SSSSS: Stupid Scary Slow Sonic Stories

Co Written By TrollingnoobXDew, Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus, and Candlelight Fantasia

The Shiny

Written By TrollingnoobXDew

"Bark check it out, now!" Bean screamed, running into the dumpy house and slamming the door behind him, before dashing up to the polar bear and smashing the television remote from his hand. Bark glared angrily towards the duck, slouching on the couch as the television continued to play its never ending parade of commercials. "Look at it, isn't it a beaut?" Bean asked with a smile, holding up what appeared to be a very shiny silver bomb. The polar bear looked wide-eyed, pushing the bomb away from his face ever so carefully. "Calm down bud, it isn't real, well according to Fiona it isn't," Bean informed plopping down on the couch next to his friend, turning the "bomb" in his hands to admire it.

"Yep I was out and about playing in the leaves, when Foxy strolls by saying she found the greatest present in the world, and guess what she's right, I mean who wouldn't want a shiny replica of a bomb? Anyway she said she was taking a walk through the Great Forest when she bumped into this old pudgy man who appeared to be a drifter, he said he had some things she might be interested in, and this was one of them. As soon as she saw it she knew I would love it, so she got it for me, and the best part is she didn't even have to pay for it, it was free. Jeez Bark you should be like Fiona more often, getting me amazing presents and stuff, and guess what she promised to take me trick or treating on Halloween," Bean ranted and explained simultaneously, all while staring at his new present.

Bark took in all the news and his face only seemed to grow more disbelieved as it went on, everyone knows creepy old people who give out free things lead to trouble, well most of the time. "Hmm… I gotta give you a name, how about Shiny?" Bean asked the silver "bomb", still fumbling with it and giving it a long lasting inspection. "Yeah I like it too, well Shiny, how about I go show you my room?" Bean more or so informed before leaping off the couch, sprinting down a nearby hall, diving into a room, and slamming the door shut. Bark watched his friend disappear behind the door, unknowing it would be awhile to he saw him again.

"Bean how many times did I tell you not to slam doors in my house?" Fang shouted from the room two doors down from Bean's. Moments later the weasel found himself walking down the hallway and knocking at the duck's door, when Fang realized he wasn't going to be getting an answer, he let out a sigh and decided to join Bark on the couch. "So Fiona got him something else to annoy me with, jeez that stupid girl needs to stop giving him things, I think her goal in life is to make my life miserable," Fang told the listening but never speaking bear beside him, who was picking the remote off the floor. "Oh well as long as it keeps him busy and out of my sight, too bad Halloween's approaching, he'll be bothering me all day," Fang said, lying back with a yawn before kicking his feet up on the coffee table in front of him.

That day was October twenty-seventh and the weasel was right, All Hallows' Eve was creeping its way towards the citizens of Mobius, and more importantly towards the people of the Acorn Kingdom. Each year on the thirty-first the Kingdom of Acorn holds a celebration in the center of Knothole with forgettable… I mean important figures such as King Acorn and Sally, but don't expect Sonic to show, he's too busy forgetting about the celebration in the first place. Anyway this party of the year was almost a taunt towards people like Fang, of course they weren't invited, not that they really wanted to go, but still it felt like a bragging reminder that they were the forgettable wanted scum of the earth, and to be honest it was the truth. In the end the group of criminals usually found themselves staying at home, but this year things were about to change.

And just by jumping down to the next paragraph it was the night of the thirty-first, in Knothole the townspeople were hastily putting up some final decorations for the event. Streamers and orange colored lights hung from the already fall touched trees, which were casually dropping leaves onto the cold ground that was already littered with them. Tables and chairs decorated with Halloween designs were everywhere, piled high with pumpkin pie and other seasonal treats. Along with crowds of chattering costumed citizens, the streets were aligned with jack-o- lanterns, artificial candles, skeletons, spider webs, and a wide variety of other decorations that some poor sap would be cleaning up the next day. In the center of the town lied a huge bonfire which was shooting up flames into the full moon night, behind it was a large banner that read, "Happy Halloween Knothole!" And to the left and right of the fire were two temporary stages, the one on the left sat the throne of King Acorn and Princess Sally, surrounded by royal guards, and the one to the right held Mina and the Forget Me Knots, who were jamming away for the cheering crowd.

In the meantime Bark and Fang were chillaxing in their small rundown house as they usually did, if I hadn't told you a few days passed you wouldn't have noticed, Bark was slouched on the couch flickering through horror movies on the television, and Fang was sitting next to him while drinking a beer and munching on chips.

"I can't believe it's Halloween and Bean hasn't cracked a word, he's usually lingering around me all day," Fang broke the silence as he took a swig of his drink, before laying it on the dusty coffee table. "Thinking about it, Bean hasn't made a peep since he got that stupid bomb thing, I haven't even seen him come out of his room," Fang said with a bit of concern, Bark turning and letting out a grunt in response. "Well as long as I'm happy it doesn't matter, he can stay in his room and never leave… wait if he's not leaving his room, what is he eating, and more importantly where is he using the bathroom?" Fang questioned his face becoming shocked in disgust as Bark evenly shared the same expression. The two leapt up from the aging couch and found themselves speeding over towards Bean's bedroom door. "Bean unlock this door right now, you can't spend your life hiding in your room, and you certainly can't be taking shits in there," Fang ordered, banging on the door repeatedly as he fumbled with the doorknob. After receiving no response, Bark's concern grew, it wasn't like his best friend to hide in his room and not make a peep for so long.

Letting out an angry huff, Bark pushed Fang aside and with a swift movement he knocked the door in, resulting in the two men being greeted by a waft of horrible stale smelling air. "Jeez what is that smell, Bean what the hell have you been doing in here?" Fang coughed in question, clenching his nose a Bark swiped his arms to clear the smell. The room was a mess, furniture was overturned and broken, various items were thrown on the floor, and the walls were covered in the word: Shiny, written over and over in different sizes. Bean himself was sitting on his unmade bed, his back towards the two as he fumbled with something in his hands. "Oh my God… since when does he know how to write?" Fang questioned, inspecting the various writings on the wall, missing the point that there was something very wrong with Bean. Bark sent a frown towards the weasel as he approached his best friend, placing a hand on his shoulder. The duck's head slowly turned around in a one eighty to face the polar bear, his eyes glowed a mix of red and blue, and his mouth was in a disgusted frown before it flew open to let out an inhuman screech that sent Bark stumbling back. "What the… Bean what has gotten into you? This is ridiculous, I know you love that stupid shiny thing so much, but locking yourself in your room and trashing it makes no logical sense, either way this has to stop, now," Fang instructed as Bean's body turned to join his head.

"Shiny, I love Shiny, he's my Shiny," Bean whispered to himself, a crazed look upon his face, "Shiny doesn't like you, Shiny wants you out!"

"Bean I didn't want to have to do this, but you're going to hand over that stupid thing right now, and then you're going to clean your damn room," Fang commanded, stomping forward and grabbing for the metal looking bomb.

"No!" Bean shouted before biting Fangs arm and leaping on top of him, punching him repeatedly with one hand, as the other held the "bomb" close to his chest, "Kill, kill for Shiny!"

"Get off of me!" Fang screamed, kicking the crazed duck back and fumbling to get to his feet, "That's it, hand it over or I shoot!"

"You think you can just take Shiny from me, nobody can take my Shiny," Bean laughed, not realizing that Bark was stepping forward, and with one great swipe, the Shiny was gone from the duck's clutches. "No… no… you can't take Shiny, Shiny's mine!" Bean let out a furious growl as he clenched his fist and dove at the awaiting polar bear, who dodged the attack with a swift move to the left.

"I warned you… where is it?" Fang shouted; ready to put a bullet in the insane Bean, but finding his holster empty, "Bark run!" Bark grunted in reply following the dashing weasel out the door and slamming it behind him. The two sped down to the end of the hall as the sound of increasingly loud banging rang out from behind them, and just as the two dove into Fang's room, Bean came bursting out of his.

"Oh Barky boy, I'm right behind you!" Bean screamed wildly, as he slowly trudged down the hall, his eyes glowing brighter than ever.

"It's got to be in here somewhere!" Fang cried, his face a twisted mess of worriment as Bark shut the door and barricaded it with a nearby chair from Fang's desk. Fang continued to rummage through his neat room turning it into a mess, as items were tossed here and there. Bark started to make impatient noises as the sound of approaching footsteps neared the door, and Bean's taunting voice came close behind it.

"Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in," Bean smiled as he casually knocked on the door.

"Fuck you!" Fang screamed, tearing his desk apart, still on the quest for the lost revolver.

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll crack your heads in," Bean laughed, pulling an axe seemingly out of nowhere and smashing it against the door.

"I found it!" Fang cheered, picking up the revolver from his desk and quickly checking its ammunition as Bark looked fearfully at the excited weasel. The sound of cracking wood continued to grow louder as Fang ran forward and aimed towards the door, ready to unleash hell, but before he could give the trigger a click, Bark knocked his hand down and shoved the silver bomb into his space. "Bark I know you don't want me to shoot Bean, but he's not your friend anymore, he's a psychopath… well one that's actually trying to murder people now," Fang told the annoyed polar bear who shook his head in a "No!", and pointed towards the "bomb" that he was still holding right in front of the weasel. "Oh you want me to destroy the stupid silver thing instead of Bean. I don't know how that's going to help except make that idiot more angry, but doing stupid things has saved me countless times before, so hand it over," Fang sighed grabbing the Shiny from Bark's grip and tossing it to the ground a few feet in front of him. "Here goes nothing," Fang commented as he aimed and gave the trigger a pull.

"Here's Bean!" the crazed duck shouted, smashing a hole in the barricaded door with the axe, and poking his head through, just to complete the reference towards "The Shining", as if the title of this story wasn't enough. At the exact same moment the bullet pierced the metallic looking bomb and seemed to stay stuck in the surface of the thing, but just as Bean pushed the chair out of the way and reached for the doorknob, the Shiny began to rumble like crazy, as cracks appeared all along its surface. Finally it seemed to fall into pieces, collapsing apart, and becoming a pile of dust on the floor.

"Is it over?" Fang asked, looking towards Bark who shrugged in return.

"Hey guys what's new?" Bean greeted as he opened the door and walked in casually, dropping the axe to the floor behind him.

"Stop!" Fang shouted, pointing his gun at the approaching duck.

"Whoa there Nacky, calm down, it's me Bean," Bean said with his typical stupid grin on his face. Fang and Bark looked over the duck for a second, seeing that the crazed look and weird glowing eyes had vanished, and the Bean they all knew and loved… I mean put up with, was back.

"Well that was enough excitement for one night, and now that everything's okay, Bean can clean up the whole house," Fang said, placing his revolver in his holster with a smile of success.

"Aw… hey maybe they can help me," Bean whined at first before smiling and pointing to something behind the happy Fang and Bark.

"What are you…," Fang started as he and Bark turned to see floating apparitions of a blue and a red duck wearing vice versa bowties.

"Well hello there, my name's Bin and my friend here is Pin, but of course Bean here already knows that," the blue duck greeted as the red duck waved towards the two shocked looking men.

"Ghost… you're ghost, but how… what… Bean!" Fang screamed, his blood pressure rising once more.

"Don't waste your energy on that fool, he's more trouble than he's worth," Pin informed with a yawn.

"Okay someone better tell me what exactly is going on around here," Fang ordered angrily as Bark let out a growl towards the ghostly visitors.

"Funny, that's exactly what we had in mind. Well you see a long time ago Pin and I were abandoned by our families, though luckily for us a young human girl named Lucy took us in. She raised and nurtured us as if we were one of her own, and to us, she was the mother we never had. During our time as children we were warned about a troublemaker named Bean, but we stupidly ignored these warnings and somehow befriended the idiotic troll, probably due to us all being interested in explosives, we even made a group name, The Dynamite Dux. One day when we were older an evil sorcerer named Achacha came along, like must evil magic people, Achacha had a plan to conquer the world, and become King. Of course this meant he needed a Queen, and that Queen was Lucy," Bin began explaining before Pin decided to take over.

"Bin and I were forced to destroy all of Achacha's forces and him by ourselves. Bean refused to come along, saying that he had no reason to help, since he had no connection to Lucy. Even though we defeated Achacha, we didn't know that he had cursed Lucy, since he couldn't have her, no one could, she died only a few days after the rescue. Typically we wanted revenge to destroy Achacha once and for all, and this time Bean agreed to come along, but when we were just about ready to fight Achacha, he was nowhere to be found. Achacha defeated us, and using his magic he sealed our souls into one of our very own bombs, which turned silver in response. He then stored us on his shelf as a trophy for years, until for some reason he handed us over to a pretty fox who decided to give us to Bean, just the duck we were looking for. Even though we didn't have much power in the bomb, we were able to slowly possess Bean, hoping to eventually drive him so insane that he may kill himself. But you guys had to interfere, for the better that is. As you can see, we're now free and can have our revenge much more conveniently," Pin finished the explanation with a grin.

"Wow, what a waste of two paragraphs," Bean commented, a bored look upon his face.

"Oh so you're here to get revenge on Bean for leaving you all those years ago, which means Bark and I can leave right?" Fang questioned with a false smile as sweat dripped from his forehead.

"Well for the first part of the question you're correct, for the second part you're wrong, as we're going to be possessing your bodies in a few seconds," Bin answered before flying straight into Bark.

"Oh shit!" Fang screamed, going to run as Pin flew into him, making him stop automatically in place.

"Hey guys did you notice my name backwards spells Naeb," Bean said, turning his attention towards his two friends, "Hey where did Bin and Pin the ghost go, oh well they were lame anyway."

"We're right here," Bark said in Bin's voice, his eyes glowing a bright blue.

"I know Bark, I meant… wait a second Bark doesn't talk, nor does he sound like Bin, that must mean you're being dubbed," Bean stated in triumph.

"No you idiot, we're Bin and Pin, we just possessed your friends," Pin informed through Fang's body, the eyes glowing a fiery red.

"Well then, you want to kill me right?" Bean asked in a frown, the two spirits using the bodies to nod their heads "Yes" in response, "Okay you stay here why I run away… no wait let's settle this like gentlemen, I'll go first. I left you guys to fight Achacha by yourself all those years ago, because I was bored."

"Is that the truth?" Bin questioned back not impressed.

"Yep," Bean truthfully trolled.

"Well, now we're really going to fucking murder you, and then keep your friends' bodies forever," Pin said, both of the spirits' expressions not changing, but before they could kill Bean, the doorbell rang.

"I forgot Fiona's here to pick me up to go trick or treating, excuse me for a second would ya?" Bean smiled before rushing out of the room and to the front door, leaving Bin and Pin to trade awkward expressions. "Sup Fiona, how's it going?" Bean greeted, stepping outside and pulling the front door shut behind him.

"Hey sweetie, sorry I'm running late, I just came from a party down at the casinos," Fiona smiled, standing in front of the duck in her rarely worn long black coat.

"Oh no worries, as long as we get candy and we get to teepee a few houses, it's all good. I know how busy life can be sometimes, I mean just a second ago I was dealing with some dead friends who were trapped inside that Shiny you gave me, and now they're possessing Bark and Fang's bodies, and are trying to kill me," Bean said nonchalantly with a slight wave of his hand.

"Wait what… Bean are you on something?" Fiona asked uneasily, her face in a frown.

"No, but are you, because if you are, can I have some?" Bean questioned back with large trollish grin, but before the vixen could respond, the front door came smashing down on Bean, and two very angry looking men stood in the door way.

"What the hell, Bark and Fang what do you think you're doing?" Fiona asked in utter shock.

"Yeah, what do you think you're doing?" Bean joined in, slipping out from underneath the door and giving a pouty face towards the spirits.

"Well hello there Foxy, I have to thank you for picking us up earlier, anyway we'll just be a second with Bean here, and then we'll take good care of you," Bin smiled creepily, stepping towards Bean.

"Bean, when you told me about vengeful ghosts a few seconds ago, I thought you were full of shit. Now that Bark's talking straight to my face, I totally believe you," Fiona frowned, to the smiling duck.

"I know right, anyway we should get out of here before they kill me and do unspeakable things to you, but those unspeakable things will never happen since this story's rated T," Bean explained before leaping up, grabbing the fox by the arm, and shooting towards an unknown destination.

"So I see you guys want to do this the hard way, well let's do it to it," Pin smiled towards his friend, giving him a fist bump as the two started after their prey.

"Bean we need to find the guy who gave me the silver bomb," Fiona instructed, running alongside her friend, who was looking at the night sky as the two kicked up waves of leaves behind them.

"Whatever, as long as we get candy," Bean responded, giving an unconcerned look towards Fiona.

"Sometimes…" Fiona shook her head in annoyance as she slipped of her coat and threw it behind her, letting her move with much more ease, if you call running in black skintight pants and a matching belly top being able to move with much more ease.

"Hey I know where to look, it's where everyone goes on Halloween," Bean said speeding ahead.

"Bean, no not Knothole, you idiot!" Fiona shouted angrily as she swiftly followed behind. In the meantime the Halloween celebration in Knothole was well underway, except Sonic the Hedgehog was still nowhere to be seen.

"And that was Mina Mongoose and the Forget Me Knots' newest hit, Spooky Scary Skeletons. Let's give it up for the Knots!" Princess Sally cheered over the microphone, which was followed by a loud applause from the crowd as Mina waved and blew kissing, stepping down from the stage along with the rest of her band. "In other news Sonic is still not here, but I encourage you to stick around as there is a slight chance he'll show up," Sally tried to smile, cringing as the audience started booing and grumbling in dissappointment. "NICOLE where's Sonic?" Sally whispered to her little computer, turning her back towards the mike.

"How should I know, Sally," the Holo-Lynx replied, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Useless as usual I see," Sally groaned, slamming the computer shut before shoving it back in her vest. Suddenly the sound of the crowd turned from anger to confusion as somebody came quickly pushing towards the bonfire. "Well look who showed up this year… you're not Sonic!" Sally shouted over the microphone as Bean stepped out of the mass of people towards the large fire, with Fiona trailing right behind.

"Hey there your majesty, we've come here looking for some pudgy old man, do you know him?" Bean questioned, wobbling his way stupidly towards the stage.

"What… Bean and Fiona, I thought we made it pretty clear that you're not welcome here, and if you don't leave this instant, Antoine here will arrest the two of you," Sally threatened, the duck looking directly up at her from the grass below.

"I'll take that as a maybe," Bean responded, his expression still caught in its everlasting smile.

"I know we're not anywhere near close to friends, but what Bean here is saying is absolutely true, we need to find this man now or we could be in danger, don't you have a heart?" Fiona asked, giving a look of innocence.

"I don't give a shit what you're doing here, you leave now, or else," Sally informed in frustration.

"Don't worry friends, I'm here, and I've been waiting for you Bean," a voice suddenly crept up from behind the duck and fox who both turned to the large fire. Suddenly the surrounding crowd grew quite as they all watched a fat little old man step out of the flames untouched.

"That's him," Fiona said softly to Bean who gave a thumbs up in return.

"Good evening citizens of Knothole, Princess Sally, King Acorn, Miss Fox, and of course you Bean," the man smiled creepily his tone dark and unforgiving, "I hope you're enjoying your Halloween, cause it's about to come to an end."

"So you think you could get away did… Achacha?" Bin started as the two spirits shoved their way out of the crowd and joined their targets at the roaring fire.

"Wait Achacha, you're Achacha… duh, why wasn't I paying attention earlier," Bean face palmed himself.

"Wait is there something I should know?" Fiona questioned, Bean handed her a laptop in reply and pointed to the explanation section earlier in this story, "Oh."

"I have no idea what's going on here, but all of you can get the hell out of my Kingdom, now!" Sally screamed.

"Sorry Princess, but I have business to attend to," Achacha gave a cold smile.

"Antoine, get him!" Sally shouted, stomping her foot repeatedly.

"Of course my Princess," Antoine saluted, marching forward and grabbing the sorcerer by the arm, "You're under arrest."

"Get off me fool," Achacha commanded, punching the coyote in the face and sending him flying back.

"It's ze curse!" Antoine cried, pulling himself from the ground and running off.

"Get back here, you pussy!" Sally yelled.

"Now if you excuse me, as you know Bean, a long time ago I sealed your friends into their own bomb and kept it as a trophy. Over the years as my knowledge for the dark arts grew, I discovered I could create a new world by breaking the barrier between the living and the dead, one that I could control. Sadly the only way to do this is to have the spirit of a dead one that has a connection to a spirit of the living, combine together to break the realm. Knowing that I had Bin and Pin as two dead spirits and knowing that you a living spirit were once friends with them, I decided to watch you for a couple weeks and then I put together this whole elaborate plan which so far is right on cue," the sorcerer explained to the non-listening duck before him.

"God damn it, I knew are luck was too good to be true!" Pin shouted angrily to his friend.

"Though our luck's about to change, cause we're going to kick your ass!" Bin yelled, ready to throw some massive punches.

"Hmm, too bad all I need to do is use my spell to suck all of your souls together into this bomb, your friend Bean just handed me," Achacha smirked as he started to chant unrecognizable words, waving his one arm in the air as he held the bomb in the other.

"Bean!" almost everyone seemed to scream.

"What?" Bean said shrugging his shoulders, not caring that the bomb he just gave to the sorcerer was the reason everybody was going to die. And just like that a large gust of wind started swirling its way around, blowing up leaves and dirt while citizens ducked for cover.

"You stupid no good… Bean I hate you!" Bin and Pin screamed simultaneously as their spirits were ripped from Bark and Fang's bodies, which fell to the ground in response.

"I love you too!" Bean smiled as his soul was also ripped from its body and dragged towards the bomb. Bin and Pin shouted helplessly as they disappeared into the explosive, and as Bean was nearing his fate he did a quick swing towards the fire, shoving his head in it and yelling, "I always wanted to do that!"

"Oh no you don't," Achacha grinned, swinging the bomb towards the spirit and sucking it in, "Yes, finally!"

"Bean!" Fiona cried amongst many fearful cries from the crowd.

"Any minute now the barrier will break and all of you will be my loyal slaves, nothing can stop me now!" the sorcerer laughed crazily, of course jinxing himself, and not seeing that his quick turn towards the fire to catch Bean's soul had lit the bomb.

"Everybody get down, except for Sally!" Fiona shouted, diving towards the ground next to the lying body of Fang.

"What the hell are you…" though before he could finish his sentence Achacha was caught in the fiery explosion. Having no time to shield himself with his magic, Achacha was blown to many crispy pieces which lay before the frighten citizens, who at this point were leaving the area as quickly as they could manage. Out of the explosion shot the souls of Bean, Bin, and Pin who looked very much confused at the moment, except for Bean who was grinning as he flew back into his body.

"Shazam, I'm alive," Bean cheered, jumping up and doing a stupid dance as Bark and Fang made their way up, brushing themselves off, and trying to get their minds straight.

"Oh thank goodness hon, I was so worried," Fiona cried, giving Bean a tight hug, which the troll quickly pulled out of.

"Fiona stop cramping my style," Bean said before looking at the confused floating spirits of Bin and Pin, "What are you fools still doing here?"

"Bean you helped us complete our unfinished business, by destroying Achacha, you have granted our souls peace. Pin and I can finally make our way to the Heavens and join up with our loving Lucy in the afterlife, or in words you'll understand, we're not going to try to kill you anymore, and we're leaving," Bin explained before both him and Pin gave a wave and flew off into the night sky.

"I have no idea what the fuck just happened, but either way you're all under arrest!" Sally screamed at the top of her lungs to the group of criminals below.

"Um… this is the part where we run back to your house, and try to collect our sanity there," Fiona awkwardly smiled towards Bean before flicking off Sally, and scampering off as quickly as possible.

"Wait Bean, what is going on?" Fang tried to question, watching Bean dash to a nearby table lined with some unclaimed candy, which he shoved into his hands.

"No time Fang, I'll tell you later, but everything's okay, I got candy!" Bean cheered, running after Fiona.

"Wait what?" Fang said dumbfounded as Bark quickly picked him up and shot off in pursuit of the duck.

"Are you kidding me, where's the damn guards when you need them?" Sally stomped in fury, realizing that the village center was empty except for the litter of trash and decorations. "And of course Sonic doesn't show, fuck!" Sally screamed, kicking over the mike in front of her.

"Huh… Sally watch your mouth, and tell the citizens I said happy Halloween…" King Acorn instructed from behind Sally, awaking from a deep sleep that he then fell back into without much concern. Sally frowned in response just as the wind blew the ongoing bonfire back, catching the "Happy Halloween Knothole!" banner on fire. And so children that brings our Halloween tale to an end, and yes the moral of the story is don't put flammable things near fires, cause that's no good!