying."
Jamie grimaced, looking guilty that he brought the subject up, but Jack waved it off. "Why do you ask?"
His little brother grinned once again, eagerly starting to talk. "I met this one girl in your ward! She lives, like, right next to you! You should go visit - you know, when you can walk again - she's sooo nice!"
Jack let him talk about this girl and how she loved superheroes too and how she had a mean dog named Hans when she was little and her sister named Elsa and wondered how his brother managed to learn someone's whole life story after spending an afternoon with them.
"And Jack guess what, she LOVES snow, just like you! She even used to ice skate for real! She said she wanted to be in the Olympics."
Jack didn't find this all that spellbinding or wondrous - Pennsylvania had it's fair share of ice skaters and hockey players - but something about the way Jamie said it made it seem amazing, and he felt a surge of affection for his little brother who couldn't seem to make him unhappy.
After talking for another half hour, the short nurse from two days ago popped in to break the news to them that visiting hours were over, and Jamie gave Jack and awkward hug through the tangled mess of tubes and waved goodbye.
"Jack, you should totally go see her! She's so lonely because her family rarely visits anymore, and I know you're really bored here too." Jamie told him before leaving. And it was true - Jack was bored out of his mind, and he hated that someone else might be feeling the same way.
So, the moment the nurse - he'd learned that her name was actually Rapunzel - came back to sit him in a wheelchair, Jack jumped at the oppurtunity to visit his neighbor.
Nurse Rapunzel cheerfully plucked the IV out of his arm. "I think it's a wonderful idea, Jack! Anna's ever so lonely...poor girl. It's a terrible condition." Her somber face perked up once again, and she nodded. "Go ahead, after breakfast."
Jack had never eaten his Cheerios so quickly.
It was too late for doubts about this, definitely, but Jack found himself facing the hospital room door and thinking twice about wheeling himself inside. He knocked on the door.
"Nurse Anna, for the hundredth time, I'm fine! Go away!" a rather petulant voice answered.
"Uh, actually it's Jack. The guy who fell off the roof?"
There was a pause. "Come in."
Jack reached up to pull the door handle - he'd never realize how big everything looked from a wheelchair - and pushed the door with one hand while pushing his wheelchair in with the other.
"Hey, Jamie's older brother, right? I'm Anna." A petite young woman sat in a hospital bed, hooked up to a mess of wires. She looked him up and down. "When're you out?"
"Oh, um, I don't know." Jack suddenly felt as if he was intruding. "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you if you were resting..or..."
She waved it off. "It's fine. I was fine yesterday - could even walk a little - but then I had to go in for surgery over night. Ugh, it's exhausting."
Jack grinned. "The withdrawal from the drugs is the worst, isn't it?"
Anna nodded vigorously. "Right? Punzie said I was slurring so much I couldn't say my name." She sat up. "Hey, she's your nurse too, isn't she?"
"Yeah. She's pretty cool."
Anna grinned, settling back down. "I know, right? She's my favorite nurse. And my only friend here. Hey, Jack, mind opening those blinds for me? It's so dark in here."
Jack, who was usually the one asking questions and being generally talkative, tried not to look too put off by her forwardness, but Anna must have noticed, because she let out a giggle. "Heh. Sorry. You don't have to if it's difficult or-"
"No, no, it's fine." Jack wheeled himself over - this probably counted as rehab for his arms in itself - and twisted open the blinds. Sunlight streamed through and Jack could see the tops of the trees and the parking lot of the hospital. "Nice view."
"I get to people watch all day."
He turned back to Anna, who he could see more clearly now. Her partially red-orange hair was set apart with beach blonde highlights and put neatly into braids. She looked a little younger than him.
"You're gorgeous." Anna said after a pause, then turned red. "Sorry, sorry, I'm way too forward. You can leave if you're creeped out."
"It's...okay." Actually, Jack was kind of put off, but Anna seemed pretty cool, and it wasn't if he had anything better to do. "You don't look too bad yourself."
This only made for another awkward pause and more blushing from both parties, but Jack plunged through. "So," he started, looking at a small open drawer filled with books. "You like myths."
Anna grinned wide. "I love them! Fairytales, folklore, anything. I used to pretend my sister was The Snow Queen when I was little because she's such an amazing ice skater."
Jack frowned. "But isn't The Snow Queen some sort of heartless being who kidnaps children?"
Anna's smile faded. "Yeah, well. We didn't have the strongest relationship. She's really antisocial. And she doesn't visit anymore because she's off being a champion ice skater."
"That sucks." Jack said as genuinely as possible without making it a pity party.
"Yep. But it's okay, I guess. I see her on TV."
It struck Jack as strange again, how someone could be so open about their life to a complete stranger. The only other person who he knew did that was Jamie, and it was something he was sure that his little brother would grow out of once he realized that people weren't as nice as he made them out to be. No wonder he knew so much about Anna that afternoon - the two of them together probably exchanged autobiographies.
This also probably meant Anna knew plenty of embarrassing things about Jack.
"Hey, you okay? Did I freak you out again with my problems?"
"What?" Jack looked back at her. "Oh, no. I was just wondering how much you actually knew about me."
Anna smirked. "Oh, your brother gave me plenty to go on."
Jack groaned. "I'm going to kill him the moment I get home. Don't tell me that he told you about that one skiing accident-"
"YES! Oh my god, that was so hilarious!" Anna clapped her hands while laughing, barely able to breathe.
Jack was pretty sure he was beet red by now, but something about her made him laugh along. "It was one time, and I swear I didn't see a sign anywhere that said there was no trail!"
"But you skied off a cliff!"
"Snow was in my eyes!"
This only made her double over, gasping for air.
The open door to the room carried the sound as a doctor came walking down the hall, her heels clacking against the floor.
"Everything okay in here?" He said in a cheery voice. He was short and stout, with a strange oval shaped face and very pale white skin - paler than Jack.
"Yep, Dr. Olaf. Jack just came to visit, from the room next to mine."
"That's great, honey! Have fun!" His voice sounded high pitched and nasally - cartoony almost. Jack tried not to look freaked out, but Anna probably noticed because she smiled a little at him.
"Olaf's a little strange. I've been here long enough to know he's actually really smart and caring once you get past the...voice."
"Oh." Jack paused. "How long have you been here?"
Anna's face clouded a bit, and Jack wondered if he'd overstepped some kind of boundary. "Um, since I was ten. I've only been bedridden for two years though."
Jack couldn't imagine being stuck in a hospital room for so long. He would probably go insane. No wonder Anna was such great friends with her nurses and doctors - they were probably the only human interaction she had.
"It's getting worse, they said. The degeneration. I'll probably have trouble eating and moving my arms and stuff. Gosh, that sucks."
Jack didn't know quite what to say to this - to say sorry would probably be over done and pointless, to not do anything would be heartless.
Anna didn't miss a beat. "Whatever. Too depressing to think about. What matters is that I can still use my hands right now." She wiggled her fingers for effect.
The pair talked on for what seemed like a mere half an hour at the most but ended up being at least half the day as Rapunzel came in to deliver Anna a meal.
"Jack!" Her voice tinged with surprise. "I didn't think you'd still be in here. You guys have been hanging out for a long time. I'll bring you your meal too."
"Er, no it's fine. I should probably be getting back anyway. Jamie said he'd visit me after school."
Anna grinned. "Hey, afterward, maybe you could get him to come here? Your brother's great."
"Why, so you can hear more embarrassing stories about me?" Jack laughed. "I'm pretty sure he'd come over even if I told him not to."
It became a daily thing - breakfast, then spend the day with Anna, hang out with Jamie and her for another hour, and then rehab with an occasional visit from one of his roommates.
After about three weeks of working out his muscles until the point of exhaustion, Rapunzel came into the room cheerily - well, she was always cheery, but this time it was extra-cheery. Just look at her made Jack want to smile too.
"What's the good news?"
"You're getting discharged at the end of today! Doctor Olaf finalized the papers. You're free!"
Jack was honestly happy, he was, except that now...Anna would be alone.
"Aaaaaaanddd..."
"Yeah?" He tried not to sound reluctant.
"He also gave permission to visit Anna during visiting hours."
Jack's eyes widened. "Wait, really? He can do that?"
"Well, he did. Now come on, up and at em. Time to pack your stuff up - you can walk fine, right?"
Jack still visited Anna - you don't make a great friend and then let them go just like that - at least, not in Jack's opinion. They still ate ice cream and chatted about TV show finales and books and their lives. Sometimes Jamie would tag along, though less often now because his winter break was over.
They all built a snowman once, right before Valentines day after she had asked for the millionth time "Do you want to build a snowman?" and Jack had finally agreed. Anna laughed so much and smiled so wide that Jack wanted to build one everyday, just the two of them. Rapunzel and her new boyfriend, Eugene, shared a sweet kiss, and Anna sighed and told him she wished she would find love one day. Jack promised her that she would.
Jack pretended not to notice when Anna weakly asked him to grab her a book that was only a few feet away from her. He pretended everything was okay after a surgery one early morning in March when she was hooked up to a breathing machine. He tried not to worry when her laughs grew quieter and less frequent and her smiles looked painful. And again in June, when he spoon fed her oatmeal because Anna could barely hold a spoon.
Then it was July fourth weekend, the day before her big surgery, and Rapunzel placed Anna in a wheelchair and Jack slowly pushed her outside onto the lawn where some of the healthier patients sat on a picnic blanket. They ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and watched the night sky light up in an explosion of fireworks. For some reason, Jack hugged her that night. It was gentle but Jack didn't want to let go, and Anna broke away first, and a sad look replaced the smiles that had lit up her face the rest of the night.
"What?"
"Nothing." she whispered. Anna whispered a lot these days.
"What is it?"
"Jack, I'm scared."
It took a moment for him to register this - for a moment he dumbly thought she was talking about the fireworks. "I...I know. It looks tough right now and you probably feel terrible, but this is only a small down for you." He gave a tentative smile. "Hey...you have so much more in your life than this disease. You haven't even gotten halfway there yet."
The look Anna gave him then haunted him for years. "No...I'm almost there."
Jack wanted to tell her everything was going to be fine, promise her that this time the surgery would work and she could start recovering, reassure her that even if she didn't recover fully, she'd still have a life.
Then Anna gave him a small peck on the cheek as Rapunzel came back, her face flushed and smiling wide. Jack could only stare at her, and think that everything was wrong. Her pale face, her vibrant locks now hanging flat and stringy, her stick thin body, and the smile that was long gone.
Rapunzel wheeled her back to the room that night, after telling Jack to go home and sleep before his classes tomorrow, and Jack wished he hadn't listened. He regretted with all his heart that he had nodded and turned around to walk back to his apartment, not even glancing back at Anna.
Anna didn't make it through surgery, and that morning when he had woken up, Jack somehow had already known before the nurses had sat him down. Before Rapunzel came out crying, Doctor Olaf squeezing her shoulders, his face tired and old and sad. Before Anna's family walked in the door and Jack had to restrain himself from yelling at them.
Why weren't you there for her when she needed you the most? Where were you?
Her sister came up to him later, tears still streaming down her face. "She wrote to me. Every day. I rarely answered, and I regret that so much. But...thank you for being her friend, Jack."
When she had started talking, Jack thought that he would instantly hate her, tell her she was a terrible sister for leaving Anna, yell at her - but then he saw her face frozen in sadness and every ounce of contempt he held left him.
That day had been the worst day of his life, Jack thought, until he went to her funeral.
The doctors only let immediate family in to see her body, and even Olaf couldn't bend those rules - or perhaps he was too defeated to, so the day he had viewed the open casket made him want to throw up or run away or both.
That wasn't Anna motionless, pale and ice cold. She looked frozen.
"My family has been expecting me to die for so long, they probably wouldn't even cry."
Her parents stared solemnly as their daughter's body, one they hadn't seen in so long. Elsa wasn't there.
"If I die, you have to promise to say and epic speech at my funeral. And of course you have to mention how beautiful I looked in this mess of wires."
Jack wasn't allowed to speak at the funeral. It was a family only affair in the first place, with Anna's parents acceding to let him come as well only with the pleading of Rapunzel and Olaf.
"You have to let them play "Stayin' Alive" as my song. Come on, it's a classic."
He didn't choose the soundtrack.
"And I'm totally having soup, roast, and ice cream. Are there meals during funerals?"
He didn't choose the food.
"Don't be too sad when I'm gone, okay? I'll let you have my hospital complimentary banana nut ice cream every day."
She had, of course, said it as a joke, but since Jack hadn't been able to fulfill any of her other dying wishes, at least this one was possible.
He didn't cry. Well, at least every day after the funeral, he didn't cry. Not when Aster and North came up to Jack and told him how terrible it was, how sorry they were. Not even when he visited Jamie and told him the news. He pretended not to notice the sad glances his roommates would sometimes give him, how people he barely knew somehow suddenly seemed to know his life story.
"I heard he lost his girlfriend."
"His sister died last week."
"It was cancer, wasn't it?"
Shut up. Jack wanted to yell to the world. Just shut up and get over it.
And for a while, he actually did believe it to be true. He didn't think about her as much, he threw his focus to other things - school, work, drawing. Jack blocked Anna out.
Before he knew it, it was Christmas again. Jamie came over and asked to build a snowman. Jack told him he was busy, but Jack was never busy. Never busy enough to pass up snowman building.
Things dragged on this way for a while. He would claim to be fine, but when Bunny offered him ice cream that just happened to be banana nut (where would one even find banana nut ice cream other than that hospital?), Jack simply stared, then shook his head.
New Years eve had Jack in his room with the shades drawn shut and the music blasting so he could pretend there weren't fireworks outside his window.
"Jack? Are you in there?" Toothiana yelled from outside. Jack turned down the volume and opened his door.
"Yeah?" He tried not to sound annoyed.
"I'm sorry if I'm, um, bothering you, but I was wondering if you wanted to see the fireworks with us? I mean, they've put out such an amazing display this year and-"
"Sorry, busy." Jack was about to slam the door in her face before she stopped it with her hand.
"This is about Anna."
"What? No."
She sighed, that almost pitying sigh that Jack hated that used to follow him everywhere. "Jack...this isn't how you cope."
"I'm done with coping, Tooth. I'm over it."
"When I lost my dad, I didn't want anything to do with him at first. I tried to keep everything that was his out of my life. But one day, this letter came in the mail - it was some stupid magazine that he had subscribed to about art. He loved to draw. He had renewed the subscription before the accident, and my mom was too tired to cancel it. So every month, we'd get this art magazine in the mail. At first it just made me sad to see it all - every little article about strokes and lines and history of art and modern art just made me want to cry because it reminded me of him. Then I started to like them for the same reason. It reminded me of the great times I shared with him. The times he'd get excited and tell me about some article or some quote. It was so much like him, y'know?"
Jack, who had initially tried to throw her out, now sat on the ground next to her in the doorway of his bedroom. Tooth looked at him sadly. "I see myself during those first few months in you."
"This is just my way of grieving."
She sighed again, this time more of a content one than a pitying one. "Grieving. Grieving is good. But open those shades, Jack. Think of her face when she was happy and you were together having fun. Think of all the times you made her laugh and smile. You made Anna's life worth living, Jack."
"I didn't do anything."
"But you did...she adored you. She loved you. The few times I came to visit you during your rehab, I saw you talking to her. That girl's face lit up." Tooth smiled a bit. "Jack. She'd want to do the same for you."
"Make me smile?"
"Yes! Every time you think of her - if you build a snowman or watch her favorite TV show or watch fireworks - think of how happy these things made her. Think of the great times you shared...and that's how you get over it."
Jack nodded and then told her he wasn't ready tonight. Tooth gave him a sad smile and squeezed his shoulder, then left the apartment.
With his attention back to this surroundings, Jack realized that the fireworks had ended. Suddenly the room felt very hot and enclosed, and he grabbed a hoodie and practically ran outside to the front of the complex. The lawn outside was layered with soft powder snow and the cool frigid winter air gave him some room to breathe. Jack shivered as the intensity of the wind suddenly hit him, and turned to go back inside when he saw it.
A small snowman sat in the corner of the lawn area, next to the bushes and the bricks of the building. Jamie had probably built one before leaving that Christmas day - it even had all the usual items - carrot pieces for the smile, a button nose, some old branches for arms, and the eyes just holes carved into the snow. Jack felt a small smile on his face as he remembered all he backwards-snowmen he had built with his brother when they were kids.
And the one he built with Anna.
A sudden sorrow replaced his nostalgia as Jack walked slowly up to the icy creation. It stared at him with it's trademark grin, Jack felt even worse.
A sudden bang from the sky broke him out of the surreal moment and Jack turned, startled, to see a huge firework grace the sky and a plethora of smaller ones following suit, exploding into the dark.
For the first time in what felt like forever, Jack didn't look away from the colorful show. He didn't push the snowman down and ruin some kid's fun. Jack felt as if a weight he didn't know he had been carrying had been lifted suddenly, and he felt lighter as he was in between the two things that reminded him most about a certain red haired girl.
It wasn't joy. It was a sort of peace, acceptance. And that was okay with Jack.